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Suboxone Jump - I'm Taking My Life Back
  1. #61
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Just looking back on yesterday and reflecting on how sad/dark everything felt. Today is much better. Just goes to show how much havoc these chemicals can wreak on your nervous system. It’s like, over the years Suboxone built a neurological wall around me (I think Beef called it a lead suit). And now, that wall is being deconstructed.
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  2. #62
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    It's a process buddy. Lvg told me early on that we didn't get there in a day, so it's gonna take time for our bodies to heal. It's good days mixed with bad. But eventually they'll all be good. Whenever you get those down days just get on here and whine. We're all here for you!!

    Have a great day!!
    Beef
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  3. #63
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Thanks, Beef!

    Day 13 - evening update. Today was a busy, busy, busy day at work. It definitely kept my mind off of things. The only real gripe today was the chills, and they were manageable. Really hoping that I have another semi-decent night of sleep. Keeping my fingers crossed.

    My psyche was good today...which is a nice improvement from yesterday. Even though it was a busy day, with busy work, I feel like my brain/soul took a nice day off today. Ahhh.

  4. #64
    Walkley822 is offline Member
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    Hi guys, I’m new here but I want to congratulate you for tapering down from 16mgs+. That’s a huge accomplishment and I’m in the middle of that now at 2.1mgs. I need to ask tho, how in the world do I start a new thread of my own? I feel so dumb I can’t figure this out!
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  5. #65
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Default Day 14! Party at my place!

    Well, maybe not a party...but you know what I mean! Wow I can't believe it's been 14 days since taking the jump. I can remember day 2 and thinking, "there's no way I'm gonna make it". Well here I am on day 14 and I'm feeling great about it. For anybody who is reading this, just know that it does get so much better. In hindsight, I feel like I've been sleepwalking all of these years. Which leads me to my next realization.

    Just this morning I realized that I've never been a sober husband to my wife...and even worse I've never been a sober father to my son. Over the past ten years I've neglected to be emotionally present for some of the most important moments of my life. Sure...I was there physically...but my mind was always thinking about Suboxone. Always. I can remember one time we went on a road trip, and I actually forgot my meds at home. We had to turn around and drive two hours back. Little stuff like that adds up, but it's the big things that I've missed out on the most. I struggle to recall vivid memories of my son's birth, his first steps, etc... all of that is hazy. It's like I was a ghost.

    I look back at all of the pictures that we've taken over the past years...and there's just a deadness in my eyes. I can remember days where my wife would say, "It's like you have no emotions". She was right...and I can't imagine what it's been like to live with me for the past 10 years.

    No more Mr. DeadEyes...
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  6. #66
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Woo hoo!! I'm here for the party. Got my boombox and gonna blast some Motley Crue "Dr. Feelgood" for you buddy!! Congratulations!! You're doing great. Keep racking up those clean days buddy! It keeps getting better!!

    *God I'm getting old. Did I really just say boombox???*

  7. #67
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    10-

    First congrats on two weeks! I know that's not easy.
    Secondly, your comment struck me like a dagger. I have been feeling exactly the same way. I am just worn out passing on vacations because I wouldn't be able to get meds (illegally since I never had a legit scrip). Or totally feeling like a loser since my 14 year old son sees me laying in bed detoxing and lying right to his face telling him his dad has the "flu". By now I'm sure he thinks I must be the most sick prone person he's ever known.
    I need to right so many wrongs. But first things first, need to stay on the path of sobriety.

    Thank you for sharing that. Although you can't get those years back, you have put yourself in an incredible spot to come alive and bloom right in front of your wife and the ones who call you Dad. Very proud of you. Tomorrow marks the 14 day point for me but I need to stay strong today.

  8. #68
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Hey Beef no worries, I call it a boombox too. In my first post to this thread, I mistakenly said that I’m 33 years old...I’m actually 34 and I can, sometimes, find myself identifying with the good ol’ days of hip hop and boombox’s.

    Max - glad to see you’re pushing hard to not give in to the beast. What you say is true...we have plenty of time ahead of us to right the wrongs. Each of us has a life story, and this is just part of it. I am more hopeful each day that sobriety will be a permanent fixture in my life. I would hope that through these struggles we will be better, stronger, and smarter when it’s all said and done.

    Keep stepping in the right direction! If you’re clean today, there’s no reason why you can’t be clean tomorrow. You’ve got this!!

    Today is going good. I actually drove home for lunch and made a sandwich. My appetite has been re-awakening lately.

  9. #69
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Day 14 - evening update. I think today was probably the most “normal” day yet. Nothing terribly exciting, except for the obvious 2 week milestone!

    A little bit of chills and some back pain today, but super manageable with Ibuprofen. Didn’t have time to eat breakfast this morning, but I did get a good lunch in. Heading home now to stuff my face with some homemade chili.

    Mmmm chili.
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  10. #70
    Walkley822 is offline Member
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    I’m really happy for you 10years39days! You made it. That’s unbelievable. You should feel like you’re on top of the world and so proud of yourself. I can’t wait to be in the same shoes as you. Unfortunately I still have quite a ways to go so I’m going to live vicariously through you for now. P.S. We are the same age.
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  11. #71
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walkley822 View Post
    I’m really happy for you 10years39days! You made it. That’s unbelievable.... P.S. We are the same age.
    Hey Walkley! Thanks for dropping in! Man yes it does feel good to be at this point. Just continuing to focus on today, not getting too far ahead of myself, and making health a priority.

    I was SO worried that I wouldn’t be able to function without the Suboxone. Just a couple of weeks ago, the thought alone sent me into a fit of panic. It’s amazing how much control these things take over your brain.

    I’m happy for you! Keep up the good work and continue your journey! That’s crazy to think we’re the same age...I wonder how many other 34 yr olds are in our shoes. I can only hope that they find their way to this forum. Without it, I don’t think I would’ve jumped so soon, which could’ve delayed or prevented any semblance of success.

  12. #72
    Walkley822 is offline Member
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    The panic is so real. Quick story - I went to fill my sub script on Xmas eve and the pharmacist wouldn’t fill it because the script was missing an actual date. A date! I couldn’t believe the dr would make such a big mistake and I couldn’t get a hold of him to verify the script since he was off for the next two weeks and I swear I had an out of body experience in the pharmacy. I eventually got a hold of this doctor after several hours but WOAH. So the thought of jumping in feb has me rattled. Actually, the mere thought of my overall taper gives me a lot of anxiety. I’m not sure how I’ll make it through January. I know i have to be patient but my taper has been an uphill battle every step of the way. I’m kicking myself for not quitting ct. I’m whining, sorry.
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  13. #73
    Wavision is offline Member
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    Congrats on your progress, that's awesome. By the way im 34 as well haha.

    I just started my taper yesterday and have a thread in the suboxone sub forum.

    I actually started taking subs because they gave me a high. I have no previous opiate addiction or anything like that. Just have been taking this stuff for about 5 years. The most I ever got up to in a day was about 4mg. I'm wondering if those factors will let my taper and jump be a little easier....

    By the way what amino acids do you take? I would like to get some. By the sounds of it I should get immodium as well?

    Any other info or tips you have?

    Once again congrats on your awesome progress.
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  14. #74
    answerismoney is offline New Member
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    Hope im in the right place in site to ask everyone if im doing right?On 12-20-17 doc cut my methadone out and told me to taper off in 4 weeks.At that time gave me scrip for 90 -15 mg oxycodone.
    i am 63 yrs old been on methadone 10mg. 5 to 6 a day for 10 yrs.Its been rough.I now 1-4-18 am still having withdrawal?Took my last methadone pill 5 days ago.Been taking up to 5 oxycodone 15mg pills a day.Only take when i need it i feel.
    I go back to Doc on 1-8-18.I now on 1-4-18 have about 38 15 mg oxycodone pills left.Am i taking too many of my oxycodone pills?Will my Pain Doc be mad?Cut me completely off?Having head problems with this.Should i be having this much withdrawal from methadone now?Please help really confused if this is withdrawal or what?thanks to all.
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  15. #75
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wavision View Post
    Congrats on your progress, that's awesome. By the way im 34 as well haha.

    I just started my taper yesterday and have a thread in the suboxone sub forum.

    I actually started taking subs because they gave me a high. I have no previous opiate addiction or anything like that. Just have been taking this stuff for about 5 years. The most I ever got up to in a day was about 4mg. I'm wondering if those factors will let my taper and jump be a little easier....

    By the way what amino acids do you take? I would like to get some. By the sounds of it I should get immodium as well?

    Any other info or tips you have?

    Once again congrats on your awesome progress.
    Hey Wavision,

    Congrats on your progress! The amino acid is called DLPA. I don’t have the bottle in front of me, but it was the cheapest one on Amazon with the highest ratings. It’s amazing stuff.

    Other tips. Drink a lot of fluids...Gatorade is great but try to drink at least an equal amount of water. Liquid Imodium is critical. My stomach was wrecked for the first 10 days, and the Imodium helped prevent emergencies...if ya know what I mean. But for now I can actually sense that my stomach and intestines are healing. Haven’t taken a real dose of that stuff for at least 3 days.

    If you have bad RLS and chills, try getting Ondansetron. You can Google it and figure out if you want to do that or not. It was immensely helpful for me. Hylands Restful Legs is also great for restless leg syndrome.

    When you can eat, try to eat well. Your body (and soul) is healing so you’ll need good nutrition to stay ahead of this thing. At the least, take a daily vitamin to help supplement some of those nutrients.

    You can get Potassium,very important, by simply eating a banana every day. It’s good for you...can’t go wrong there.

    Support: use this forum as often as you need. I’ve realized that in order to get feedback and advice, you should make a new ha it of posting daily. Don’t be afraid to complain....the people in here want to help you. Consider them as your subject matter experts and trusted advisors. Your best interest will always be considered the #1 priority.
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  16. #76
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by answerismoney View Post
    Hope im in the right place in site to ask everyone if im doing right?On 12-20-17 doc cut my methadone out and told me to taper off in 4 weeks.At that time gave me scrip for 90 -15 mg oxycodone.
    i am 63 yrs old been on methadone 10mg. 5 to 6 a day for 10 yrs.Its been rough.I now 1-4-18 am still having withdrawal?Took my last methadone pill 5 days ago.Been taking up to 5 oxycodone 15mg pills a day.Only take when i need it i feel.
    I go back to Doc on 1-8-18.I now on 1-4-18 have about 38 15 mg oxycodone pills left.Am i taking too many of my oxycodone pills?Will my Pain Doc be mad?Cut me completely off?Having head problems with this.Should i be having this much withdrawal from methadone now?Please help really confused if this is withdrawal or what?thanks to all.
    Hi answer,

    I'd recommend creating your own thread and let the cavalry come in to help. I'm not a methadone expert...but its hard to imagine that you'd be experiencing acute withdrawals while still on a medium-size dose of short acting opiates. I might be way off though.

    Good to have you here!! Keep posting and reading!!!!
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  17. #77
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Homemade chili!!! I'm so jelly right now!! Glad you're doing so well!! Congratulations my friend. It only gets better!!

    *I too was 34 when I stumbled here. Just had a b-day so now I'm an old soul at 35*

    Have a great day bud!!
    Beef
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  18. #78
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by answerismoney View Post
    Hope im in the right place in site to ask everyone if im doing right?On 12-20-17 doc cut my methadone out and told me to taper off in 4 weeks.At that time gave me scrip for 90 -15 mg oxycodone.
    i am 63 yrs old been on methadone 10mg. 5 to 6 a day for 10 yrs.Its been rough.I now 1-4-18 am still having withdrawal?Took my last methadone pill 5 days ago.Been taking up to 5 oxycodone 15mg pills a day.Only take when i need it i feel.
    I go back to Doc on 1-8-18.I now on 1-4-18 have about 38 15 mg oxycodone pills left.Am i taking too many of my oxycodone pills?Will my Pain Doc be mad?Cut me completely off?Having head problems with this.Should i be having this much withdrawal from methadone now?Please help really confused if this is withdrawal or what?thanks to all.
    Hey answerismoney. Welcome to the forum. Id definately start your own thread like 10years suggested. There members can track your posts, and leave advice and encouragement all in one place for you on your journey. I don't know much about mdone so I'm not gonna attempt to give you any advice on a subject I'm unfamiliar with. But there are many members who have fought that battle and come out the other side. Someone will be by I'm sure to give you more advice than I can.

    Start that thread so we can give you the personalized support you need.
    Welcome again and have a great day!!
    Beef
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  19. #79
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    Homemade chili!!! I'm so jelly right now!! Glad you're doing so well!! Congratulations my friend. It only gets better!!

    *I too was 34 when I stumbled here. Just had a b-day so now I'm an old soul at 35*

    Have a great day bud!!
    Beef
    Did you sign up for AARP yet? Such a good deal for the elderly. lol. Sorry it's so cold there. What's normal for this time of the year in N GA? I have some friends in Atlanta that aren't too happy with how crazy the weather has been there.

  20. #80
    eazzye is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 10years39days View Post
    Did you sign up for AARP yet? Such a good deal for the elderly. lol. Sorry it's so cold there. What's normal for this time of the year in N GA? I have some friends in Atlanta that aren't too happy with how crazy the weather has been there.
    i’m in louisiana and its in the 20’s at night. i can’t deal. i feel bad for atl.
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  21. #81
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Day 15 - morning update. Not a whole lot to report. Yesterday and last night was probably the most "normal" I've felt in a while. I went to bed very late, but only because I was on a timeline trying to get some work done. The past few weeks has put a damper on my ability to complete tasks, so I've got some catch up to do. But really I should've gone to bed earlier. I think it was like 1am. But I slept good until around 6:30am. Woke up, feel fine.

    Keeping my fingers crossed because so far today I haven't felt the chills. I'll post an update this afternoon and see if that holds true.

  22. #82
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    AARP. LOL. Good for you big guy. Yeah we're about an hour and a half north of atl. At the base of the blue ridge mountains. Been in the single digits and teens at night. Right now it's 20 with a 20 mph wind. Back in the beginning of December when that storm whipped through we got 13". Been a crazy winter so far.

    Let's see normal...... We usually get 1-2 good snows a year. And it's a little colder than normal now but not terrible. People in GA just don't know how to deal with cold. As soon as it gets cold all the milk, bread, and eggs disappear from the stores

    Like they think there's gonna be a shortage. It's kinda funny.
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  23. #83
    eazzye is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    AARP. LOL. Good for you big guy. Yeah we're about an hour and a half north of atl. At the base of the blue ridge mountains. Been in the single digits and teens at night. Right now it's 20 with a 20 mph wind. Back in the beginning of December when that storm whipped through we got 13". Been a crazy winter so far.

    Let's see normal...... We usually get 1-2 good snows a year. And it's a little colder than normal now but not terrible. People in GA just don't know how to deal with cold. As soon as it gets cold all the milk, bread, and eggs disappear from the stores

    Like they think there's gonna be a shortage. It's kinda funny.
    people in GA? try LOUISIANA, we’re used to warm temps year round basically. everyone here is freaking out, and we had snow for the first time in almost 10 years with the possibility of more. i have some fam that lives in atl, and they’re pretty seasoned with the cold weather compared to us louisianians!

  24. #84
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Yeah people are funny, and I think the media probably factors in too. When you start using the term "bomb cyclone" I'm sure people get a little bit antsy. It seems like each year they cook up a new way to say "potentially bad storm". Watch next year they'll give it a new name like "Devils' Tempest" or something creepy like that. Heck let's give people nightmares, go all out. :-)

  25. #85
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by eazzye View Post
    people in GA? try LOUISIANA, we’re used to warm temps year round basically. everyone here is freaking out, and we had snow for the first time in almost 10 years with the possibility of more. i have some fam that lives in atl, and they’re pretty seasoned with the cold weather compared to us louisianians!
    Yeah Louisiana getting snow sounds nuts! That's bonkers...weather is getting wild over there on/near the East coast. I'm feeling pretty lucky because last year around this time we were snowed in and it was bitter cold. My body wouldn't be happy with that.
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  26. #86
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by eazzye View Post
    people in GA? try LOUISIANA, we’re used to warm temps year round basically. everyone here is freaking out, and we had snow for the first time in almost 10 years with the possibility of more. i have some fam that lives in atl, and they’re pretty seasoned with the cold weather compared to us louisianians!
    Yeah I heard about that. I got a buddy who has family in lake Charles and they got several inches. And that first storm that went through got all of south Texas and mexico. Crazy stuff.

    Global warnings a myth right???
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  27. #87
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Chills showed up just before lunch. They can't shake my spirits (pun intended). Its not bad at all. This will be day 4, I think, without taking any Imodium. Belly gets a little bit bloated and noisy, but no real emergencies.

    Weird subject...but I swear I don't remember what a normal bowel movement looks and feels like. Suboxone had me Constantly Constipated (band name?)

  28. #88
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    I know the subs really plugged me up also. Takes some getting used to. For me it all leveled out around a month or so.
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  29. #89
    Walkley822 is offline Member
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    I’m on the east coast and it’s absolutely frigid. And the worst part about these temps is when you get the chills, it’s almost impossible to warm up again. It’s -8 tomorrow (not including wind chill).

  30. #90
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Hey Walkley if it gets bad try running some warm/hot water over your hands and wrists for a few minutes. Its not a long term solution but it appears to work at least long enough to regain sanity.

    I've noticed my showers have been ultra hot lately but I don't care...probably burning my skin but I really could give zero Fs.
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