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Ready to quit or Die!
  1. #1
    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    Default Ready to quit or Die!

    3 years ago I had colon cancer. Long story short. I was put on pain meds. I have been in remission for 2 yrs. It wasn't the cancer that destroyed my life. It is the opiates. I can't seem to get off of them. I have a severe panic anxiety disorder so I do NOT do well with the withdrawal process. 3 yrs ago I was so active, out going, vibrant, and full of life. Now i dont get out of the house and most days not even out of the bed. I've gained so much weight from being a lazy daisy. I just eat, sleep, and take more opiates. I tried going off the opiates and the withdrawals after day 6 was more than I could mentally handle. Drs won't give me xanax or valium. So I have nothing for the nerves except my lexapro. Which does nothing when in a panic attack. How can I make it through this without putting myself in a hospital? I refuse to go to a Rehab facility. I need help. Ready to kick it, or quit life in general. Help!
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  2. #2
    zebra1961 is offline Member
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    Default Puddin

    Did you follow Thomas recipe when you got to day 6 ?? Dont feel bad it often takes more than one two three even more attempts before you quit most of us had several tries before quitting,so dont let that get you down.Ask your Dr. if you can take clonidine really helps with mental part of withdrawals,read all the post you can you will learn a lot about what helps from those who have been there. YOU CAN GET THIS DONT GIVE UP!! If i made it anyone can. 10 yrs on opiates last 2-1/2 0n subs quit the pain pills twice the went right back to them.Went on subs big mistake,should have just stopped on the pain pills far far far easier dont make the mistake i did. pulling for you and praying for you keep us posted.

  3. #3
    Thisweekforsure is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi! Welcome to the board.

    Just to be sure I understand your situation, you are taking your pain meds as the doctor orders, and not taking extra or buying them off the street? You are on a steady daily dose? You have not had a problem with addiction prior to the cancer?

    You tried cold turkey and you made it to day 6, but your panic and anxiety at that point were too much?

    If so, then tapering might be the answer for you, but a very, very slow taper. Usually cold turkey will get people off more quickly and easily. The withdrawals are intense but normally by day 6 you should be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But for you I propose that your anxiety was getting worse, not better. For you, cold turkey may have represented too fearful, too sudden a change. Tapering is in some ways harder to do because it drags it out over a long time and you feel withdrawals that are very annoying, but they can be manageable, they are much less intense than cold turkey.

    Here is what I recommend you consider. Plan an extremely slow taper, one that has you cutting small portions off one pill. We can help you with that if you tell us exactly what meds you are taking and how much. But at the same time, make other changes in your life to address the negative symptoms. You are removing opiates but you need to add some other things to replace them. Anxiety and depression go hand in hand and you likely are suffering from both.

    You have had a devastating shock. The colon cancer was a pivotal event, dividing your life into "before" and "after" where the "after" part is alien, a whole new reality, to which you must adjust. It is very normal to have spent two years in complete disarray after something like this, even not counting the drugs. Subconsciously a person is coming to terms with the new reality. You have had a threat of death, even if they cured the cancer, and likely they have told you that you can't consider yourself cured until the five year mark. So you exist in a state of suspended animation, unsure if it's worth moving forward in life, because the future is no longer a given. In this context, you have been traumatized, so I'm thinking the shock of cold turkey is something your mind rejected. You need to handle yourself gently. You've been through a lot.

    So you have a lot of things going on that are contributing to your being locked in this paralytic state of not doing anything, being lazy, eat, sleep, take your drugs. These things are feeding into the cycle and making you spiral downward, ever weaker, and less healthy with each passing day. First of all, there is nothing wrong with this. No judgement. Sometimes people need to go through something like this after a life altering shock. It's a period of mourning, even if you are not consciously aware of that fact. It's a loss, and there is grief, it is the loss of whatever you assumed life would hold, as if floodwaters had swept away the landscape of the path before you. The good news is that landscape is still there. It is different, it is less certain, but you still have life before you. No one ever knows what the future holds. You never did, but all of us imagine we do. Getting cancer strips that away from us. We need time to adjust. So embrace the fact that you spent the last two years as you did. Maybe you needed them.

    However but, as you well know, this is no longer serving you. Now the negatives will fast outweigh whatever psychological benefit you had from your time of withdrawal. Now you need to return to life. The fact that you tried to get off the drugs proves you are ready. You have come here for help, so you are ready. You just need some support and guidance. You can do this.

    Here are areas you can choose things to gradually replace the drugs, and to treat your anxiety and depression:

    1. Get out of the house. Sit in the sun. Lack of sun and vitamin D contributes or is even a direct cause of depression. Try to get a full ten minutes of sun on as much skin surface as you can each day (consult a doctor if you have ever had skin cancer).

    2. I won't call it "exercise" but you need to do some kind of movement or activity each day, even if it is to only walk around your yard, or if you can't make yourself go outside, walk around your house. Set a clock every hour to stand up and move to a different room, do four jumping jacks or sit ups. Start as small as you must be do something physical every day.

    3. Carbs make you lethargic and gain weight. Eating habits are very resistant to change and if I tell you to cut way back on carbs and focus on lean meats and fresh produce, it may be too much to implement all at once. Instead, I recommend focusing on learning about food. Google it and spend time every day thinking about nutrition. Unfortunately, weight gain is a side effect of Lexapro and you may find it impossible to lose weight as long as you are on that drug. But do not stop Lexapro suddenly. I recommend you think about it for a while and talk to your doctor, and see if getting off Lexapro is something you should now consider. When you do, you should taper off very slowly, and you should not do it while you are tapering the pain meds. One drug at a time.

    4. Sip water all day long, even if you don't feel thirsty. It's amazing how people can be chronically dehydrated without knowing it, but it affects your mood and energy. Especially if you are over 55, you begin to lose the sense of thirst and don't recognize as easily when you need more hydration.

    5. Work or hobby, you don't say if you have either. If not, get something to do. We all need a purpose in life. No matter how small. Even if it's just a video game.

    6. Human interaction. Friend, family, or just chatting with a cashier somewhere, or a neighbor if you cross paths. If you are an introvert, human interaction needs to be limited, but you still need some. Don't make the mistake of thinking you are happier without it.

    So as you taper off the opiates, look at the six things above and design a plan to incorporate any or all of them into your days. Do not get off the opiates without simultaneously beginning to replace them with these things. You are most aware of your anxiety and panic. These are actual chemical issues in the brain but are also related to how your mind is occupied. Sitting around the house or lying in bed feeds into these things. Try to occupy your mind with something. Reorganize a drawer. Write a letter to someone. Anything to get your mind off yourself. In other words, get out of your own head as much as possible.

    I understand the mode of most days not even getting out of the bed. It may be very difficult to implement changes when you are in the habit of staying in bed. The idea of "I can't stay in bed" may make your mind panic, so don't tell yourself that. Design bed rest into your day. Maybe plan to stay in bed between this hour and that hour. Knowing that you will have your nap time may make it easier to stay out of bed at other times. This is not the time to deny yourself comforts. It is the time to gradually restructure your life and your comforts. In the past going out and being vibrant was a comfort and fun, for you. It can be again. It will be, but it's hard to do when you are on opiates. They do this to all of us, when we are on them daily for a long period of time. At first they can make us euphoric and feel sociable but in the long run they make us withdraw and not feel like doing much of anything. In your case, maybe you needed this "cave" time to subconsciously process your cancer diagnosis. But now you are feeling the desire to get back to where you were three years ago. It will be a journey but you can do it.

    Always keep an open mind to trying the cold turkey again at any point. I think most of us taper-ers get to a point of wanting to be done with it already, and just jumping off at some dose. Cold turkey will get you past all of this much faster. In your case, if you make some life changes first, you may feel more confident later to try it again, and from a lower total daily dose.
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  4. #4
    Thisweekforsure is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by zebra1961 View Post
    Did you follow Thomas recipe when you got to day 6 ?? Dont feel bad it often takes more than one two three even more attempts before you quit most of us had several tries before quitting,so dont let that get you down.Ask your Dr. if you can take clonidine really helps with mental part of withdrawals,read all the post you can you will learn a lot about what helps from those who have been there. YOU CAN GET THIS DONT GIVE UP!! If i made it anyone can. 10 yrs on opiates last 2-1/2 0n subs quit the pain pills twice the went right back to them.Went on subs big mistake,should have just stopped on the pain pills far far far easier dont make the mistake i did. pulling for you and praying for you keep us posted.
    Agree! Thomas recipe, even if you taper. If you go cold turkey, see if the doctor will give you clonidine (not Klonopin!). And also agree do not go on subs. Only if you make many attempts over years and we are no where near considering that. And stay on this board, the support here helped me a lot. Like you I was on them for medical reasons, but anyone who takes them becomes dependent and getting off them is never fun. You are not alone and you can do this!
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  5. #5
    Smilingstorm is offline Senior Member
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    I'm all about discernment and tough love. But "suck it up" is beyond me! Dear heavens, I do hope you receive better advice in your own journey.

  6. #6
    Smilingstorm is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thisweekforsure View Post
    Agree! Thomas recipe, even if you taper. If you go cold turkey, see if the doctor will give you clonidine (not Klonopin!). And also agree do not go on subs. Only if you make many attempts over years and we are no where near considering that. And stay on this board, the support here helped me a lot. Like you I was on them for medical reasons, but anyone who takes them becomes dependent and getting off them is never fun. You are not alone and you can do this!
    You can do this! You aren't alone.

  7. #7
    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by zebra1961 View Post
    Did you follow Thomas recipe when you got to day 6 ?? Dont feel bad it often takes more than one two three even more attempts before you quit most of us had several tries before quitting,so dont let that get you down.Ask your Dr. if you can take clonidine really helps with mental part of withdrawals,read all the post you can you will learn a lot about what helps from those who have been there. YOU CAN GET THIS DONT GIVE UP!! If i made it anyone can. 10 yrs on opiates last 2-1/2 0n subs quit the pain pills twice the went right back to them.Went on subs big mistake,should have just stopped on the pain pills far far far easier dont make the mistake i did. pulling for you and praying for you keep us posted.
    I don't know what you mean by the Thomas Recipe. Thank you for your support. It really means alot to me to build a strong support team here as I don't have family.

  8. #8
    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    Thisweekforsure:, Thank you for responding and with this planned out and detailed tips for quitting the opiates.
    I am 41 years old
    I am female
    Cancer left me with Fibromyalgia
    The panic and anxiety disorder along with manic depression I've had since I was a child.
    I have tried to come off the meds for that too but my Dr. Told me that I would ways have to be on something because I do not make enough serotonin on my own to keep myself balanced. When I went off before I developed psychosis and tried to hurt my self due to looking touch with reality during a sever panic attack. Everyday is a struggle. The Fibro, is incurable. My anxiety disorder incurable, and your right I'm scared to death the colon cancer or just cancer will come back. It terrifies me. I got to stage 4 and was so close to death. Lost over 100 lbs in 10 months, the chemo kept me sick, the radiation took my hair and scarred my skin from blisters. Though it saved my life it also has turned me into a scared shut in. I'm definitely an introvert person now. Sometimes I stay in my hous for a month at a time. During cancer my husband left me, I became homeless and had to finally live with a friend whom helped me night and day and took care of me when I couldn't help myself. Like I said other then my kids I have NO family left. It is very vital right now that I find support here due to the fact I feel as if I have no reason to continue my life on drugs. Thank you for everything!

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    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    Wow! That's all I have to say!! ThAnks for the support buddy... that hurts!

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    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    THANK YOU RICKEY! I am a 41 year old female. I suffer from a strong line of mental illness. Thank you for being supportive it means the world to me. I need your as well as others support to do this. Thank you so much.

  11. #11
    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    I found the Thomas Recipe Thank you.

  12. #12
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puddin75 View Post
    THANK YOU RICKEY! I am a 41 year old female. I suffer from a strong line of mental illness. Thank you for being supportive it means the world to me. I need your as well as others support to do this. Thank you so much.
    No problem puddin! He should be out of your thread for good now?

    What exactly are the pain meds that you're taking and how much per day? What other meds are you taking, the names of the meds, what are you taking them for and for how long? Be as detailed as possible please so we can better help and advise you!

    I agree with thisweekforsure, a very slow taper may work best for you? The recommended taper for opiates is 15% every 5-7 days but in your case I would recommend tapering by only 10% per week?

    Let us know your thoughts on the taper? Take care... God bless us all!
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  13. #13
    Thisweekforsure is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puddin75 View Post
    Thisweekforsure:, Thank you for responding and with this planned out and detailed tips for quitting the opiates.
    I am 41 years old
    I am female
    Cancer left me with Fibromyalgia
    The panic and anxiety disorder along with manic depression I've had since I was a child.
    I have tried to come off the meds for that too but my Dr. Told me that I would ways have to be on something because I do not make enough serotonin on my own to keep myself balanced. When I went off before I developed psychosis and tried to hurt my self due to looking touch with reality during a sever panic attack. Everyday is a struggle. The Fibro, is incurable. My anxiety disorder incurable, and your right I'm scared to death the colon cancer or just cancer will come back. It terrifies me. I got to stage 4 and was so close to death. Lost over 100 lbs in 10 months, the chemo kept me sick, the radiation took my hair and scarred my skin from blisters. Though it saved my life it also has turned me into a scared shut in. I'm definitely an introvert person now. Sometimes I stay in my hous for a month at a time. During cancer my husband left me, I became homeless and had to finally live with a friend whom helped me night and day and took care of me when I couldn't help myself. Like I said other then my kids I have NO family left. It is very vital right now that I find support here due to the fact I feel as if I have no reason to continue my life on drugs. Thank you for everything!
    Wow. Okay, fibromyalgia is a special case. You have to be extra gentle with yourself. Shocks and stressors that normal people bounce back from will send a fibro patient into relapse and I'm not talking about drug relapse, I'm talking about fibromyalgia relapse. They trigger flares of the disorder. It also sounds like you have almost a PTSD situation here from the cancer. Do you think in your area there might be a cancer survivor support group? Even if you are cured, the devastating effects of the whole experience have left you emotionally scarred. It would give you a reason to get out of the house to go to support group meetings, and a cancer survivor group might be the only people who truly "get" what you are going through. You can definitely stay here too of course!
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  14. #14
    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thisweekforsure View Post
    Wow. Okay, fibromyalgia is a special case. You have to be extra gentle with yourself. Shocks and stressors that normal people bounce back from will send a fibro patient into relapse and I'm not talking about drug relapse, I'm talking about fibromyalgia relapse. They trigger flares of the disorder. It also sounds like you have almost a PTSD situation here from the cancer. Do you think in your area there might be a cancer survivor support group? Even if you are cured, the devastating effects of the whole experience have left you emotionally scarred. It would give you a reason to get out of the house to go to support group meetings, and a cancer survivor group might be the only people who truly "get" what you are going through. You can definitely stay here too of course!
    Unfortunately there are no cancer support groups here. I live in such a small town in Tennessee. The closest Wal-Mart or big city is 60 miles away. This reaching out for help is a new thing to me. I do have ptsd, I'm sure the cancer didn't make it any better but I developed that from other issues, starting the loss of my family, then later on in life my first husband died when I was pregnant with my twins. I guess I'm a hopeless cause. So I never reached for too much from strangers or online thinking drs can't fix me so why bother. I'm just to the end of my rope. I need help with this. I can't do it all alone any more. I don't want to. I have no siblings, no mother, no father, no family left here at all. I am all alone in this til now. I will try not to be a bother but I am reaching out. I posted on Rickets a list of all meds I take. So hopefully you all will know how to help me. Please feel free to ask any questions you need to. Personal or not I will answer. I'm willing to.give this 150 percent. I want to thank you for being there for me. Xx

  15. #15
    Thisweekforsure is offline Advanced Member
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    I am so sorry about the loss of your family and your first husband. Oh yes, I am completely familiar with the small town problems of lack of support. Been there. Small towns and rural areas have their charms (I hate city traffic!) but the down side is lack of things like support groups, different options for medical care not to mention plain old grocery shopping options.

    So you have to work with what you have and the good side is these days we have the Internet. Online support groups can give you access to way more people, you just don't have the benefit of getting out of the house to use it. You don't have to use just one, surely there are cancer survivor online groups, and this one is probably the best available for support with medication dependency. Speaking of that, what do you mean "Rickets"? Where did you post that information? You should post it in this thread. It's best if people keep all of their own story in one thread. Post in other threads to help other people though. It is very helpful to get involved in other people's journeys, as it gives us a lot of perspective on our own.

  16. #16
    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    I meant I posted it on Rickey'S reply.
    I take Percocet 10/ 325 4x day for pain
    Gabapentin 300mg 3x day for Fibro
    Was on lyrics but had a reaction so they pulled me off of it.
    Also on Lexapro 40mg 1x day for GAD/Depression
    Losartin 100mg 1x day for blood pressure
    Torsemide 20 mg 1 x day for Edema
    Potassium 10meq 1 x day for Edema
    Ibuprofen 800mg 3x day for anti inflammatory.
    That's it. When I posted this to Rickeys. It told men it had to be approved by a moderator

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    Gilsmom is offline Member
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    Good morning Puddin!!
    I just read your thread and I am so happy you found this forum! It has literally saved my life. Having someone to talk to who truly understood the pain I was (and still am) in is beyond amazing! It looks like someone was nasty to you and is now gone. Please don't let harsh words or criticism keep you from your journey! No one knows your path except you and the fact that you joined here shows your strength and character! It shows your desire to improve you! You have been through quite a lot in life and you are still young! Remember that.. Look at what you've come through already.. Youve dealt with more than most of us will ever have to deal with in a lifetime.

    You will never be a bother here. When I read that my heart ached for you. The thing I love most is being able to come here and vent out everything no matter how big or small, someone else has felt exactly the same and relates to it! It feels so much better not going through these things alone and you truly are not alone anymore sweetheart!! Now you have a huge "family" to talk to and help you!! The amazing people on here saved my life!

    I can't wait to get to know you and become friends! I am so sorry that you have had such tragedy in your life. How old are your twins?? Any other kids? I found mine to be my focus and get better for them. I was hurting so bad because I felt I was letting them down.. So I am working on being the mom they deserve! I try to see myself through their eyes. Please post often! I am usually on here all the time but I had a very busy weekend so I didn't see you until now! That first response from thisweekforsure was the best advice and sometimes having it all laid out for you like that helps to show you that this actually is doable!!!

    So welcome to the forum! Take care and know I'm here cheering you on..
    Sending you a big giant hug!!!
    Xo
    Mary
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  18. #18
    Thisweekforsure is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puddin75 View Post
    I meant I posted it on Rickey'S reply.
    I take Percocet 10/ 325 4x day for pain
    Gabapentin 300mg 3x day for Fibro
    Was on lyrics but had a reaction so they pulled me off of it.
    Also on Lexapro 40mg 1x day for GAD/Depression
    Losartin 100mg 1x day for blood pressure
    Torsemide 20 mg 1 x day for Edema
    Potassium 10meq 1 x day for Edema
    Ibuprofen 800mg 3x day for anti inflammatory.
    That's it. When I posted this to Rickeys. It told men it had to be approved by a moderator
    Thanks! 10 mg oxy 4 times a day is very minimal opioid and should not be too difficult to quit if you like. You would have withdrawal symptoms but probably the biggest problem would be increased pain. If you can make it through a couple of months, you might find your pain is no worse off the drug than on it. But even though 40 mg total daily is not very much, it can still be difficult to quit whether you taper or go cold turkey. From reading all the stories on this board and from my own experience, I have come to believe that one of the biggest obstacles to quitting painkillers is anxiety. The anticipation and fear of doing without it seem to be bigger than the actual experience, once you make up your mind to do it. Anxiety is a recurring theme on this board. If you can read others' stories and gain a sense of not being alone, that many others have been through the same thing, and that anxiety is a normal part of the desire to get off the drug, it helps put it into perspective.

    Of your other drugs, I would think only the Lexapro, Ibuprofen and Gabapentin are optional and the doctor wouldn't mind if you wanted to quit them. Why would you want to quit them? Because Lexapro can cause weight gain and that is making you unhappy. Gabapentin might simply not be doing you any good, so why continue to take it? You would have to asses and see what you think, but it should not be stopped suddenly, but rather tapered. Ibuprofen may or may not be helping you. As an anti-inflammatory, it's not the best tool in the world and it does come with some risk. So again you would have to assess whether it is actually helping you in real life or not.

    We see people on this board who are on a cocktail of drugs, usually including an antidepressant and an opioid painkiller, combined with various other drugs, and they are on all these drugs because there was a crisis, often an injury or surgery, or maybe even just a psychological crisis such as grief. This happened to me and I was on a list of many drugs. It got me through a few terrible years. Would I have been able to get through those years without them? Maybe, but maybe they would have been rougher even than they were. At a certain point though, we begin to question whether all these drugs are still helping. It is my personal opinion that in many cases they are not, even though in some percentage of people, they do continue to help. It's up to each of us to decide for ourselves.

    I'm not saying that you should consider getting off those other drugs, I am just giving my perspective for you or any readers who lurk but don't post who may be in similar situations. For myself, I decided the time I needed them was past and now I'm really glad I got off them. The antidepressant caused me weight gain also, and that had a huge impact on my life. For me (I cannot speak for others) the unhappiness caused by weight gain outweighed any happiness the antidepressant brought. But everyone is different and there are some people who may require an antidepressant to avoid extreme depression.

  19. #19
    Dudeman007 is offline New Member
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    [deleted - breaching forum rules]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 08-31-2016 at 02:53 PM.

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    sydney63 is offline New Member
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    hello i'm new to the forum. i had back surgeries that required oxycodone and i have been taking 2 5/325 pills 2 to 3x a day, for about 4 years. when i hear about others addiction i think i'm not taking much but i can tell it has affected my personality and i want to be healthy again. i don't get high on them but it does help my pain. i also got diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago and had to have a bi-lateral mastectomy. before that i caught c-diff (antibiotic resistant bacteria) and i was sick for a year with that. on top of it my partner had cancer at the same time and he died a year ago. just before he died my little brother OD'd, he was 40. I've lived like a hermit for the past several years. i hardly leave my apt and just function. i have a 9 year old son and i'm sure i can be better for him if i get off ALL of the meds. i also take xanax .5mg to sleep at night and i've been on that for 10 years. when i got diagnosed with cancer my oncologist put me on 450 mg of wellbutrin so i'm still taking that too.

    i just found this forum and thought maybe it might help to discuss it. i only have 2 percocets left and the last time i took them was yesterday morning (took 2). i do have suboxones and i tried that yesterday 8mg under tongue but i guess i still had too much perc in my system and i threw up all day long. i feel better today tho i'm still in bed. i'm afraid to take another sub because i got so sick and i'm thinking i should just go cold turkey from here. i realize i have another prob with the xanax but one thing at a time. any advise ??

  21. #21
    Smilingstorm is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sydney63 View Post
    hello i'm new to the forum. i had back surgeries that required oxycodone and i have been taking 2 5/325 pills 2 to 3x a day, for about 4 years. when i hear about others addiction i think i'm not taking much but i can tell it has affected my personality and i want to be healthy again. i don't get high on them but it does help my pain. i also got diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago and had to have a bi-lateral mastectomy. before that i caught c-diff (antibiotic resistant bacteria) and i was sick for a year with that. on top of it my partner had cancer at the same time and he died a year ago. just before he died my little brother OD'd, he was 40. I've lived like a hermit for the past several years. i hardly leave my apt and just function. i have a 9 year old son and i'm sure i can be better for him if i get off ALL of the meds. i also take xanax .5mg to sleep at night and i've been on that for 10 years. when i got diagnosed with cancer my oncologist put me on 450 mg of wellbutrin so i'm still taking that too.

    i just found this forum and thought maybe it might help to discuss it. i only have 2 percocets left and the last time i took them was yesterday morning (took 2). i do have suboxones and i tried that yesterday 8mg under tongue but i guess i still had too much perc in my system and i threw up all day long. i feel better today tho i'm still in bed. i'm afraid to take another sub because i got so sick and i'm thinking i should just go cold turkey from here. i realize i have another prob with the xanax but one thing at a time. any advise ??
    Ricky71, Bette or Randy! Somo too!

    Welcome to the boards. I am so very sorry for the loss of your partner. As well as enduring the awful C word. How are you healing thus far? Is it in remission or gone?

    Sydney, do not take the suboxone right now! You must be higher in the COWS scale to induce. You have to be in some pretty hard WD to start a sub induction. I have no idea what I am talking about but please don't take anymore subs until those that do know can help you!

    Couple questions.

    How many percs did you take daily? We need the whole list of it all and how long.

    Also, why do you have subs? How much total do you have available? Are they to taper off of Percocet? If so, they aren't teaching you how to taper.

    I wouldn't take the subs if I were only on that dosage. I would just go cold turkey. 5-7 days of flu.. And it's better after.

    I encourage you to start your own thread. It helps us speak directly with you and not confuse.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 08-31-2016 at 03:49 PM.
    sydney63 likes this.

  22. #22
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilingstorm View Post
    Ricky71, Bette or Randy! Somo too!

    Welcome to the boards. I am so very sorry for the loss of your partner. As well as enduring the awful C word. How are you healing thus far? Is it in remission or gone?

    Sydney, do not take the suboxone right now! You must be higher in the COWS scale to induce. You have to be in some pretty hard WD to start a sub induction. I have no idea what I am talking about but please don't take anymore subs until those that do know can help you!

    Couple questions.

    How many percs did you take daily? We need the whole list of it all and how long.

    Also, why do you have subs? How much total do you have available? Are they to taper off of Percocet? If so, they aren't teaching you how to taper.

    I wouldn't take the subs if I were only on that dosage. I would just go cold turkey. 5-7 days of flu.. And it's better after.

    I encourage you to start your own thread. It helps us speak directly with you and not confuse.
    Sydney - I agree with da "storm", do not take anymore subs! By the way, 8mg of Suboxone is way, way too much, more on that later if the Suboxone becomes an option for you but I don't think it will be necessary? Suboxone therapy should be an absolute last option and has to be done correctly or will cause more harm than good! You are only taking between 20-30mg oxy/day so cold turkey is your best route here! Look up the Thomas Recipe for Opiate Withdrawal, the items in the recipe with help ease the detox. You are already prescribed Xanax so that will be very helpful as well.

    As Stormy has already mentioned, please start your own thread so you can get personalized help and support! Take care... God bless us all!
    sydney63 likes this.

  23. #23
    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilsmom View Post
    Good morning Puddin!!
    I just read your thread and I am so happy you found this forum! It has literally saved my life. Having someone to talk to who truly understood the pain I was (and still am) in is beyond amazing! It looks like someone was nasty to you and is now gone. Please don't let harsh words or criticism keep you from your journey! No one knows your path except you and the fact that you joined here shows your strength and character! It shows your desire to improve you! You have been through quite a lot in life and you are still young! Remember that.. Look at what you've come through already.. Youve dealt with more than most of us will ever have to deal with in a lifetime.

    You will never be a bother here. When I read that my heart ached for you. The thing I love most is being able to come here and vent out everything no matter how big or small, someone else has felt exactly the same and relates to it! It feels so much better not going through these things alone and you truly are not alone anymore sweetheart!! Now you have a huge "family" to talk to and help you!! The amazing people on here saved my life!

    I can't wait to get to know you and become friends! I am so sorry that you have had such tragedy in your life. How old are your twins?? Any other kids? I found mine to be my focus and get better for them. I was hurting so bad because I felt I was letting them down.. So I am working on being the mom they deserve! I try to see myself through their eyes. Please post often! I am usually on here all the time but I had a very busy weekend so I didn't see you until now! That first response from thisweekforsure was the best advice and sometimes having it all laid out for you like that helps to show you that this actually is doable!!!

    So welcome to the forum! Take care and know I'm here cheering you on..
    Sending you a big giant hug!!!
    Xo
    Mary
    Thank you Mary. Your messege meant alot! Thank you for welcoming me to the forum. It's nice not to be judged on here.
    Your right, I have over come alot in my life. More than I've told, but really we all have our own stories. Mine isn't any more difficult than the next ones on here. I do appreciate your kind words. I just don't want no one thinking I'm looking for sympathy, or attention.

    I truly want off the opiates. They make me sleepy, lazy and not the same out going energetic person I used to be. Plus I know it's hard on my liver and other organs. I will continue the rest of my meds because they do help. I think it would be easier if I didn't have the fibro. I have started tapering already. I usually take 4 Percocet 10/325's a day. Yesterday I started 3 a day. Next week I'm going to try 2 a day and so on.
    It's wonderful friends like you that make this happen. My Children are twin boys 21 off to college and my daughter is 20 also off to college building their own lives. I've been on painkillers for 3 years now. My kids ask me all the time if I am ok. I told my son just today what I was trying to do. I am honest with my children. I have never believed in lying to them about anything. They were a big help to me when my exhusband threw me out of the house and divorced me when I had cancer.
    I however wouldn't let them take care of me because I will NEVER be a burden on my kids, nor have them take care of me. So, with that being said I am here with all of y'all.
    Trying to do this on my own. I look forward to becoming friend with you as well. If you want to add me on Facebook, you may. I go by Puddin L. Nunley. It will be a picture of just me. Also I'm from Tennessee. I am proud of you and your strengths you had to quit. I look up to all of you who have already kicked the habit. Gives me more courage to push foward.
    Yes some one told me to just suck it up!! It hurt my feelings, but I wasn't going to let that hender me. Well i look forward to hearing from you again take care.

    Laura
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  24. #24
    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thisweekforsure View Post
    Thanks! 10 mg oxy 4 times a day is very minimal opioid and should not be too difficult to quit if you like. You would have withdrawal symptoms but probably the biggest problem would be increased pain. If you can make it through a couple of months, you might find your pain is no worse off the drug than on it. But even though 40 mg total daily is not very much, it can still be difficult to quit whether you taper or go cold turkey. From reading all the stories on this board and from my own experience, I have come to believe that one of the biggest obstacles to quitting painkillers is anxiety. The anticipation and fear of doing without it seem to be bigger than the actual experience, once you make up your mind to do it. Anxiety is a recurring theme on this board. If you can read others' stories and gain a sense of not being alone, that many others have been through the same thing, and that anxiety is a normal part of the desire to get off the drug, it helps put it into perspective.

    Of your other drugs, I would think only the Lexapro, Ibuprofen and Gabapentin are optional and the doctor wouldn't mind if you wanted to quit them. Why would you want to quit them? Because Lexapro can cause weight gain and that is making you unhappy. Gabapentin might simply not be doing you any good, so why continue to take it? You would have to asses and see what you think, but it should not be stopped suddenly, but rather tapered. Ibuprofen may or may not be helping you. As an anti-inflammatory, it's not the best tool in the world and it does come with some risk. So again you would have to assess whether it is actually helping you in real life or not.

    We see people on this board who are on a cocktail of drugs, usually including an antidepressant and an opioid painkiller, combined with various other drugs, and they are on all these drugs because there was a crisis, often an injury or surgery, or maybe even just a psychological crisis such as grief. This happened to me and I was on a list of many drugs. It got me through a few terrible years. Would I have been able to get through those years without them? Maybe, but maybe they would have been rougher even than they were. At a certain point though, we begin to question whether all these drugs are still helping. It is my personal opinion that in many cases they are not, even though in some percentage of people, they do continue to help. It's up to each of us to decide for ourselves.

    I'm not saying that you should consider getting off those other drugs, I am just giving my perspective for you or any readers who lurk but don't post who may be in similar situations. For myself, I decided the time I needed them was past and now I'm really glad I got off them. The antidepressant caused me weight gain also, and that had a huge impact on my life. For me (I cannot speak for others) the unhappiness caused by weight gain outweighed any happiness the antidepressant brought. But everyone is different and there are some people who may require an antidepressant to avoid extreme depression.
    Thank you Thisweeks, I have started the tapering and so far so good. I would love not to need the use of Lexapro. Unfortunately the pros of it out weighs the check nd for me due to how bad the panic attacks get and the psychicosis is causes for me to develop. Thank you and all others for giving me the strenghth and knowledge to keep going. Xx

  25. #25
    Smilingstorm is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thisweekforsure View Post
    Thanks! 10 mg oxy 4 times a day is very minimal opioid and should not be too difficult to quit if you like. You would have withdrawal symptoms but probably the biggest problem would be increased pain. If you can make it through a couple of months, you might find your pain is no worse off the drug than on it. But even though 40 mg total daily is not very much, it can still be difficult to quit whether you taper or go cold turkey. From reading all the stories on this board and from my own experience, I have come to believe that one of the biggest obstacles to quitting painkillers is anxiety. The anticipation and fear of doing without it seem to be bigger than the actual experience, once you make up your mind to do it. Anxiety is a recurring theme on this board. If you can read others' stories and gain a sense of not being alone, that many others have been through the same thing, and that anxiety is a normal part of the desire to get off the drug, it helps put it into perspective.

    Of your other drugs, I would think only the Lexapro, Ibuprofen and Gabapentin are optional and the doctor wouldn't mind if you wanted to quit them. Why would you want to quit them? Because Lexapro can cause weight gain and that is making you unhappy. Gabapentin might simply not be doing you any good, so why continue to take it? You would have to asses and see what you think, but it should not be stopped suddenly, but rather tapered. Ibuprofen may or may not be helping you. As an anti-inflammatory, it's not the best tool in the world and it does come with some risk. So again you would have to assess whether it is actually helping you in real life or not.

    We see people on this board who are on a cocktail of drugs, usually including an antidepressant and an opioid painkiller, combined with various other drugs, and they are on all these drugs because there was a crisis, often an injury or surgery, or maybe even just a psychological crisis such as grief. This happened to me and I was on a list of many drugs. It got me through a few terrible years. Would I have been able to get through those years without them? Maybe, but maybe they would have been rougher even than they were. At a certain point though, we begin to question whether all these drugs are still helping. It is my personal opinion that in many cases they are not, even though in some percentage of people, they do continue to help. It's up to each of us to decide for ourselves.

    I'm not saying that you should consider getting off those other drugs, I am just giving my perspective for you or any readers who lurk but don't post who may be in similar situations. For myself, I decided the time I needed them was past and now I'm really glad I got off them. The antidepressant caused me weight gain also, and that had a huge impact on my life. For me (I cannot speak for others) the unhappiness caused by weight gain outweighed any happiness the antidepressant brought. But everyone is different and there are some people who may require an antidepressant to avoid extreme depression.
    One of the most profound and insightful posts I have read here. So glad Thisweekforsure is helping you! Her post makes me stop in my own tracks.

    On another note, crazy frog is no longer. Please know that there are so many that can help you!

  26. #26
    Gilsmom is offline Member
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    I am sorry I have been off here for awhile.. I had gone out of town and then my husband has been laid off so we are both now in the job hunt.
    How are you doing? Your ex husband sounds like a peach!! What kind of man throws his wife out while going through cancer? Ugh!!! You are pretty tough though.. You still keep getting up and dusting yourself off and moving forward!!
    Talk to you soon.. Trying to catch up here before hubs gets up!
    Hugs
    Mary

  27. #27
    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 09-02-2016 at 11:59 PM.

  28. #28
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    You need to get the hellll out of there..
    Who tells a grown woman she can't talk on the phone?

    Put his a$$ on here
    We will tell him a few things!

    That just makes me so angry.

    You are worth so much more..

    I know it is so hard to really decide what is important in life
    When we are on opiates..
    But getting off of them can be really hard..

    But it is possible..
    When you go through it
    You will feel empowered.
    I promise..

    Can you go to a shelter or something?
    The combination of withdrawals
    And
    Be abused is just going to complicate things ..

    I really feel for you ..
    I will keep you in my prayers..
    Keep posting
    It really does help
    Bette

  29. #29
    Puddin75 is offline New Member
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    Going through my sisters phone. This has broke my heart to see she was calling out for help. I want to thank you all for talking with her and trying to help her. Forgive her for what she did and know she fought til she couldn't any more. I know she would had wanted me to tell you all thank you for trying to reach her. Her pain and suffering has ended. Thank you once again.

  30. #30
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puddin75 View Post
    Going through my sisters phone. This has broke my heart to see she was calling out for help. I want to thank you all for talking with her and trying to help her. Forgive her for what she did and know she fought til she couldn't any more. I know she would had wanted me to tell you all thank you for trying to reach her. Her pain and suffering has ended. Thank you once again.
    What? Am I reading this correctly? Please give us the details?

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