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Suboxone withdrawal Daily Diary - need support!
  1. #1
    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Default Suboxone withdrawal Daily Diary - need support!

    Hey all, I am a 29 year old man trying desperately to come off of suboxone. I have been on suboxone for close to 8 years. Scary how long it's been. When i first got on it it helped me a lot to come off OC's and get me stable. Unfortunately i went through a period of loss and depression shortly thereafter that's really too long to get into here. I withdrew and became a solitary person, losing friends and losing touch with loved ones over the years. Suboxone allowed me to be okay with being alone. To enjoy my day and not have the negative thoughts in my head. I never wanted to stay on it for 8 years and i'm shocked that i did honestly. I had a hard time coping with reality i think.
    Anyway, about 6 months ago i decided that i would finally quit this drug once and for all. I started to ween myself down slowly. i got down to 0.5mg and finally jumped. The day before i kicked i got a few klonopin just in case i couldn't sleep for days at a time. I also bought a bunch of supplements (valerian root, ginseng, vitamins, etc.). I'm actually on Day 5 right now of being completely off it and i have been feeling so alone and depressed that I had to make this thread. Ill continue detailing my withdrawal process and anybody who can offer support would be GREATLY appreciated. Over the course of my suboxone dependency i lost a lot of friends and I don't have much family. I'm also hoping this thread will help anyone who's having feelings similar to mine. I have been severely depressed off and on so if i can make it out of this hole anybody can.
    I'm going to go through my first 5 days and recap the ride for you and do daily updates from here on out.

    DAY 1

    The first day was hard for me mentally and emotionally. I relied on suboxone so much to enjoy the little things about my day. I got into the habit of playing video games every evening and watching tv completely by myself. For some reason on suboxone i actually enjoyed it. I did long for companionship but only in theory. I never actually got depressed over it or had any motivating thoughts to change the situation. In the evening of Day 1 I had this immense feeling of loss. Like the things i enjoyed for so many years i wasnt going to enjoy anymore. I think i was already in my head at this point but my anxiety and depression was very real and very scary. I did not sleep much that night. Maybe 4 hours.


    Day 2

    Day 2 was horrible. I just started to have coherent thoughts and had great shame and guilt for not making any progress in my life for 8 years. The depression was severe on this day but didn't start to set in until the afternoon. In the morning i forced myself to go out and jog and get some sun. In the evening i had feelings of boredom (which was depressing because i hadn't felt real boredom in years). I decided to watch a documentary that happened to be a really depressing one and it exasperated my negative feelings. I felt extreme isolation and loneliness. Shame that i was on this drug for so long and allowed myself to be so negatively impacted by it. I forced myself to shut off the tv and lights at midnight. Slept for about 4 hours.

    DAY 3

    Day 3 was equally awful. The physical symptoms started to appear and i had a hard time forcing myself to do even the simplest of tasks. I admittedly sat around all day and felt sorry for myself. I started to feel a very strange feeling like I wasn't myself. Like i was someone completely different. I noticed looking in the mirror that my pupils were starting to turn back to normal which was a positive. I did force myself to hydrate and eat properly. I also took a hot shower and finally decided to take a 0.5mg of klonopin right before i went to bed and it worked. I got a solid 7 hours of sleep.

    Day 4

    I woke up on Day 4 feeling not bad actually. I had finally gotten sleep and went out for a morning walk while listening to the WTF podcast which actually did heighten my mood. Once i came back home and the day started to wear on the depression started to settle in again. If i sit for any length of time i get RLS bad. Watching tv or playing games is extremely difficult for me for some reason. My mind feels really foggy and it's hard for me to concentrate. I keep having these feelings of hopelessness that i'm trying not to let devour me. I'm praying and trying very hard to be positive. At night i was too lethargic to take a hot shower but i took another 0.5mg of klonopin and went to bed. This time it didn't work as well. I had really bad RLS and woke up about 4 hours after i first dozed off to my legs feeling like they were on fire.

    Day 5

    This morning i woke up feeling very groggy. Once i got up and forced myself to move around a bit i started to feel mildly better. I made myself breakfast and watched some tv. Tv has been mostly depressing for me so far because im unable to sit and enjoy a show like i could on suboxone. Hoping that'll go away soon. I decided to get out of the house and went shopping. I felt very foggy headed all day and got mild RLS while sitting. The cloudy head thing is really starting to drive me nuts though. It's hard for me to concentrate and think clearly. I'm wondering if the klonopin is partly responsible. I've never done benzos save for a handful of times. Thinking I should stop taking them. I'm hoping my mind is just healing and i'll be able to think straight soon. The physical stuff for me so far has been relatively mild. Hopefully it stays that way. I have had a few agonizing episodes though. My stomach has been mostly fine. I eat very healthy anyway so that probably helps. I do have a loss of appetite. I force myself to eat at certain times and i'm able to get down the food no problem. I'll check back in tomorrow and let u know how the night went. I'm dreading it to be honest. It's very hard dealing with the emotional turmoil and feelings of hopelessness. I just want a life for myself. I'm very angry that i wasted 8 years of my life.

  2. #2
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi there..
    Welcome🎥
    I was on methadone 10 years
    Time flies
    Been off a year
    With sub
    Now 3 months off sub..

    You are gonna be ok..
    But this is a fight
    A fight for your life!
    You have gone through 5 days
    You can do anything...

    Unfortunately this board doesn't get as much traffic
    I think if you posted on suboxone therapy board
    You will see others at different places in their sub taper
    Or off completely..

    Thomas Receipe has great
    Supplements
    OTC remedies for pain
    Hylands restless legs helps with RLS

    Have you thought of looking into 12 step programs?
    You would have so much support with actual people
    Who been through very similar situations.
    Check out different meetings till
    You find one you feel comfortable in..
    I go to AA..
    I just fell better in there
    Even though I am an addict..
    A substance that can alter my mine?
    I can abuse..

    Keep doing what you are doing..
    This too shall pass!
    Congratulations!
    Take care
    Bette
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  3. #3
    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Thank you for the support and advice. I will take u up on all points. I've never been to a meeting mostly because I've never felt the need but i think I'm going to at least try one out and see what happens. The feeling of isolation and going though this alone is probably the hardest for me so if i can get help from that through a meeting it'd be very well worth it. Thank you again for the positive encouragement.

  4. #4
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhodesy View Post
    Thank you for the support and advice. I will take u up on all points. I've never been to a meeting mostly because I've never felt the need but i think I'm going to at least try one out and see what happens. The feeling of isolation and going though this alone is probably the hardest for me so if i can get help from that through a meeting it'd be very well worth it. Thank you again for the positive encouragement.
    Rhodesy, lol. I can relate to you 100%. I used hydro for 8 years everyday practically. And with it i enjoyed everything i did during the day. Im a online gamer and loved playing COD or Halo or bf4 type games. It was a dream playing online with the world and stealing tanks and blowing up humvees.lol. i swear i could live forever doing just that and care less for nothing! I had to juggle that with a wife a daughter. But hydro made it so fun and easy. But like any drugs , it catches on and robs everything slowly. What's left behind is you and the gaming system. For 8 years i also didn't progress. This caused stress in my marriage. I am fully aware of that. Im entering day 11 clean with nothing. Not even vitamins or otc meds. Just living and eating normally. Subs got very similar wd to hydro and almost exact timeline. You peaked body wise but now you will enter the hardest part imo, the mental side. It will be cruel and torturing ! But that also is a stage. Mines hit atvday 4 5 and 6. I was very emotional and the cravings drove me up the wall. I got very depressed and the smallest thoughts would make me get teary eye. I would look out the window and see a scary world. Everything looked odd and not real. Hard to explain. But you don't feel right. But on day 7 and 8 i saw a nice relief. I was actually a lot better. No more emotions, and no more feeling out of place. I was able to go outside and talk normally. Now. .. being on day 11 i feel better but not 100%. I'm more like 70%. Its all mental now. What gets me now is just realizing ill never be able to get that happy rush while tank hunting with a f22 raptor on bf4. Dammmm... i will mish that so bad. I stopped gaming, i dont enjoy it as much. But i know its temp. Now i look forward and get giddy when on think of all the money im saving and upgrade old technology i have. So thats something that gives me hope. Now, back to you. What you have to understand is these wd stages are brutal and necessary. Its the way the mind heals itself. Its the chemistry balance thats off. And thebonly cure is mot more meds, but time itself. If you read on wd threads you will see that everyone suffers. Every single one of us. No way around it. Time in linear and slow. But let it run on the clock and it DOES get better. I personally havent had that great happy natural rush people get when they finally produce a normal amount of endorphins but I'm getting closer. 11 days. If you are on day 5, you need 2 to 3 more days and in junky theory and will power, you are out the woods! And it aint bad leaving the woods. Theres beautiful rolling hills with perfect grass outside the tree line. Trust me! I can almost see it myself. good luck! I was on another thread started by another op, but i think they lost grip. :\
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  5. #5
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Sorry for the Great Wall of text. Lol

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    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Ok, did some research on suboxone . Looks like it's one hell of a drug to get off with horrible wd.worse than hydro. But seems like you might be in the clear due to the fact you stated you felt better in the 4th day just slightly. So you are on a very good track! That awesome news! Keep adding hours! That's the magic remedy! Now. . If you want to try a safe otc drug that works wonders on the mental and physical side, try 30mg of loperamide. That is a god sent cure! It lasts about 24 hours and terminates about 90% of all symptoms ! I swear it works. Its a anti diahrrea med. I used it for my 2nd 3rd amd 4th days. And it made me skip the worse symptoms. Didn't even get one night sweat or rls. Word of caution, if you decide to try kratom.... be careful! Some people can't digest it and it hurts the liver. About 3 months ago i went 50 days clean of opiates using it and it does work. 50 days proves it. But 2 weeks of taking it sent me to the hospital severely jundiced with elevated liver numbers. The following 2 months i was in and out the hospitol doing blood work to check the levels. I suffered 2 months of severe nights sweats with full blown severe whole body itch and crippling nausea. Hahahah! I wanted to die. I was given lortabs again to help me sleep and thats how i broke the 50 day clean streak. Now the doc wants me off and i have no choice to quit. And luckily im so tired of chasing the pills that i am mentally ready to move to my next chapter in life in free of pills. Day 11 brother! If i can do it so can you! I say that because i LOVE opiates. But how it robs your life and soul is not worst the burst of endorphins. I will miss this old friend but so happy to see reality normal and feel like my old self.

  7. #7
    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Thanks for the words and well wishes. I am trying to go about this the best way possible so any advice helps. Like you i feel like i've been stuck in kind of a bad trip with no end in sight. The world feels so different. I feel so different. I'm hoping it's something that passes soon.

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    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Day 6

    Last night i didn't take any sleep meds or supplements (no klonopin). Just a hot shower. I was able to fall asleep relatively easily. I woke up about 3 hours later though with bad RLS. I laid in bed until about 6am and forced myself to get up. I ate breakfast and then immediately forced myself to stay busy. It was raining so i couldn't go for a walk but i cleaned half my house and generally tried to stay busy. It was hard at times and i had to force myself through it but it's so worth it. I feel so much better after staying busy or physically active for a few hours. Sitting around seems to exacerbate the symptoms, both mentally and physically. I lost energy around noon and had to lie down. I slept for about an hour and woke up feeling lethargic and depressed. Not taking klonopin last night i think helped me feel generally better today. I still have foggy head though. My memory and intellect seems to be slowly coming back to me though. I'm still getting used to the world i guess. I know it takes a long time for the mind to heal from long term suboxone use.

    I am trying to be strong and the depression and feelings of hopelessness come in waves, which is much better than the constant weight i was carrying around the first 4 days. I do have small moments of contentment. They seem to be very fleeting and hard to hold onto but at least it's something. I am determined to stay on this clean and sober path and see where it takes me. I keep telling myself that i want a life for myself. I don't want to be working a dead end job spending my evenings alone with my PS4 and Netflix. I was able to enjoy things on subxone but i was never truly happy. Never truly fulfilled. I know it changed me into a completely different person too. One who was unmotivated to socialize, unmotivated to leave my house even though I longed for companionship. Now it feels like an extremely long waiting game to feel like my old self again. I'm trying to hang in there. One day at a time.

  9. #9
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Yup, you are in that stage. Feel hopeless and pity yourself. Yearn for your old self back. I was there. Even for me, siting dowm and doing nothing drove me insane. Do things to stay busy. It will be hard. I really suggest 30mg of loperamide. You will see what i mean if you take it. And again. .. keep adding days . Don't reset the process by taking any more or any type of pain killers. Just don't do it! I'm on day 11 and it's so much easier now.

  10. #10
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Hold on until this Wednesday. I promise you your mind will start leveling out . Enough to feel the mental change.
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  11. #11
    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Thanks man. I keep trying to tell myself that it's going to get better. It's just hard to believe it when i haven't had many moments of even contentment yet, let alone happiness. Like you said though, it's a waiting game. I'm trying to stay positive. I feel like a completely different person who's stuck in a nightmare. It's a very strange and somewhat terrifying feeling. I'm putting my faith in God and in the knowledge that everything is temporary.

  12. #12
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    You are hanging tough!

    It will pass..
    Hide your clocks ..
    Time seems to stand still..
    Being busy is key..
    It is such a mental fight!

    Loperamide helps ..
    Many people swear by it..
    Take care
    Bette

  13. #13
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhodesy View Post
    Thanks man. I keep trying to tell myself that it's going to get better. It's just hard to believe it when i haven't had many moments of even contentment yet, let alone happiness. Like you said though, it's a waiting game. I'm trying to stay positive. I feel like a completely different person who's stuck in a nightmare. It's a very strange and somewhat terrifying feeling. I'm putting my faith in God and in the knowledge that everything is temporary.
    Man, i know that feeling so well. When i hit that stage i can't hold eye contact. And i feel like im not in this reality. It's so effin odd. I look at people walking by [im in the city ] and i wonder how in the hell do they live without opiates? How can they smile and enjoy a chine of ice cream? How in the hell can they even be walking outside smiling? It amazes me all the time! But its normal dude. Trust me. . Very normal. It has to happen, our brains can produce endorphins over night. Its like a nasty deep skin wound. Takes about 1week to close. Another week to scab nicely. Then many more to fly flake off. Then your brain is normal about 99.99 % there's always that 1%. That's the ever lasting memory of the experience you had from the first pill to the last. That's how it is. Nothing you can do but let time heal. I snapped or of that [odd out of place sad hopeless feeling ] on the 8th day. Then its a very gradual recovery. Today for example, not bad at all. Didn't get cravings at all. Everything looked normal and felt normal. I didn't get that nice natural high still, I'm still waiting. But i did get slight endorphin boost through our the day. Nothing to brag about. But it was enough to keep me contempt. Just hold on longer!

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    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Meh... can't edit a typo . I meant or brains can't produce endorphins overnight. You have to let it heal like a open wound. But good for you. . You are almost a week in!

  15. #15
    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Glad to hear you're progressing each day. Keep up the fight!

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    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Rhodesy , how do you feel this morning?

  17. #17
    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Mentally I actually feel a lot better. I am finally starting to get back to being myself again. I'm not even close to where I hope to be in time but at least I'm progressing. The RLS kicked into overdrive last night though. I fell asleep pretty easily but woke up about 2 hours later with my legs on fire and convulsing. It never subsided either. I finally got up and forced myself to walk around a few hours later. It's still there if i stop walking but not as bad as last night. I'm thinking of taking your advice about the Loperamide. I don't know if i can handle many more nights like last night. It was pretty brutal.
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  18. #18
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhodesy View Post
    Mentally I actually feel a lot better. I am finally starting to get back to being myself again. I'm not even close to where I hope to be in time but at least I'm progressing. The RLS kicked into overdrive last night though. I fell asleep pretty easily but woke up about 2 hours later with my legs on fire and convulsing. It never subsided either. I finally got up and forced myself to walk around a few hours later. It's still there if i stop walking but not as bad as last night. I'm thinking of taking your advice about the Loperamide. I don't know if i can handle many more nights like last night. It was pretty brutal.
    yes! You are getting there! Tough it out longer! If you feel slightly mentally better like you said, ITS HAS BEGONE! That means your brain is leveling. Thats what you want! Now. .. you will notice that its going to flee quickly and you will get down again. But. ... it will come back in a few hours. Then it repeats. You will mentally go down and then feel contempt again. But it gets closer and closer to each other. If you keep holding on, you will get more ups more frequently and closer together. You are still in the dangerous stage though, so beware Lots of people relapse exactly where you are. They are exhausted from feeling like this for a whole week, so they give in. Then the cycle gets a reset. You MUST realize that! I mentally cracked on day 7. I stayed searching for another doctor. But 4 hours of searching got me so tired mentally, i gave up and closed all my browser with doctor in my area i could try. Omg..... i nearly effed up. I took a drive down the coast and it got my mind totally off that mental state. Got home and watched tv and played some call of duty special ops on my daughter's old wii. Played some levels and enjoyed it. Then went to sleep. The next day, I pat myself in the back! Lol. I had a good morning on day 8 and was so relieved i didnt go see another doc. That would have taken more money i need to pay bills! Now im on day 12 amd loperamide has kicked in slightly and feel a lot better mentally. I'm telling you! Loperamide is a miracle drug for some, including me! It knocks out 95% off all symptoms. Including the mental side and rls.

    first time i took it i was like "holy sh%t!I feel normal!" Lol. I swear to god. You should give our a shot since toy are suffering bad! It won't hurt to try! Get the generic brand from targetb or walmart. Dont go to walgreens, they rip you off. Target sells the tiny pills for 5 dollars for 48 count. I bought 2 bottles of that. And dosed a minimum of 28mg. The box should just say Loperamide. Dont buy the imodium brand pills. Its like 12$ for like 12 pills. Rip off! I'm no doctor but been through this hell from higher dosages before many times and i suggest taking 40mg. Thats 20 little pills. And dont worry really, many have taking way more. I used to take 60mg. But that was over kill for my mass. Found out 28 is enough. And the key is to take a large enough to work for you. So maybe 30mg will be ok? Dont know and you will have to find thw lowest doae that works. If you take too little, it won't work! Some have taken 12mg [6 pills] because they were scared of gobbling more pills and claimed it did absolutely nothing and said loperamide doesn't work. They are wrong ! They under dosed ! That's key! A large enough dose so it effects the receptors that are screaming for opiates. If you do research on loperamide you will see many people swearing by it. If you don't know why it works, its a opiate itself and binds to other receptors that remove the wd by tricking your body it's on opiates. You can't get high off it, it does not cross the brain barrier apparently. Thank god really , otherwise I'd be hooked on this aswell! So try it but use atb your own risk. I dont want to make you get sicker if your body rejects the loperamide. But to put your mind at peace, never heard of someone getting sick from loperamide. Also... dont use it longer than 3 or 4 days. There isnt enough studies showing long term effects if used daily for a long period. good luck and let me know if you go out to buy some.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-12-2015 at 11:34 AM. Reason: typos

  19. #19
    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Thanks for all the info on Loperamide. I've looked around in forums to see how people do with it. I'm trying to take as little meds as possible but if my RLS stays for a few more days I'm going to have to do something. And you were right about the roller coaster of highs and lows. I felt prettty good mentally this morning but now in the afternoon I'm down again. It's been raining here for two days straight so not being able to leave the house is starting to wear on me too. I keep telling myself it's going to get better. It really is a constant battle.

  20. #20
    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    You're so right about time slowing down. It's funny how on suboxone the time seemed to fly by so quickly. Now it moves at a snail's pace. It seems like half the day has gone by and when I look at the clock it's only been an hour. Trying to stay busy. I had a good morning where I was feeling better but started to feel tired and depressed as the day wore on. I'm hanging in there though. Did you deal with RLS bad and if so how long did it last?

  21. #21
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    I'm glad you are still holding on! Do it dude! Day 12 for me and its freaking getting easier! Yeah, do your research on lope.

    I skipped rls since i dosed 28mg of loperamide on the initial worst days.

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    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Day 7

    So from last night to this moment it seems like so much has happened. I was able to watch a movie last night and listen to a podcast and actually enjoy them. That made me feel good because I've been unable to enjoy much since this process started. Went to bed around midnight and woke up about 3 hours later with the worst episode of RLS I've had so far. Very painful. My legs were kicking and convulsing and felt like they were being ripped apart. I eventually got up and kept myself busy by walking around and doing things around the house. I took Korean Ginseng and a multivitamin and the ginseng seemed to help a lot with the energy level. I got through most of my day without any fatigue.
    I, for the first time today, was able to see a light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to feeling like myself again. It didn't last for very long and I still have a ways to go but at least it was a start. I'm trying hard to just wait it out. I know as the days go on everything will start to improve. I feel like I can't really work on the mental part until the RLS subsides at night and I can sleep. I'm trying to keep myself busy and stick to a general routine. Going to sleep and rising at relatively the same time, eating meals at the same time, etc. I have been on this drug for so long that so many of my memories and experiences are intertwined with the feeling of being on the drug. It's going to be a learning curve and i think making new memories without subxone is important. Trying not to fight the depression and feelings of hopelessness. They seem to ebb and flow now instead of hanging over me like a constant weight. Like I said though, I can't truly begin to work on the mental side of this until I'm sleeping through the night, or at the very least until my RLS subsides.

  23. #23
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    I mentioned by Wednesday you should see a better leveling in your mind. You are getting there! If you are enjoying a pod cast, thats a clear sign you are on track! I'm over that stage. The waves are almost gone. Now im into the "what now in life" feeling. Lol. Hard to explain.

    Agree on sorrounding yourself with the pill to do everything during the day that had to be done. I messed up myself and paying the price. I took my pills when ever i went to the mall and had a cupnof coffee with it. Made the mall magical. Felt like i was number one in there. And took the pills when ever i had to meet someone. Bdays, gathering and so on. So doing anything that was social, i took the pills . Now im screwed! !! Everytime i do something that should be fun, i get reminded of the pills and realize I'll never have them again. That brings me down soooo hard. But i noticed im able to do some of the things on day12 with ease now. So i take it that I'm actually producing real natural endorphins. So i know I'm on track! Eventually i should be contempt wirh the endorphin level at any activity and get naturally happy. That should happen to you as well. By reading your posts, you have entered that stage and you're brain is producing endorphins already. Slightly but its making it. That's the key to happiness i think. I just enjoyed watching some Oculus Rift Dk2 videos on YouTube. Had a blast laughing a bit.lol. I'm going to treat myself with that toy once i save enough money from not biting pills ! Hopefully i can enjoy online multi player games again. I really miss them.

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    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    If you can also even avoid loperamide , do it. That's more for the initial hellish stage of wd. But if rls and mental problems are still strong, give it a shot

  25. #25
    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Iluv2smile, how long did your RLS last?

  26. #26
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    It lasted a week or 2 but not as bad as before..
    I tapered really low 0.125
    And did skip days..

    Try Hylands restless leg it is OTC
    People here swear by it..

    RLS sux..
    I know I even got it in my arms...
    Keep up the fight
    You 2 are both so strong..
    You both came here at the right time..
    Who better to help each other?
    Right?
    I will check back..

    Guys kickin it
    Clean
    In
    2015!
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    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazyfrog View Post
    I mentioned by Wednesday you should see a better leveling in your mind. You are getting there! If you are enjoying a pod cast, thats a clear sign you are on track! I'm over that stage. The waves are almost gone. Now im into the "what now in life" feeling. Lol. Hard to explain.

    Agree on sorrounding yourself with the pill to do everything during the day that had to be done. I messed up myself and paying the price. I took my pills when ever i went to the mall and had a cupnof coffee with it. Made the mall magical. Felt like i was number one in there. And took the pills when ever i had to meet someone. Bdays, gathering and so on. So doing anything that was social, i took the pills . Now im screwed! !! Everytime i do something that should be fun, i get reminded of the pills and realize I'll never have them again. That brings me down soooo hard. But i noticed im able to do some of the things on day12 with ease now. So i take it that I'm actually producing real natural endorphins. So i know I'm on track! Eventually i should be contempt wirh the endorphin level at any activity and get naturally happy. That should happen to you as well. By reading your posts, you have entered that stage and you're brain is producing endorphins already. Slightly but its making it. That's the key to happiness i think. I just enjoyed watching some Oculus Rift Dk2 videos on YouTube. Had a blast laughing a bit.lol. I'm going to treat myself with that toy once i save enough money from not biting pills ! Hopefully i can enjoy online multi player games again. I really miss them.

    Lol. I watched some of those videos too. Feels good to laugh. I play more single player stuff. I'm more of an RPG nerd. Dark Souls, Dragon Age, that kind of stuff. I've only gotten into a few multiplayer games over the years. To be fair though I haven't tried a lot of them. I was playing Dying Light right before I quit. I've tried picking it up twice since and it felt so weird and depressing I had to shut it off. I'm starting to not feel the constant depression though so I'm hoping that maybe I can pick up gaming again soon. At least here and there anyway.

  28. #28
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Hehe. Rpg nerd. I never got into those. I just like trolling players in warfare games. If your got a decent pc, try some of the online fps games. Its a way different experience when you play the world. Ever seen a mad Russiankid so pist off at you for blowing his humvee over a cliff? ol. I can do that all day !the oculus is freaking awesome! I really want to get one. It's 350$. Only the dev version though. Maybe the dk3 if it doesn't come or as the final product. But any who, keep holding on! You are way into 1 week. Tomorrow is your 8th day. Expect a nice surprise. I'll cross my fingers for you.

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    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Hey, how you doing? Still holding on? I'm on day 13. Haven't got the natural full endorphins, but i have a small consistent dose going. Still waiting on it. What about you? Did you cheer up a little more today? Day 8 is a good day. Many see a huge proggress at that period. Anyways. ... hope its going good.

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    Rhodesy is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazyfrog View Post
    Hey, how you doing? Still holding on? I'm on day 13. Haven't got the natural full endorphins, but i have a small consistent dose going. Still waiting on it. What about you? Did you cheer up a little more today? Day 8 is a good day. Many see a huge proggress at that period. Anyways. ... hope its going good.
    Thanks. I have felt a lot better today physically and mentally. My head's a lot clearer and the RLS has subsided quite a bit. Congrats on day 13! Hang in there. You deserve to have a life that doesn't center around pills. I'm sure it means a lot to your loved ones too. Keep up the good fight. Don't think for a second that life is better high because it's not. The oppertunities, relationships, and special events are so much better when you're fully present. I'm starting to realize that. I think it's an important truth to remember.
    Iluv2smile likes this.

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