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  1. #1
    Deenie W is offline New Member
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    Default New here

    Hi all, what a neat place to be for information and support. I'm on day 10 of withdrawals from 30mg/day methadone, and 3 tabs of oxycodone- 10/350. Been on it (started on Vicodin, then something else, then OxyContin, then the methadone.) for about 20 years. Broke my back in the 6th grade, but did not know it. Almost 30 yrs. later, lumbar so bad had to have surgery. I'm now 60, and have had 5 spine surgeries. 2 lumbar and 3 cervical spine. My neck is totally fused as of just a year ago. Except the atlas. I've been in chronic pain since I broke my back, but was very active, rode race horses, jumped horses, etc. Have never cheated on what my pain mgmt. doc prescribed, no recreational drugs, I was really careful. They only checked my kidneys/liver 2 times in that time. Seems irresponsible to me, but maybe they just don't do that. Started to feel that my memory was not as good, so decided to get off the meds. My docs said don't try it on your own... did it on my own! I titrated done by a quarter of dose every 2 weeks. At day 10, I'm beginning to think I'll live. When I got off of it all, it was way worse than the other 3 titrations. Have rls, starting to fade down my legs, electrical feelings down to just above knees, can't sleep but short naps... mega pain in lumbar, which is a bit better by now, neck hurts, sharp cringing pains in my back & head. This has been the hardest thing I've ever taken on!!! No way will I go back. But... what if the pain doesn't go away after several months? Does one at that point decide for quality or quantity of life? Just wondering... anyone know how long I can expect the horrible pain in surgery sites? Wondering if it will ever go away, or if it will be as horrible as before all 5 surgeries. I know we're all different... thanks for any feedback. May God bless you all and good luck, stay strong, we can all beat this monster.
    jorgemanuel33 likes this.

  2. #2
    Deenie W is offline New Member
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    No one there? Thought I'd here from someone...

  3. #3
    Deenie W is offline New Member
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    Day 11... will I ever sleep again?

  4. #4
    mychoices123 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey yes there is. So recently living in rural CO. My dr was the only Dr prescribing pain meds. He was s switched to another clinic and everyone had to be reviewed with a five year pharmacy pull on record and ua's. I don't know what I would have done but some how I got in with no review because I was scheduling a pre op approval for another Dr. And after that they had me on file and never reviewed. My problem started with cancer and auto immune disorder ten yrs ago. Well my neighbor was reviewed I know his meds record at the was completely legit and for good reason 75mmg fentonl patches and 60 ocodone. He had not one early fill, denied. So he has to go all the way to grand junction 100+ miles to the only pain management doctor. They did a ween and plan to understand his actual pain. So once he's done they will keep him off and monitor what the real pain is. Long term opiates cause pain. So once that is decided, they have a great number of new technology's that manage pain opiate free. It has a lot to do with managing pain without taking meds and will provide more relief longer. None of them will change brain function, or chemestry. So seems like he might be better off. I chose to cold turkey after ten years. I'm moving onto four days. I never really wanted to quit before. I am 38 same medical issues and have six kids. I don't know what happened Sat but I couldn't even stand the thought my dr had done this. It was NOT his fault. It was mine. I chose to take them, I chose to run out, I chose to use my money for more. I hit rock bottom, and so I changed my accountability and support, came clean after hiding for ten years. Long story sorry. He has had a comfortable taper, and he will be provided help with pain. I have no will power so I knew it was rehab or cold. After calling the rehab, who insisted that I could not do this alone, I was pissed I was trying to be convinced to go to them to give them money and take drugs. Absolutely no resources, they don't even know what the phone number is for the national association for narcotics helpline. Fire was lit. So now day four alone stopped 160 oc d/400 mg oxycodone. Now saying all of that, we all know here we do use only minimal amounts. Not. So because I want to fight for me with all I have I am acting like I m worth it. My neighbor stayed comfortable hasnt given much thought. I guess I'm saying that this time I wanted it. Secondly, life isn't is cheap or guaranteed. Nothing is easy that worth it. So I really took time today I was different. I cut all ties, and cut my own rope. Every time I had a negative thought I practiced by making myself having a happy thought. Work work work work that brain. Retain the behavior as you go not after your to depressed. And after 92 hours , the illnesses and injuries.... I am done with time stealing refill waiting. I am basically saying do what ever. Never opiates. This is a big fight, the best thing I think is as a change in thinking with practice. Take ownership and want to. You will know when that is because you'll just do something different and your desire is just gone to take even one more pill. So I truly believe he will have pain management comfortably, I am fighting for my life. Which one of the two of us will be more likely to succeed , and still successful in ten more years?

  5. #5
    mychoices123 is offline Junior Member
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    Yes you will, you've got to try to force some happy thoughts in

  6. #6
    Deenie W is offline New Member
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    Sounds like you're really on the right path, and doing this thing, good for you!! I'm originally from Colorado, grew up in Steamboat Springs. God's country for sure. I'm day 12 now... still very painful, but eased some. Still the rls, worse from sunset to dawn. But now at least it's in my lower legs, seems to kinda be draining down. The lack of sleep is a killer!! Taking melatonin, but get only about 1-2 hours of broken sleep. Wonder how long this will go on? Need to get back to life!! Luckily nothing mental, or even wanting any meds. But I will say, this is the hardest thing I've ever done!!
    You hang in there, keep up the great work!!

  7. #7
    mychoices123 is offline Junior Member
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    That is amazing. I have "quit" IE ran out so many times, your right it's like you know when it's the one bc your simply done. I just knew I hated everything so if I wanted to ensure I would not want another one so I have purposely backed into a corner and embraced the pain so I remember the lesson. It's just done. Rls on day 12 shoot, that's not great news, but hey you seem very sweet.

  8. #8
    jorgemanuel33 is offline Member
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    Default Hi Deenie

    First of all thanks for your words on my thread.
    Hope you´re feeling better now. it´s a difficult path but it´s so worth it.
    day 14 for you right if i remenber right that was when i started to feel better.

  9. #9
    Deenie W is offline New Member
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    Thanks jorgemanuel33! Yep, day 15 today, gradually getting less rls, about at the knees down now. Still not getting but about 2-3 hours of broken sleep, but that's improving as well... this sure takes a long time to get through!! Still pretty bad pain in all 5 spine surgery sites, but gradually fading as well. I just pray it will go away enough to get back to what life I can, really need to get back on my horses... time will tell. Have you completely pulled through? I hope so, thanks for writing back. Take care and may God Bless you.

  10. #10
    jorgemanuel33 is offline Member
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    Default Hi There

    There are some supplements that could really help you with the sleep issue n the rls look for them on this site you´ll find them easily.
    Keep busy n do the things that you love that is most important at least for me is.
    Well about me 15 months clean now, more or less, i still have some anxiety issues not anxiety to drugs now it´s like a nervous disturb you know? n some gut problems. I´ve been so long in drugs that i really don´t now if i´m normal now maybe i would be like this if i haven´t did drugs... i think i´m normal as much possible i could ever be. i don´t know if this make any sense LOL
    N sorry for my bad english.
    Hope that you still fighting this... it´s so worth it. in the bad moments think on your horses think that you´ll ride them again n you will.
    Take care Deenie

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