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Suboxone Jump - I'm Taking My Life Back
  1. #91
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Drive by. Bumping your thread up to 4 pages! Proud of you

    Beef

  2. #92
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    Drive by. Bumping your thread up to 4 pages! Proud of you

    Beef
    You're my boy, Beef!
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  3. #93
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    10-

    Regarding the bowel movements, I know exactly what you mean. It's still not as regular as I want either.

    Guess time is what our cure is.

    Sending good vibes your way to getting that on track!
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  4. #94
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Day 16 (I think) - morning update. The past two days have been really good for the most part. It's feeling less like a roller coaster and more like driving down an old road with a few potholes. Each day is something new (for better or worse) and I can literally feel my body detoxifying...it's the most amazing experience. I'm so happy I did this. Today is good, and that's all that matters :-)

  5. #95
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Here's some cherry-picked lyrics from TwentyOne Pilots..."Holding onto You". Just a reminder that we have control over our body and mind. Just need to dig deep and take control. Interpret as you wish.

    Lyrics:
    I'm taking over my body
    Back in control, no more shotty
    I bet a lot of me was lost
    "T"'s uncrossed and "I"'s undotted
    I fought it a lot and it seems a lot
    Like flesh is all I got
    Not any more, flesh out the door...

    I must've forgot, you can't trust me
    I'm open a moment and closed when you show it...Before you know it I'm lost at sea
    And now that I write and think about it
    And the story unfolds
    You should take my life
    You should take my soul

    Fight it, take the pain, ignite it
    Tie a noose around your mind
    Loose enough to breath fine and tie it
    To a tree, tell it "you belong to me"
    This ain't a noose, this is a leash
    and I have news for you...
    You must obey me.

  6. #96
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Day 17 - three decently good days in a row! Last night I slept about eight hours. I may have slept longer if my dog hadn't started pawing at my feet.
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  7. #97
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    10-
    That's great! I hope today is everything you want and need it to be!

    Now if we can only do something about the bone chilling cold!! Brrrrr.
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  8. #98
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Day 18 - busy weekend, but the last 18 hours have been a struggle. Chills, sweating and minor RLS returned, albeit intermittently. Was looking forward to pulling away from the physical symptoms. Good news is that it seems as if I’m completely done with needing Imodium. I think it’s been 5 or 6 days since I last needed it. Progress with minor setbacks!
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  9. #99
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 10years39days View Post
    Day 18 - busy weekend, but the last 18 hours have been a struggle. Chills, sweating and minor RLS returned, albeit intermittently. Was looking forward to pulling away from the physical symptoms. Good news is that it seems as if I’m completely done with needing Imodium. I think it’s been 5 or 6 days since I last needed it. Progress with minor setbacks!
    10-

    That's great! Like you I have seemed to not need the Imodium as much. Sorry about the RLS. I hate that and can totally understand.
    Did you try the Hylands? Beef suggested it and it has helped me. Hoping it might help you too!

    Oh and I'm one day behind ya. 17 days today for this guy!

  10. #100
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxheadrum View Post
    10-

    That's great! Like you I have seemed to not need the Imodium as much. Sorry about the RLS. I hate that and can totally understand.
    Did you try the Hylands? Beef suggested it and it has helped me. Hoping it might help you too!

    Oh and I'm one day behind ya. 17 days today for this guy!
    Hey Max! Congrats on Day 17! That’s amazing isn’t it? How do you feel?

    Yeah the RLS took me by surprise last night. It hasn’t been an issue for at least a few days. Yes Hylands is great and works well enough for me. I was mistaken and thinking I wouldn’t need it anymore, but I took a few last night for some help.

    All things considered, this little speed bump isn’t terrible at all. If I’m feeling this hopeful at day 18, I can only imagine what the future holds.

    Take care!
    -10
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  11. #101
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    10-

    That is great! Yeah I'm feeling pretty good. I had an awesome weekend laughing and being near the ones I love. It's really a gift for us all to have our heads back and fully engaged with family. I am going to get a few old books out I haven't read and get rolling again.

    Really glad the Hylands helped. It was a life saver and continues to be my go to med for the RLS. Although I look at medication and sometimes get repulsed because of my abuse of it. But hey...tomorrow will be great and I hope it's packed with lots of great stuff for you too!

  12. #102
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    Day 19 - got a full uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep last night. No RLS at all. Today is going great! Chills are still lingering a bit, but hey I’m cool with it. Haha.

    Anyways, I’m continually amazed by this process. I feel less pain now than I did when taking Suboxone, or at least that’s how it seems. Ibuprofen appears to work better without the presence of opiates...but I’m sure that’s entirely subjective.

    I feel like a new person. Sure, there’s a learning curve but the process is so humbling...almost to a point where it breaks you down (mental boot camp). You hit rock bottom and then you rise up.

    Can’t believe I waited 10 years to do this the right way. Honestly that is currently my biggest regret in life...well...that and not buying a few thousand Bitcoin a few years back. Kicking myself.
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  13. #103
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    10-

    Great job! And I feel you on the rock bottom piece. Knowing what that life is when chained to a pill or film. Then to realize the pain of acute withdrawal is the last and worst present active use gives to us all. That seemingly never ending knawing in our stomach coupled with RLS and insomnia. It seems relentless in its hold on us. But sites like this let us know that the real power to bust free lies within us. Addiction doesn't stand a chance when people like us finally decide to take control of the wheel.

    I am so proud of you! I'm only a step behind you as today is day 18 for me.

    I know one thing that I've learned in previous short term stints of sobriety. This time is super deliecate for us and it is now that we MUST remain vigilant and guard against anything that would lead us down the path of "just one won't hurt".

    That was part of my failure last time. I said "ahh that wasn't that bad. You can handle a little more". What a fools message I fed to myself!

    We fight for each day but I Can't wait to celebrate a month clean and FREE with you!

    Then two then three and so on.
    Hoping you have a blessed day!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-08-2018 at 02:20 PM.

  14. #104
    10years39days is offline Member
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    You’re awesome, Max.

    Can’t sleep...definitely blaming it on that darn game...I’m sure that’s it. Lol. Got my blood all heated and stuff. I hate Saban’s smile. It makes me want to shove my face in a dark hole and scream obscenities. Goodness gracious the Tide rolls again. Dagnamit.

  15. #105
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Morning 10. Hope you get some sleep today and your dreams aren't haunted by Saban's cheeky grin.

    Have a great day buddy!!
    Beef

  16. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    Morning 10. Hope you get some sleep today and your dreams aren't haunted by Saban's cheeky grin.

    Have a great day buddy!!
    Beef
    Ugh thanks for the image, Beef.

    Day 20! Whoot whoot! Things are chugging right along. I'm in between meetings (work) right now so this will have to be brief. Yeah last night I stayed up too late, a little bit of CFP-induce insomnia (I'm sure that's a proper diagnosis). Other than that, today is going great despite only getting 5 hours of sleep. Overall, I've been doing a good job of hitting the sack early enough to get 8 hours...but last night I just couldn't shake Saban's snide mug.

  17. #107
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    Day 20 - evening update. Getting to bed a little earlier tonight. On track for 7 hours hopefully. I need to listen to my body better...should gone to bed like an hour ago! But its so hard when you feel this dang good!!!

    This sounds crazy, but I feel like I'm talking with my wife about 10 times more than I used to. Obviously this is a great thing, and almost feels as if she's watching the "lead suit" and emotional chastity belt start to deteriorate and crumble.

    Another interesting thing...Holy Libido...it has returned! And its strong. Like, raging bull strong. Is this normal? I feel like I'm 17 again...maybe I'll transform into Zac Efron. My dearest would be pleased.

  18. #108
    10years39days is offline Member
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    ...and that about wraps up this portion of "TMI - Addict Addition". Stay tuned for next week's episode to learn how to properly examine the size, color, and aroma of your recent bowel movements. Bring your nose plugs and latex gloves.

  19. #109
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey 10. Lol. I had to laugh a bit at those posts. Yes it's normal. For me, mine came back full force around 4 weeks ish, maybe a little sooner. Can't really remember. Felt like a 15 year old all over. Just another one of your senses waking up. It's amazing how numb we were to the world on that junk. Enjoy it big guy!! You're right where you should be.

    Have a great day bud!!
    Beef

  20. #110
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 10years39days View Post
    ...and that about wraps up this portion of "TMI - Addict Addition". Stay tuned for next week's episode to learn how to properly examine the size, color, and aroma of your recent bowel movements. Bring your nose plugs and latex gloves.


    LOLOLOL.....Still laughing!!!

  21. #111
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    This is why I keep coming back...lol
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  22. #112
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Day 21 - all is well here. Last night was uneventful in the best way possible. Got about 7 hours of sleep, slept all the way through, and woke up this morning without needing an alarm. Guys seriously if you knew me a month ago...I needed like 57 alarms to just wake up...let alone get out of bed. I feel like I might be transforming into a morning person. That would be awesome.

    The only real complaint right now is not exactly knowing how to manage this energy...I don't think my body is at a place yet where I can go out and run a marathon (figuratively speaking)...but maybe some day soon it will be possible.

    I also have this burning desire to stop vaping. It's not a question of if, it's when. Beef when did you start the nicotine cessation process?

  23. #113
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    I think around a month and a halfish, maybe 2 months every time I smoked a cigarette it tasted like I licked an ash tray. But I gotta say those cravings are really brutal. I maybe had one or two cravings for a sub during detox, but nicotine is rediculous. What % are you vaping? You could try tapering that. Patches and gum never worked for me. But I did pick up a nasty peppermint addiction that I'm tapering off of now. Lol.

    It's doable, but really not pleasant. You'll know when you're ready to quit.
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  24. #114
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Ughhhh I tried I tried I RELAPSED....only 3hours..
    shame guilt no will power....
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  25. #115
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Lvg you're talking about nicotine right?
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  26. #116
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Yes 10,
    Today using for me is not an option
    I have choice's today...

    I have 10,379 hours clean...
    Just for today...lol...

  27. #117
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Beef - I'm right around 2% nicotine - been that way for at least a year now. I used to mix my own e-liquid. It was cheap but just too time consuming. Therefore, I would find it difficult to taper below 2% with my current vape equipment.

    Once I'm ready I'm just gonna drop it cold turkey. See how it goes. The problem with vaping is that it seems like I constantly have that thing in my mouth. While the nic strength might be low, I'm taking in a large volume.

    Its hard to tell which is more dominant...the physical addiction or the mental habit. Guess I will find out in due time.
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  28. #118
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lvg nghtmare View Post
    Yes 10,
    Today using for me is not an option
    I have choice's today...

    I have 10,379 hours clean...
    Just for today...lol...
    Awesome Lvg - I figured that was the case I just wanted to make sure. I know I am miles behind you, but I know that using opiates is off the table. I have (almost) zero urge to use...and if anything I'm becoming addicted to being clean.

    I can't afford to default on this new lease on life. Like you said...it's not an option in my arsenal of choices for today.

  29. #119
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    Each day I wake up...guns loaded...battle axe strapped to my back...ready to fight this thing.

  30. #120
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Just for Today...
    Not miles
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