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Only 20 hours in and ready to die
  1. #1
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Default Only 20 hours in and ready to die

    I've been taking Percocet for at least a year. 3-4 a day. I've got to stop this insanity. This early in and I'm struggling to even type this. Hand,fingers, legs all uncoordinated. Stomach feels like it's eating itself. Back and neck are killing me. Last month I spent 500.00 on this mess. No one knows of my addiction so it's hard trying to hide that I am dying. Husband will be home tonight until next week so he's gonna see the worst of it. I think I am going to tell him I am stopping an antidepressant. Maybe that will explain some of my craziness. Guys, I need some moral support. The tears are about to start to flow like the pounding rain I hear outside my door. HELP ME.
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  2. #2
    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolnluv View Post
    I've been taking Percocet for at least a year. 3-4 a day. I've got to stop this insanity. This early in and I'm struggling to even type this. Hand,fingers, legs all uncoordinated. Stomach feels like it's eating itself. Back and neck are killing me. Last month I spent 500.00 on this mess. No one knows of my addiction so it's hard trying to hide that I am dying. Husband will be home tonight until next week so he's gonna see the worst of it. I think I am going to tell him I am stopping an antidepressant. Maybe that will explain some of my craziness. Guys, I need some moral support. The tears are about to start to flow like the pounding rain I hear outside my door. HELP ME.
    I understand Lincolnluv. I've been there. Don't give up. I was taking Percocet too for a couple years due to pain conditions only about 4 pills a day like you. I thought I was going to die when I stopped. But I told my husband the truth & it was the best thing. He was mad at first but I needed that support at home. It's hard enough to get through the w/d symptoms but without any support at home it's really hard!! Think about it. You decide what to do. it's going to be at least 5-6 days of hard feeling/symptoms. The anxiety can last a couple weeks & lack of sleep is really rough too so be prepared but YOU CAN DO IT!!! Look up the Thomas recipe.. on another thread I know they have shown it. Vitamins,& other supplements will help. Get lots of water, or Gatorade. You will get through this. It seems like forever, but it's not. A few weeks from now you will fell so much better!
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  3. #3
    Prettytony is offline Junior Member
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    First and foremost welcome to the forum. You will find all the support, knowledge and encouragement you could possibly ask for. Secondly, everything you are experiencing is 100% normal, and expected abruptly stopping an opiate addiction. Although you feel like your going to die or may even welcome it at this point, you will not and this too shall pass, guaranteed. When u say 3/4 Percocet a day how many milligrams are we talking? Is this the 1st time you've been through withdrawal? And I totally understand how hard it is to log on, read, compose your thoughts and type out a post when your in the midst of w/d. Post as you can, others will be by to help you out soon

  4. #4
    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    Also, I have recently told other family members & am surprised but happy by all the support I've gotten. It started with my husband & now my sister is my biggest cheerleader. The forum here has also helped me so much! Keep reading & posting. Look at some of the posts & backstories from ones that have posted a long time. Very encouraging & shows if they have done so can you!! Take a deep breath, & know it will be ok. You are here. People will help you & you will receive much inspiration and upbeat words! I will look up the Thomas recipe & post for you soon.
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  5. #5
    Prettytony is offline Junior Member
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    I agree w Autumn, come clean to your husband, get it over with, let him vent, get his feelings out, then you won't have to keep lying, you both can be on the same page, and move forward together in this battle
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  6. #6
    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Autumnhopes View Post
    Also, I have recently told other family members & am surprised but happy by all the support I've gotten. It started with my husband & now my sister is my biggest cheerleader. The forum here has also helped me so much! Keep reading & posting. Look at some of the posts & backstories from ones that have posted a long time. Very encouraging & shows if they have done so can you!! Take a deep breath, & know it will be ok. You are here. People will help you & you will receive much inspiration and upbeat words! I will look up the Thomas recipe & post for you soon.
    Check it out & let me know what you think...
    Here's the link for the:: Thomas Recipe for Opiate Withdrawal - https://www.drugs.com/forum/featured...wal-35169.html
    You can use all the items in the Thomas Recipe except for the benzos. Benzos are very addictive and they can become a problem very quickly so it's best to avoid them all together!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 08-15-2017 at 05:30 PM.
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  7. #7
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Thanks so much. I understand the importance of having home support but there is no way I can tell him about this. I absolutely hate myself right now. I am trying to drink lots of water. Only thing I'm able to eat is raisin cream pies. I read the Thomas recipe. I'm gonna try to force myself to leave the house and obtain some of those supplies. I got hooked because a year ago I feel out of my attic onto my head which jammed my neck and back all up. I was prescribed Percocet. Then my dog was diagnosed with diabetes. This little guy has been my shadow for 13 years. So in dealing with pain and the illness in my little sweetie I started throwing back the Percocet to be able to function. I already have bad depression and anxiety issues. I will try to write more later, as I am in tears at this moments. Thanks for your words and support. It really means everything to me.
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  8. #8
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prettytony View Post
    First and foremost welcome to the forum. You will find all the support, knowledge and encouragement you could possibly ask for. Secondly, everything you are experiencing is 100% normal, and expected abruptly stopping an opiate addiction. Although you feel like your going to die or may even welcome it at this point, you will not and this too shall pass, guaranteed. When u say 3/4 Percocet a day how many milligrams are we talking? Is this the 1st time you've been through withdrawal? And I totally understand how hard it is to log on, read, compose your thoughts and type out a post when your in the midst of w/d. Post as you can, others will be by to help you out soon
    Mg wise was 30-40mg a day. I had the 10 mg strength. A big thanks for responding.

  9. #9
    Ricky71 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Autumnhopes View Post
    Also, I have recently told other family members & am surprised but happy by all the support I've gotten. It started with my husband & now my sister is my biggest cheerleader. The forum here has also helped me so much! Keep reading & posting. Look at some of the posts & backstories from ones that have posted a long time. Very encouraging & shows if they have done so can you!! Take a deep breath, & know it will be ok. You are here. People will help you & you will receive much inspiration and upbeat words! I will look up the Thomas recipe & post for you soon.
    Autumn - Lincolnluv already has the info and link for the Thomas Recipe. Here's a link to her original thread -
    https://www.drugs.com/forum/pain-kil...wal-73492.html

    Lincolnkuv - I see you started a new thread here, it's best to stay on one thread because it keeps all your information in one place and it makes it easier for members to follow you and keep up to speed with everything! If you want to stay on this thread now then that is perfectly fine, just don't update the other one anymore and it will eventually just keep falling deeper back behind any new threads that get posted in that forum. Stay the course, things will get better in a few days so hang in there! Best of luck to you. God bless us all!
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  10. #10
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prettytony View Post
    I agree w Autumn, come clean to your husband, get it over with, let him vent, get his feelings out, then you won't have to keep lying, you both can be on the same page, and move forward together in this battle
    I can't. I just really can't. There's a reason why.
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  11. #11
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricky71 View Post
    Autumn - Lincolnluv already has the info and link for the Thomas Recipe. Here's a link to her original thread -
    https://www.drugs.com/forum/pain-kil...wal-73492.html

    Lincolnkuv - I see you started a new thread here, it's best to stay on one thread because it keeps all your information in one place and it makes it easier for members to follow you and keep up to speed with everything! If you want to stay on this thread now then that is perfectly fine, just don't update the other one anymore and it will eventually just keep falling deeper back behind any new threads that get posted in that forum. Stay the course, things will get better in a few days so hang in there! Best of luck to you. God bless us all!
    Yes, I posted yesterday on that forum without researching first to see if there was any traffic on that one. I came on today and looked here and saw this one was more alive. And I need more alive right now. I won't respond onto the other post. Yesterday, I was more alert and thinking more clearly when I posted there too. At this point nothing is really making sense to me. I'm surprised I am still able to make logical sentences.

  12. #12
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prettytony View Post
    First and foremost welcome to the forum. You will find all the support, knowledge and encouragement you could possibly ask for. Secondly, everything you are experiencing is 100% normal, and expected abruptly stopping an opiate addiction. Although you feel like your going to die or may even welcome it at this point, you will not and this too shall pass, guaranteed. When u say 3/4 Percocet a day how many milligrams are we talking? Is this the 1st time you've been through withdrawal? And I totally understand how hard it is to log on, read, compose your thoughts and type out a post when your in the midst of w/d. Post as you can, others will be by to help you out soon

    This is my third attempt. I've only been able to make it to my second day before bailing out.

  13. #13
    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolnluv View Post
    I can't. I just really can't. There's a reason why.
    If you want to talk about that reason this is a safe judgment-free place... but you obviously don't have to. Getting well & getting freedom from the drugs that hold on to us is the most important thing. One day at a time. Sometimes it's one moment at a time. And that's ok. Don't blame yourself, it's time to move forward to freedom. You can do it. Believe me, if I can do it, you can. I've suffered through so many panic attacks & depression through the years. Coming from years of abuse as a child the Percocet seemed to lighten up the load of anxiety & depression. But it doesn't, it secretly makes it worse. Now we feel the effects when we get off. But a few weeks from now you be surprised how amazing you will feel. Like you are years younger & more able to deal with life. Because you are dealing with life. Not sweeping it under the carpet. There are painful moments but the laughter is longer & sweeter... I'm saying all this to really say: There is so much hope. So much hope. Reach out for it.
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  14. #14
    Prettytony is offline Junior Member
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    If it's better to lie to your husband than tell the truth I believe you. You know him better. I don't envy his situation whatsoever but here we are focused on getting you clean and your life back. Do you not get a prescription anymore or are you out early?
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  15. #15
    Ricky71 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolnluv View Post
    Yes, I posted yesterday on that forum without researching first to see if there was any traffic on that one. I came on today and looked here and saw this one was more alive. And I need more alive right now. I won't respond onto the other post. Yesterday, I was more alert and thinking more clearly when I posted there too. At this point nothing is really making sense to me. I'm surprised I am still able to make logical sentences.
    No worries. You're in the very early stages of detox, the worst of the physical withdrawals will be over around day five or so, keep reminding yourself of that, this is only temporary! Drink lots of water and Gatorade. Take in as much potassium and protein as you can, avoid red meat for a few weeks, protein shakes are great if you're having a hard time eating solid foods? You'll also want to avoid caffeine and sugar for at least the first couple of weeks of recovery! Stay strong and stay positive! God bless us all!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 06-29-2017 at 12:11 PM.
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  16. #16
    Prettytony is offline Junior Member
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    That came off harsh I apologize. As a man who
    Has had the wool pulled over me by my gf I have a soft spot for the husband in the dark who thinks everything is hunky dory or is confused as to why his wife is acting a certain way. But trust me I'm an ex pill addict b4 anything else. And my allegiance will always be w the suffering addict. I know you can do it
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  17. #17
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prettytony View Post
    If it's better to lie to your husband than tell the truth I believe you. You know him better. I don't envy his situation whatsoever but here we are focused on getting you clean and your life back. Do you not get a prescription anymore or are you out early?

    I've been buying from a friend. I'm not out. I have three staring at me. See, I can't tell my husband because my best friend sells to me.

  18. #18
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prettytony View Post
    That came off harsh I apologize. As a man who
    Has had the wool pulled over me by my gf I have a soft spot for the husband in the dark who thinks everything is hunky dory or is confused as to why his wife is acting a certain way. But trust me I'm an ex pill addict b4 anything else. And my allegiance will always be w the suffering addict. I know you can do it

    It's fine. I didn't even realize you were a man.

  19. #19
    Ricky71 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolnluv View Post
    I've been buying from a friend. I'm not out. I have three staring at me. See, I can't tell my husband because my best friend sells to me.
    Flush those 3 pills right now! If your best friend is really a "best friend" then tell him/her that you are done with the pills and not to give you anymore no matter what under any circumstance! A best friend will understand and respect your wishes! You have to cut off all access to the pills or you'll be setting yourself up for failure! You can do it but you have to want this more than anything else in the world! Do you?
    Last edited by Anonymous; 06-29-2017 at 12:50 PM.

  20. #20
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Autumnhopes View Post
    If you want to talk about that reason this is a safe judgment-free place... but you obviously don't have to. Getting well & getting freedom from the drugs that hold on to us is the most important thing. One day at a time. Sometimes it's one moment at a time. And that's ok. Don't blame yourself, it's time to move forward to freedom. You can do it. Believe me, if I can do it, you can. I've suffered through so many panic attacks & depression through the years. Coming from years of abuse as a child the Percocet seemed to lighten up the load of anxiety & depression. But it doesn't, it secretly makes it worse. Now we feel the effects when we get off. But a few weeks from now you be surprised how amazing you will feel. Like you are years younger & more able to deal with life. Because you are dealing with life. Not sweeping it under the carpet. There are painful moments but the laughter is longer & sweeter... I'm saying all this to really say: There is so much hope. So much hope. Reach out for it.

    My best friend is my dealer.

  21. #21
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    I've had a talk with her. She's knows how badly I need and want to quit. For this reason we are staying away from one another until I'm stronger.

  22. #22
    Ricky71 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolnluv View Post
    I've had a talk with her. She's knows how badly I need and want to quit. For this reason we are staying away from one another until I'm stronger.
    Good for you! Now flush the last three pills! And always remember - "One pill is too many and a thousand pills will never be enough"!!!
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  23. #23
    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolnluv View Post
    I've had a talk with her. She's knows how badly I need and want to quit. For this reason we are staying away from one another until I'm stronger.
    That's wonderful. If you really take advantage of this forum you can do it. I'm on my way & feeling good. The last few times I quit I didn't have much support or accountability & I went right back. But this time is different. It can be the same for you.

  24. #24
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Just got back from town. Was able to get multi vitamins, heating pad for my neck, and some bananas. I wasn't able to find any potassium in stock and no L tyrosine. Gotta love small town USA. Threw the pills out the window on my way to town, it raining so they'll dissolve.
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  25. #25
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Another big reason I don't want to divulge this info to my husband is because he tends to like to throw things back in my face as a means of control. He thinks im crazy anyway.
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  26. #26
    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolnluv View Post
    Another big reason I don't want to divulge this info to my husband is because he tends to like to throw things back in my face as a means of control. He thinks im crazy anyway.
    I know what you mean. Especially when u fight things come back to haunt you. My husband still calls me a drug head sometimes & it hurts. But I'm still glad I told him. I can't keep something this big from him. We've been married 20 years. But that's me. Everyone is different & u need to do what's right for u. I understand. Proud of u throwing out the pills! Good job keep going.. you're going in the right direction. Tomorrow is another day. Day 2 for u. U can do it!!!

  27. #27
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    Luv❤️

    If you want this- really really want a new life w/o pills then take a leap of faith & start your journey. I promise you it is a life changing experience.

    Don't worry about your secret yet. There is a time for everything. Right now focus of getting through these next few days while these toxins leave your body. Rely on all of us here to get you thru each minute if we have 2. Stay in the moment & keep out of your head!

    Sending you positive energies!

    Love & Light,

    ~CC
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  28. #28
    Lincolnluv is offline New Member
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    Approaching 48 hours guys. So far today, I'm alert but mind tends to be a little scrambled. Thought propcesses a little slow. Feeling jittery. Neck and back are aching. Laying on a heating pad for it. Epson baths are wonderful. As far as my husband, I'm not telling him what is going on. I'm doing this without my family being aware. It's honestly for the best. Right now I have a strong feeling I am going to concur this. Are days 3-4 the worst? When does this mess peak?
    ,
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  29. #29
    Ricky71 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolnluv View Post
    Approaching 48 hours guys. So far today, I'm alert but mind tends to be a little scrambled. Thought propcesses a little slow. Feeling jittery. Neck and back are aching. Laying on a heating pad for it. Epson baths are wonderful. As far as my husband, I'm not telling him what is going on. I'm doing this without my family being aware. It's honestly for the best. Right now I have a strong feeling I am going to concur this. Are days 3-4 the worst? When does this mess peak?
    ,
    For a cold turkey detox the consensus is that the withdrawals peak later on in the 2nd day and hang around for the next day or two with the worst of the physical symptoms being over by day five or so? After that you'll still have some lingering issues like lack of energy, insomnia and possibly some depression and/or anxiety? These later issues may take a few weeks or more to improve but be rest assured that they indeed will get better! Drink lots of water and Gatorade, stay well hydrated! You're going to do great! Hang in there! God bless us all!
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  30. #30
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome!

    I see you have your crew following you and offering support. This is a great place so take advantage of it and post often, It helps. I don't know why, but it does.

    48 hours in your symptoms are probably as bad as they're going to get. They are apt to stay about the same without improvement e for the next two or three days. Then, the aches and any restless legs you have will abruptly stop. Bathroom issues will hang around for a bit longer and just like Ricky said, you'll probably have trouble sleeping for two or three weeks. That will begin to return gradually. You might get a few hours then have an absolutely horrid night then a good one and so it goes. Prepare yourself for it and don't let it frustrate you. Just like withstanding the other symptoms, whether it be now or sometime later, we have to find a way to get through it. Especially when you're still not sleeping well, the cravings can be a major pain in the azz. Find things to try and stay busy and to keep your mind occupied. It can be intense at times so set small goals for yourself. Tell yourself that you'll get through the next hour and just keep doing that.

    Things will get better. They always do. Be strong.

    Peace,

    Cat
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