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Please Help -- Scared & Alone trying to quit Oxy30. Melindau? Anyone?
  1. #1
    NeedHelpInNY is offline Junior Member
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    Default Please Help -- Scared & Alone trying to quit Oxy30. Melindau? Anyone?

    Just brief background: I'm in my early 20s, have had several reconstructive surgeries, and never had a problem with pain killers of any kind (always enjoyed them) until this last year. For helping with sleep/pain, I had been prescribed 10mg Percs for a few months a few years ago. I used more than the recommended amount and enjoyed them recreationally, but once they were gone I had zero problem not taking them -- just moved on. So I figured I'd always be able to do that. (I'm an idiot). This last year I was trying to get 10mg pills and a friend was only able to get the Oxycodone 30mg (blues). The first time I tried one I started throwing up (I wish to god it was also the last). But then my tolerance adjusted and I started taking the 30s at night after work. Last summer to help with getting through the work day, I started bringing 2 to work (every 4 hours). Things escalated from there as I started snorting them (never ever do this to any narcotic) and then started blowing them every 2 hours, and then a bunch at the same time at night. At the most I was over 300mg a day. Probably over 400mg because of the nights. I never viewed it as a problem because I was being paid a lot at work and thought I could just stop when I wanted to.

    Last week I decided I didn't want to take them anymore, and would just not take any during the day. Probably only because I had taken 3-4 the night before, I was able to make it to almost 8 pm without taking any but I had to take a few -- the hours I was cringing curled up on a couch, and vomiting. Then I took a few again before sleep, but as the level in my blood was coming down I couldn't make it past 3 pm. That's when I came looking for these boards and realized how stupid I am. And also how scared I am, since I have been taking more mg than anyone on here. Just starting to taper down to an amount that is still more than anyone on here made me vomit after a few hours.

    Last Friday was the last day I will ever snort a pill. I literally rolled toilet paper up and put it in my nose to prevent the running which was a reason why I did it, and also because it got me high. Where I am currently is I have over the last 2.5 days begun to taper down to a 30 every 4 hours (so under 200mg which for me is cutting the use in half -- may sound silly to any of you but I am proud of my first steps). I don't get high at all -- for the first hour I feel "normal", the next hour I begin to feel it wearing off, and the next 2 hours I begin to get hot/cold flashes and tingling + become acutely aware of what is happening + vomiting. I am hoping I stabilize at this 180mg a day by Tuesday, so Wednesday I can try taking it down some more.

    Reading everyone's posts has been equal parts inspiring and terrifying. I understand the position I am in and I want to stop. However with the withdrawal symptoms I get just from moving from snorting to oral ingestion only and still taking a higher dose than any of you --- I am very scared of going cold turkey from this amount. I have read that withdrawal from oxy is hell but only lasts 5 days, while subs have a longer half-life and help people get off -- but then on here some have said it is harder to get off subs and WD lasts weeks. I went to CVS pharmacy to ask for a number of a doctor who can help and prescribe subs.

    Can anyone please help me? I'm alone, no one knows of my problem, and I am very scared. I want to stop but I start feeling very sick if I try to go more than 4 hours right now between pills, and my mind and heart start racing and I vomit. Melinda? Anyone? I need to come up with a plan to get off these. Because of how much I am taking just to feel functional, I would probably get put on a very high dose of suboxone/subutex and then I don't know how I'd get off of that.

    I appreciate anyone's help. Thank you all.

  2. #2
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Glad you came asking for help. As you already know there are plenty of caring members here with the knowledge and experience to help you get off the oxy. There are 3 ways you could go as I see it.
    1. Taper as low as you can.
    2. Jump now or soon.
    3. Get on subs.

    Tapering is tough and takes a huge amount of willpower. The problem with tapering is you have the drug available and it's very easy to take more when things get rough. If you can take the stress and committ yourself to lowering your dose with a plan it would work.

    Jumping now is the fastest way to detox. The worst is usually over in about 5-7 days with days 3-4 usually being the worst. A strong will and the ability to WANT IT more than anything else would get you through it. You have to dig in and fight hard for your life, and it's so worth it.

    Suboxone is a great tool that could do the job, but it's NO magic cure-all. It's a very strong and powerful opiate itself and it can be addictive if you remain on it too long. I used subs myself because my use and tolerance was as high as yours, and I was abusing drugs for about 17 years. Subs should be the very LAST choice in my opinion, and you will have to decide if you are there yet.

    I think if I were in your shoes right now I might try to taper lower and then jump real soon. Tapering prolongs the misery, so getting off quickly is definitely to your benefit. Jumping now might give you some harsh symptoms for several days because of the high amount you have been taking. It's so hard to figure as we really are all different in the way we metabolize meds.

    Lets see what some others have to say and figure out a plan for you. Once you decide to go with it then stick with it and give it everything you have in you.

    This is the fight of a lifetime - for your life!

    Good luck and best wishes!
    NeedHelpInNY likes this.

  3. #3
    The Husband is offline Member
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    That's great you want to quit and that you have already reduced the mg that much. This is how I would do it

    210mg daily for 2-3 days (30mg x 7)
    180mg daily for 2-3 days (30mg x6)
    150mg daily for 2-3 days (30mg x5)
    135mg daily for 2-3 days (30mg x4.5)
    120mg daily for 2-3 days (30mg x4) you can take a half every 3 hours if needed instead of a full one ever 6 hours
    105mg daily for 2-3 days (30mg x3.5)
    90mg daily for 2-3 days (30mg x 3) take half every 4 hours or a quarter every 2 hours your choice
    82.5mg daily for 2-3 days (30mg x 2.75)
    75mg daily for 2-3 days (30mg x 2.5)
    60mg daily for 2-3 days (30mg x2) take a quarter every 3 hours

    From this point on continue to remove a quarter of a pill ever 2-3 days until you are below 40 mg and then discontinue use and expect to fell bad for 3-5 days.

    With that said most people are unable to taper oxy successfully I went c/t from 80mg as I couldn't handle how drawn out the process was and just wanted to get it over with.

    Benefits of taper w/d will be less intense but you will have mild w/d symptoms during the entire process of tapering followed by real w/d once you stop but the real w/d will be less intense then going c/t.

    C/t benefits its over in less then a week and with how intense oxy w/d are known to be it scares a lot of people from going back.
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  4. #4
    The Husband is offline Member
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    double post

  5. #5
    melindau is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by NeedHelpInNY View Post
    Just brief background: I'm in my early 20s, have had several reconstructive surgeries, and never had a problem with pain killers of any kind (always enjoyed them) until this last year. For helping with sleep/pain, I had been prescribed 10mg Percs for a few months a few years ago. I used more than the recommended amount and enjoyed them recreationally, but once they were gone I had zero problem not taking them -- just moved on. So I figured I'd always be able to do that. (I'm an idiot). This last year I was trying to get 10mg pills and a friend was only able to get the Oxycodone 30mg (blues). The first time I tried one I started throwing up (I wish to god it was also the last). But then my tolerance adjusted and I started taking the 30s at night after work. Last summer to help with getting through the work day, I started bringing 2 to work (every 4 hours). Things escalated from there as I started snorting them (never ever do this to any narcotic) and then started blowing them every 2 hours, and then a bunch at the same time at night. At the most I was over 300mg a day. Probably over 400mg because of the nights. I never viewed it as a problem because I was being paid a lot at work and thought I could just stop when I wanted to.

    Last week I decided I didn't want to take them anymore, and would just not take any during the day. Probably only because I had taken 3-4 the night before, I was able to make it to almost 8 pm without taking any but I had to take a few -- the hours I was cringing curled up on a couch, and vomiting. Then I took a few again before sleep, but as the level in my blood was coming down I couldn't make it past 3 pm. That's when I came looking for these boards and realized how stupid I am. And also how scared I am, since I have been taking more mg than anyone on here. Just starting to taper down to an amount that is still more than anyone on here made me vomit after a few hours.

    Last Friday was the last day I will ever snort a pill. I literally rolled toilet paper up and put it in my nose to prevent the running which was a reason why I did it, and also because it got me high. Where I am currently is I have over the last 2.5 days begun to taper down to a 30 every 4 hours (so under 200mg which for me is cutting the use in half -- may sound silly to any of you but I am proud of my first steps). I don't get high at all -- for the first hour I feel "normal", the next hour I begin to feel it wearing off, and the next 2 hours I begin to get hot/cold flashes and tingling + become acutely aware of what is happening + vomiting. I am hoping I stabilize at this 180mg a day by Tuesday, so Wednesday I can try taking it down some more.

    Reading everyone's posts has been equal parts inspiring and terrifying. I understand the position I am in and I want to stop. However with the withdrawal symptoms I get just from moving from snorting to oral ingestion only and still taking a higher dose than any of you --- I am very scared of going cold turkey from this amount. I have read that withdrawal from oxy is hell but only lasts 5 days, while subs have a longer half-life and help people get off -- but then on here some have said it is harder to get off subs and WD lasts weeks. I went to CVS pharmacy to ask for a number of a doctor who can help and prescribe subs.

    Can anyone please help me? I'm alone, no one knows of my problem, and I am very scared. I want to stop but I start feeling very sick if I try to go more than 4 hours right now between pills, and my mind and heart start racing and I vomit. Melinda? Anyone? I need to come up with a plan to get off these. Because of how much I am taking just to feel functional, I would probably get put on a very high dose of suboxone/subutex and then I don't know how I'd get off of that.

    I appreciate anyone's help. Thank you all.
    Hi needhelpinny
    First thing we need to talk about is for you to stop talking so bad to yourself!!! you got caught up in this >>>> like the rest of us did!!!I have been on the forum for a long time (years) but I left for awhile my name use to be Melinda7.5 so I dont know if you read any of my post from that but oh my!!! I was in big trouble...I was chewing up oxycontin and then taking a few 10 mg vic's to top it off a few times a day...I was working two jobs and when I started taking opiates I thought they were the best thing on this earth...I could work day and night and still keep going!!! but like you things caught up to me!! I was going to go C/T and was living in the bathroom for a few day's thought I was going to die...so that is when I came up with the idea to taper..so I got myself stable!!! I hade to take about 20 ten mg vic's to do that!!! but over time I held stead fast and worked myself down to 2 five mg Vic's and that is when I found this forum.. so with the help from my friends here it gave me the courage to jump off...so if your still around please post so we can talk Ill be watching for you!!!
    Melinda
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  6. #6
    NeedHelpInNY is offline Junior Member
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    Randy, Husband, Melinda --

    Thank you all for replying to me. It really means a lot to me. To your point Melinda, I have been going through a lot of self-loathing over the last several weeks (and yes I read your posts when I believe you were posting under "Anonymous" and signing off with Melinda going back to 2009). I knew I wanted to stop but I had no idea how and had a lot of other problems going on as well. My experience with pain killers had always been very enjoyable (my drug of choice) and I could always stop when I wanted to. I guess I just never did enough over the years until this last year to realize that dependency isn't mental (I like many naive folks thought it was) but it becomes a physical issue. I rationalized the use over the last year when it went from recreational at night to all day as a) necessary to help me deal with my day b) I've had it prescribed many times to help with sleep because of the surgeries c) I wasn't doing any other drugs and I also gave up alcohol as I would prefer a 30. I wish the first time I ever took a blue (I vomited and called my friend saying this stuff is too strong) was the last. Unfortunately it wasn't. When I am able to just focus on going forward and looking forward to being off of drugs and back to my normal self.....well my day gets a little better. But I am so ashamed with myself.

    I actually had a better day today in terms of stabilizing. I didn't come close to throwing up, I didn't get painful hot/cold flashes like the previous days, and I was able to go 6 hours between pills from 1pm to 7pm as at 5pm I still felt like I could tolerate feeling "eh" and took an hour+ long bath. It's 12:30am where I am and I have only taken 135mg today. I know that's a lot, but from where I was just a week ago (~400mg) I am proud that I am taking a step in the right direction. I will probably have to take 1 (165mg total) before I go to bed near 3am. I have always had issues sleeping, so that is a really rough part for me because I may usually "need" a pk to sleep. Every night during the start of my taper I have woken up several times during the night in need of the med to go back to sleep. I am taking Benadryl + Melatonin to help with sleep and hopefully my body adjusts and I won't lose sleep during the taper any longer.

    I have a problem with will power. When the WD symptoms come on as I try to push the time between pills while tapering down, I cave and take a pill knowing that in 20 minutes I will feel "normal" again. The pills aren't getting me high anymore as I said above -- I'm sure going from snorting to swallowing has a lot to do with it. I'm hoping that's why the initial adjustment was so intense even though I was still taking 200mg orally. Snorting makes more of the drug available (more potent dose) and I think it may shorten the half-life (?) so that the WD is more acute + intense. Anyway -- I don't enjoy the pills anymore. I just want to stop. But I don't want the intense WD symptoms -- so I am trying to taper down with what I have before jumping off.

    This habit has lasted a year -- I don't know what that means for the WD symptoms. I have always had a high tolerance to pain and pain killers.....I wonder if I actually get down to under 100mg a day if my old tolerance would return and then it wouldn't be much withdrawal. Anyway I'm just bracing for the worst and getting my mind prepared to white knuckle it.

    The two things I fear the most are the physical hot/cold stuff and not being able to sleep. The day is hard enough as it is even when I take an oxy to sleep. If oxy WD = several hours of feeling like #### and not being able to sleep....then that scares the >>>> out of me and has me considering meeting with this suboxone doctor.

    I don't need to experience the intense WD to not go back to abusing these. I hate these pills. They don't bring me any joy. I won't ever buy them again. I know that. I don't even go directly to a dealer, I go to a friend (I set this up in the first place knowing that if I had the guy's number I may be tempted to contact him frequently. Instead over the last year I've just seen my friend a ton. He doesn't have a habit like this -- he didn't have the disposable money to ever get more than 5-7 at a time). I just need to get off of them and am trying to make it as pain-free as possible. I don't mind the upset stomach which I had today.

    Anyway thanks for your thoughts. I have been keeping a journal during my taper just off time and amount taken to keep track. I will keep posting to this thread to keep everyone updated and to keep myself honest.

  7. #7
    melindau is offline Member
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    Hi NeedHelpInNY
    your doing great on spacing the pills out!!! But one of the most important things you need to do is find a way to cut those little suckers in 1/4's and start taking 3/4's of a pill at a time you can take them every 4 hour's if you want at first but we need to lower the dose it may be a little hard at first but the body will adjust pretty fast...that is why I went on the vic's and stopped the oxycontin ...I can tell how much you hate the pills and I think when you start to make progress with the taper your going to get excited and you will see a light at the end and know there is a way out of this mess...I use to take my normal dose mon-thur and then on the weekend I would lower my dose and that gave me time before I went back to work on monday to adjust
    talk to you soon
    Melinda

  8. #8
    NeedHelpInNY is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Melinda thanks for checking in on me. I tried posting an update yesterday but my laptop wasn't working. I had a surprising amount of success lowering my dose on Tuesday. I set out thinking I'll only take a half instead of a full and if I feel badly I'll take more. The bad feelings never came (I wonder if that's just in comparison to the horror that was adjusting from blowing 300+ to under 200 orally) so I only took 82.5mg (including the 15mg half I took at 530am to finally get some sleep). Either way, the human body's ability to adapt and adjust is remarkable! I really didn't think I would have success getting to 80mg from 400mg so quickly -- let alone at all.

    Counting the 530am piece as part of last night since I didn't sleep a second until then, I have only taken 60mg today and it is 2am here. I am going to take a half (Wed=75mg total) and some Benadryl around 3am and pray that I get some sleep. I haven't slept at all the last 2 nights. Not that I've been in pain or anything, but just tossing and turning with a racing mind. I am considering going to a doctor for Xanax/Valium to help with sleep, and also for when I eventually jump (maybe as soon as this weekend if I stabilize around 60mg after tomorrow).

    In both of the days under 100mg I haven't had the physical pains I had just getting off from blowing these. I've been taking them in no bigger pieces than half (15mg) and sometimes a 1/4 (7.5mg). I can comfortably go 4 hours between halves. I went just over 2 hours between quarters tonight and will try to space that to 3+ tomorrow.

    I am nervous that the WD horror will return once I try to jump -- which makes me hesitant to do so. The other issue is I planned for a long taper because I thought it would be very difficult. I didn't expect my body to adjust so quickly to under 100mg -- so I have a lot of Oxy30's left. The tiniest part of my brain wants me to lock them away and maybe down the line I can enjoy them recreationally like I used to without ever taking them during the day. The majority of my brain wants them gone because I hate what these pills have become, so far removed from when I could actually enjoy them.

    Anyway I wanted to share the success I have had tapering. I don't want to make any forward-looking statements because when I did that with sleeping I jinxed myself and haven't slept at all the last 2 nights. Monday night I got maybe 30 minutes of sleep between 7am and 11am. Tuesday night like I said, tossing and turning until I took a half at 530am. I was actually prescribed pk's for sleeping purposes, so trying not to take them is going to F my sleeping I am sure. This is why I want some Xanax mainly. We'll see what happens with that.

    I will check in tomorrow to see if I taper more, or go for 75mg again. Gonna listen to my body. What would be great is I feel normal and jump. But I think having so many left, and also fearing the return of WD symptoms....Idk if I can do it yet....especially not without having the Xanax as a "replacement".

  9. #9
    The Husband is offline Member
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    Sounds like you are making great progress. The part of your brain telling you to save the blues for later is just a trap. I got of oxycodone 30's easily but then the second time I tried it was the exact opposite...

  10. #10
    NeedHelpInNY is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Husband View Post
    Sounds like you are making great progress. The part of your brain telling you to save the blues for later is just a trap. I got of oxycodone 30's easily but then the second time I tried it was the exact opposite...
    I know you're right about the trap. There's just too much left that I feel that I can flush them down the toilet. I could just continue to taper at a slower rate. When you say you got of oxy30's easily, how much were you taking a day (if you don't mind)? I thought in your story you said you were taking oxycontin which I believe is extended release and stronger than an oxycodone pill ? That was always my understanding of oxycontin but maybe I am wrong.

    Anyway, today I only took 45mg until just now (midnight) where I took a half (60mg total) and 12mg of Melatonin. I went to the doctor today to try to get Xanax/Valium for sleep because I almost broke mentally last night being awake every second until after 8am when I took a 1/2 and finally got like 2 hours of sleep (succeeding in falling asleep in room #5, bed #3, and after 2 failed couch sleeping attempts). The sleep is really what is going to do me in so I need to get something for it. My doc explained that Valium is the shortest acting of that group, so perhaps it would be the best for sleeping and then not being groggy in the morning. Then again Xanax could help me throughout the day......but she couldn't prescribe any so I am off to a different doc tomorrow. I think my plan right now is aim for a 45mg day tomorrow and hope I have Valium to take around midnight to sleep. I did so great yesterday until 2am, but then had to take some at 2 and then at 5 and then at 8. If I can wipe out at least 2 of those doses, I'll be near the end of the tunnel here. And also be able to function during the day since I will have slept.

    Something interesting for those tapering or going C/T: my doctor explained to me that taking too much Benadryl (Diphenhydramine) actually has the side effect referred to as "mad hatter" where your heart races, you feel jacked up, and get hot. That is EXACTLY how I've felt every night and I've been taking more than double the recommended dose thinking it would make me overly sleepy since it says that on the damn box! I thought I was so clever that I was using Sleep Tea + Benadryl + Children's NyQuil. Instead, it's possible that I was revving myself up with a Diphenhydramine overdose. (I really thought that taking Children's NyQuil was brilliant Why? Because every version of NyQuil except for Children's has alcohol, but most importantly Doxylamine Succinate which interacts similarly in the brain as pain killers -- something you'll want to avoid while trying to get that part of the brain used to not being stimulated by these drugs). However all 3 have a serving of Diphenhydramine.

    I mean, if you could have seen my face when she said the symptoms of Diphenhydramine overdose. Laughing is keeping me from ripping my >>>>ing hair out with frustration, so feel free to join. She was so on the money as she went down the list that my jaw slowly dropped as I realized it is quite possible I've been making things harder than they need to be. I think I will just take the Children's NyQuil tonight (it tastes like a candy drink) and see if it helps.

    I am so in debt to these boards and you guys for taking the time to be here, and caring enough about someone you don't even know to help him come up with a plan to get his life in order. It makes me a little teary. A week ago I just felt like I had let things get so out of control and didn't know the way out. I was frantically looking for subs and was so hopeless and stressed. I'm not done yet, but I've come a really long way in a short amount of time. I'm realizing that I do have some will power, and that these drugs don't have a place in my life anymore.

    Thank you so much,
    -FeelingHelpedInNY

  11. #11
    NeedHelpInNY is offline Junior Member
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    I've started sleeping better on my taper. 3 nights ago I was wide awake until 8 am. 2 nights ago it was 6 am. Last night was 4 am. I have only been taking 1/4 at a time during the day and trying my best to wait 4 hours now. I still take a 1/2 before trying to go to bed because 0 hours of sleep really had me very mentally fragile.

    I went to doctors but neither were able to prescribe Ativan. They suggested I go to a primary care doctor on Monday or to the ER. I haven't had the physical symptoms I had when I stopped snorting these (thank the heavens) but the mental aspect is now getting to me so that I am taking a 1/4 after 3-4 hours anyway knowing the "normal" feeling will return. That's why I know I need Ativan or Xanax. When I make the decision to jump, I need something to keep me from freaking out mentally and a little hazy. Especially for sleeping if it will help.

    My stomach has started to become a disaster. If I am still taking Oxy 7.5's basically is it bad to also take Immodium? Will that make it not be helpful when I need it is a partial agonist when I finish the taper to 0?

  12. #12
    melindau is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by NeedHelpInNY View Post
    I've started sleeping better on my taper. 3 nights ago I was wide awake until 8 am. 2 nights ago it was 6 am. Last night was 4 am. I have only been taking 1/4 at a time during the day and trying my best to wait 4 hours now. I still take a 1/2 before trying to go to bed because 0 hours of sleep really had me very mentally fragile.

    I went to doctors but neither were able to prescribe Ativan. They suggested I go to a primary care doctor on Monday or to the ER. I haven't had the physical symptoms I had when I stopped snorting these (thank the heavens) but the mental aspect is now getting to me so that I am taking a 1/4 after 3-4 hours anyway knowing the "normal" feeling will return. That's why I know I need Ativan or Xanax. When I make the decision to jump, I need something to keep me from freaking out mentally and a little hazy. Especially for sleeping if it will help.

    My stomach has started to become a disaster. If I am still taking Oxy 7.5's basically is it bad to also take Immodium? Will that make it not be helpful when I need it is a partial agonist when I finish the taper to 0?
    Hi
    omg take as much Imodium as you need... dont even worry about that!!!! sleep is the last thing to come but keep putting time behind you and you will get better!!! when I came off my oxycontin I had the same problem I was in the bathroom for days...I then stabilized on about 20 ten mg vic's a day and went down from there..
    post a little more to us so we can help!!!
    Melinda

  13. #13
    NeedHelpInNY is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by melindau View Post
    Hi
    omg take as much Imodium as you need... dont even worry about that!!!! sleep is the last thing to come but keep putting time behind you and you will get better!!! when I came off my oxycontin I had the same problem I was in the bathroom for days...I then stabilized on about 20 ten mg vic's a day and went down from there..
    post a little more to us so we can help!!!
    Melinda
    I've stabilized at ~80mg a day. Yesterday I only took 60mg I think (need to check my pad). Today I have taken 30mg (it's almost 9pm). I'll take 1/4 around 11-1130 and then 1/2 around 2 hoping that tonight I can fall asleep at 230/3 am. Would make the total 52.5mg for the day. I haven't had any of the withdrawal symptoms. Will they return when I jump from ~45-55mg to zero? Or do you think that my body was used to 300+, so cutting to under 100mg was the worst?

    I had read on the boards that Immodium's active ingredient is a partial agonist for the brain's opiate receptors (doesn't cross the brain to blood threshold). Are you sure that taking it now while I am still taking some pk's is fine?

    I took an hour walk today for the first time. I really pushed it and broke a sweat....felt good.

    Will keep everyone posted, especially on Monday after I go to the doctor and hopefully finally get Ativan. I don't want to stay stabilized on 60mg for too long because I fear then my body will adjust to it and face harsh WD symptoms when I go to zero. I think I want to take 1/4 when I wake on Monday, go to the doctor for Ativan, and jump once I get it. Monday will be Day 1 basically except for the crumb I take while waiting for the doc. Don't have to work this week, so Mon-Wed I can feel "eh".

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