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Needing some motivation
  1. #1
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    Default Needing some motivation

    Hi everyone. Tomorrow starts my first full day of not taking any medication. Last dose was at 7am this morning. Have slowly tapppered off 6/7 Norfolk a day for the last year and a half. Got down to 2 this morning. Won't be taking any tomorrow. Already feel like taking more. Not looking forward to how I'm gonna make it through the day tomorrow.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Leza14 View Post
    Hi everyone. Tomorrow starts my first full day of not taking any medication. Last dose was at 7am this morning. Have slowly tapppered off 6/7 Norfolk a day for the last year and a half. Got down to 2 this morning. Won't be taking any tomorrow. Already feel like taking more. Not looking forward to how I'm gonna make it through the day tomorrow.
    Everyone here is so supportive! I'm a little over 2 weeks off norcos and I'm feeling pretty good right now! The worst was like the first 5 -7 days!! Good luck and don't take anything tomorrow u will regret it!
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  3. #3
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    Hi Leza! 9 days here, and it was rough for me through day 4. It was survivable though I didn't think so a few times. At moments I felt very restless. Insomnia. Stomach cramps, gas. Imodium helped a lot. Ibuprofen and Tylenol a bit. Lots of water.

    Just stick it out. There's a lot of experience in these forums. Lots of hope! Many others who've been exactly where you're at and gotten through it. You're not alone!

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    Merriegold is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leza14 View Post
    Hi everyone. Tomorrow starts my first full day of not taking any medication. Last dose was at 7am this morning. Have slowly tapppered off 6/7 Norfolk a day for the last year and a half. Got down to 2 this morning. Won't be taking any tomorrow. Already feel like taking more. Not looking forward to how I'm gonna make it through the day tomorrow.
    Hoping it would be good without the medication. All the best

  5. #5
    zebra1961 is offline Member
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    Default Tomorrow worries

    Dont dwell on the next day, focus on what is coming you are off drugs and the real you is coming back!!You will make it lots of us did so i know you can!! Dig in your heels when cravings try to call you back, look up Thomas recipe use it it really helps keep us posted lots of good people here that know what you are going thru that want to help.

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    survivalist is offline Junior Member
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    It gonna be tough ride but is worth it. Lots of water, try keeping mind and body busy, experiment with new things. All the best

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    ROSES8 is offline Junior Member
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    I need help. How do you do it? What did you do to start?

  8. #8
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    Can you tell me what your symptoms the first 5 days were like?

  9. #9
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    I'm just sick of taking a pill to feel normal. It doesn't even feel good anymore. They just stop me from feeling bad. I did buy the stuff for the Yhomas Recipe and have some Xanax. Do you have access to a Dr?

  10. #10
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by zebra1961 View Post
    Dont dwell on the next day, focus on what is coming you are off drugs and the real you is coming back!!You will make it lots of us did so i know you can!! Dig in your heels when cravings try to call you back, look up Thomas recipe use it it really helps keep us posted lots of good people here that know what you are going thru that want to help.
    Thank you! I did buy the stuff for the Thomas Recipe. Not looking forward to the lack of energy

  11. #11
    dsh12345 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leza14 View Post
    Thank you! I did buy the stuff for the Thomas Recipe. Not looking forward to the lack of energy
    My first and only attempt at a real CT was Summer 2016. Did a little bit of reading... and what I expected was 5-6 days of hell and then you wake up day 7 feeling great, all sunshine and happiness and it's over... WRONG. What I wasn't prepared for is that... after the acute WD is over, there is likely a 2-4 week period where you will have low energy/low mood/low motivation/insomnia. I wasn't prepared for that. I was turning the corner like week 3... but either I got overconfident or tired of being tired and thought "Well I'll just take 3-4 5mg oxycodone tabs here and there a day and jump easy from 20mg daily oxycodone habit"... WRONG of course and full relapse.

    I am now 30 days into a suboxone taper, thirty days ago was using 200-300mg oxy or H a day, and now I am on 0.5mg suboxone for the first day out of 4 days total at this dose.


    I guess, what I just wanted to say, was that what I wish I knew about my first WD experience.... the most uncomfortable part is the acute WD obviously... but that isn't the HARDEST part, just the most uncomfortable. The acute WD's will fix themselves no matter what if you stick through it... nobody can screw that up... it literally gets better on their own after a couple days for EVERYONE.
    That's the most uncomfortable.... but also the easiest part because they resolve themselves. The hardest was that slow recovery of energy/mood for me and resisting cravings and re-learning to live life sober. When I was using... it was use before leaving the house, use before guests would come over, , use in the car before getting to someone's house, take the opportunity to use in the bathroom anytime in public because it gave me time alone to use, even use before shower time because I didn't like being cold when I stepped outside so I would try to make myself more comfortable. Everything resolved around using and feeding my brain with artificial happy boost/energy pills. Retraining my brain to not rely on that was definitely a good thing about using subs to get off... as they helped wit hthe cravings and didn't give me euphoria so this has been good.

    I guess I'm done ranting now. Just remember, everyone wins the fight with acute WD (assuming they dont use of course). Winning the battle to stay clean isn't automatic and doesn't fix itself like acute WD does. Your habit seems a bit smaller however... much smaller. So it likely won't be several weeks of slow recovery of energy and mood... probably alot faster in your case. So that's good!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-14-2017 at 02:41 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Leza14 View Post
    Hi everyone. Tomorrow starts my first full day of not taking any medication. Last dose was at 7am this morning. Have slowly tapppered off 6/7 Norfolk a day for the last year and a half. Got down to 2 this morning. Won't be taking any tomorrow. Already feel like taking more. Not looking forward to how I'm gonna make it through the day tomorrow.
    Wishing you the best Leza! How are you doing so far? Assuming you took the cold turkey route since there was no mention of any other detox plan good luck and keep posting! You will love the support you receive here! God Bless

  13. #13
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dsh12345 View Post
    My first and only attempt at a real CT was Summer 2016. Did a little bit of reading... and what I expected was 5-6 days of hell and then you wake up day 7 feeling great, all sunshine and happiness and it's over... WRONG. What I wasn't prepared for is that... after the acute WD is over, there is likely a 2-4 week period where you will have low energy/low mood/low motivation/insomnia. I wasn't prepared for that. I was turning the corner like week 3... but either I got overconfident or tired of being tired and thought "Well I'll just take 3-4 5mg oxycodone tabs here and there a day and jump easy from 20mg daily oxycodone habit"... WRONG of course and full relapse.

    I am now 30 days into a suboxone taper, thirty days ago was using 200-300mg oxy or H a day, and now I am on 0.5mg suboxone for the first day out of 4 days total at this dose.


    I guess, what I just wanted to say, was that what I wish I knew about my first WD experience.... the most uncomfortable part is the acute WD obviously... but that isn't the HARDEST part, just the most uncomfortable. The acute WD's will fix themselves no matter what if you stick through it... nobody can screw that up... it literally gets better on their own after a couple days for EVERYONE.
    That's the most uncomfortable.... but also the easiest part because they resolve themselves. The hardest was that slow recovery of energy/mood for me and resisting cravings and re-learning to live life sober. When I was using... it was use before leaving the house, use before guests would come over, , use in the car before getting to someone's house, take the opportunity to use in the bathroom anytime in public because it gave me time alone to use, even use before shower time because I didn't like being cold when I stepped outside so I would try to make myself more comfortable. Everything resolved around using and feeding my brain with artificial happy boost/energy pills. Retraining my brain to not rely on that was definitely a good thing about using subs to get off... as they helped wit hthe cravings and didn't give me euphoria so this has been good.

    I guess I'm done ranting now. Just remember, everyone wins the fight with acute WD (assuming they dont use of course). Winning the battle to stay clean isn't automatic and doesn't fix itself like acute WD does. Your habit seems a bit smaller however... much smaller. So it likely won't be several weeks of slow recovery of energy and mood... probably alot faster in your case. So that's good!
    You hit the nail on the head. I'm sure I can get past the WD. What I'm worried about it like you, I took them before leaving the house, before guest came over, pretty much before I did anything as they gave me the feeling euphoria, the fake happiness. My other tough part right now is that I can't tell anyone about my problem. The pills I have been downing aren't even mine, they are my SO. He has a prescription due to a back injury and takes way less than what he is perscribed so he always has a stash of them. My stupid ass decided to help myself to them and now I'm in this mess. So I can't tell anyone and I have to pretend to feel normal and be happy.

  14. #14
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopingtobeclean View Post
    Wishing you the best Leza! How are you doing so far? Assuming you took the cold turkey route since there was no mention of any other detox plan good luck and keep posting! You will love the support you receive here! God Bless
    I'm doing ok. Fighting my brain telling me to just take some today and start fresh tomorrow. Trouble is I've been doing that for the last few months. I've been using the Thomas Recipe and I haven't experience flu like symptoms yet like the last time I quit. Just super unmotivated, yawning a lot, slightly down, and a little irritated. I've been taking Imodium since I quit so my tummy is doing ok. Worked out this morning and felt like I was gonna throw up so I don't think I'll be lifting weights until my WD symptoms are completely gone

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    dsh12345 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leza14 View Post
    You hit the nail on the head. I'm sure I can get past the WD. What I'm worried about it like you, I took them before leaving the house, before guest came over, pretty much before I did anything as they gave me the feeling euphoria, the fake happiness. My other tough part right now is that I can't tell anyone about my problem. The pills I have been downing aren't even mine, they are my SO. He has a prescription due to a back injury and takes way less than what he is perscribed so he always has a stash of them. My stupid ass decided to help myself to them and now I'm in this mess. So I can't tell anyone and I have to pretend to feel normal and be happy.
    That's not a good situation... There will always be vicodin just sitting there around the house. I dunno what to suggest... your SO doesn't know anything right, but surely he has to have noticed so many like a hundred gone each month?


    Something has to be done with the vicodin sitting around the house... If it's always sitting there ready for your to give in at any given second... it's gonna be a real struggle. One day you might be feeling tired, bored, just having a bad day, wahtever and tell yourself "Man I'm clean I'll just take one, and that's it"... and then one turns into 2 into 3 etc.


    Like I said when I CT last Summer... I made like 3-4 weeks. I guess I was tired of being tired... or maybe I was turning the corner and getting out of the woods and getting overconfident.. I dunno... but I decided 'OK, I'll just take 2-3 5mg oxycodone per day just to get my energy back, and then CT right off that in like 2 weeks with zero sweat zero problems..." Wrong of course and that led to a full relapse.



    I guess everyone is different, but if I had the opportunity to TREMENDOUSLY help my SO by being informed about what's happened, and hiding the pills, or stashing them at work in a drawer.. or something.... so that my SO won't relapse that's something I'd rather be informed of in a heartbeat and might even get angry if SO didn't tell me that the little step needed to potentially save your life is to just move the bottle out of the house and just scared to tell me, or if he truly doesn't need them just flush them.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-15-2017 at 03:36 PM.

  16. #16
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dsh12345 View Post
    That's not a good situation... There will always be vicodin just sitting there around the house. I dunno what to suggest... your SO doesn't know anything right, but surely he has to have noticed so many like a hundred gone each month?


    Something has to be done with the vicodin sitting around the house... If it's always sitting there ready for your to give in at any given second... it's gonna be a real struggle. One day you might be feeling tired, bored, just having a bad day, wahtever and tell yourself "Man I'm clean I'll just take one, and that's it"... and then one turns into 2 into 3 etc.


    Like I said when I CT last Summer... I made like 3-4 weeks. I guess I was tired of being tired... or maybe I was turning the corner and getting out of the woods and getting overconfident.. I dunno... but I decided 'OK, I'll just take 2-3 5mg oxycodone per day just to get my energy back, and then CT right off that in like 2 weeks with zero sweat zero problems..." Wrong of course and that led to a full relapse.



    I guess everyone is different, but if I had the opportunity to TREMENDOUSLY help my SO by being informed about what's happened, and hiding the pills, or stashing them at work in a drawer.. or something.... so that my SO won't relapse that's something I'd rather be informed of in a heartbeat and might even get angry if SO didn't tell me that the little step needed to potentially save your life is to just move the bottle out of the house and just scared to tell me, or if he truly doesn't need them just flush them.
    I spoke with him about it once before. He knows I was taking them. He doesn't know I started again though. They are stashed in a safe that I no longer know the combo to. He would be so disappointed in me and I don't know that I can deal with that again you know? I've struggled with addiction before in life and he brought that up the last time we talked about this. He couldn't wrap his head around why I would even mess with a substance again knowing my own history. It's something I've beaten myself up about many times. How did I do this to myself again? I'm sure I can make it through this time and not mess with them again. Mentally I don't want to do this anymore. This morning before I went to the gym I had the urge to take some but know from the struggle the last couple of weeks that I'll feel worse if I take them. Like I said, they aren't even giving me a feeling of being high anymore it's just to feel normal. I just have to keep coming here and speaking with people like you who will remind me not to feel confident that I can just take a few. Because a few today leads to a few tomorrow and next thing you know I'm right back where I started. Thank you for the messages. I really appreciate them.

  17. #17
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    Spent the day cleaning my house and doing laundry to take my mind of things. Worked pretty well minus the sore legs. I find that I have an easier time at night with the cravings. Idk if this is because I normally didn't take any at night. Mornings are def the most tough on me. I think the vitamins and minerals are really helping. Bought some separate potassium supplements and have been taking those. The bottle says I can take up to five a day. Took two. Xanax yesterday and I think that really helped calm me down. May take another one tonight to help me sleep as I feel wide awake at the moment. Day 2 down in the books!

  18. #18
    dsh12345 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leza14 View Post
    Spent the day cleaning my house and doing laundry to take my mind of things. Worked pretty well minus the sore legs. I find that I have an easier time at night with the cravings. Idk if this is because I normally didn't take any at night. Mornings are def the most tough on me. I think the vitamins and minerals are really helping. Bought some separate potassium supplements and have been taking those. The bottle says I can take up to five a day. Took two. Xanax yesterday and I think that really helped calm me down. May take another one tonight to help me sleep as I feel wide awake at the moment. Day 2 down in the books!

    Hey hang in there. I'm following your story, rooting for you.

    You say you took 6-7 Norfolk a day.... was that your phone autocorrecting you, and you meant to say 6-7 Norco? As in, like 5mg vicodin/hydrocodone? If so, that's a good thing. That's not too big a dose to come off of. I am glad you are feeling better at day 2. Keep in mind, the acute WD symptoms might all be over by day 3-4, but it might take 1-2 more weeks to get your energy/sleep/motivation/mood back. Those are typically the last to come back. After the days 3-4 the acute WD (body pains/diarrhea, nausea, feeling horrible) will all go away, but just keep in mind it may or may not be a 1-2 week slow recovery of energy/sleep/mood. Hopefully not, and hopefully that part will be very quick given the smaller habit you were on.

    Rooting for you! hang in there!

  19. #19
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    [QUOTE=dsh12345;527972]Hey hang in there. I'm following your story, rooting for you.

    You say you took 6-7 Norfolk a day.... was that your phone autocorrecting you, and you meant to say 6-7 Norco? As in, like 5mg vicodin/hydrocodone? If so, that's a good thing. That's not too big a dose to come off of. I am glad you are feeling better at day 2. Keep in mind, the acute WD symptoms might all be over by day 3-4, but it might take 1-2 more weeks to get your energy/sleep/motivation/mood back. Those are typically the last to come back. After the days 3-4 the acute WD (body pains/diarrhea, nausea, feeling horrible) will all go away, but just keep in mind it may or may not be a 1-2 week slow recovery of energy/sleep/mood. Hopefully not, and hopefully that part will be very quick given the smaller habit you were on.

    Rooting for you! hang in there!


    Thank you! Yes my phone autocorrected
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-16-2017 at 05:56 PM.

  20. #20
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    Just noticed my last post got cut off lol. I was taking at most 9 10-325 Norco a day for a little over a year and a half. This weekend went ok. Had the fake the funk on Easter with the family but that's ok. I've done this to myself. Today is my first day at work sober in a year and a half and I gotta tell ya I'm slacking. Out on a smoke break posting on here. Quite proud of myself though for leaving the house without taking anything. Don't get me wrong the urge was strong. What's crazy is my SO got his script refilled yesterday so I know there is a fresh stash in the house. I think he knows I was taking them as I noticed he left a teeny tiny thing on the floor that is marking where the door Is placed I assume to see if I got into them. He hasn't mentioned anything but it made me smile that he did that. I'm glad he did. One of the many things I've beaten myself up about through this is if I were to take so many of his and end up leaving him without any before he can refill his script. Thankfully that hasn't happened. As I mentioned in my previous post he has a script because of a back injury and really needs them. He tAkes less than he is prescribed and doesn't abuse them like I have been. Just gotta make it through the day today. My tummy is starting to act up a little today but thankful I'm not shivering and sweating as I was this weekend. Just trying to keep my mind occupied.

  21. #21
    dsh12345 is offline Senior Member
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    Hey good job. Today is what? FIVE days clean now? That's pretty good. For 90mg hydrocodone daily, 5 days should be plenty to turn a real corner from the acute WD. Glad to see you went to work today.... able to go to work at all that is. The phase where you are watching the clock constantly waiting for each hour to pass should be all gone, assuming it ever got that bad for you.


    Again, good job on five days clean. There might be 1-3 weeks of gradually getting your energy back, mood back, motivation back, interests and hobbies back. Probably after that you will be like 90-95% of your way to being yourself. Should cravings hit.... again like I've said the Norcos are still in the house. Please have a plan in mind for when a moment of weakness or a moment of cravings hit in the next 1-2 weeks or so.

    Good job. The hard acute part is over. Now just a little bit more time for the slower recovery where you will soon feel a tiny bit better and better every day in terms of mood/appetite/energy/motivation/etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Leza14 View Post
    I'm doing ok. Fighting my brain telling me to just take some today and start fresh tomorrow. Trouble is I've been doing that for the last few months. I've been using the Thomas Recipe and I haven't experience flu like symptoms yet like the last time I quit. Just super unmotivated, yawning a lot, slightly down, and a little irritated. I've been taking Imodium since I quit so my tummy is doing ok. Worked out this morning and felt like I was gonna throw up so I don't think I'll be lifting weights until my WD symptoms are completely gone
    Oh my! I know quite to well how that goes! Been down that path several times before...not fun. Have you come up with a detox plan yet? Or are you battling this one CT? Subs are highly recommended if followed properly. Im currently on a sub detox now along with DSH who is 30+/- days ahead of me. Hope your feeliNg better with whatever route you take. Remember, you'll make it out alive. Just stay focused, positive, the rest will slowly but surely come to you! God Bless

  23. #23
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopingtobeclean View Post
    Oh my! I know quite to well how that goes! Been down that path several times before...not fun. Have you come up with a detox plan yet? Or are you battling this one CT? Subs are highly recommended if followed properly. Im currently on a sub detox now along with DSH who is 30+/- days ahead of me. Hope your feeliNg better with whatever route you take. Remember, you'll make it out alive. Just stay focused, positive, the rest will slowly but surely come to you! God Bless
    I decided to go CT after tapering down. It gets easier day by day. My physical symptoms seem to be gone. Just a little tired throughout the day. TBH IDK if I'm actually tired or if I am just missing the energy that the Norcos gave me. As you say though. I'll make it through this. Thank you for the encouragement

  24. #24
    dsh12345 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leza14 View Post
    I decided to go CT after tapering down. It gets easier day by day. My physical symptoms seem to be gone. Just a little tired throughout the day. TBH IDK if I'm actually tired or if I am just missing the energy that the Norcos gave me. As you say though. I'll make it through this. Thank you for the encouragement
    The fatigue you feel after the acute WD's are definitely real. Part of it is mental, but part of it is very real. After my day 3 of CT, I felt much better from an acute WD symptom standpoint. I celebrated, came clean to some of my friends about my habit and how it was now all over, etc. But then, after day 5, no acute WD symptoms mind you but crushing lack of energy, fatigue, appetite. I was like wtf is going on? Are these PAWS? Are these protracted WD's? What did I screw up?

    Had I educated myself more, I would have realized this is the rule not the exception to coming CT off opiates. Had I known, I would have likely posted on this thread, gotten responses, seen other ppl say that this period after the acute WD's is basically what happens to everybody, and that they too will resolve, and gotten the appropriate support I needed.


    So, I just want to provide that support I didn't give myself when I went CT Summer 2016 and relapsed after 3 weeks. There will be lingering symptoms like lack of energy, lack of interest in activities, etc..... that will all slowly get better. There's a famous addictionologist doctor somewhere out there that a lot of ppl subscribe to that I ran across in someone else's thread who once said "getting off ANY opiate is a 6-8 week process" and that was quoted often repeatedly on this other site I was looking at. That probably is definitely true. The first couple days of acute WD, and then the slow recovery of the mental aspects as you get your energy/motivation/enjoyment back.

  25. #25
    Punkin0411 is offline New Member
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    I agree 100%. Im on day 6 of not having anything in my system. First time in over 5 years. I was up to 15 percocet a day. The worst for me were the first 3 days. Starting to feel better day by day. Please dont take any tomorrow. If youneed help, just reach out on here. So happy I did!

    Kelly

  26. #26
    Leza14 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dsh12345 View Post
    The fatigue you feel after the acute WD's are definitely real. Part of it is mental, but part of it is very real. After my day 3 of CT, I felt much better from an acute WD symptom standpoint. I celebrated, came clean to some of my friends about my habit and how it was now all over, etc. But then, after day 5, no acute WD symptoms mind you but crushing lack of energy, fatigue, appetite. I was like wtf is going on? Are these PAWS? Are these protracted WD's? What did I screw up?

    Had I educated myself more, I would have realized this is the rule not the exception to coming CT off opiates. Had I known, I would have likely posted on this thread, gotten responses, seen other ppl say that this period after the acute WD's is basically what happens to everybody, and that they too will resolve, and gotten the appropriate support I needed.


    So, I just want to provide that support I didn't give myself when I went CT Summer 2016 and relapsed after 3 weeks. There will be lingering symptoms like lack of energy, lack of interest in activities, etc..... that will all slowly get better. There's a famous addictionologist doctor somewhere out there that a lot of ppl subscribe to that I ran across in someone else's thread who once said "getting off ANY opiate is a 6-8 week process" and that was quoted often repeatedly on this other site I was looking at. That probably is definitely true. The first couple days of acute WD, and then the slow recovery of the mental aspects as you get your energy/motivation/enjoyment back.
    Good to know! Thank you for sharing that information. It will help knowing what to expect so that I don't fall into the trap of thinking it will never be better.

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