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Tapering off of oxycodone and ms contin...
  1. #31
    spacie1985 is offline Junior Member
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    Still going strong on week two. I have had no cravings and sleep is slowly returning but not a lot of it (I have insomnia anyway). I am actually very proud of coming so far. I used to think about getting clean and get so overwhelmed because I knew I couldn't do it but I did it. This last month has been awful but I know I'll make it though no matter what.
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  2. #32
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by spacie1985 View Post
    Still going strong on week two. I have had no cravings and sleep is slowly returning but not a lot of it (I have insomnia anyway). I am actually very proud of coming so far. I used to think about getting clean and get so overwhelmed because I knew I couldn't do it but I did it. This last month has been awful but I know I'll make it though no matter what.
    spacie - you are doing AWESOME!!! Keep it up, it will only continue to get better and better! Some days will definitely be better than others but that's how normal life is anyway! Keep on keepin on... Please continue to keep us updated? Take care... God bless us all!

    PS
    Your story will help others someday if it hasn't already? Again, great job! Be proud of yourself...
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  3. #33
    Smilingstorm is offline Senior Member
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    Congratulations! The sleep issue does get better. I'm day 50 something and finally sleeping quite well. I know it sounds far away.. But it isn't!

    Do you feel more clarity? Cravings come and go. I find most days have less and less. When the thought pops in, redirecting the brain helps.

    You are doing great! Thanks for the update! You should be very proud.
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  4. #34
    spacie1985 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilingstorm View Post
    Congratulations! The sleep issue does get better. I'm day 50 something and finally sleeping quite well. I know it sounds far away.. But it isn't!

    Do you feel more clarity? Cravings come and go. I find most days have less and less. When the thought pops in, redirecting the brain helps.

    You are doing great! Thanks for the update! You should be very proud.
    I do feel very clear, very focused. I've never really felt like this before. I find myself being more social (my friends have been stepped up big time since my mom passed away) which I never really am and when I was I would attribute it to me having taken an oxy. It's like a different version of me if that makes sense. I'm going to tell the doctor I see next week about my addiction issues so they know which makes me nervous but I feel like it's for the best. I've been trying meditation and breathing exercises which do help. The days feel long but I knew they would. Congrats on your sobriety Smilingstorm, that is wonderful!

  5. #35
    spacie1985 is offline Junior Member
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    I figured I'd update since my appointment was today. I told my doctor about my addiction issues when she had brought up benzos for my anxiety which was hard but I am glad I told her. I have been prescribed an antidepressant that is supposed to also help with anxiety (I have taken it before and it helped a lot). I also spoke with a therapist and have a follow up with her set up. Tomorrow morning marks three weeks clean for me. I'm finally getting a few hours of sleep a night which is nice. Things are finally starting to even out. Grieving has been hard but I have an amazing support system. I have told a couple of people in my life about my addiction and they were so supportive about it, no judgement there at all. I'm glad I told them finally.
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  6. #36
    spacie1985 is offline Junior Member
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    Last update for a while as I do not want to clog up the feeds here. Today is four weeks clean. I'm finally getting a little more sleep and am getting some energy back. It's an uphill battle for sure but it's getting there.

  7. #37
    Smilingstorm is offline Senior Member
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    Great job! You should be very proud. I'm proud of you. It's a long road.. But the yucky stuff should be over.

    You know what really annoyed me? When people before I jumped kept saying "the WD is easy compared to the mental that follows". I still despise reading it. But I am month two and the mental they talk about (at least for me) is the lack of chase, mood lift and energy. It's not about the pills in your head all the time. It's more like having to deal with reality! Keeping a positive attitude is essential. Dwelling and staying in the downer mindset are just too risky.

    Glad you updated! Keep doing it!
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  8. #38
    spacie1985 is offline Junior Member
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    Today marks two months clean. I'm feeling more like me again finally. My sleep has evened out, no more crazy sneezing fits.
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  9. #39
    spacie1985 is offline Junior Member
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    Today marks four months clean for me. I've started seeing a therapist for my anxiety and depression and have been on an antidepressant for a couple of months. Things are going slowly but it is moving in the right direction. I told everyone in my life about my addiction issues, it's nice to finally be able to talk about it and to say it is behind me now.

  10. #40
    spacie1985 is offline Junior Member
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    I don't know if anyone even reads this post anymore but I figured I would update anyway. Today it has been six months clean for me.

  11. #41
    blast is offline New Member
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    I read them. Every time someone updates. Please continue. Trying to get the nerve to quit. I don't think I have it

  12. #42
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by spacie1985 View Post
    I don't know if anyone even reads this post anymore but I figured I would update anyway. Today it has been six months clean for me.
    Congratulations spacie, that is a great accomplishment and you should be very proud of yourself!

    Don't ever think you can just take a pill here and there and control it because before you know it you'll be right back into the depths of addiction again! I've seen it happen too many times, it even happened to me once in my early stages of recovery but luckily I was able to catch it early before it got really out of control. Always keep your guard up!

    Keep on keepin on, you're doing fantastic! Stay well... God bless us all!

    PS
    Remember - One pill is too many and a thousand pills will never be enough!

  13. #43
    Sybil001 is offline Junior Member
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    Sorry for your loss, Stacie. I just want to let you know you are an inspiration. Keep doing what you're doing!

  14. #44
    spacie1985 is offline Junior Member
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    Hello all. As of 5/19/17 I am ten months clean. Things have been difficult because of my mental health issues but I refuse to ever touch opiates again. I made all of my doctors aware of my past addiction so that they know to not give me anything that I could become addicted to. I've read several posts this morning and the most common thing I see is that people don't think it gets easier after either going through tapering or cold turkey. I promise it does ease up and that it is so worth going through. Thank you to everyone who helped me make it through.

  15. #45
    spacie1985 is offline Junior Member
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    I know it's been a while but I wanted to post that today is fifteen months clean for me. It's been difficult but I am doing it.

  16. #46
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by spacie1985 View Post
    I know it's been a while but I wanted to post that today is fifteen months clean for me. It's been difficult but I am doing it.
    Thank you for stopping in to give us that great report. Congrats on fifteen months. That's awesome. Stay strong. This is so much better, isn't it?

    Peace,

    Cat

  17. #47
    Sara221 is offline New Member
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    I'm going thru double masectomy, bilateral breast reconstruction 3 horrible surgeries with complications, also a very small petite juvenile type 1 diabetic..have been on oxy FOR PAIN, FOR 1.5 YEARS. It's so disconcerting to read this stuff on here. My god, healthy young people with no need for these pain killers abusing them, making it nearly impossible for those of us with unbearable chronic pain to get adequate care b/c of the abuse stigma you create.

    STOP psyching yourself out. Why would anyone take these drugs when one knows the consequences if you're not using them appropriately and prescribed. I stopped taking them 7 days ago and had NO w/drawls, none. My doctor said, "Well, you may feel like you have the flu, you can handle that, no?" If you freaky yourself out then you're creating your own anxiety which has nothing to do with the drugs. STOP TAKING THESE, YOU DON'T NEED THEM.

    MY GOD, go enjoy life...it's a beautiful thing. Be grateful you're not going thru life threatening diseases and conditions and get a hobby or something. Stop taking more drugs to get off these drugs which you don't even need.

    The abusers have created a nightmare for those of us whom are suffering terrible with chronic disease and pain! Enough, go enjoy your life and be grateful!
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  18. #48
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sara221 View Post
    I'm going thru double masectomy, bilateral breast reconstruction 3 horrible surgeries with complications, also a very small petite juvenile type 1 diabetic..have been on oxy FOR PAIN, FOR 1.5 YEARS. It's so disconcerting to read this stuff on here. My god, healthy young people with no need for these pain killers abusing them, making it nearly impossible for those of us with unbearable chronic pain to get adequate care b/c of the abuse stigma you create.

    STOP psyching yourself out. Why would anyone take these drugs when one knows the consequences if you're not using them appropriately and prescribed. I stopped taking them 7 days ago and had NO w/drawls, none. My doctor said, "Well, you may feel like you have the flu, you can handle that, no?" If you freaky yourself out then you're creating your own anxiety which has nothing to do with the drugs. STOP TAKING THESE, YOU DON'T NEED THEM.

    MY GOD, go enjoy life...it's a beautiful thing. Be grateful you're not going thru life threatening diseases and conditions and get a hobby or something. Stop taking more drugs to get off these drugs which you don't even need.

    The abusers have created a nightmare for those of us whom are suffering terrible with chronic disease and pain! Enough, go enjoy your life and be grateful!
    Welcome Sara,

    I'm sorry that you are having the medical problems that you have. You were lucky that you didn't experience any withdrawal symptoms and I'm certain it's because your dose was thankfully low.

    You don't really have a question nor have you asked for anything in this post. I saw another from you yesterday (?) that was essentially the same as this one. I read it and moved on because I wasn't ready to respond to you.

    It's not my intent to try and change your opinion about those who abuse their pain meds. I'm pretty sure based on your post that that would be a waste of time. I don't blame you for being angry about this stuff. I honestly don't. Having said that, you used a pretty broad brush when painting that portrait of those addicted or dependent upon pain pills. I hope that you at least considered the fact that many people who have become addicted or dependent didn't plan for that to happen and there's a large populace that got into that spot by having some medical issues that were being treated with opiates in the most appropriate way. Oh. Wait a minute. That was you too, wasn't it? So tell me again why you and I are so different? Both of us got prescriptions for legitimate medical issues and took them exactly as prescribed. It's a simple fact that with prolonged use of any opiate there's dependency waiting somewhere down the line. If you read through threads here from start to finish, you will see just how many people here are good, hardworking folks who ended up addicted to pain killers because of medical circumstances and not because they woke up one day and decided to H*ll with it. Today I'm going to find some opiates and abuse them.. Trust me. I doubt that anyone accepts the pain relief in the form of a pill from their doctors and decides that they're going to abuse them and become an addict. Who signs up for that?!? I am a recovering addict who started my journey into the darkness in the doctor's office. There are many obvious differences between you and me but for the purpose of this post, the only difference is that you didn't have to experience the pain of withdrawing from your pain medication. That's it, my friend. You should be reading the threads here and thinking that there by the Grace of God go I.

    You are correct that there are people out there who use that first pill for recreation and quickly spiral out of control. It is also true that your story is very similar to many of us but you're one of the lucky ones who didn't have the torment of opiate withdrawal. I had some fairly serious medical issues and was prescribed pain killers for years. It certainly was never my intent to become addicted to them but I did. According to your post, I should have known better. Hmmmm. As a matter of fact, I absolutely knew that there was a danger of becoming dependent upon them but then again, you did too. In spite of that, we both took that first script and every single refill after that. If when you stopped taking your pain killers, if you had had to experience withdrawal I think that you would be able to better understand just how hard it is. Don't get me wrong--I'm glad that you dodged that bullet. I just needed to say something about your post. It's not fair to pass judgement on those of us who got caught in the web that is opiate addiction and to blame me because you (it sounds like) have run into a snag with your doctor about getting continued scripts. I suggest you look at it this way. Whether or not the world is full of addicts or not, it is almost inevitable that the longer you take pain pills, the more likely you'll be lumped into the same group as the rest of us. Your doctor is trying to help prevent you from having that happen.

    I hope that some of your medical issues resolve quickly for you. It's terrible to have to be in daily pain. This is coming from a recovering addict who was in moderate to severe pain daily. I hope that venting here to a group of people who are trying their best and going through h*ll to get clean and firmly into recovery helped to release some of your frustration. You are entitled to your opinion but popping in here after you were able to just stop taking your pain medication without having to experience all of the ugly withdrawal symptoms doesn't make you any better than the rest of us. You only know your experience and are drawing the conclusion that addiction is a character flaw and that it's as simple as just stopping. You couldn't be further from the truth, I'm afraid and I hope that you never do have to go through what so many of the rest of us have.

    I'll step off of my own soapbox and close with this last point. One of the most tragic things about addiction is the stigma attached to it. People who are desperate and wanting to stop taking their drug of choice are most often met with judgement even from the medical community. Imagine how hard that is to know that you need professional help but also know that you just might be greeted by someone who is passing judgement upon you without even knowing who or what you're all about. You're upset about how we druggies have made your life harder. Well, I'm sorry about that but if you want to do something productive about this issue, then do something to help get addicts out of the closet and help to make it easier to find help. Do you know that if a person wants to get into rehab that unless they have a minimum of $10,000 cash they'll be put on a waiting list and have to wait for weeks if not months until a bed becomes available? I know you won't agree with me, and that's fine but folks who are addicted to any kind of drug are treated differently. They don't need to be judged, they need help and hopefully from someplace or by someone who doesn't have the same prejudices as you.

    I truly do hope that you feel better quickly.

    Peace,

    Cat

  19. #49
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Thanks again for your experience strength and hope Cat...

    Sara, I'm only responding to your post because I don't want that sick suffering addict in pain reading your post to be a deterrent. For me I am an addict, I have a Diease one of The symptoms of my Diease is the use of mind mood altering drugs. We all come here in desperation I sure did. Thankful everyday...I'm not or do I need to get in a battle of words, if you would read threads here you might have emphathy for others battling with this Diease of Addiction. Sara I wish you well in life... I truly hope you can find Peace.. Stay Strong for Today..

  20. #50
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    Sara,

    I envy you. I truly am jealous of you for not having to go through the he'll that most of us on this board have gone through or are currently going through.

    Cat like always said it perfectly.

    I just wanted to tell you that this is my 3rd relapse. It started with a major surgery. While I was lucky to survive the 9 hours under the knife, the doctor forgot to mention what this pain med would do to destroy who I was. How it would remove every ounce of joy, love, determination, motivation and peace from my being. That once I stopped taking it I would be left an empty shell not knowing if I have value or simply take up space.

    So I did what a lot of people do, I took it again to feel better. You know what, I did feel better. I didn't take it to "get high" I took it to feel normal. To be a good mom, wife, employee. And I was. But it wasn't me it was the drugs. Honestly if I could get a doctor to give me a lifetime supply of oxys to make it so I don't feel empty I would gladly sign up. But I know that its not going to happen.

    I also know that with time I will heal. Slow and steady wins the race on this one, too bad its a painful, empty race with no understanding and support. Most of us hide our recovery, tell people we have the flu, make excuses when support is what we really need.

    By the way shame on doctors who perscribe these meds without telling you the whole truth. Shame on them for giving refill after refill without educating on the consequences. If I hadn't followed my doctors rules to the letter I would not be here right now. She told me every 4 hours for 3 weeks to take this poison. Set an alarm, wake yourself up, don't forget or you will be in so much pain you will have to go to the ER. I did everything right and here I am 2 years later an addict. Screw her.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 10-27-2017 at 11:15 AM.
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  21. #51
    spacie1985 is offline Junior Member
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    I'm not sure why you felt the need to post on my thread and essentially making light of the struggles I posted about here.
    Your experience isn't the only valid one out there and you shouldn't come on a forum about addiction to shame those who are addicted.
    It really discourages those who need support to say anything here and makes me personally uncomfortable with posting here anymore.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sara221 View Post
    I'm going thru double masectomy, bilateral breast reconstruction 3 horrible surgeries with complications, also a very small petite juvenile type 1 diabetic..have been on oxy FOR PAIN, FOR 1.5 YEARS. It's so disconcerting to read this stuff on here. My god, healthy young people with no need for these pain killers abusing them, making it nearly impossible for those of us with unbearable chronic pain to get adequate care b/c of the abuse stigma you create.

    STOP psyching yourself out. Why would anyone take these drugs when one knows the consequences if you're not using them appropriately and prescribed. I stopped taking them 7 days ago and had NO w/drawls, none. My doctor said, "Well, you may feel like you have the flu, you can handle that, no?" If you freaky yourself out then you're creating your own anxiety which has nothing to do with the drugs. STOP TAKING THESE, YOU DON'T NEED THEM.

    MY GOD, go enjoy life...it's a beautiful thing. Be grateful you're not going thru life threatening diseases and conditions and get a hobby or something. Stop taking more drugs to get off these drugs which you don't even need.

    The abusers have created a nightmare for those of us whom are suffering terrible with chronic disease and pain! Enough, go enjoy your life and be grateful!

  22. #52
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by spacie1985 View Post
    I'm not sure why you felt the need to post on my thread and essentially making light of the struggles I posted about here.
    Your experience isn't the only valid one out there and you shouldn't come on a forum about addiction to shame those who are addicted.
    It really discourages those who need support to say anything here and makes me personally uncomfortable with posting here anymore.
    Spacie please don't feel uncomfortable. Please don't stop posting.

    Unfortunately no matter what people go through in life there are going to be others that don't understand or disagree. It's hard for those of us who are truly struggling. Look at all of the support that is here and don't let 1 person out of many make you feel bad. That 1 person is so small in the sea of love and support here.

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