Results 1 to 14 of 14
Like Tree5Likes
  • 1 Post By NeedFreedom
  • 2 Post By Catrina
  • 1 Post By NeedFreedom
  • 1 Post By Greetingsfromhell
So tired of being trapped. Ready to commit.
  1. #1
    NeedFreedom is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    12

    Default So tired of being trapped. Ready to commit.

    Hello all, it's probably the same story you've all heard so many times. I am 28 years old, athlete, started using Oxycodone at 18, took me about 1 year to watch my life fall apart. My wonderful family arranged for me to go live with my sister for a couple months, came home clean, feeling rejuvanated, fell back into buying a couple roxy 30's everyday.....

    After a couple months of flailing and deep depression, I began the suboxone program. They put me on a high dose and I was just happy to slowly regain a life of functionality.

    In the last 8 years, I have used this wretched drug and watched myself become a young man that I was intended to be. I have held my job for 5 years, worked out some demons, and as of this year, fell in love with a girl from Canada who I desperately want to start a life with and be clean for. Also, I have excelled at my job and proven myself to be intelligent, level-headed, rational, and occasionally charming.

    My serious inquiry, that I wish to pose to whomever may read this, is.... "Can I do this and maintain my sanity?" After 8 years of steady use at 12mg? It has to be done this year. Whether that be a gradual taper or an aggressive one. I am ready to do it.

    I understand Robert_325 is no longer offering support, but I will likely try to follow his method. I have gotten a glimpse of the cold Turkey withdrawals, and they are debilitating.

    Please.... someone offer support. Thank You.

  2. #2
    NeedFreedom is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    12

    Default

    My Oxycodone usage was very minimal, I only used it (on and off) for about 6 months before I made the worst decision of my life and sought relief at my nearest Suboxone clinic.

  3. #3
    LaurieLaSalle is offline Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    82

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NeedFreedom View Post
    My Oxycodone usage was very minimal, I only used it (on and off) for about 6 months before I made the worst decision of my life and sought relief at my nearest Suboxone clinic.
    Hello Need Freedom, I am not the expert on sub withdraw however there are several of them on this site and the weekend is always very slow. You should start getting some response by Sunday evening and some fabulous advice. I went the route of methadone some years ago and that my friend was a nightmare to come off of and from what I have read on here sub is easier to come off of than methadone. I want to take the opportunity to congratulate you on all of your accomplishments and also for making this decision. Just hang on for a day or so and like I said you will get some great advice from some people on here. The only thing that I can tell you from what I have learned is 12mls of sub for that many years is quite a bit and I do not recommend you trying to jump cold turkey. Congratulations on meeting a wonderful gal, all the more reason to get this done I am sure. So hang in there my friend, advice is close by.... Wishing you all the best on your journey................ Laurie (another Canadian girl )

  4. #4
    NeedFreedom is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Thank You Laurie. I am so happy to hear, that you were able to beat the clinic and live free. I had gotten this idea in my head that these drugs (bupe and methadone) were designed in such a way, that it changes one's brain chemistry permanently and there is little hope for an 8 year abuser. I have spent the last six years in total comfort and daily serenity.

    But I'm not ready to commit myself to that fate. I want to jump on a plane to Canada and start a new life. I'm a healthy young man with a tenacious work ethic. Even if I have to spend the rest of 2017 fighting depression and PAWS, I I'm ready and have to do it.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-12-2017 at 10:21 AM.
    sistah likes this.

  5. #5
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,100

    Default

    Welcome Freedom!

    Your situation is far from hopeless. In fact, you have the most important ingredient--the desire to do whatever it takes to put this behind you. Ignore the horror stories because there are at least that many (or more) success stories. You're young and determined so do this the right way and you'll be done without it being debilitating.

    12mg is a big dose and you know that. Even though you've been on this high dose for a long time, you can be somewhat more aggressive lowering that dose in the beginning. It'll take some time for the half life to begin to catch up with itself. I would suggest that you reduce your daily dose to 8mg/day and stay there for a week or 10 days. If at that time you're stable and without symptoms, reduce to 6mg/day. If you're stable after 4 days, you can reduce again by another 25% or to 4.5mg/day. I might even round it down to 4mg to see how you do. From there, stick closely to Robert's plan of reducing 25% every 4 days or so but only if you're completely stable. Be patient and don't rush things. Continue to make your reductions down to .25mg (that's 1/4mg) per day when you can either decide to do skip days or do another one or two reductions, and then do the skip days. The lower you can get your dose and doing the skip days will make for a softer landing when you do jump.

    You might also find the Thomas Recipe that's pinned to this Forum or you can search for it and easily find it. It's a list of vitamins and supplements that will help your body begin to recover. The recipe does have benzos on the list but unless you've been taking them, don't begin now. They're listed there mostly for folks who are detoxing cold turkey and even then, it's just not a good idea to add that to the mix. Drink lots of water--I means LOTS of water. Subs tend to dehydrate you. If you don't already, pay more attention to your diet and what'd you're eating. Increase your protein. If you don't already have an exercise routine, now is a good time to start one. All of these things will make you physically stronger and you have a better chance of getting through this with the least discomfort.

    If you stick closely to the plan, there will be some reductions that won't bother you at all while there may be others that you'll have a day or two after a reduction that you may have some mild symptoms that shouldn't interrupt your life. Push through them and you'll stabilize in just a couple of days and be ready for your next reduction.

    Post often. If you're having any problems, the plan can be tweaked by making smaller reductions or waiting longer between reductions. Good luck! You're going to do beautifully.

    Peace,

    Cat
    DorianGray and LaurieLaSalle like this.

  6. #6
    NeedFreedom is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Thank you so much, Cat. I will try to keep up a diary on here. I know it's going to be hard, and I sometimes wonder if there are areas of my brain which will be permanently "dormant" so to speak, but I have just reached that point that people talk about, where they have to do it. The thought of being with my girl and walking her dogs in the morning, is the strongest desire I've ever felt.

    I can't completely curse the last eight years, because it showed me I am capable of functioning, learning skills, being there for family, and winning the heart of a woman... I just have to maintain who I am, whilst letting this mind-altering narcotic leave my body. Thanks again, to both of you.

  7. #7
    NeedFreedom is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Her name is Anne-Marie, Laurie. She is the reason I'm here. 5 months of pure joy and love. She flew down here in December. We had such an incredible week.

    It's probably not healthy to be in this mindset, but I would do anything for this girl. But even if we can't maintain contact, it's time for me to live without this burden. It's time to taper off and be done with it.

  8. #8
    LaurieLaSalle is offline Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    82

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NeedFreedom View Post
    Her name is Anne-Marie, Laurie. She is the reason I'm here. 5 months of pure joy and love. She flew down here in December. We had such an incredible week.

    It's probably not healthy to be in this mindset, but I would do anything for this girl. But even if we can't maintain contact, it's time for me to live without this burden. It's time to taper off and be done with it.
    Hello Need Freedom, First of all when I told you I was chained to a methadone clinic it was like being in jail but yes my friend getting off of it or subs is absolutely possible and from what I am told sub is way easier than methadone and it in no way changes the brains chemistry forever. Of course it does while you are on just like any form of prescription meds but believe me when I tell you that once off of it and completely withdrawn you do get back to your old self, takes a little time but you get your life back. As for you girl Anne-Marie she sounds lovely and you are obviously in love, what a perfect reason to get well. You are right when you say one thing though is no matter what happens if you are going to do it, do it for you first. When I jumped off of methadone my girls had been at me for a long time to get off of it but ultimately I jumped for me, I could not live like that anymore with those liquid handcuffs and it was the best decision I have ever made. Sadly a few years later I fell back into opiates but recently got back off of those and there was no way I was going back to any clinic to do it, I just went through the withdrawals and am feeling better every day. I wish you all the best with your taper, looks like Cat gave you some perfect advice. If it is meant to be with Anne-Marie that would be fabulous for you, I just would like to see you do this for you ...Wishing you great success with this.. Laurie

  9. #9
    NeedFreedom is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Thanks Laurie. I needed to read that. So happy to hear that you are clean and improving everyday.
    LaurieLaSalle likes this.

  10. #10
    Greetingsfromhell is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    33

    Post Freedom

    Just wanted to say how happy I am for you that you're doing this. You have already taken the biggest step. You have the WILL to do this. As soon as I came to the same realization I knew I had already won and nothing was going to stop me. I can tell just by reading your posts that you are an intelligent and thoughtful person. You will succeed and don't let anything stop you. I felt the same exact way about subs as you did, that it was the worst decision of my life but at the same time I couldn't be mad either because it allowed me to excel and attain success in many other areas of life...But there comes a time and a place where you figure out that it's not helping you anymore, and the reason for that is because you don't need it anymore! I think your head is absolutely in the right place. Keep posting and know that I'll be watching, and rooting for you 100%.

    All the best,
    Greetings
    LaurieLaSalle likes this.

  11. #11
    kathysmith123 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    3

    Default

    Need Freedom:

    That is a huge step to decide you are ready to quit subs. It is totally possible!! It looks like you are already getting excellent advice on here so I won't even begin to try to tell you anything different. However, I read something in your posts that I was just compelled to comment on. You said that you want to get clean for this lovely lady in your life, and that you would do anything for her. That is beautiful, please don't take this the wrong way, because I am truly happy that you have found love, but you have to get sober for you, no one else but you. Of course you want to be the best you that you can be for everyone else, but getting sober has to be something that you do for yourself. I know someone who went to rehab after his wife left him, they were working things out, he wanted her back, started going to counseling, built his entire recovery on her, he was sober for a while, and then found out she had had an affair, and it shattered his world and he started using again because he had built his sobriety on her. His reason to be sober was for her, so when his view of her was shattered, his reason to be sober was gone too. After another year of hard use, he got clean again, this time for himself. He is working on his marriage, but has now gotten sober for himself. I only point this out to try to help you, so that this is the last time you have to get clean.

  12. #12
    NeedFreedom is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Just wanted to check in with you guys since you took the time to show your support for me. I am fighting the good fight. I am somewhat stable at 2 mg's per day. (I began tapering around the same time I posted)

    I have a new friend now who is with me everyday.... depression. Boy oh boy. There are times when I feel like laying down on a dirty floor for days and letting myself go, but I think about the joy I will feel when I'm better. I go fishing more often now. I have kind of rediscovered the joy of having an organized tackle box and figuring out how to make fish bite.

    Thank you guys so much. Love, -JT.

  13. #13
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Need Freedom

    I was feeling pretty desperate this time only a day ago. Bupe seemed attractive. I hung in there.

    What you're doing is courageous. I have no direct experience with Suboxone, but a close relative does. He's ok with it all, though he has tried to detox. It just takes time, I think. He wasn't having any symptoms for around three days, then it started to hit him.

    I don't think I could handle it, or methadone. The four days I've been away from Fentanyl have been wicked. Again, what you're doing is courageous. Hang in there!

  14. #14
    Greetingsfromhell is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    33

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NeedFreedom View Post
    Just wanted to check in with you guys since you took the time to show your support for me. I am fighting the good fight. I am somewhat stable at 2 mg's per day. (I began tapering around the same time I posted)

    I have a new friend now who is with me everyday.... depression. Boy oh boy. There are times when I feel like laying down on a dirty floor for days and letting myself go, but I think about the joy I will feel when I'm better. I go fishing more often now. I have kind of rediscovered the joy of having an organized tackle box and figuring out how to make fish bite.

    Thank you guys so much. Love, -JT.
    J, how you doing bro? Still tapering? Congrats on getting down to 2mg! That's awesome. Hopefully you keep on marching...know how bad you want to this. Tapering is tough. In 2 days it'll be 5 months clean for me and I think I am finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm getting closer. When you finally jump off a micro dose, your experience should differ greatly from the hell I've been living. In fact I think I went to hell and they sent me back! I must be too good. When your time comes I'm guessing you might have to bear down for 2 weeks. But don't worry, you will get through it easily. Just think of us! When the time comes let me know, I have plenty of recommendations for you based on what I've learned. Sometime soon- when I'm finally out of the woods I'm planning to write about everything I learned so that it can help people like us. Anyways hope you're doing well brother. Stay strong. Much love.

    Greetings

Similar Threads

  1. Terrified of withdrawals and feeling trapped
    By Maggie1976 in forum Need to Talk?
    Replies: 107
    Last Post: 01-01-2018, 04:35 PM
  2. Some Inspiration for those trapped in Oxy-hell
    By silverlining1 in forum Featured Conditions
    Replies: 84
    Last Post: 11-22-2014, 06:07 PM
  3. trapped need advice or at least someone who cares a little
    By shamrock88 in forum Need to Talk?
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 10-15-2013, 11:46 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22