Results 1 to 16 of 16
Like Tree20Likes
  • 6 Post By P15
  • 1 Post By Deenie W
  • 1 Post By P15
  • 1 Post By P15
  • 1 Post By FiveYearsFromNow
  • 1 Post By P15
  • 2 Post By Ricky71
  • 1 Post By P15
  • 2 Post By Ricky71
  • 2 Post By P15
  • 1 Post By P15
  • 1 Post By P15
Starting day 7 without opiates
  1. #1
    P15
    P15 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default Starting day 7 without opiates

    First, have been reading new and old threads throughout this whole first week and I finally decided it was time to make one myself to have something to look back on some day. I would also like to thank anyone that participates in these threads as you have lent me a great deal of strength to make it this far.

    The first time I ever took hydrocodone I was in ninth grade and was given them after getting a tooth pulled. Boy did I love the way they made me feel. From that point I only took them on rare occasions, sometimes years in between so I never really considered myself to have a problem. However, when I was 20 I came across a CHEAP, and reliable means of getting 10/325mg norcos. I started by just taking two at work in the mornings to give me a lift and start the day out on a good foot. After about a year I was taking over 100 a month. That escalated quickly, and after a while it was 180 a month. (Would have been more but couldn't get my hands on any luckily) I was to the point I could do anything without them. When I would go through those 180 before the month was up I'd be in withdrawals for a few days until I could get more. During that time I would lock myself up at home, feel miserable, shut everyone out, and hate myself for the state I've caused myself to live.

    Finally, almost a week ago I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I was paying $300+ a month to feel good for a week, okay for a week, then struggled just to feel okay for a third. That would of course be followed up by the dreaded fourth week from hell. Well, after 2 years I can tell you that this is my last one.

    I was sick of lying to everyone about just "not feeling good". Sick of having to plan everything around these stupid pills. Sick of being numb emotionally. I got away with it for so long because I was a functioning addict. I have a good job and could afford the cost. Knowing it really wasn't causing an immediate effect on my life is one of the reasons it went on for so long. Also, nobody else knew or knows about the struggle I'm dealing with so there was nobody to tell me what an idiot I was being. What if I want to travel some day and I can't fly anywhere because I can't bring pills? What if my liver fails? What would I have done with all the money I spent on these? What if my girlfriend found out? What if I get arrested? Will I be around to have kids? These were all things I was asking myself throughout the past several "fourth weeks".

    All of those questions hit me like a load of bricks 6 days ago. I wanted to make it my new year's resolution to get clean but then I realized how great it would be to be CLEAN for the holidays for the first time in years. I am determined never to touch the little devils again. If there is anyone else out there struggling I'd just like to say WE CAN DO IT!

    I won't lie... This week has been hell. But I'm going on day seven so I know I have the worst of it is behind me. I actually got at least 6 hours of sleep last night! I feel as though my head is coming out of a fog. No I am not at 100% yet and I'm willing to accept it will be a while until I may be, if ever. I have been concentrating on my "wins". My biggest one being yesterday when I turned down the monthly 180! I literally cried I was so happy. Almost tearing up now thinking about it. That was the best AND hardest thing I have ever done for myself but boy does it feel frickin good!

    I have read forums on this site every day since this has started and wanted to put my story out there. I could really use some encouragement and people to talk to because like I said, nobody knows about my struggle. I also want to be here to help and encourage others, and let them know if I'm seeing the light at the end of the opiate tunnel, they can too.

    What a horribly terrific week! Here's to more terrific ones!

    Love and regards,
    P15

  2. #2
    Deenie W is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    16

    Default

    Good for you P15!!! You're awesome, glad you came to a great conclusion!! Sounds like your withdrawals haven't been to bad if you're already sleeping 6 hours, that's super!! I'm 44 days off prescribed methadone & oxycodone. It has been hell for sure!! And I'm left with severe pain from 5 spine surgeries. Have bad neuropathy, but even tho I'm suffering horribly, I'm glad I'm off, after 20 years!!
    You sound very positive and sounds like you're really thinking about your future. Good for you!! You hang in there, keep up the good work!!
    Deenie
    DravenDomnq likes this.

  3. #3
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    1,116

    Default

    Hey P15, welcome to the forums! I saw your thread yesterday, but didn't get a chance to respond to it, and wanted to make sure to do so today. First off, GOOD ON YOU! Sounds like you have a solid plan, and know what you want to do. One thing that really helped me with my last tapers and finally making the jump was reading and incorporating aspects of the Thomas Recipe Thread (link included) into my routines. Wanted to share it with you in case there's anything you can pull from it to help you. Keep up the great work, and hang in there, you're definitely not alone here!

    https://www.drugs.com/forum/featured...wal-35169.html

  4. #4
    P15
    P15 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Thanks for the replies Deenie and Draven. Deenie that's awesome you can be clean after so many years and is truly inspiring especially with the added pain. I'm lucky in a way that no doctor has ever told me I needed them. Draven I've read the Thomas recipe many times in the past during WD and I've always taken some of the advice. It really does work wonders for anyone that may be struggling and I'd recommend it in a heartbeat.

    Today is day 8 for me, and I'm pretty sure I slept 8 hours last night! I'm super glad it's Friday because this has arguably been the worst work week ever. I'm still feeling super run down and anxious but it's getting a tiny bit better everyday. This weekend I'm going to try and start getting a regular exercise routine going and in turn, some endorphins. I also want to go see some friends as my loneliness has been at an all time high. I catch myself craving and trying to convince myself it's okay to get more pills but I quickly interrupt those thoughts with whatever I can. I still am not able to stomach food very easily as I have always had a weak stomach and haven't eaten without the drug inside me for two+ years. Does anyone know about when I could maybe expect that to return? I'd really like to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner with some of the extra money I've saved.

    Thank you everyone and good luck!
    DravenDomnq likes this.

  5. #5
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    1,116

    Default

    Ok, that's good! It was about day 12 for me before I could really eat a real meal, but I think everybody is different in their recovery. A lot I think depends on what we've done to ourselves in the past, and what junk we have to get out of our body. Now that it's been a day over 3 weeks I still have good days and bad days, but overall every single day is better! Keep doing what you're doing because you're doing great!

  6. #6
    P15
    P15 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Today is day 9 and boy what a difference each day is making now. I'm sleeping pretty normally, starting to eat a little bit at a time, and even went and saw some friends last night. I did wake up today with a huuge craving as they always seem to be worse in the morning. It's really becoming just more of a mental battle at this point. One you have to be determined to win! I almost can't listen to my brain sometimes and just have to go with what my heart feels. It is getting easier though, and I'm starting to think about them less.
    DravenDomnq likes this.

  7. #7
    FiveYearsFromNow is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    48

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by P15 View Post
    Today is day 9 and boy what a difference each day is making now. I'm sleeping pretty normally, starting to eat a little bit at a time, and even went and saw some friends last night. I did wake up today with a huuge craving as they always seem to be worse in the morning. It's really becoming just more of a mental battle at this point. One you have to be determined to win! I almost can't listen to my brain sometimes and just have to go with what my heart feels. It is getting easier though, and I'm starting to think about them less.
    Hey P -- I'm on day 7 myself of just a few months of norco but got up to 20 pills a day-- eeps!-- your story is inspiring and just thought you should know that you reached out through the vaccuum of space and the internet and helped me out when I was feeling bad and wanting some hydro. Good luck to us!

    5Years
    DravenDomnq likes this.

  8. #8
    P15
    P15 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Glad I could help! It's strange how seeing faceless people write about their story can really help and inspire. It's something everyone needs when fighting addiction. Today is day 10 for me and I ate like a pig yesterday. Holy cow, I'm not sure if my body was trying to make up for the last 9 days of starvation or what but it was amazing. Everyone stay strong as everything does get better slowly! You have to fight through the darkness to find the light. I'm seeing that light and I cannot wait until I get there.
    DravenDomnq likes this.

  9. #9
    P15
    P15 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Day 11. My god I'm having the worst cravings ever today. I even almost texted my guy but managed to get the strength to put the phone down. Physically this has gotten way easier as I almost feel 100% in those regards. The mental game is what's getting me at this point. I wake up and they're the first thing I think about. My mind instantly starts trying to justify that's it's okay to get a few more and it's becoming a tough fight. I have to be stronger willed now than before as I know I can get them with one easy text. My mind is getting tired from the battle but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger I suppose.

  10. #10
    Adt1425 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    2

    Default Today is my 7th day

    Life is funny man. I needed a lil inspiration this morning and I seen to your post.y situation is very simular to your's, except I went from oxycotton to suboxone. To see you write the same questions ive asked myself a hundred times got me. Welln i won't ask myself those questions anymore. Thanks for the motivation brother.

  11. #11
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,706

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by P15 View Post
    Day 11. My god I'm having the worst cravings ever today. I even almost texted my guy but managed to get the strength to put the phone down. Physically this has gotten way easier as I almost feel 100% in those regards. The mental game is what's getting me at this point. I wake up and they're the first thing I think about. My mind instantly starts trying to justify that's it's okay to get a few more and it's becoming a tough fight. I have to be stronger willed now than before as I know I can get them with one easy text. My mind is getting tired from the battle but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger I suppose.
    Cravings are completely normal, especially so early in recovery, they will become less frequent as more time passes. I highly encouraged you to delete "your guy's" number from your phone! Stay STRONG and stay POSITIVE! Best of luck to you... God bless us all!

    PS
    "One pill is too many and a thousand pills will never be enough"
    DravenDomnq and Lvg nghtmare like this.

  12. #12
    P15
    P15 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Adt1425 I'm glad I could provide that! That is one of the main reasons I started this thread. This is not an easy thing to handle all in your own head. It makes it quite a bit easier if you take the time to type out or say what you're feeling. Even if you don't know the people you're talking to it just makes you think about where you are, how you got there, and where you want to be. I personally need constant reminders why I quit in the first place and of the circle of abuse and misery I'm trying desperately to escape. I feel as though I have one foot out and that circle is doing everything in its power to keep the rest of me in.

    Ricky, thank you for the response and the insight on the cravings. Even though I know they are going to be there it helps to have someone tell me it's normal and all part of the process. When it comes to the number, unfortunately, I have it memorized and deleting it wouldn't do me any good. I am curious though, where that quote came from? I have seen it many times and have said it to myself countless times over the last 11 days.
    DravenDomnq likes this.

  13. #13
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,706

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by P15 View Post
    Adt1425 I'm glad I could provide that! That is one of the main reasons I started this thread. This is not an easy thing to handle all in your own head. It makes it quite a bit easier if you take the time to type out or say what you're feeling. Even if you don't know the people you're talking to it just makes you think about where you are, how you got there, and where you want to be. I personally need constant reminders why I quit in the first place and of the circle of abuse and misery I'm trying desperately to escape. I feel as though I have one foot out and that circle is doing everything in its power to keep the rest of me in.

    Ricky, thank you for the response and the insight on the cravings. Even though I know they are going to be there it helps to have someone tell me it's normal and all part of the process. When it comes to the number, unfortunately, I have it memorized and deleting it wouldn't do me any good. I am curious though, where that quote came from? I have seen it many times and have said it to myself countless times over the last 11 days.
    I believe that quote/saying is from Alcoholics Anonymous regarding "One drink is too many, etc..." but I could be wrong? It definitely holds true for both, don't you think?

    Keep on keepin on, you've made it too far now! No more day ones!
    DravenDomnq and Lvg nghtmare like this.

  14. #14
    P15
    P15 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Day 12. Feels like it's been a lifetime since I stopped. I know I can do this though. If not for myself I need to think of others. The mental battle is arguably worse than the physical WD originally. Knowing one little thing can end any suffering I may have TEMPORARILY is weighing on me heavily. It is getting easier so I just need to continue to stick it out. I cannot wait until I get to a point where I don't think about them anymore. What a life that will be.
    Lvg nghtmare and DravenDomnq like this.

  15. #15
    P15
    P15 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Day 13. I'm feeling much more awake today and willing to take on life. It's weird the rollercoaster of emotions and feelings that this puts you through. One day you feel the whole weight of the world on your shoulders and the next day you almost in a way feel better than you ever did while on the drugs. I haven't gone this long without them in years and it feels great! Almost made it to two weeks! I've noticed that time is finally starting to move a little faster, which helps because these have possibly been the longest 12 days of my life. I'm still going strong and fighting temptation every second. I encourage anyone dealing with addiction to start this process as soon as possible. There will never be an easier time than right this moment. It's a scary and miserable process at times but in the end you will come out on top, with your life intact, and stronger than ever.

    Good luck everyone!
    DravenDomnq likes this.

  16. #16
    P15
    P15 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Day 14. When I wake up tomorrow it will have been two weeks. Feels amazing having made it this far. I also never would have guessed I would feel as good as I do this early. Anyone can do this! It may take a little more time than you expect (or less) to feel good again but it can be done. You have to get in a mindset where you just will yourself through it all. You have to be fully committed or else it won't happen. I am going to take a little break from this site as at this point I think it kind of triggers me more than anything. I will check in again in the future though!

    Lots of love and thanks,
    P15
    DravenDomnq likes this.

Similar Threads

  1. Starting Day 10....... Again.......Suggestions
    By chart38 in forum Prescription Drug Addiction
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 10-10-2018, 03:20 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22