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Suboxone Jump - I'm Taking My Life Back
  1. #241
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Surrender lol
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  2. #242
    10years39days is offline Member
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    One thing is clear...I must not want this as bad as I wanted to quit Suboxone. The risks and rewards are entirely different.

  3. #243
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Lvg - good thing you weren’t part of the 300. Lol.

    But yeah, I hear ya.
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  4. #244
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Also...I found that reading about nicotine WD is NOT helpful...whereas reading about opiate withdrawal was VERY helpful (on this forum).

    Oh my poor brain.

  5. #245
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Ooh. Man, nicotine is a real bich. Never had cravings that bad. And still do. When they say you gotta want it they mean it. I've heard people had success with chantix? Anything to help with w/d

  6. #246
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    I'm a relapse Queen...

  7. #247
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Day 36 - today was definitely an off day. I made a feeble attempt at quitting vaping (nicotine) and failed miserably. I think the whole ordeal put my emotions in a weird place.

    So to sum it up...today wasn’t horrible but it sure wasn’t sunshine and rainbows. I don’t think I’m ready to quit nicotine yet.

    I want to give it another shot tomorrow, but honestly I’m not sure if it’s worth it right now. I’m still in the process of outrunning my 10 year Suboxone addiction...I don’t think I need to sign up for two marathons at the same time.

    It’s definitely a lousy excuse, but it’s how I’m feeling.

    Thanks y’all! Glad to be here...clean ;-)

  8. #248
    Walkley822 is offline Member
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    Then don’t do it. Give yourself some time to adjust to your new world without opiates!! That was the main beast. If you could tame that thing then you can tame the other, just don’t be in such a rush. Give yourself a break. I applaud the effort though - you’re on fire!

  9. #249
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Thanks, Walkley - you’re the best ;-)

  10. #250
    10years39days is offline Member
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    I think Beef and Max are out on the golf course or something. My addition would’ve made a good threesome (in the cleanest way possible).

    Y’all aren’t getting invites to my birthday party.
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  11. #251
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Day 38 - been in a little bit of an emotional rut, but overall things are going well. I’ve been waking up way too early...which is good but 4am is overkill.

    Can’t believe I’m almost 40 days clean! Seriously guys...just 40 days ago I was panicking at the thought of going even 24 hours without my dose. I wasn’t sure if life would ever feel “normal” again.

    To be honest, it doesn’t feel normal...it feels exhilarating. Even though I’m having emotional ups and downs, I can still see that being clean is SO MUCH BETTER! Every day I feel a sense of accomplishment.

    I had become so accustomed to being in a dense fog...I didn’t even realize what I was missing. Now I know...and today I’m not letting this feeling go.

  12. #252
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 10years39days View Post
    I think Beef and Max are out on the golf course or something. My addition would’ve made a good threesome (in the cleanest way possible).

    Y’all aren’t getting invites to my birthday party.
    LOL!!! Didn't see that one yesterday while I was miserable at the ER. That's hilarious. You a golfer too? We should have invited Randy and made a foursome. (In the cleanest way possible) lol

  13. #253
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    38 days!!!! Congratulations buddy!! You're killing this!! It only gets better!!

  14. #254
    InsaneJane is offline New Member
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    Hi 10 years. Just wanted to stop over and let you know that I’m pulling for you. I just started on this forum with the intent of possibly using sub for chronic pain. After reading a lot of your stories I’m coming to the conclusion that it’s probably not a road I want to travel down. I am in awe how strong u guys are. I am an opiate addict thru and thru and although I’ve kicked methadone and other various delights, I don’t know that I cd go through such a long and drawn out detox. I wish you all the best and am certain that you got this. I had almost 11 yrs clean once but got complacent & thought post op narcotics were doable. BIG lol. Anyway you guys are giving me so much inspiration. Thank you for sharing from your heart. Hugs, insane jane.

  15. #255
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Hey Jane - Suboxone is bittersweet for me because I was able to utilize it to pull my life back together. Got a good job, started a family, got my degree, etc. I can only be thankful that my life didn’t end up differently...

    Suboxone is great for some of us...but I really don’t think it should be used as a long term pain reliever or maintenance drug. It just does way too much damage to your body.
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  16. #256
    Walkley822 is offline Member
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    Hey 10 - how’d you sleep last night? I slept a little better, made it to 6:45! Haha

  17. #257
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Hey Walkley - last night was good! Woke up at 3:30am but fell back asleep and woke up at 7am! Not bad for a Sunday.

    Have a great day!

  18. #258
    Wavision is offline Member
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    So glad to hear you both were able to sleep a little better. Encouraging...one day at a time.

  19. #259
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Day 39 - been a great day! Had some energy this morning, so me and my little family went for a 3 mike walk. It was nice to get out and do that.

    I was gonna go fishing today but the rivers were washed out after a week of downpours. Maybe next weekend ;-)

  20. #260
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Day 40!! Woot woot! Feeling on top of the world! This process has been humbling, and I’m forever grateful to everyone on this forum.

    After today I’m going to stop counting days. I’m not letting my guard down, but I’m also going to start trying to normalize my life. I’m not sure exactly what that means yet...

    My brain is acting much differently than it was 41 days ago. I need to be mindful of what these changes are and how they affect the newer and better version of me. It’s so hard to make any sense of all the changes that are happening. My entire outlook is changing.

    I want to remain on this forum, but I think I’m going to take a little break from posting. Probably a week or so. I’ll be lurking, as they say, but for now I need to focus all of my attention toward my life.

    I am stronger now more than ever. I can do more, be more, and simply live more than I could before the jump.

    So I’m taking a little vacation and I’ll see you guys in a few days.

  21. #261
    Walkley822 is offline Member
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    A well deserved break 10! You’re the absolute best. Thank you for all your help so far and for being there for me through this.
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  22. #262
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Wake my you can do this!!! Stay strong. Trust me you will look back on this battle you have won and feel so accomplished.
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  23. #263
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Enjoy the break 10. You deserve it. Just know we'll all be waiting on your doorstep for when you return.

    Have a great day!!
    Congratulations on 40 days!!!!!
    Beef

  24. #264
    10years39days is offline Member
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    I’m back from vacation! I was able to spend some time out in the woods with family, and really get back to the basics.

    I’ve always been an outdoorsman...but the past few months has made it difficult to get out. This was a real treat...yesterday was the most active I’ve been in a while. Me, my son, and brothers went on a 5 mile hike in the wilderness. So proud of my boy...he’s only 7 years old...and hiking out in the woods ain’t easy. We were out hunting for deer antler sheds (basically looking for deer antlers), so he was preoccupied. We only found one antler but it was still a lot of fun. Beyond that we just spent time with family, enjoying the company.

    Physical Symptom Update: WD symptoms are pretty much gone at this point. I get a random chill every so often, but that’s about it. I’m starting to get a real idea of what my back pain actually feels like. It’s not bad at all, and I think a trip to the chiropractor will be in order.

    Emotional Symptom Update: I would say at this point it’s like 3 steps forward, and 1 step back. Every few days or so I feel a little bit off and “lost”. Today was one of those days, but we were driving all day so it didn’t really affect me much.

    Here’s a strange symptom...lack of interest in my drone racing/building hobby. Now that I’m clean (for today), I’ve found that I no longer want to spend a bunch of time tinkering with toys. It’s almost like my mind is telling me that I need to be more active physically...and this hobby isn’t exactly like running a marathon.

    I know it seems like a first-world problem...but before my jump I used to spend a lot of time and energy with this hobby. I have tons of gear just laying in my office...and I’m worried that my passion is gone. I’d rather go for a walk rather than go flying. Obviously this isn’t a bad thing...but to be fair I’m not sure if it’s a good thing.

    Anybody else experience something like this? After jumping, did your interests or passions change? I used to be OCD about my drones...now I’m just cool with them collecting dust.

  25. #265
    12yearsopioiduser is offline New Member
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    Hi op congrats on your clean time. Over 40 days is awesome I'm looking forward to hitting that number too! I find the magic number for me is day 90 by then I'm at a place I no longer even think about withdrawals anymore. Other problems to invest my time with instead ha!

    I haven't had time to read the whole thread but it seems like you are in a really good place right now.

    I just wanted to chime in with my opinion about your lack of motivation for past passions. That is completely normal and willl eventually pass and you will rekindle lost interests once again. I think it comes down to how passionate you about something, if it is strong enough it will return otherwise you will develop other interests.

    All the best!
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  26. #266
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey 10 Everything you are feeling and going through is all normal. I Promise you this too shall Pass. It takes time for our bodies and brain to heal. Stay in the here and now enjoy today..
    thefigurehead likes this.

  27. #267
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey 10. I see you got your Tommy tears you requested. Lol. I agree with 12years and lvg. It will pass. When I started feeling better I had no desire to play golf. Ever again. And it made me really frustrated, I've been golfing since I was 8. But it returned. And I'm out in the front yard hitting plastic balls now waiting for the courses to open back up.

    I also had no desire to play video games either. But i think that was a muscle memory type thing because I'd always dose before I started playing. I guess my body just associated the two from that point on. But im back and beating up all the 10-12 year olds again and talking all kinds of smack. But as the days keep racking up your brain re-wires and you get back to it.

    You're right where you should be. Keep up the good work!!
    Beef

  28. #268
    thefigurehead is offline Member
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    Hi 10 - I am new to DDC, but I read your thread and I gotta say you inspire me. I am but on day 5 of sub withdrawal, but I hope to make it day by day to where you are at.

    It is snowing here in the Chicago area, so no outdoors for me other than shovelling. You are lucky to live near hiking areas, that would be great. As far as hobbies, interests, etc... I find that as we move to different stages of our lives we tend to "give up" on them. I used to love building computers, but not anymore. I have boxes of old PC parts now that I will never tinker with again... and I am Okay with it. Gives me more time to spend with my family. My new fun thing to do is video exercising. It makes me feel good to do a 30 minute workout each day. Helps with the WD's too.

    Keep up the great work. I will continue to follow you through your journey.

    Tim

  29. #269
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Hey Beef - thanks for giving input on your hobbies and passions, and how they were affected by the withdrawal process. It’s crazy to think how powerful these drugs are...they literally controlled our brains. It’s like we were slaves to the beast. Keep crushing them noobs, yo.

    Tim - congrats on your progress! 5 days is a huge accomplishment! It sounds like you’ll wake up tomorrow ready to put another clean day in the books! Hobbies come and go...and currently I’m seeing this as an opportunity to re-center my life. With that being said, I really do hope that my passion for drone building/designing returns. I really do enjoy it...we will just have to wait and see. But as of right now, my box of toys will have to wait.

  30. #270
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    10-

    If you don't want that box of toys ship em to Cincy!



    And yes I did catch that game and I hate Brady more than the heat of a thousand suns.

    Hope you are well my friend!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-06-2018 at 11:52 PM.

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