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Not sure what to do about my husband. Please help!
  1. #1
    fedupwife80 is offline New Member
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    Exclamation Not sure what to do about my husband. Please help!

    I'm so glad I found this place. I'm hoping someone can help me here.

    About 15 years ago my husband started taking vicodin for migraines. He didn't take it a whole lot, maybe here and there a few times a week. He complained about back/shoulder/neck pain as well and started taking more vicodin for that. I'm not sure how much he was taking but it was never more than the dose on the rx bottle. About 10 years ago (so 5 years after the migraines started) he started having this chronic pain in his arms and legs. So he began taking more meds. He switched to Norco per the pain management doc and alternates that with percocet. He's still on those 2 medications now 10 years later. As far as I am aware he doesn't take more than is prescribed to him but I think it might be 8-9 pills a day??

    Here's the thing. He admits that he's addicted to it, but he thinks he needs it for the pain. And I think the fact that he only takes the amount prescribed makes him feel like the issue isn't all *that* bad. My argument is, maybe the meds are actually CAUSING the pain. I told him, maybe his body is craving more so he's in almost a constant state of withdrawal. Is that possible or am I nuts? He says the meds at his current dose barely touch the arm/leg pain and only if he takes an extra one dose he feels better. He tries not to do that because then he runs out too quickly. We have 3 kids and this is so frustrating because he is always in paina nd always telling the kids "I'll do it when my meds kick in." It's just sad.

    I'm trying to figure out if he really needs these meds for this chronic pain/fibromyalgia/myofacial pain (it has been called all of those things but no doc seems to know for sure) or are the meds he's taking making the pain worse?

    Hope someone can offer insight. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome,

    I'm glad that you found this place too. I am not a doctor or have much medical knowledge for that matter. Wanna talk about narcotics and dependence/addiction? Yup. That I can talk about.

    Point one. You are correct. Just because he takes his pain pills as directed does not mean he's not addicted. In fact, having been at these doses for so many years, there' little to no chance that he's not addicted.

    Point two: Is it physical dependence or addiction. There are people who will argue or distinguish between the two but I'm not one of them. The habit and physical aspects are exactly the same. The battle to get off of them, exactly the same. The test would be if he managed to get off everything and to see if he craves them or misses whatever it is that they do for him, aside from the obvious. Pain pills are just not intended for long term treatment. They're just not.

    Point three: Maybe more than point three because I'm about to go off and running but I'm going to do my best to address what I can for you. You are...wait for it....right again! At least some of his discomfort is likely attributable to being either in or on the edge of being in withdrawal. Meds wearing off =need more medicine. There is a very simple fact with narcotics and it doesn't vary. Your tolerance WILL go up and you WILL need more or stronger narcotics. It's progressive. Period. It's not that it probably will happen. It does.

    Added to this is again something real called "rebound pain". This isn't only caused by narcotics. It can be caused by frequent use of aspirin. Use your web browser and you can read more facts about this. So...you're right again!

    I am a recovering opiate addict (6 years!). I know more about this than I wish I did so that's why I continue to hang out here. No sense wasting it, right? Without even having to finish reading your post, I saw the red flags all over the place as you explained his progression to where he is now. Vicodin for this, then for that, then for another thing. I'm not being critical. I was him. Unfortunately, there are things that are all but impossible to diagnose. Fibro, for instance is defined as widespread unexplained pain. More recently, they attribute it to nerve pain but it's not like having a broken leg that they can do an x-ray and look at the problem. The diagnosis is made by connecting the dots and relying upon what the patient tells them. Same thing for myofascial pain. Does he do regular physical therapy or has he tried injections for that? Doesn't help, right? The short answer is yes I believe that at least some of his pain is exacerbated by the prolonged use of pain pills. Is the diagnosis legit? I can't tell you that.

    What I can tell you is that the only way to really determine what his real pain level is is to detox completely off the pain meds (no fun, take it from me) and give it a couple of weeks. I used pain meds for almost 20 years. Started innocently enough with some real medical issues but after a while, I knew that I was milking it because it turned out I liked the pills. Once I got clean and gave it a few weeks, I discovered that I can get relief from over the counter stuff and I am in LESS pain. Aside from assuring you that you aren't being a b*tch, this information is not going to do you much good.

    Does your husband work? I cringed when you wrote that he tells the kids that he has to wait for his meds to kick in. That breaks my heart. How old are they? This is a really tough situation for you and you have my sympathy. I hate that I put my family through some of these very same things. I'm thinking that based upon the tone of your post, this is a really sticky subject for the both of you and there's not much you can do about it, I'm afraid. You can't help someone quit and you can't make them want to quit. I'm sure you know all of stuff about enabling, tough love, and all the rest of it I'm not even going to give you advice on what you should or can do. I think you know the choices and none of them are easy. You may do something when you are ready. If you want pointers on that, I'd be more than happy to give you some. For now, from what you say I can tell that you have a pretty good handle on what's going on. I do think about your kids having to live with this because I know first hand how it effects them.

    I hope this helped even just a little. I know you didn't sign up for this and now you have to deal with it. Read around this Forum some. It can be a real eye opener.

    Peace,

    Cat.

  3. #3
    fedupwife80 is offline New Member
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    Thanks Cat. I appreciate your reply so much. It helps to know that I'm not just a horrible person. For the past 3 years I have been on the verge of leaving him. But he tells me that I'm only leaving him because he has "medical problems" and he's got "chronic pain". So, then I feel guilty. I feel like I am a bad person if I leave someone because they have whatever he has. The fact is that he's not the same person he used to be. He does hold down a decent job, but when he's not at work he lays around in bed watching TV a lot. He says it's because he's hurting. I have to nag quite a bit to get him up and moving to do things with me and the kids. He's very irritable and he goes from nice to snippy very quickly (I guess from the med wearing off). To answer your question, our kids are 16, 10 and 3.

    I'm sure he's scared to try to get off of them. He thinks without them he'll just have 24/7 unbearable pain and won't be able to go to work or do anything. So although life sucks now, he thinks it'll be worse without the pain meds. I don't know. I'm just lost. This isn't really how I imagined my life turning out. When I tell him that he says, "well imagine how it is to me me, the one who actually has the pain!" I'm still rather young (mid 30's) and I hate to think of spending the rest of my life with someone who is like this. Addicted to pain pills and laying around all the time. But then again, i feel guilty and say to myself well, maybe he really needs them. Maybe he has fibro or something. Ugh.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-05-2016 at 07:39 PM.

  4. #4
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Oh boy. This is addict manipulation at its finest. You are mean and don't understand how he feels. Happy to snippy to happy. Classic! Yep. This guy has a problem whether he wants to admit it or not. Trust me, he has no clue what his real pain level is at this point. He can't. No way.

    What a hard place to be for you and you are still so young. I can't and won't tell you what you should do but what I can tell you that if your unhappy moments add up to more than your happy ones that's a problem. You didn't say but does he go to physical therapy and/or has he tried injections? There are other options out there and he should be willing to try them. If he's not, then that answers a lot of questions, doesn't it.

    You're not a b*tch!!! And though he's in pain, this isn't making your life a fairy tale. Maybe the place to start is to insist he look for alternatives to treat his pain. Ask questions and do some research online to see what else might work and then approach him with the info and see how it is received. We can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. It is possible to live without pain pills. After 6 years clean, I had back surgery a little over 2 weeks ago. I instructed them NO IV pain meds in the recovery room. I wanted to assess my own pain level. I took only Tylenol in the hospital and I was discharged with a big ole bottle of oxy. I took 2 pills total and not at the same time. I had some discomfort but nothing that Tylenol wasn't able to take care of. True story.

    Peace,

    Cat

  5. #5
    fedupwife80 is offline New Member
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    He used to get cortisone injections for his shoulder but that's all. Is there another type of injection I don't know about? I'm sure he'd be open to that. They have told him to go to PT but he never stuck with it. He's gone maybe two or 3 times in all these years.

  6. #6
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    I'm not sure but I think it is cortisone that they inject, as least for the muscular part of his problems. PT would help that immensely too! Heating pads, professional massage and an anti-inflammatory provide the most relief. Myofascial syndrome is muscle spasms/tightening and the heat and massage will loosen them up. This is one of his issues, I think. He'd rather try to mask the pain instead of treating it to get relief.

    There's a variety of things his doctor can try for the fibro. Gabapentin treats nerve pain and is non-addictive. I've had that for my sciatica and it helps--A LOT! They are saying that things like Cymbalta work too. There are options. I would look at it this way. He says he is in constant and severe pain--even on the pain killers so that means it's not working. In my opinion if what he wants is pain relief, then he should be haunting the doctors to find a treatment that will relieve the pain, not mask it. Doesn't this make more sense?

    Peace,

    Cat
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-05-2016 at 09:31 PM.

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    fedupwife80 is offline New Member
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    I know he is open to getting off the pills and wants to but how? He said he'd have to take time off work and be miserable withdrawing for a couple weeks. So that's what he's afraid of. What are the options to detox? Is methadone a good option or will that just leave us with a new problem? It would be really nice to wait until he's better before I decide the fate of the marriage. *sigh*

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    Hello Fed Up,

    Don't like to call you that but that is all I have to go by at this point. Lots of points to address from you prior post(s) but Cat has really touched on pretty much everything. Her insight is point on. I would like to address two key things. The first being the pain levels on which those on opiates deal with. With prior back surgery and a re-herniated disc after surgery I was once again put back on Oxy's. At my pain's peak I was at 9 out of 10 in the pain scale and needed them, with in a matter of 3 months my dose increased and then again 3 months later. During this time I had three injections (cortisone). My dose increased and so did my pain. The brain is funny. It and I loved the feeling opiates gave me. It took away the pain mainly because of the feelings of euphoria it produced. I ended up finishing scripts early and turned to other places to find them until the new one. My doctor cut me off and said he was referring me to a pain management doctor of which none would see me because I was already on medications, needless to say I turned to street market until they were unattainable and I turned to my PCP. When I met with him, he shared his story of his struggles with opiates for a neck surgery and told me that the brain plays tricks on us and that my back pain would likely decrease once off the opiates. Well, I didn't believe him and turned back to the streets even though he set me up with a taper schedule. Two months later and dumb money spent, I decided it was time to get off. I'm 30 days clean today and you know. What my doctor told me was SPOT ON!!! My back pain is less now than it was on the opiates, WAY BETTER! During detox, my pain levels were very high, because my brains receptors were searching for that oxy they had for so long. After about a week it dissipated.

    The second point is in reference to your husbands agitation and short fuse. When I was on the pills, my temper, reactions to small things was way off kilter! I was a walking ticking bomb. The pills had that effect on me. A constant state of agitation which is a documented side effect of the pain pills. While it could be a sign of withdrawal it is also a side effect.

    I hope you and he both find peace. I hope the pills don't ruin what you have together. The detox will not require weeks off of work. I found that work actually helped me through the process I returned to work on day 4 and had to fake it until I could make it. After the first 5 days (acute withdrawl) the physical part is mostly over. If he can taper that would be best. Perhaps you could take control of his pills and that would keep him in check. I couldn't taper, my wife tried to help and I just kept some of the pills or figured out ways to get others on my own, that is the addiction! I ended up going cold turkey off a habit of about 90-120 mg of oxycodone daily. It can be done, he just has to be the one who wants to do it. It can't be your choice, it MUST be his!

    RJ

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    fedupwife80 is offline New Member
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    Thank you so much RJ!!

    -Becky

  10. #10
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Good Morning,

    NO METHADONE!!!! Of the options, this is the poorest one in my opinion. I've never taken it, but I've been around here long enough to see what meth does. They call it liquid handcuffs. Says it all, right. This is even more addictive and harder to get off of than any pill he takes.

    The first choice would be to taper but I think it also has the lowest success rate. It takes a ton of self discipline even if you have someone dispensing the pills. We find ways to supplement if we have to--RJ can attest to that and so can I by the way. It's a slow process and most often has you in almost a constant state of mild withdrawal. I was never able to make it past a few hours let alone weeks. As soon as I knew I had to take less that particular day, my mind went into overdrive and I'd promptly gobble everything I had and I'd tell myself I would just go cold turkey instead. Then I'd get the script filled as soon as it was ready. People have done it, but man it's tough.

    Cold turkey. I'm all about cold turkey and people who know me around here know this. I had never heard of suboxone until I found this site over 6 years ago and I'm kinda glad I didn't. I'm pretty sure I would have been one of those people who listened to the doctor's instructions, taken insanely high doses and be in even deeper. At any rate, I am a strong proponent for just getting it done. It's doable. Fun. Not so much but definitely doable and it's the quickest way to the end. Do you know how many mg/day your husband takes of of what? My use wasn't too shabby up to as much as 180 mg/day at my worst and I got through cold turkey. Actually I got through it plenty of times. The difference this time is that I was mentally prepared and I did my recovery work. THAT's the hard part but more on that later. The acute symptoms and time it takes is very predictable. 5 days. Aches, diarrhea, restless legs and sometimes arms, inability to sleep. Some people have bouts of vomiting. I never did and I think it's save to say that most people do not. Feels much like a bad flu. What's mixed into this for an addict is that we know that if we had one pill we'd be all better in 15 minutes and we have to fight to not obsess about that. By Day 5 or 6, almost all of the physical stuff will be over quite suddenly and what remains is trouble sleeping and lack of energy. You feel like you just got over a bad case of the flu. From there you control what you can and accept what you can't. Exercise helps to build up your strength again and gets the feel good brain chemicals firing. You can find the Thomas Recipe here that is a list of over the counter vitamins and supplements that can be used to treat some of the symptoms. Immodium for the bathroom issues is a must and does a good job. The recipe also includes a benzo but we always suggest avoiding them if you can unless you've already been taking them. It can be dangerous to stop them suddenly and they are addictive. If he does decide he needs them, limit them and only use them during the first 5 days when the symptoms are acute and then leave them behind. Getting back to natural sleep patterns can be hard but you have to just tough it out until it returns.

    Suboxone Therapy. A life saver for many. Undoubtedly if done correctly the least painful way of doing this. The key is to find a sub doctor to get the script and then completely ignore their instructions. This is absolutely against everything we are taught but in this case it's the most important. They prescribe at hellishly high doses often times as much as 16, 24, or even 32mg a day and will even tell you not to attempt to taper. The good news is that staying close to this Forum will have him on a beginning dose of probably 4mg or even less per day to start with. Following the plan that is tried is true it will have your husband completely off the sub in 6-8 weeks. There are people who take longer and that's OK but the point is that it can be done. There is a sticky to this Forum with Robert's Sub Taper Plan. You can find it and it will explain the process that is used here. If he wants to do it this way, there are people here that will walk him through the process from start to finish. No need to miss work and almost no down time.

    I might even suggest that you ask him to come and read some threads here. There is so much support and inspiration that it just might be the thing to motivate him to try and do this. There is a way out and in fact more than one way but it has to be his choice from deciding that he wants to and how he wants to do it.

    Keep us posted. We'd love to help.

    Peace,

    Cat

  11. #11
    fedupwife80 is offline New Member
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    I talked to him about this last night. He definitely wants to get off the pills but he (understandably) doesn't want the withdrawals. I'm not sure if he'll ever actually do it. I told him to join this forum and he didn't seem interested. I'm not feeling that hopeful.
    I forgot to mention that he also drinks (not a lot but still) with the pills. Isn't that dangerous? He puts himself to sleep. I'm not even comfortable leaving my 3 year old with him and going anywhere because he falls asleep.

  12. #12
    LifeSaver77 is offline Member
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    Oh, you poor thing. Many of us who has used and abused get so caught up in our own stuff, that we never truly see the damage we cause others. If nothing else, your story illustrates how drug abuse hurts so many... I am so sorry for what his abuse is putting you through.

    I just went through WD of a Norco habit. Let me tell you - people don't die from withdrawal - they die from using. Your husbands reason for not wanting to get clean isn't a legitimate one. Sure, WD isn't a picnic, but it's also only a few days. Every clean former addict here feels the discomfort was worth sobriety. WD isn't like what you see in movies. You aren't spending continual days vomiting and fetal on the bathroom floor moaning - it's just not how it is. Ya, he'll feel wonky for a few days, but I think his impression is grossly exaggerated.

    Or, more likely - it's what he's using as his excuse to not get clean.

    Your husband is an addict, and sadly, not one who wants to get clean at the moment. I get migraines, and I can tell you that vic's don't help, so, poo on the doc for giving him addictive pain meds for an issue that isn't well-treated with opiates. Also, I strongly suspect the pain that's migrated isn't real, but an effect of the long-term opiate use. I think you'd both be surprised that once he gets clean, the body pain will dissipate.

    I see it as you have a few choices here - 1) continue to live with things as they are, understanding his usage will only progressively get worse, 2) give him an ultimatum, and stick to it. If you're ready to end the marriage, and I don't blame you in the least, then let him know he has one path to save his family, and save himself. And if he chooses to continue to use, then you'll walk knowing your did the right thing for your sanity, and for the safety of your children.
    Catrina likes this.

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    fedupwife80 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LifeSaver77 View Post
    Oh, you poor thing. Many of us who has used and abused get so caught up in our own stuff, that we never truly see the damage we cause others. If nothing else, your story illustrates how drug abuse hurts so many... I am so sorry for what his abuse is putting you through.

    I just went through WD of a Norco habit. Let me tell you - people don't die from withdrawal - they die from using. Your husbands reason for not wanting to get clean isn't a legitimate one. Sure, WD isn't a picnic, but it's also only a few days. Every clean former addict here feels the discomfort was worth sobriety. WD isn't like what you see in movies. You aren't spending continual days vomiting and fetal on the bathroom floor moaning - it's just not how it is. Ya, he'll feel wonky for a few days, but I think his impression is grossly exaggerated.

    Or, more likely - it's what he's using as his excuse to not get clean.

    Your husband is an addict, and sadly, not one who wants to get clean at the moment. I get migraines, and I can tell you that vic's don't help, so, poo on the doc for giving him addictive pain meds for an issue that isn't well-treated with opiates. Also, I strongly suspect the pain that's migrated isn't real, but an effect of the long-term opiate use. I think you'd both be surprised that once he gets clean, the body pain will dissipate.

    I see it as you have a few choices here - 1) continue to live with things as they are, understanding his usage will only progressively get worse, 2) give him an ultimatum, and stick to it. If you're ready to end the marriage, and I don't blame you in the least, then let him know he has one path to save his family, and save himself. And if he chooses to continue to use, then you'll walk knowing your did the right thing for your sanity, and for the safety of your children.
    Thanks so much for your insight. It's funny to realize this but I think I was in denial myself. I'm just recently coming to really understand that he has a problem. For the longest time I just thought he had fibromyalgia and had to take pain meds for it. According to him that's what he thought (and still thinks) as well. He's pretty convinced that after WD is all over, he'll be left with the pain (fibro or whatever) and no pain meds for it, therefore an even worse situation than he's in now. I'm not sure he's at all convinced there's a light at the end of the tunnel at all, and I think that could stop him from trying.

    It's hard not to say, well it could be worse. He could be taking 20 a day instead of 8. He could be unemployed. He could be spending thousands on it. But it's still not ok. How many norco do people die from? That only happens if you take a bunch, no?

    Edit: Another question. You said WD only takes a few days. He has 3 day weekends. Will he be able to go back to work on day 4 or is that pushing it? He works at a refinery and has a physical job.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-06-2016 at 05:04 PM.

  14. #14
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Three or four days is pushing it. He will likely feel much better on or about Day 5 but will be weak and tired. Honestly, he is going to have to be fully committed to this. It doesn't sound to me that he is yet. We've all been there. We look for and use any reason to not stop. A sign of being fully committed is when he wants to get clean in spite of not knowing his pain level once he's done. Being clean and working your recovery has to become your number 1 priority. It's hard.

    I think that your work needs to be to concentrate on figuring out what's best for you and your children. I know all about the guilt that you feel and maybe that's a part of why you are looking here for understanding. I can certainly validate for you that you're not being unreasonable nor asking for something that your family doesn't deserve.

    Educating yourself as best you can is a big step in the right direction. Even over the past couple of days I think that without us even knowing your husband, we are able to quickly guess his behavior. That's because we've been there and we're not different except that most of us here are in recovery or trying our best to be in recovery. Took me years to want it bad enough to get where I am today.. We'll support you and answer any questions you have that we can. You'll figure out what's best for your family. All of this just has to settle in. Hope you stick around here.

    Peace,

    Cat

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    fedupwife80 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    Three or four days is pushing it. He will likely feel much better on or about Day 5 but will be weak and tired. Honestly, he is going to have to be fully committed to this. It doesn't sound to me that he is yet. We've all been there. We look for and use any reason to not stop. A sign of being fully committed is when he wants to get clean in spite of not knowing his pain level once he's done. Being clean and working your recovery has to become your number 1 priority. It's hard.

    I think that your work needs to be to concentrate on figuring out what's best for you and your children. I know all about the guilt that you feel and maybe that's a part of why you are looking here for understanding. I can certainly validate for you that you're not being unreasonable nor asking for something that your family doesn't deserve.

    Educating yourself as best you can is a big step in the right direction. Even over the past couple of days I think that without us even knowing your husband, we are able to quickly guess his behavior. That's because we've been there and we're not different except that most of us here are in recovery or trying our best to be in recovery. Took me years to want it bad enough to get where I am today.. We'll support you and answer any questions you have that we can. You'll figure out what's best for your family. All of this just has to settle in. Hope you stick around here.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Yeah, I hear you. I guess I'm not sure what is best for me and the kids yet. He's a functional addict. He holds down a job, etc. I don't think the kids really understand it yet. They know dad has "pain problems" and has to take medicine for it but that's all they know. I'm looking into seeing a therapist myself to talk about this. It's hard for me to look at the situation objectively and say what the best thing to do would be.

  16. #16
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Seeing a therapist is a great start. That will only help you. I know sometimes all it takes is for me to get talking and I begin to verbalize thoughts I didn't even know I had. Kind of like letting the dam go and out it pours. Keep on that and get in to see someone. If you don't connect, try someone else. Sometimes it takes a few tries before you find someone you can connect with. Don't give up on this. You need to find your way.

    Peace,

    Cat

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    fedupwife80 is offline New Member
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    People are telling me I'm cruel to ask my poor husband with fibro to quit taking pain pills. See this is why I question myself and feel guilty.

  18. #18
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Of course they are. They aren't living your life. Who are "people"? His friends and family?

    Peace,

    Cat

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    LifeSaver77 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by fedupwife80 View Post
    Thanks so much for your insight. It's funny to realize this but I think I was in denial myself. I'm just recently coming to really understand that he has a problem. For the longest time I just thought he had fibromyalgia and had to take pain meds for it. According to him that's what he thought (and still thinks) as well. He's pretty convinced that after WD is all over, he'll be left with the pain (fibro or whatever) and no pain meds for it, therefore an even worse situation than he's in now. I'm not sure he's at all convinced there's a light at the end of the tunnel at all, and I think that could stop him from trying.

    It's hard not to say, well it could be worse. He could be taking 20 a day instead of 8. He could be unemployed. He could be spending thousands on it. But it's still not ok. How many norco do people die from? That only happens if you take a bunch, no?

    Edit: Another question. You said WD only takes a few days. He has 3 day weekends. Will he be able to go back to work on day 4 or is that pushing it? He works at a refinery and has a physical job.
    Well, maybe after WD he will still have body pain, and if he does, there are many non-narcotic options to treat it. I take diclofenac, which is like a strong 24-hour anti-inflammatory, and I also have a script for zanaflex, which is a muscle relaxer, which also works wonders. There are also numerous nerve pain meds that he can try. Point is, body pain can be treated by other methods, though I suspect once clean, he won't have pain. Plus, being relatively sedentary as he is causes pain within itself.

    I get that he's a functioning addict - most pill addicts are quite high functioning, actually - maintain jobs, get promotions, have relationships, travel, exercise, use only from scripts and don't buy street drugs...to many outsiders, they would have no idea the person was an addict. But, they do it all through a bit of a haze - some days thicker than others, but always blunted. The biggest thing a sober addict will remark about is how clear their thinking is once clean. That kinda says it all.

    How many does he need to take to OD? Gosh, that's unanswerable. I'm sure you're aware that more people die in the US these days from pill overdoses than they do from street drugs. When a >>>>>> addict OD's, it's because the opiates suppress the respiratory system, and they simply stop breathing. ALL opiates affect respiration. When I first started taking them for cramps, I couldn't take more than one 5 mg pill in a day, as they made it hard for me to breathe. Plus, if your DH is washing down pills with booze, that's also a potentially lethal combo. Thing is about ODing, you can never tell what it will take. An addict could take the same dose every day for years and be fine. But, one day the body's chemistry just isn't having it and gives out.

  20. #20
    LifeSaver77 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by fedupwife80 View Post
    People are telling me I'm cruel to ask my poor husband with fibro to quit taking pain pills. See this is why I question myself and feel guilty.
    I don't know much about fibro, but I just checked out the mayo clinic site for fibro treatment options, and they specifically call out to NOT use narcotics, as they create dependence and worsen the pain over time. They do list a whole bunch of other options, however.

    So, I still maintain your DH's whole argument is baseless, and if he does genuinely have fibro and body pain, he's not treating it properly anyway.

    Please understand I'm on day 7 of being clean from a long-time Norco addiction. I was put on them for a legitimate and severely painful back injury. But, the body heals, and mine did, and thank heavens my doctor decided to take me off them. She felt I was on them too long, and that I started complaining about pain in areas that didn't make sense, so she wanted me to go off to see how my pain was. And here I am, relatively pain-free, moving in ways I haven't in years, and doing it all without the pills. She was right.

    Like Cat said, whomever these "people" are that are guilting you don't know what you live with and what your life is like.

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    fedupwife80 is offline New Member
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    Thank you so so much. You have no idea how I appreciate your insight. Yes friends are telling me I'm cruel to expect him to stop and that if he's taking the dosage listed on the rx bottle then he's not an addict. Ugh.

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    LifeSaver77 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by fedupwife80 View Post
    Thank you so so much. You have no idea how I appreciate your insight. Yes friends are telling me I'm cruel to expect him to stop and that if he's taking the dosage listed on the rx bottle then he's not an addict. Ugh.
    I never took more than my script, either. I never bought street drugs, never bummed them from friends...I took what the pharmacy doled out.

    I was still an addict.

    Responses like those you're getting is damaging, but FWIW, my Mom said the same thing to me. I told her last night how ashamed I was by all of this, and she said I had no reason to be, as I was taking a prescription. A doctors note doesn't preclude addiction, but I do get that folks not familiar with addiction will think this. Heck, I used it to rationalize my use as well. I mean, doctor knows best, right? (Not always...).
    Catrina and fedupwife80 like this.

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