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Norco detox
  1. #1
    Jeanjean is offline New Member
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    Default Norco detox

    I am on day 5 of detoxing from a 7 year addiction. I started out taking vicadin for arthritis and migraines and quickly it turned to taking the pills because they helped me deal with my overwhelming life. I did quit for 1 year but I just replaced the vicadin with tramadol for that year. In the past 2 years I am ashamed to say I have lied, stole, and taken way too many pills. I even took morphine on top of the Norco for awhile ( stolen from my very sick father). I am a mother and a teacher and I liked to think a good person but I have done things I would never imagined I could do. The detox was horrible for the first 2 days and I would have taken a pill in an instant if I could have acquired any but I had nothing. I then started on Imodium and a clonidine patch. Both helped tremendously. I also asked my husband to come home, which was a huge step for me, to take care of kids and everything. I asked for his help and told him why I needed it. Only him and my mother know. Hard part for me is I feel depressed and scared to return to work Monday (I have been on spring break). I feel like I can't run my life without my pills. I miss them, I miss taking them. I don't miss what they have done to my life. I have been a bad mother, daughter, wife and friend in the last few years. My prescription will be available next Thursday and I need to write my doctor and tell him I don't want them anymore but I haven't yet. Why am I struggling so much when I know how bad it is and how hard this week has been. I feel so weak and I have no one to talk to about this that would understand.

  2. #2
    batting300 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanjean View Post
    I am on day 5 of detoxing from a 7 year addiction. I started out taking vicadin for arthritis and migraines and quickly it turned to taking the pills because they helped me deal with my overwhelming life. I did quit for 1 year but I just replaced the vicadin with tramadol for that year. In the past 2 years I am ashamed to say I have lied, stole, and taken way too many pills. I even took morphine on top of the Norco for awhile ( stolen from my very sick father). I am a mother and a teacher and I liked to think a good person but I have done things I would never imagined I could do. The detox was horrible for the first 2 days and I would have taken a pill in an instant if I could have acquired any but I had nothing. I then started on Imodium and a clonidine patch. Both helped tremendously. I also asked my husband to come home, which was a huge step for me, to take care of kids and everything. I asked for his help and told him why I needed it. Only him and my mother know. Hard part for me is I feel depressed and scared to return to work Monday (I have been on spring break). I feel like I can't run my life without my pills. I miss them, I miss taking them. I don't miss what they have done to my life. I have been a bad mother, daughter, wife and friend in the last few years. My prescription will be available next Thursday and I need to write my doctor and tell him I don't want them anymore but I haven't yet. Why am I struggling so much when I know how bad it is and how hard this week has been. I feel so weak and I have no one to talk to about this that would understand.
    You have your mother and your husband to talk to about this.

    I am so sorry for you conflict. I understand it. Just stay strong and for GODS SAKE don't go backwards and go to that Doctors appointment. I just cancelled my first doctors appointment and I know how hard that is but you can do it and you're not bad for all the things you did because of drugs. DRUGS are bad for all the bad things you did on them.

    Stop the train. You are lucky to be through the physical part of the withdrawl. If you need to take a longer spring break, do it. It will pay in the end.

    PLEASE for the sake of your family, especially daughter, don't get back on that train. You sound like a great candidate for NA so you have some people to speak to.

    In the meantime, keep posting and know there are strangers that can identify and care about you without knowing you.

    Be strong.

    And by the way, and this goes to anyone, if you need someone to speak to, I am happy to chat via phone. I am a happily married man with a daughter. I just know the NA meetings weren't for me but I met a lot of people that I talk to on the phone and that was a big help for me in lieu of the meetings.

    Keep posting and stay away! Cancel that appointnent and tell your doctor to flake off.

  3. #3
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Jeanjean this is a very tough battle but a battle that can be won. You need to be strong and give your brain time to heal. Your brain needs time to start relearning to function on its own and not using pills as a coping skill. This takes time and patients. Having work will help to keep your mind busy. Please post any time you need it.
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  4. #4
    Jeanjean is offline New Member
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    My mom and my husband wouldn't understand about the psychological part of withdrawals which is why I joined this forum. I agree about NA but I can't. Way too much to lose if anyone in community found out. The thing is I have detoxed before because I run out of pills. In fact I went 5 days in February, while on vacation with my family. It was horrible but I managed to make it through amusement parks etc for 5 days. Then I came home and as soon as I could I started again. It seems like I am constantly going through wd. Once a month or every other weekend because I run out of pills. I am in the pain mgmt program and I only get 4 per day and of course I always run out which is why I have begged, lied, borrowed and stolen. I miss being myself for me, my husband and my kids. I have 2 kids still at home ages 13 and 11. They wonder why I am always sick.

    Just being able to write this helps, no one knows all this about me. Thanks for all words of encouragement!

  5. #5
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanjean View Post
    My mom and my husband wouldn't understand about the psychological part of withdrawals which is why I joined this forum. I agree about NA but I can't. Way too much to lose if anyone in community found out. The thing is I have detoxed before because I run out of pills. In fact I went 5 days in February, while on vacation with my family. It was horrible but I managed to make it through amusement parks etc for 5 days. Then I came home and as soon as I could I started again. It seems like I am constantly going through wd. Once a month or every other weekend because I run out of pills. I am in the pain mgmt program and I only get 4 per day and of course I always run out which is why I have begged, lied, borrowed and stolen. I miss being myself for me, my husband and my kids. I have 2 kids still at home ages 13 and 11. They wonder why I am always sick.

    Just being able to write this helps, no one knows all this about me. Thanks for all words of encouragement!

    Let me ask you a few honest questions Jeanjean. Aren't you sick and tired of all the madness associated with active addiction? Haven't you had enough of ALWAYS thinking about pills/drugs? When you go to sleep at night, wake each morning, and during the entire day it's all that occupies your thoughts. Aren't you tired of lying to everyone, stealing from others, and using manipulation all in an attempt to get more pills? Have you really and truly had enough of that???

    I ask not out of disrespect or judgement because I'm an addict too, been one for nearly 18 years now. I was as bad as it gets I assure you. I robbed friends and family of all their possessions to trade/sell for drugs. I stole their money too. I lied to everyone I knew swearing I didn't use drugs. I tricked doctors and pharmacists into giving me my drugs. I went to the ER so many times they knew me on a first name basis. I can't even believe some of the things I've done. All to feed my habit. I literally had one foot in the grave due to narcotics and benzo's.

    If you answered YES to all those questions then perhaps you're ready to do something about it. First and foremost you have to WANT IT more than anything else in the world. It has to be your NUMBER ONE goal to have any chance at success, and a new, clean life free of this garbage. Second is you must do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to end the vicious cycle you're in. Your way, just like my way, simply was not working. We simply CAN NOT fight this disease alone.

    IF you're truly serious about this you need to call the pharmacy and cancel that refill you have. You need to phone the doctor, tell them your problem with narcotics and ask to nenver again prescribe them to you. Have the courage to do both of those suggestions. Inform anyone you btain pills from to never give you another one ever again.

    Reconsider going to either NA or AA meetings. Those meetings WILL save your life just as they did mine!!! There was a time you would NEVER EVER get me to a meeting. Number one I was scared out of my mind to go, and number two I felt I didn't NEED meetings. Oh how wrong I was. And I relapsed over and over and over. My way didn't ever work. Duh. I finally stepped out of my comfort zone and went. Didn't like it and left. I could go on and on, but to keep it shorter I ended up trying AA instead of NA. Same disease, same 12 steps. I found my home. Got a great sponsor who keeps me accountable and my life is completely different...for the better! I LOVE going to meetings. I have so many good, clean friends that I see FACE TO FACE and that is the difference between a place like this forum, and actually going to meetings. This forum is wonderful, it really is, but it just can't take the place of those support meetings. It can't.

    Have no worries if someone "sees you there" or recognizes you because guess what, they're there too for the very same reason as you are!!! Getting clean is the easy part of this, remaining clean is what takes the brunt of the work. Meetings will help to keep you clean after you get there!

    So what if a meeting is an hour away, I promise you it's worth it. Find one and go is my very BEST suggestion. If you don't like that one try another, or give AA a chance. I guarantee you'll be very gald you did! Take care and Stay Strong.

    -Randy
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  6. #6
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi Jean
    I too am a pill addict..
    You are going through a briefing period for the pills..
    It seems crazy but it is so true..
    They become our best friend our go to for everything..
    They are all mind and time consuming..
    With that gone there is a void..

    I wrote a good bye letter to my pills..
    Wrote everything I loved
    And
    Everything I hated and had lost..
    I still have the letter.if I ever start thinking I could take 1 or 2.
    I had made a promise to myself that after I got clean and if I ever wanted to do some recreational pill taking
    I would read the letter first.
    Then decide..
    After I reread my letter..
    That thinking quickly changes..
    I become so grateful for having gone through everything
    And
    Survived long enough to live clean and sober..
    One day at a time..
    I like Randy go to meetings..
    Never thought I would because I am a professional too..
    But the truth is I would rather someone see me at a meeting
    Than
    At a pharmacy..

    These pills are everywhere..
    There is an epidemic of pill addiction..
    You might be suprised of who you may know..
    Wouldn't you be happy to see them getting help?

    Most people that we are close enough to care what they think..
    They know something is not right..
    They might not know exactly but they know something is going on with us when we are using..
    We are
    Always sick
    Cranky
    Sleeping
    Preoccupied with something..
    You are doing the best thing possicle..
    The best gift you can give your children is a healthy happy clean mom!
    Keep posting it helps and I am sure you are giving others hope!
    I will check back later..
    Bette
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-12-2015 at 03:19 PM.
    Giants95 likes this.

  7. #7
    jeffro6527 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanjean View Post
    My mom and my husband wouldn't understand about the psychological part of withdrawals which is why I joined this forum. I agree about NA but I can't. Way too much to lose if anyone in community found out. The thing is I have detoxed before because I run out of pills. In fact I went 5 days in February, while on vacation with my family. It was horrible but I managed to make it through amusement parks etc for 5 days. Then I came home and as soon as I could I started again. It seems like I am constantly going through wd. Once a month or every other weekend because I run out of pills. I am in the pain mgmt program and I only get 4 per day and of course I always run out which is why I have begged, lied, borrowed and stolen. I miss being myself for me, my husband and my kids. I have 2 kids still at home ages 13 and 11. They wonder why I am always sick.

    Just being able to write this helps, no one knows all this about me. Thanks for all words of encouragement!
    Hi JeanJean,

    After reading your posts I would like to challenge you to think of this a little differently. Ask yourself this question. You said you have done things that you are ashamed of to get your fix right? And you also said you can not go to NA because you can not risk anyone in your community finding out? Now ask yourself this question: would you rather your community find out that you are using (because you get caught stealing, etc etc) or find out that you are in recovery? Seems like a pretty simple choice to me. The 2nd answer isn't even very realistic. The basis of NA and AA is Anonymous, meaning outside the meetings you do not talk about who else is there. I live in a tiny community and this has been a huge concern for me. My solution was to drive to meetings that are 20-30 min away. You may say thats too far? How far would you go to get a pill when you felt sick?

    This is the cunning side of addiction that trys to keep you out of recovery. Without help, its a bleak disease. You can decide to rid yourself of this addiction, but you need to be willing to make it your priority.

    You can do this. You have strength and in time I promise it will all become so clear to you what evil tricks this disease has played on your mind.

    There are so many pro's here, I am only just over a month clean myself, but having a recovery plan and the right attitude helps us.

    AN incredible book you should read TODAY is called LOVE IS LETTING GO OF FEAR. It teaches the principles of living today. That is one of the first things NA or AA will teach you. 120 pages with cartoons, super easy read... check it out!

    Ill be cheering for you!
    Your pal,
    Jeffro
    Iluv2smile likes this.

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