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Tapering off 6 years on Subs and freaking out!
  1. #151
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Thanks for posting ladies! Last night went perfectly fine. I felt yucky for about an hour and then it subsided. Mild RLS during the night but my magnesium helped and I was able to sleep!

    So yes, it is actually my Day 3!! I have no plans of turning back. I woke up this morning feeling great. No symptoms of any kind. So... I feel like I'm beating this. Idk if something will happen today but if it does I think it will be mild discomfort. Tapering down SO low was the absolute right choice.

    I can't even believe in typing this stuff!!! 3 days!? OMG!!!
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  2. #152
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    YAHOOO. I have nothing else to say. I'm so proud of you and so happy that you're coming out the other side.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  3. #153
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Thank you Cat! For all your kind words and encouragement. It has meant the world to me. You're an amazing person!

    Is it absolutely crazy to think that maybe I'm just gonna be fine? It's been 3 1/2 days. Surely I would be dealing with something by now right??
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  4. #154
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Still feeling fine and symptom free. I really just feel normal. Right now it is great.
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  5. #155
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    So good! Sooooo good. Just remember that if we have a bad day or bad night not everything is related to detox/tapering. It's related to life. Just had one of those nights a couple of days ago myself. It happens. It's all about adjusting to what our personal "normal" is.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  6. #156
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    DAY 4 TODAY!

    Yes I was thinking about that last night. I have to remember what it feels like to be free of drugs and know that aches and pains and feelings happen. I'm so looking forward to it!

    I did have pretty bad RLS last night but it lasted for a few hours instead of all night. It feels so good not waking up and thinking about my sub dose!! I haven't felt this in so many years! I could shout it from the rooftops!!
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  7. #157
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    I just want to add, the people on this board are so ridiculously amazing. There are SO many people that jump off cold turkey and suffer so bad for so long, without you guys, I wouldn't have had enough information or encouragement to keep going with my taper. I would have thought it didn't matter either way and would have gone through God knows what kind of withdrawal. Instead, I stuck with all the MILDLY bad nights to get to the end and be able to come off with almost NO withdrawal!! I never truly believed this would happen. But it's happening and I owe it to this board, and especially you Cat. You stuck with me every day and I love ya for it!!
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  8. #158
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    It has been my pleasure and delight to know I helped you in some small way. You did the work. I did the cheer leading. For me, it's all about paying it forward. I had my peeps 6 years ago, most if not all are gone now living their happy lives but I won't ever forget them. Not a one of them. They held my hand and pulled me up when I didn't care if I could be pulled up or not.

    You've made my day. Yet again.

    Peace.

    Cat

  9. #159
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Day 5

    So last night was terrible. I worked all night and then came home and couldn't sleep at all. Restless legs, arms, etc. nothing helped and it was miserable. I drank an energy drink yesterday late afternoon, I wonder if that contributed to it... Idk but it sucked and it made me wish I could take some sub for the first time in 5 days. Man I hope this doesn't happen again.

  10. #160
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    Day 5

    So last night was terrible. I worked all night and then came home and couldn't sleep at all. Restless legs, arms, etc. nothing helped and it was miserable. I drank an energy drink yesterday late afternoon, I wonder if that contributed to it... Idk but it sucked and it made me wish I could take some sub for the first time in 5 days. Man I hope this doesn't happen again.
    It's always a fine line and can be hit or miss. We want/need more energy but then again, it can interrupt our sleep. I do hope tonight is better. Just remember that you will soon have more good nights than bad and then you'll be just like me. An occasional bad night for no reason whatsoever or if I'm worried about something. So, hope tonight is much better.

    Peace,

    Cat

  11. #161
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    So here I am. Just got off another endless night of work after having virtually no sleep last night. I've felt like >>>> all night. I just hope and pray I can sleep. I didn't drink another energy drink. I used to live on that stuff. Now it doesn't seem like a good idea.

    Then I think about the fact that I'm having next to no problems except this... I'm so so so lucky right now. I thought I'd be the one that had horrible withdrawal no matter how low I tapered. I still have sub left. There's no way on earth I would take it. I will NEVER let something control me like that again. It's almost like power that I haven't thrown it away yet. I know I won't touch it. But it can sit there and wish I would !! I have beat this demon. It is over. I might have some bad nights. But I will never be a slave again.
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  12. #162
    DawnMarie81 is offline Junior Member
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    Get it Girl!!! Man its been amazing to read your story really its been like my little novel, you so did right following these guys taper plan trust me saying I wish I would of went lower but then anxiety and worry of when I did and feeling minor withdrawals threw me into a panic and ended up giving in and never could go lower than 4 mg which is almost stupid lol but I'm on day 22 I completely agree when you say never would I take it again even in the worst days and still some aren't great I wouldn't take a bottle of free suboxene if they were given to me..You deserve the biggest pat on the back I'm so happy that your where you are and did it and still kick if butt working all them hours..AHhh-mazing job.(in your head sing out that first part loudly of your alone lol)... Can't wait to see the next from you.

  13. #163
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Hey Gonna,

    It's only going to get better from here on out. Yes you'll have a few rough spots but the worst is absolutely behind you. I love your conviction. What a difference from your first post only back in March. You've come a long way Baby!

    Keep updating me. I look forward to knowing how you're getting on.

    Peace,

    Cat

  14. #164
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    I'm still chugging along. It's day 7. I've been pretty low on energy the past couple days. And I'm still fighting this RLS. I feel like it's never going to go away and it freaks me out. It's driving me insane. But, if there's no improvement in the next few days I do have a dr appt on Thursday.

    It still feels more amazing every clean day though!!

    Thanks for the support ladies!

  15. #165
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    Gonnawin,

    So happy to catch up with your thread and find out that your 7 days out!!! OMG I'm so happy for you. Your story can help so many others to know that it can be done. You've come over the hump and there is no where to go but up!

    I'm sure you probably already know that RLS and not sleeping are the last symptoms to go. I know the low energy is definitely hard, but you also have to take into consideration that your working A LOT of hrs. Anyone would be exhausted!! As far as the RLS there are some OTC things to take that might help. Magnesium is the first thing that comes to mind, but there are others. Also maybe some B vitamins might be something to consider. I just read on someone else's thread that they started a sublingual B12 and made all the difference.

    I'm just glad that your are doing so well and the days that you don't feel that great are still better than the days when you were tapering . I really couldn't be happier for you! Keep up the good fight. Your inspiring!!!

  16. #166
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Thank you!! I'm really proud that I'm now this far in. DAY 8!!! I really think I'm getting to a point where the sub is about out of my system. Last night and today have been particularly rough and it seems like that would do it. It's definitely not easy but I still got out of this with almost zero withdrawal and for that I am so thankful!

    As for the RLS...... I just don't know. It's still awful. Last night was worse. I keep telling myself tonight it will be gone. Then it's either still there or it gets worse. The fact that I have no idea when it will go away eats at me. I'm not sleeping well at ALL and I feel like I'm losing it sometimes. I've been using magnesium supplements AND oils directly on my skin, every vitamin under the sun for 2 months now, amino acids etc. nothing helps. Or maybe it does and it would be 100x worse! Lol!!! I'm going to the doctor Thursday and maybe I can get some meds to help.

    Either way I am over the moon that I've done this!! I'm free of the Sub Monster and it feels amazing. Anyone reading this should know that what I am dealing with now is a million times better than being tied to that drug for another day!!
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  17. #167
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    True that! Who knows what you'd be feeling like without having done such a good job with your taper. I promise. The RLS will leave very abruptly. The sleep? That's a whole 'nother ball game. It will improve especially once your legs calm down and for me it was always gradual but once we can at least just be still, the interrupted sleep is tolerable. I know you have a doctor's appointment and they do have non-addictive things that will help. Just be sure to ask. Don't have to 'fess to anything. If they ask, just say that "you know someone who had an addiction and you don't want to ever go there!". Probably not even an issue. Doctors are getting more conservative and that's a good thing.

    Peace,

    Cat

  18. #168
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Day 9! Much the same as the rest of the days. Dragging through today. It's hard to tell how much is my terrible sleep and how much is being off the subs. Or it could be PMS. Lol! Who knows. Every so often I get a tiny bit of chills but they go away as fast as they came. Pretty uneventful detox really!

    Hoping tonight's the night I can just sleep!!!

  19. #169
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Every day is one day closer to where you want to be and why you decided to do this. I am sorry that you're having trouble sleeping but it'll start to return any time now. Something else I want to mention is that most especially at first when you do begin to sleep it will feel differently at first. It felt almost like I wasn't sleeping soundly. Hard to explain. Just not rested even if I was able to fall off for several straight hours. That part of it didn't last long though. Thank goodness.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  20. #170
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    So last night my RLS got worse than it's ever been. I literally laid awake all night kicking every few seconds and had to get up and go to work with zero sleep. Also today, I'm having chills and I feel so uncomfortable. Can this really be happening after 10 days?? My mind is totally fogged today and it doesn't make sense after tapering so darned low.

  21. #171
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    So last night my RLS got worse than it's ever been. I literally laid awake all night kicking every few seconds and had to get up and go to work with zero sleep. Also today, I'm having chills and I feel so uncomfortable. Can this really be happening after 10 days?? My mind is totally fogged today and it doesn't make sense after tapering so darned low.
    I'm afraid so. My guess is you are purging the last of it and your receptors aren't liking it. Won't be long though. This is near the end. Hang tough Girlie Girl. You're almost there.

    Peace,

    Cat

  22. #172
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Well that's just garbage. I don't like it. I thought I was gonna be turning a good corner, not a bad one!! I could cry.

  23. #173
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    A few more nights being uncomfortable to be sober and happy the rest of your life is a small price to pay!
    You're doing great. You're almost out of the woods. Congrats gonnawin

  24. #174
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    I know it has to be over soon. I just prepared for all kinds of scenarios. Having this happen after 10 days was never something I considered a possibility. I mean, that's WHY I tapered the way I did. So it's confusing. And I'm getting leg jerks while I'm sitting on the couch now. It's not gonna be a good night. And now I don't know if I'm just starting a period of withdrawals or wth is going on. Lord.

  25. #175
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Today is your doctor's appointment? I hope he can give you something that will help you over this last patch. I'll expect an update later and hoping for relief soon. It's just gotta be close. Hang in there. I'm thinking of you.

    Peace,

    Cat

  26. #176
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    So I went to the doctor. She gave me ReQuip. I was trying for the Gababentin but she insisted this was their GO TO treatment for RLS. At this point I don't even care, I'm just relieved to have something that may help. She said to take it 3 times a day but I'm not sure if I really need to...

  27. #177
    Tara27 is offline New Member
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    Its so awesome that u quit!!! Quitting is all I been thinkin about for the last few months and it was very inspirational to read. I'm definately going to refer back to this site when I do. My doctor said he would support me too. None of my friends or my boyfriend understand so I don't talk about it with them. Just my doctor but he doesn't think I should. I think he's just used to seeing people fail. But that was awesome Gonna!!!!

  28. #178
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonnawin View Post
    So I went to the doctor. She gave me ReQuip. I was trying for the Gababentin but she insisted this was their GO TO treatment for RLS. At this point I don't even care, I'm just relieved to have something that may help. She said to take it 3 times a day but I'm not sure if I really need to...
    I get it that you don't want to take it as often as is prescribed and I'd probably be thinking the same way. I'd try it at bedtime only and see if it works. If it doesn't then I'd try another a little earlier in the day. I know you have a late work schedule or maybe 6-8 hrs before you go to bed(?) and another just before bed. Let me know how it works. I went and found a message board about this med and it was ALL good news from everyone. Hoping you are among them and you sleep blissfully tonight.

    Peace,

    Cat

  29. #179
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    Well I'm glad I didn't take it 3 times yesterday. I took it an hour before I planned to go to bed. 20 minutes later I was totally passed out! The doc said it wouldn't make me tired, boy was she wrong. In any case, I slept all night with no problems. It was pure heaven!!
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  30. #180
    Gonnawin is offline Member
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    So the 2nd night I took my ReQuip. It did nothing but make me thrash around all night. I woke up yesterday with cold sweats, massive headache and a horrible cough that is making my whole body sore! I decided to try it once more last night and the same thing. Did nothing for the RLS but I was up hacking all night! I actually think RLS is worse on this med.

    I'm so disappointed. It's now day 14 off subs and this symptom shows absolutely no signs of going away, only getting more severe. I'm gonna call the doctor tomorrow and ask her again about the Gabapentin.

    I'm just scared that the RLS is permanent or something. And it's making me think about opiates. No Bueno!!!

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