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Tapering off of zubsolv
  1. #151
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Day 12 _ yay! Feeling good, looking good. Hope today stays that way.
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  2. #152
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Day-13- All is good on the home front but I notice I have a lot of pain in the morning in my right hip. At least I think it's my hip. I probably didn't feel it before because of the pain pills and then the sub. I can manage the pain with ibuprofen. Have a good day.

  3. #153
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey fran. First off you're doing amazing!!! I wish I was as upbeat as you when I was on day 13. Keep that positive outlook!! It helps dramatically. Right around 2 weeks or so my pain levels spiked. Nothing serious, but I just felt every little bump and bruise I'd accumulated over the previous 8+ years. Aches and pains all over, again it was nothing debilitating, just annoying and mornings seemed to be the worst. Just know it takes some time for our bodies to get back to where they were. You will find your true pain level and I'm sure it will be below where you're at right now. Today I am in a lot less pain than I ever was when I was using. But just like everything in this process it takes time.

    Keep doing what you're doing Fran!! You're inspiring many here!!
    Beef

  4. #154
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Thank you Beef! I thought I was going to need hip surgery. Just got off pills and have to do it again. But I guess I'm just feeling natural pains. Even if it was my hip having problems I would just take ibuprofen and keep it moving. Out with friends at a club having a good time for my 14th day. Live band too! I haven't done that in forever. I hope one drink of wine wont be bad. I just wanted to feel like everyone else. I will just sip it.
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  5. #155
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Well 15 days and I'm doing well. I also decided not to drink the glass of wine last night because I didn't want to tempt fate and I didn't want to mess up my clean time with a stupid glass of wine. Will try to reflect on where I came from to where I am now.

  6. #156
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Well I don't know if it's because I was out late last night and I'm tired or what. I only got 4 hours sleep woke up fine this morning but now I feel like I've been hit like a ton of bricks. Tired, hot even though the airs on and stretching all the time. It could be a combo of both being tired and some revisit of w/d. Whatever it is I'm sure it will pass with a good night sleep tonight. I hope. I'm a little disappointed because I wanted to do some stuff to my hair today. Oh well there's always tomorrow.
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  7. #157
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fran421 View Post
    Well I don't know if it's because I was out late last night and I'm tired or what. I only got 4 hours sleep woke up fine this morning but now I feel like I've been hit like a ton of bricks. Tired, hot even though the airs on and stretching all the time. It could be a combo of both being tired and some revisit of w/d. Whatever it is I'm sure it will pass with a good night sleep tonight. I hope. I'm a little disappointed because I wanted to do some stuff to my hair today. Oh well there's always tomorrow.
    Hi Fran,

    I don't think I've stopped more than once here since you jumped. You're doing incredibly. Believe it. What you're feeling now isn't withdrawal. It's just your body recovering from what it's been through. If you've read enough threads around here, it's frequently referred to as "the lead suit". That best describes the intense lethargy that will hang around for a little while after a jump regardless of the amount of sleep you were able to get (or not). Just go with the flow. Some days will be better than others and sometimes you're just going to feel exhausted. Push yourself when you have to and take it easy if you want to. If you can force yourself up and out of the house, some light exercise like a nice walk will always help.

    Nowhere to go but forward and you're dong just that.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  8. #158
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Thanks for the help Cat. I guess this is a real fight for survival almost. Your body waging an ever increasing war on itself to recover. I must remember that it's not over completely and try to do more simpler things not wear myself out although I'm sure the dancing was good exercise. Well day 15- I could push myself to do more but work tomorrow and Since I worked yesterday I deserve a day off. So I'm just going to take a break and then push through another day.
    Thanks for all the help.
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  9. #159
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Day 16-
    I did sleep very well. I fell out about 930p, got up a couples during the night to go to bathroom but fell right back to sleep. I'm grateful. So far I feel good but only time will tell. Taking off today to catch up on some spring cleaning before the official start of summer. Have a good day.

  10. #160
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Okay I feel like I've taken a step backwards. My hands are so hot they feel like I have a fever. My arms have that weird sensation again. I took an 800 mg ibuprofen which I haven't needed for about 3 days. I just have to wait it out. This thing is stubborn. I cleaning stuff and working through it but what a tease first I think I'm through it and now this. Like I said time is the major factor here and 16 days is great but like I've read on the forum you can have some setbacks you just have to work through it.

  11. #161
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey Fran. Don't worry about it. It is all normal. Right about when I was at 3 weeks I felt like I went back to day 6-7. Depression hit me like a Mack truck, anxiety, fatigue, chills, tummy issues. It was so deflating. I felt like I was turning the corner and then BAM right back to where I felt c.rappy. It will pass, get out and take a walk if you can. I know you're doing some cleaning today. Stay busy and try to keep your mind off it. It will pass and you will feel better. You're doing great by the way!!!

    Beef

  12. #162
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Thanks Beef. I've tried to stay busy today. I am a little more relaxed right now and somewhat stable. I'm going to try to go to sleep early and wish for the best tomorrow. Good night.
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  13. #163
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Day 17-
    No extreme symptoms, just feel a little tired like I have no umph. At work making the best of it. It took me forever to get going this morning. Maybe it will get better by this afternoon. Starting my no smoking campaign again. Bought some more nicotine gum. Those damn smoking commercials scare the chit out of me and I guess that's what their supposed to do. Have a great day.

  14. #164
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    I know I just posted but I have to post again to chronicalize this. My back hurts and my arms hurt like I have been bench pressing 200 pounds. I'm tired but I slept for 8 hours. This demon suboxone just won't leave me alone. I know it's going to get better and fade but it can be a crippling experience. If I didn't real want this I could understand why people relapse. I don't have that option there is no turning back. It's like having a child and losing sleep and working round the clock to take care of that child. You may think I take it back I don't want to be a parent anymore but you stick it through because there is no other option. You take care if yourself or you die. It may not be a physical death but it is a death of defeat. I cannot allow a drug to defeat me. God did not create my body to be a thing to harbor wastes and suboxone and opiates are a waste. I will beat this thing. I'm at battle and I'm a marine and I will survive.
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  15. #165
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fran421 View Post
    I know I just posted but I have to post again to chronicalize this. My back hurts and my arms hurt like I have been bench pressing 200 pounds. I'm tired but I slept for 8 hours. This demon suboxone just won't leave me alone. I know it's going to get better and fade but it can be a crippling experience. If I didn't real want this I could understand why people relapse. I don't have that option there is no turning back. It's like having a child and losing sleep and working round the clock to take care of that child. You may think I take it back I don't want to be a parent anymore but you stick it through because there is no other option. You take care if yourself or you die. It may not be a physical death but it is a death of defeat. I cannot allow a drug to defeat me. God did not create my body to be a thing to harbor wastes and suboxone and opiates are a waste. I will beat this thing. I'm at battle and I'm a marine and I will survive.
    Hi Fran,

    Sorry you're having a tough time right now but yes, it will pass. I and all of us here totally understand how hard this is but we keep ,moving forward just like you're doing.

    I had to respond to this post. It touched me. My biggest regret of my addiction is how it affected my kids. I can't take that back and I can't change it. All I can do is to be the best Mom that I can today. Regardless of how hard things get and still resist the temptation to escape it all, I don't have to work too hard to remember the sadness and worry in the eyes of my kids and know that I was the cause of it. They forgave me quicker than I forgave myself but I somehow knew that I had to find a way to forgive myself if this recovery thing was going to stick. For a time early on, it honestly felt hopeless. How would I manage? COULD I manage. I had to keep trying sometimes one minute at a time.

    It's a good attitude to try and improve ourselves in whatever way is possible. I have to quit smoking. lol The healthier we are, the better parent we can be.

    You are going to win this war. One battle, one day at a time.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  16. #166
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Thank you Cat. I have been feeling a little better, I survived day 17. Hoping for a better tomorrow. I get what your saying about the kids. My youngest son is so proud of me right now. My oldest son has some reservations only time will tell with him. It means a lot to me to be the mother they deserve. I also don't want to start this thing all over it's too hard to start this thing all over. It's great to know that people understand what your going through. I think I will go to the meeting close to home on Thursday. It's great to have the support you guys. Man! Where would I be if I didn't surf the web for help and find this forum. You guys are irreplaceable. You have survived and your still giving back. Have a great night.
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  17. #167
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Day 18-
    So far so good but you never know if I'll crash and burn later. But I will stay positive. Yesterday was a bad day and today will be a good day.
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  18. #168
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    That's what I'm talking about!! Go get it! Carpe diem
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  19. #169
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Thanks Beef! Well today is day 19 and so far all's good in the neighborhood. Time can really go by. I mean some of the symptoms hang around but at least now it gets better. You learn how to cope with it when it comes. 19 days, what! I never imagined I could make this far and it's better than day 1, 2, or 3. It just keeps getting better. Stay strong everybody. It's worth it.
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  20. #170
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Day 20_
    All's good.
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  21. #171
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    21 amazing days - wow how amazing. This is getting better everyday. I really have no complaints. I really feel I can do this now. My confidence is up and I feel amazing. I had to go through what I did in my addiction to get here. That's the only way I knew I had enough. I have never made it this far since I had my surgery in 2010 then the subs for 4 years. Now finally freedom.

  22. #172
    froggy_069 is offline Member
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    No feeling like you can do this, you absolutely CAN do this and you are!

    Congratulations, keep up the good work!

    ~Froggy

  23. #173
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Thank you Groggy. It's been 23 days and I did have a better time of it this weekend. I actually had some fun for a change no work this weekend. Something good has happened I don't know if it's temporary and will come back but I'm enjoying it. No hot hands. All through w/d my hands were always hot and now I don't feel like I have a fever in my hands. Weird but true. Have a good day.

  24. #174
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    24 days -
    I wish I had more to say but I'm just grateful. That's all I can say. Have a good day.

  25. #175
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Well if I yawn or stretch which is a reoccurring problem suddenly my necks starts twitching like I got MS or something it's weird. I haven't had an ibuprofen in quite a few days but my hip still hurts and my neck is twitching. I'm falling apart. Just say in.

  26. #176
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Day 25-
    I noticed certain changes are happening. I'm start to feel more of everything! It's like the fog is lifted and I've been thrown back into the world of emotions, passion and it's unbelievable. I've been going out more it's cool. But I have to watch out because you can develop other addictions I mean it's better than pills but it's good to have a handle on things. Just saying. Have a good day.

  27. #177
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Day 26_
    Listening to my music loud last night and I could really hear it and feel it and I felt alive. Music I haven't listened to in years and it felt great to be naturally high on music. Nothing really to report, no physical symptoms or depression at least not yet. Cool!
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  28. #178
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Yep...
    We come alive...
    Pretty great eh...
    Your doing amazing

  29. #179
    Fran421 is offline Member
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    Thank you Living, I appreciate that.

  30. #180
    jeffrey123 is offline Member
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    Hello Fran...thank you so much for posting your story..It was just what I needed this morning.. You make me want to follow thru with my taper and live again. Have a great day. Jeff

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