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  1. #1
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Well, I'm so disappointed. I was clean a month. My fiance and I decided to get clean after 2 years Use of percocet and vicodin. When he left out of town and we started using again not long after he returned. We've split up now... and we're still talking and both of us are detoxing again my last half pill were friday at 7pm. Todays sunday about 4 pm. I feel awful and Like my bodys on fire. I used again after being clean about a month and a half 2 to 3 vicodin each day about where I was before... I feel worse this time... I am so ready to be done. Him and I worked so hard... and just wanted 2 for weekend fun... then we went into full blown addiction mode... I'm feeling ashamed. I cant believe withdrawal this time feels worse then after quitting for two years. This is mainly a post to help keep my mind at ease for encouragement. I can't believe I let this happen. This is we split up awhile...we need to both be clean awhile so we dont encourage one another....

  2. #2
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    Hi rainbow, how much were you using? This all sounds too familiar to me (except just a boyfriend) so hopefully I can give you some encouragement. I took my last pill (im also a percocet user) on Friday too. So hopefully you see this soon and we can chat!

  3. #3
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    Hang in there rainbow. My last was Friday around noon average 100 mg Oxy. It's up and down today. It has to be hard to both struggle. If one falls the other may fall. That's a tough situation. Like dealing with two demons. Are you on the same place detoxing or away from each other? We all have set backs. I've tried this a few times but three days is too far in to turn back. Each detox is different to. My last was way harder and I didn't finish. Fight it ou

  4. #4
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Hello, I was using around 4 10s a day but i know there was atleast days with 6 to 10, 10s. We are in separate places because when were together well complain about how bad we feel until one of leaves for more. As of right now I don't feel completely terrible. Very medicated with aleve and hylands. My sweats are at a minimum too. I sweat threw my clothes and sheets yesterday and today. We have 2 three year olds... we each have one with us. Im staying at my mother's with the "flu" and hes at his aunts.

  5. #5
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    You'll be fine soon! I was taking 30-45mg a day total, 15mg-ish at a time. Im day 3 and feel good. Totally doable. Different situation with me not having kids with my boyfriend, but we had the exact same problem, complaining to each other until we got more and couldnt do it together..we broke up and both stopped. We were bad influences on one another. Be strong and get through it!

  6. #6
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Also to add...my last detox was bad. I dont feel it was this bad though... (last time) by day three i went to a park with thE kids for three hours. We relapsed together because we just wanted a little fun on the weekend and ended up getting more and more...like we used too. anyway theres no way in heck I even wanted to move today...

  7. #7
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Questions11 View Post
    You'll be fine soon! I was taking 30-45mg a day total, 15mg-ish at a time. Im day 3 and feel good. Totally doable. Different situation with me not having kids with my boyfriend, but we had the exact same problem, complaining to each other until we got more and couldnt do it together..we broke up and both stopped. We were bad influences on one another. Be strong and get through it!
    What time on Friday? Mine was 7 pm... yes we each have a child. Both from previous people none from the two of us yet we would like too. We want to be clean first and have our wedding being clean...

  8. #8
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    It may not be as bad this time. Each detox I tried differed. Glad you are with mom to help. I have three kids with me. Keep pushing forward. We are all close to the end

  9. #9
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    12pm on Friday and Marva is around the same time! Definitely almost there, keep pushing through. Im hoping to feel even better tomorrow

  10. #10
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Im praying too. Tonight my mother caught my kids flu. so were all sick now. Hopefully i feel good tomorrow. Better atleast

  11. #11
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Well I barely made it last night. Worst night so far. Tossing turning and hot cold sweats. Leg cramps. I still don't want any food... to top it off its my time of the month now too! Im pushing hard to get threw but holy heck... I am feeling
    not so great.

  12. #12
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    I got up and managed some eggs and toasT. Took a multivitamin fish oil l tyrosine two patasium pills an aleve and hylands and I still dont feel like doing anything. At all. My head says yes until I get up then it says no way. On day three... shouldn't I be feeling better. Ugh. I want to sleep so bad!

  13. #13
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    Dat three started out great for me and wound up being the worst. Day four I feel like a new person push through day three I think you'll feel better tomorrow. Keep taking the Aleve as much as directed. Someone told me theraflu helps at night. Praying for u

  14. #14
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Thank you!

  15. #15
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    I took NyQuil the second and third night (not that I want to become dependent on that to sleep) but did get some sleep which helped! Maybe if you're worried to sleep tonight do that and the hylands. I took those last night and didn't have any RLS even though I thought I felt it coming on at like 7pm. I Had that issue a few weeks ago when I tried to stop and haven't this time hopefully the hylands really helped last night!

  16. #16
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    Day four update. It was awesome until now. Crash and in bed. It will pass though. Don't let crashes worry you, they leave faster each time. Can't wait to see what tommorrow brings. Dtr has an appt at 7am. Lord let me wake up like I did today. I've been sleeping great with just 1/2 mg of either Ativan or Xanax. I hate benzos and just a little bit knocks me out for at least six hours. Benadryl does the same and tomorrow I am switching to that because stupid as it sounds, I want to buy a urine test and see it negative for everything

  17. #17
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    That's all great Marva! Like you said, the crashes go faster each time. We're getting a blizzard here in New England lol! So im sitting my ass on my couch, using the heating pad for my back (it's not bad but just a little bit of an annoying feeling I've had all day, not as bad as before) and probably taking my NyQuil one more night so I get another night of sleep. Im sure well feel better tomorrow! We're getting through this!

  18. #18
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Well so far so good I slept a good 30 minutes with my kid. And my aches arw minimal at the moment. Im super hot though. I haven't done much but more then the last few days...I dont have nyquill or xanax or any of that... unfortunately. So far I've been decent today...

  19. #19
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    Welcome welcome! So glad you decided to not give up in yourself. That's the determination u will need. Have u looked into going to any NA meetings? Having people around you that get what you're going through helps keep u motivated. I have 2 kids as well and they thought mommy had the flu. It was a long week and couldn't believe I made it through. It felt like it would never get better but it certainly does. The real work is figuring out why you're using in the first place. I'm sure it started as fun but didn't end up that way. Do you journal or observe what is going on around you when you get the cravings? How we think and feel determines our actions. I had to do a lot of stopping and thinking before I acted to get me through. This site is awesome for thinking out loud.
    My husband and I were addicted to something together 9 years ago when we lost our unborn baby. I'm just dealing with it now and other stuff so my biggest suggestion is to just figure out what causes u to swallow the pill in the firsT place. Good news though. ... We've been through he'll and back but we have stayed together through it all. Wasn't easy but is doable. Marriage can be tough so if you can get through this you can get through anything. Exercising helps. Is started with light yoga to help stretch it out. Mostly stayed IN child's pose to breathe but not I do it 3 times a week. We are rooting for you

  20. #20
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by butteflylove View Post
    Welcome welcome! So glad you decided to not give up in yourself. That's the determination u will need. Have u looked into going to any NA meetings? Having people around you that get what you're going through helps keep u motivated. I have 2 kids as well and they thought mommy had the flu. It was a long week and couldn't believe I made it through. It felt like it would never get better but it certainly does. The real work is figuring out why you're using in the first place. I'm sure it started as fun but didn't end up that way. Do you journal or observe what is going on around you when you get the cravings? How we think and feel determines our actions. I had to do a lot of stopping and thinking before I acted to get me through. This site is awesome for thinking out loud.
    My husband and I were addicted to something together 9 years ago when we lost our unborn baby. I'm just dealing with it now and other stuff so my biggest suggestion is to just figure out what causes u to swallow the pill in the firsT place. Good news though. ... We've been through he'll and back but we have stayed together through it all. Wasn't easy but is doable. Marriage can be tough so if you can get through this you can get through anything. Exercising helps. Is started with light yoga to help stretch it out. Mostly stayed IN child's pose to breathe but not I do it 3 times a week. We are rooting for you
    Thanks for the kind words. It was all fun. And made us feel like better parents with lots of energy. Then we became dependent... because of how bad we felt when we didn't have them...we have hidden our addiction/dependency from everyone.

  21. #21
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Well I woke up this morning feeling >>>>>> and lethargic. My legs are at it again. I really dont want to move... I'm going to give it hell. Hopefully I'll push myself to do something ugh... got maybe 5 hours of sleep with the help of gabapentin 2mg. Starving gunnna force myself to eat something.

  22. #22
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    The gabapentin helps. You can take it every six hours and pain will decrease. You should start getting upswings today. Sleep helps. Keep on trucking through!

  23. #23
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Sleep is hard to come by and the gabapentin i can only take at night makes me drowsy which is why I am using it (for sleep) anyway I went and had lunch with thw fiance and kids and took them to play for about 3 hours and ran to the store and went to see my friends new business. I actually felt good today. Now that I'm home I feel okay cold chills but nothing I cannot handle. Heres to praying the worst is over and I can get a little more sleep tonight! honestly it was a good day... I cannot remeber the last time i actually felt the sun (even though it's pretty chilly) and went out in public and wasn't pissy at every one. I think if not yet weve made it to the other side! How are you today Marva? And you Questions? >> love to hear how you are doing.

  24. #24
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good for you rainbow!!! Pushing thru and having a good day!!!! Glad you felt the sun...it's always makes the day a little easier.

  25. #25
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Thank you sunshine! Yes its been very cold cloudy and rainy Past few days. I'm thankful the first day i felt good enough to get out the sunshine came out! I'll take that as a sign from God saying that hes proud of me and that I'm doing a great job! How are you today sunshine ?

  26. #26
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    Rainbow, sorry I didn't check in last night or this morning before work! I've been GREAT, you're getting there! It's crazy how I really do feel awesome without the percs. I didn't think it would be possible! Still tired at times, but nothing compared to those first few days- gettig sleep at night which I think is helping my mood and attitude during the day! Stay positive, I couldn't be happier to where I already am day 6! You'll understand so soon, I think you already are feeling better too!

  27. #27
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Yes I'm feeling great! Theres been a huge tragedy situation now that has had me crying off and on and anxiety threw the roof tops! But I am feeling really good physical and happy when this "situation" doesn't pop in my head. Which is often and very hard to avoid!!
    anyways... ita good to hear your well! I am not sleeping still barely got 3 hrs last night... too much stress going on and anxiety for sleep... not to mention that it takes awhile after detoxing to get it back too but those things do not help.

  28. #28
    rainbowpoots is offline Member
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    Well day 7 im alright. Been out seeing the fiance last two days hes doing good too. I did have like zero energy by about 4 pm yesterday and still pushed threw it and got things done. Im still taking my gabapentin to sleep but I have two more and hopefully will be able to fall asleep on my own again by then. Im still sluggish and tired but im pushing myself to do things because I know even washing my dishes helps! Hope everyone is good. Also no more night sweats thank goodness! And no cravings.

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