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Tapering off 6 years on Subs and freaking out!
  1. #121
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Where art thou, Gonna?? No update today? Did I give you the weekend off or something? Hope you had a good one last night and that you're off to work. I'll keep looking for you.

    Peace,

    Cat

  2. #122
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Jeepdude,

    Thank you! I can't find where you created your own thread. Have you done that and I missed it??? If you have, can you post there so that it appears with the new posts making it easier for me to find you?

    Sorry for highjacking your thread, Gonnawin.

    Peace,

    Cat

  3. #123
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Still at work Cat. Not taking a day off. I'm skipping today!! Haven't doses since yesterday morning!! Wooooo!

    Update later!
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  4. #124
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    Still at work Cat. Not taking a day off. I'm skipping today!! Haven't doses since yesterday morning!! Wooooo!

    Update later!
    All righty then! Fireworks being set off momentarily! I'm going to be dancing in the streets. I am soooo proud of you and you've made my day.

    I of course, will be watching for a complete update later. Don't work too hard!

    Peace,

    Cat

  5. #125
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    FINALLY home from work! Ughh what a long day! I've made it through my skip day! Well I have until 530am but I'm pretty much there. Thank you for the fireworks! I needed them for sure.

    Sooo ... I start my .08 doses now. And then it's over foreverrrrrrrrrr!!!
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  6. #126
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    Gonnwin,
    Just wanted to let you know your determination is very inspiring. I couldn't be happier for you that you are down so far and are so close to your goal!! How exciting is that! Boy I hope they are paying you good at that job of yours. The hours you put in shows just how dedicated and strong-willed you are. Congrats again. Almost on the other side of this nasty mess! I'm sure the light just keeps getting brighter and brighter!
    Blessings for continued success,
    Shelly
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  7. #127
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    FINALLY home from work! Ughh what a long day! I've made it through my skip day! Well I have until 530am but I'm pretty much there. Thank you for the fireworks! I needed them for sure.

    Sooo ... I start my .08 doses now. And then it's over foreverrrrrrrrrr!!!
    :You made it a skip day. YAY. What now? Are you going to stay with skip days in between the .08? Last leg of this. Either way, you'll be done within the week. Finally is right! Good for you.

    Peace,

    Cat

  8. #128
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Thank you Shelly! It hasn't been easy, that's for sure. Seems like it has taken forever to do this taper. I just thank God I was able to stay so disciplined and make it as easy as I could! Working so much has helped a lot. Now I'm almost there.

    So Cat, I'm gonna try skipping I think. I took my first .08 at 730 this morning. Three of those left. So if I do skip it's 6 days left. It's kinda scary to think about it. I have no idea if I'm gonna be ok for a few days and then have a bunch of withdrawal, or if tapering this low will take care of some of that. So I'm anxious about it. I hope it's not too terrible!

  9. #129
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    Thank you Shelly! It hasn't been easy, that's for sure. Seems like it has taken forever to do this taper. I just thank God I was able to stay so disciplined and make it as easy as I could! Working so much has helped a lot. Now I'm almost there.

    So Cat, I'm gonna try skipping I think. I took my first .08 at 730 this morning. Three of those left. So if I do skip it's 6 days left. It's kinda scary to think about it. I have no idea if I'm gonna be ok for a few days and then have a bunch of withdrawal, or if tapering this low will take care of some of that. So I'm anxious about it. I hope it's not too terrible!
    From everyone I've heard from over the years I've been here, it won't be bad at all. Bette and others said working really helped and I believe it. You've done such a good job of getting low. That's the beauty of this taper plan. Tapering to this low dose helps to gradually lower the build up of the massive amounts of sub that have accumulated over the years of taking it. Then, skipping days helps to dissipate even more of it. That's the ticket right there. To get as much out of your system over a period of time as opposed to ripping it off your brain receptors all at once.

    You got this! Take another of those deep breaths and have faith in yourself and this process. You are not unique and no more of a wimp than anyone else around here (me for sure). You've done this so right it's scary. Home stretch. (I hate sports analogies.)

    Peace,

    Cat
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  10. #130
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Thanks Cat, this is mostly what I believe too. It's just to the scary jump point where no one truly knows how they will respond. I think that my body is not really holding onto a big build up at this point. I hope I'm right. I honestly feel more clear minded than I have in so many years. At this point, I'm not sure how big a difference it makes if I take a dose or not. The only difference I feel is the relief of the RLS. I think this is mostly what I will feel like completely sober. For a while I was scared I would be a different person but it's still me!!

    So yes, this is the home stretch and I am so relieved. Still can't believe I've done this since March 1 with 11 mg! It's gonna be so amazing to never have to think about how much of anything I have. I can just come and go as I please!!

    Ok, enough rambling. Lol. I gave myself the day off today after 13 days of 12-16 hour shifts. I've been lazy all day and it feels great!

  11. #131
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    Thanks Cat, this is mostly what I believe too. It's just to the scary jump point where no one truly knows how they will respond. I think that my body is not really holding onto a big build up at this point. I hope I'm right. I honestly feel more clear minded than I have in so many years. At this point, I'm not sure how big a difference it makes if I take a dose or not. The only difference I feel is the relief of the RLS. I think this is mostly what I will feel like completely sober. For a while I was scared I would be a different person but it's still me!!

    So yes, this is the home stretch and I am so relieved. Still can't believe I've done this since March 1 with 11 mg! It's gonna be so amazing to never have to think about how much of anything I have. I can just come and go as I please!!

    Ok, enough rambling. Lol. I gave myself the day off today after 13 days of 12-16 hour shifts. I've been lazy all day and it feels great!
    Right? A full month! Some people take more than that every single day. This is why your story is so important. So others can see how a little amount of sub can and should go a long way.

  12. #132
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Skipping again today. Last night was somewhat uncomfortable but I slept on and off. I feel like my Magnesium oil didn't work so well. So I have to get through another night and hopefully my legs won't drive me crazy.
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  13. #133
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    Skipping again today. Last night was somewhat uncomfortable but I slept on and off. I feel like my Magnesium oil didn't work so well. So I have to get through another night and hopefully my legs won't drive me crazy.
    I'm sorry. I guess nothing is perfect. This is almost over, thank goodness. I so remember that RLS. It is absolutely maddening! Maybe time to get into the doctor to see if you can get some Gaba so that you're prepared for the final jump? Are you sick of me saying that? Better safe than sorry by this time next week, it just might get you through the end of this. Just sayin.....

    Peace,

    Cat

  14. #134
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    It is. Maddening. There is nothing quite like it. So I selected a doctor last night and tried 5 times to call the office today. I can only assume they are closed on Monday. Sheesh. I'm hoping I can call tomorrow and get an appointment for Thursday or Friday. I have those mornings free this week so it would be perfect. I'd prefer to not spend $100 on Urgent Care if I can avoid it. I also don't feel confident that they would prescribe anything useful. I could be wrong.

    I wish I could have done this last week. I barely had time to eat, let alone go to an appointment!

    Just have to get through the night! Tomorrow is my hubby's birthday and we have to celebrate!!
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  15. #135
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Good to get into see a doctor. Keep trying. How you feeling? You didn't mention how your night was You always tell me how the night went. I hope this means it was without incident. ???? What are you doing to celebrate his birthday? I told you. I'm living vicariously through you so I want to know what kind of fun I'm going to have. Ya know?

    Peace,

    Cat

  16. #136
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    I'm feeling ok right now. I've been extremely tired the past couple days. It could be how much I'm working but it's like deep dragging kind of tired. Last night wasn't terrible, but not ok either. I know if I can get some meds for my legs I will be ok. Fingers crossed I can get in this week!! Right now it's been 37 hours since my last dose. Im hoping I can sleep tonight but if not I will just dose a few hours early. It's ridiculous that I'm hanging on these last several days over RLS. And in a couple days I just have to deal with it no matter what. Just keep reminding myself how much worse it could be!!

    As for tomorrow, I still have to work EVERY day this week. In trying to get people trained so that I don't have to work 70 hours a week! So we're just gonna go to dinner when I get home. Probably Texas Roadhouse. He loves his steaks! I feel bad because I usually spoil him rotten and I just haven't had time. I know he understands but still. At this point he may even be proud of me if he knew what's been going on in the background!!

    So dear Cat, the fun level on this one seems pretty low!! Too bad! Next time will be better.

  17. #137
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Well. 70 hrs/wk is a lot no matter how you cut it and you're going through some tough times right now. Amazing you're doing it. WOW.

    Sometimes it's just better not to have options. Do I take that dose? Do I wait? You're low enough now that you can jump anytime. At least when your final few doses are gone, there will be no options. That at least helps the mental struggle. Those legs, those dancing legs (and not in the good way). I do hope you are able to get something to help. It will make a world of difference and you'll be less frightened going into the jump.

    Have a nice time. That orb over the table? Yeah. That'll be me drooling. Toss me a french fry or something.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-12-2016 at 06:26 AM.

  18. #138
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    So last night was my skip night of course. I went to bed hoping for the best and by some miracle, I had absolutely no RLS. Not even a hint of it! I don't understand why, but it was the best sleep I've had in a couple of months. So since I am feeling so renewed this morning, I think I will try to wait another day to dose. Or who knows, maybe this will be it. I feel perfectly fine so far!

    Update later!
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  19. #139
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    So last night was my skip night of course. I went to bed hoping for the best and by some miracle, I had absolutely no RLS. Not even a hint of it! I don't understand why, but it was the best sleep I've had in a couple of months. So since I am feeling so renewed this morning, I think I will try to wait another day to dose. Or who knows, maybe this will be it. I feel perfectly fine so far!

    Update later!
    That's awesome! I have always had the same experience with RLS. It didn't gradually go away but instead ended very abruptly. Hoping this is it for you. If you can manage it, I wouldn't tempt fate with another dose. That's just me.

    Peace,

    Cat

  20. #140
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Yup, rls usually goes away faster if you were on vics. But i know a few who were on subs that had it for nearly 3 weeks. For me, rls lasts 2 days only then im normal. But what drags crazy is the mental emotionsl mess for almost 3 weeks. 9 months clean and so glad i did. Im telling you, you go back to normal as much as it feels that you wont.
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  21. #141
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazyfrog View Post
    Yup, rls usually goes away faster if you were on vics. But i know a few who were on subs that had it for nearly 3 weeks. For me, rls lasts 2 days only then im normal. But what drags crazy is the mental emotionsl mess for almost 3 weeks. 9 months clean and so glad i did. Im telling you, you go back to normal as much as it feels that you wont.
    Hi Crazyfrog,

    Good to see you doing so well. Gonnawin did a most proper taper getting down to .08mg/day and then began skip days. RLS was the last remaining problem. She's done her time with it over the last month. I don't think she's got another 3 weeks of misery. Like Randy always says, "Do it right, do it once"

    Peace,

    Cat

  22. #142
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    Hi Crazyfrog,

    Good to see you doing so well. Gonnawin did a most proper taper getting down to .08mg/day and then began skip days. RLS was the last remaining problem. She's done her time with it over the last month. I don't think she's got another 3 weeks of misery. Like Randy always says, "Do it right, do it once"

    Peace,

    Cat
    Hi Catrina, good for her. It should be easier now. I did mines CT but with the help of lope for the first 10 days. It saved me from the mental pain. But even lope prolongs the CT method i noticed. These pills... geez.

  23. #143
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Ya lets not even speak of 3 more weeks of RLS!! Last night was amazing to just be comfortable and sleep!

    And the doctor can't get me in until next Friday!! I'm hoping this is over by then. So much for that plan!

    I took my last dose Sunday morning at 730. It's been about 55 hours. Should I be starting withdrawals at this point I wonder? Or is it still a day away? So stressful. I'm really hoping not to dose again. I'm just kind of nervous waiting for the unknown.
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  24. #144
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    On a side note, I went in the bathroom and looked at my eyes. They are extremely dark brown and I usually can't see my pupils but they are definitely dilated. That's a good sign right?
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  25. #145
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    On a side note, I went in the bathroom and looked at my eyes. They are extremely dark brown and I usually can't see my pupils but they are definitely dilated. That's a good sign right?
    Definitely a GREAT sign. You've been on such a small dose for a while now. The half life is long (don't we know it!). Over two full days since your last dose--I'd say while you'd definitely still test positive for subs, I think you'd be feeling something now. Maybe not full blown symptoms, but something. Hang tough and don't look for trouble. The absence of RLS last night is a really good sign too. You're a tough cookie. You've proven that already. I hoping that this is it. Go for it!!!! I think you've got this now. I really do.

    The fact that you're working so many hours is going to help now more than ever because sleep can give us trouble for a bit but you're tiring yourself out so thoroughly, you may have less trouble than some.

    Keep updating. I'm still watching for you.

    Peace,

    Cat

  26. #146
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    I think so too. I think something should be going on. I really don't think there was enough in my system for it to take days to kick in. Soooo... I wasn't planning on it but I guess it can just be over.

    Wow did I just say that!?
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  27. #147
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    I think so too. I think something should be going on. I really don't think there was enough in my system for it to take days to kick in. Soooo... I wasn't planning on it but I guess it can just be over.

    Wow did I just say that!?
    Ha! You did. You really did and you earned the right to say it. Don't leave us. I would miss you.
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  28. #148
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    62 hours...... Feeling a little icky. I came home and tried to take a 20 minute power nap before getting ready for dinner. My legs kept twitching. Hopefully things won't get too much worse. And I can get through the night. Yikes!

  29. #149
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    Gonnawin.

    Well.... how was your night? Fingers crossed you didn't have it too bad. Your on a roll now!! I'll use my hubbies analogy... Your on a bridge and all the people that came before you have crossed and are waiting on the other side.

    Catrina will be the first in line, jumping up and down with excitement, and shooting off the fireworks, when you make your last few steps. Be careful, she's liable to grab you and wan't you to dance a show tune with her, lol. She's crazy like that.

    Anyway just wanted to check in on you. Giving you a big whoop, whoop!! So happy for you!!

    Blessings for continued success,
    Shelly
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-13-2016 at 07:38 AM.

  30. #150
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    How you doing? I'd do my best to stick with it at this point. You're 3 days without sub. Now because of the low, low dose you've been taking it hopefully won't take long. Maybe even get rid of what you have left so that you're not tempted. Your decision but really, now or next week? I wouldn't throw these 3 days away. There'll be ups and downs but at least you'll have ups.

    Update please about how it went last last.

    Peace,

    Cat

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