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trying to get my life back free from prescription pain day 1
  1. #151
    Marie19 is offline New Member
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    I give everyone on this forum a lot of credit and love for going through this. I am a 56 year old women who has been on pain killers for 12 years. What my body went through in the past 20 years+ its understandable why I have the Fibro, Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc disease and much more. I was thrown off a motorcycle, flew off a bicycle, fell and landed on my back. Arthritis runs in the family but I don't have Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus or have never had surgery. My neck is bone on bone, so are my knees and I get injections that help, but most of all I got dependent on my pain meds to get me through the day and all the chores and activities that I do. Recently I retired and went on the State's insurance, tried the Obamacare but it took all the extra money I had. I had no choice with my health problems. So now the state's insurance doesn't like the pain killers I am on and I need preapprovals done. Last month they had a problem with the amount, so my doctor cut my script in half. I am so tired of these problems with these pills that I looked into what else I can take that you can't get dependent on. There is a powder, people call it "the dirt" and a tablespoon a day can give you energy, flush your body of all toxins, make your hair, skin, teeth and nails better than ever. The testimonies are excellent from real people who have the same problems as me. I have to wait to order this dirt, but I was wondering if anyone ever heard of it or used it? I also read that the pharmaceutical companies added stuff to these pills so you become dependent. God put this opium plant on earth and in it's true form it's not a problem to take, but I don't understand how they get you dependent and now there is a epidemic and people who really need them are being treated like it's our fault. Like I said I would love to go off them but how am I going to deal with the joint pain, Tylenol for the swelling but still I cannot see me doing my chores or hobbies with pain. Please someone who has arthritis and fibro who has taken themselves off these dam things, how are you coping? Has anyone tried this "dirt" and did it work? I don't know all the rules to this forum and I can post the website for this dirt but I don't want to get in trouble as this is my first post. By the way, kudos to all of you that are going without, I wish I had your determination, but I'm too old, tired and in a lot of pain. I don't think I can go through the withdrawals after all these years. I tried once, cold turkey and on day 3 I thought I was going to have a heart attack, can't chance that because my mom died of a heart condition. Any replies are welcome and thank you.

  2. #152
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBecky View Post
    Had a very difficult time getting out of bed today, even though I went to bed super early. Just no energy at all! Day 13, btw. I went ahead and picked up the loperamide tabs bc my stomach has really been bothering me and after being so incredibly constipated for so long, this morning it was the complete opposite! They're 2mg tablets, not gels either. I took 36mg bc I really have felt lousy, mentally and physically. Just wanted to see if it made a difference. My stomach pain seems to be getting a little better. Just very heavy and blah. But my attitude is there, I want to be clean. My mind just wants something else. And it's constant.. This part is much harder than I thought..
    yeah. ... loperamide usually works wonders. When you take it, see it you get normal. Something when it kicks in, you totally forget about the withdrawals until they come back. I noticed loperamide lasts about 24 hours. Take another 36mgv when you feel real bad. Day 13 is huge! Almost 2 full weeks. I got my first natural high on day 14 and its gottem better and better by the day. I'm on day 20. Had my first actualy good morning. Felt great! I'm enjoying it since for the last 2 days, i had bouts of depression during the mid day. They lasted about 2 to 3 hours. I feel as I'm 80% almost there mentally. I just need more frequent happy mental states. They are still some what spaced but I'm aware that's just normal at this stage. Paws pretty much. But on the good news. ..... my old self personality has come. I feel different, think different and not easily annoyed. I have more patience. And very stable work my other emotions. I'm beginning to feel like my old self. Its odd. And not as socially awkward. So not bad i must say. Also... cringe every time i think about using these pills again, it just brings back memories of the first week of wd. So that's another good thing to look forward too! So keep adding the day! Its paying off for me so it should also pay off for you too. Keep posting... it helps you and everyone else wondering if this is possible.

  3. #153
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Futurem View Post
    Day 9. I'm feeling good, for the most part. Have had tons of anxiety tho. Thought about going down to the store and buying a lil bit of pot, however I decided not to, thought it best to do this 100% on my own, don't need any more vices! I had to refrain fro drinking any alcohol at my cousins graduation for the same reason. Why is it now I'm just in the mood to get tanked? I've never been that person!? I look around at this awesome life I have and can't see what I'm trying to hide from, or what's just so bad that I have to be jacked up to make it through. I guess I've been really selfish. Wondering if I should go see an addiction specialist? Is that too extreme? Or is they way I'm feeling part of this process? All input appreciated thanks!
    Yup.... anxiety is part of the package. It got me good all the way to day 7. Then went away. Now i have no anxiety. Futurem...perfectly normal to feel off by alot at day 9. That's when i had bad cravings and was looking at everything differently but in a negative way. You have to remember, your mind is rewiring itself. Its not balanced yet. You will have many negative thoughts. Absolutely normal. Only cure is exactly what you are doing, time. Only way to tell if you need a addictive specialist is to gather all the courage and will power and make it through day 14. That's 2 weeks. If you can't handle it by that time, might be other underlining issues. Usually 2 weeks gives type mind enough time to see glimpse of hope. They might be minor but >> you see them then it's a great sign is just your brain healing itself still. Imo... going to any specialist will lead to other meds that again start you ay day one. Not always the case but I've seen it. Just keep doing what you are doing! Day 9 is do huge! You don't know how many people wished they were on day 9 already. Some are at 24 hours no opiates! Hating life! So don't let these 9 days go to waste!

    Now. ... alcohol is a no no. Trust me! It will set in depression when you are coming down from it! Then it will break your will power. >> stay far away for now. Once you go clean for months, then maybe a glass of wine here and there. Personally i never liked alcohol but have drank it only in special occasions. Rarely though.

    Pot..... that is something i would not know. It's a individual thing. For me, i can't smoke it. For the few times that i did. .. it always have me severe paranoia and anxiety! I mean crazy maniac paranoia! Lol. I may can't smoke that stuff. But some people claim it helps them after being off these meds. But i dont know..... i think it's just another substitute drug. That's just me.

    Again... day 9, expect more ups and down during the day. I saw some hope on day 14. Rhodesy saw some at day 13. That means all the data or there is some what on point. After 2 weeks you see some light. So keep going!
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  4. #154
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBecky View Post
    I feel the same exact way. I don't know why I feel like I'm a better person to everyone when I'm high, or what I'm hiding from. I think mine is a complete lack of confidence in myself as a person, as a mother, as a partner and friend. Before drugs, I went thru a phase where I was very shy and introverted. Drugs took away that anxiety and allowed me to be extroverted and social. Anti-depressants didn't work on me bc they made me feel tired and blah...almost robotic. Opiates gave me this crazy energy and overall good, warm feeling, and that's the way I wanted to feel all the time. I got so much done. Felt no pain, stayed on top of my kids activities. It was like a miracle drug for me. But when the docs stop prescribing it and you have to find it illegally, that's when it gets ugly. The lies...the money...the danger. Subutex was a great alternative for me, but the expense after a year and half, was not fair to my family. And Suboxone, which I had to switch to in order to taper down, just made me blah like the anti-depressants. I think I DEFINITELY need to talk to an addictions specialist. I want to know how to find that happiness naturally and get the dark thoughts and cravings out of my head. Aside from the opiates, I'm a complete health nut! But now I don't even want to go to the gym, don't want to eat. I can barely get thru my job and then all I want to do is go home and sleep. My house is falling apart. And my mind keeps telling me that things were not this bad on opiates. Its like a sick game that I can't win.
    listen.... rehab centers use the monkey on your back trick. They claim addiction is like having a small nagging monkey sitting on your shoulders bouncing around pulling you hair and bitting your ears. Its relentless for a few days until it gets bored and just sits there. Only to slap your head and pull your hair once in a while. Eventualy with time that monkey gets bored and tired, jumps off and scatters away. That monkey is the addiction. If you ignore it long enough you will laugh at the primate when its long gone. At day 9 that monkey is not bored yet. It needs more sitting time. If you are this far, you have will power. So many people cave in and feed the monkey after 2-3 days. So day 9 says alot.

    Relate to you 100%! These pill gave me a incredible burst of confidence and energy. I loooved them! But like any drug, it slowly consumes you. I have never heard of a successful drug addict. We all crumble eventually and end up on boards like this. Lol. Heres some hope for you, there ARE prior addicts that have returned to a normal life and they say they are happier now than on the relentless pain on keeping up with the addiction. That's where i want to be and have set my mind to it. Will i make it? Don't know. I hope i do. But I'm so happy now that i don't have to see the doctor every month and shell out 300$. That's a car payment. So i have extra money and treat myself to many things i never could due to the pills pills pills.

    So keep going . ... these down feeling will space themselves! Trust me it happens to all of us getting off these things. Key is to hold on!

  5. #155
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marie19 View Post
    I give everyone on this forum a lot of credit and love for going through this. I am a 56 year old women who has been on pain killers for 12 years. What my body went through in the past 20 years+ its understandable why I have the Fibro, Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc disease and much more. I was thrown off a motorcycle, flew off a bicycle, fell and landed on my back. Arthritis runs in the family but I don't have Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus or have never had surgery. My neck is bone on bone, so are my knees and I get injections that help, but most of all I got dependent on my pain meds to get me through the day and all the chores and activities that I do. Recently I retired and went on the State's insurance, tried the Obamacare but it took all the extra money I had. I had no choice with my health problems. So now the state's insurance doesn't like the pain killers I am on and I need preapprovals done. Last month they had a problem with the amount, so my doctor cut my script in half. I am so tired of these problems with these pills that I looked into what else I can take that you can't get dependent on. There is a powder, people call it "the dirt" and a tablespoon a day can give you energy, flush your body of all toxins, make your hair, skin, teeth and nails better than ever. The testimonies are excellent from real people who have the same problems as me. I have to wait to order this dirt, but I was wondering if anyone ever heard of it or used it? I also read that the pharmaceutical companies added stuff to these pills so you become dependent. God put this opium plant on earth and in it's true form it's not a problem to take, but I don't understand how they get you dependent and now there is a epidemic and people who really need them are being treated like it's our fault. Like I said I would love to go off them but how am I going to deal with the joint pain, Tylenol for the swelling but still I cannot see me doing my chores or hobbies with pain. Please someone who has arthritis and fibro who has taken themselves off these dam things, how are you coping? Has anyone tried this "dirt" and did it work? I don't know all the rules to this forum and I can post the website for this dirt but I don't want to get in trouble as this is my first post. By the way, kudos to all of you that are going without, I wish I had your determination, but I'm too old, tired and in a lot of pain. I don't think I can go through the withdrawals after all these years. I tried once, cold turkey and on day 3 I thought I was going to have a heart attack, can't chance that because my mom died of a heart condition. Any replies are welcome and thank you.
    hi Marie19! Then there are those like yourself. People with chronic pain. I know about obamacare and what a disaster it is. But that's a whole other topic. Now. ... i just want to mention that lots pf people claimes that these opiate meds trick your mind that you are is worse pain than what you really are. Some that have gone clean have said that they are in less pain now than on the pills. It could be a possibility on your case. Only way to find out is to maybe ween yourself off since you are older. But the shortest way like many people claim, is to just stop cold turkey. That's the shortest recovery. Weening prolongs the whole process.

  6. #156
    Futurem is offline New Member
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    I really can't wait to be there.

  7. #157
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBecky View Post
    DAY 14, C-Frog!!! My magic number. I feel AWESOME! Woke up super early with a surge of endorphines, NOT sweats, no chills, stomach pain turned to hunger...which is good bc I haven't had an appetite in weeks!! I cannot wait for the sun to come up so I can take kids to school and hit the gym before work. Who is this chick?! I have so much natural energy right now, I want to clean my disaster of a house bc I cannot believe I let it get this bad...and I'm a cleaning lady!!! I cannot believe I almost caved the other day. Yup, actually had my "monkey" hoping and praying the doctor would prescribe me a boat load of percs...but who knew? Naproxen and muscle relaxers?! My neck and back actually feel a little better. I can feel the pain, and my carpal tunnel, but it's no longer eating at my soul. I usually wake up with horrible pain in my hands from however hard I worked them the day before, and I feel it but they're mostly just tingling. I feel like my natural pain receptors are beginning to work again! I'll say it, you were right! That 2nd week was mind-bending! My physical symptoms actually became worse during those anxiety-ridden days (6-9, or whatever)...seems like a blur now. I don't even feel like I just went thru w/d, but it's familiar enough to keep me from going back. I'm sure there will be waves and my monkey will try to bug me from time to time, but I'm holding onto this feeling as long as I can!!! Amazing... First natural high I've had in YEARS!!! Loving it!!
    Lol! Awesome. ...! Yes that is the key. Time and time only. I'm glad day 14 brought your first natural endorphin rush! That was mines as well. Made me realize that I'm actually going to enjoy life again and really made me think about not ever.. EVER opiates. Now. ... seems you had this natural rush today then you ate probably on the same time line im in. Here's some incredible but also critical news on what to expect from here on out. After my first rush [day14] the next day was average. And stayed average with slight depression creeping in for only like 2 to 3 hours. This went on until day 19. The good news is the craving are slight but easily contained by doing any activity. Now. .. here is the real good news. .. yesterday on day 20 I woke up feeling the same feeling you felt, may a good natural high. And it stayed with me ALL day! Incredible good feeling I had! An amazing 20th day ! Felt so normal! Now today in actually not as happy rushed like yesterday but I feel above average! So that's a great sign my mind is finally regulating itself in its final stage. Freaking happy..lol. now i have experienced what every successful opiate addict quitter have said .. and I quote "I feel so much happier now than on the pills". So its solidified for me. .. its actually true!

    Now, i Have a theory on theory going on. I believe i have entered the final stage of recovery. Where as the brain is almost done regulating itself and now I'm getting waves of natural endorphins that are getting closer to them selves. In a few more days I should be out of the wave stage and have a very clear stable balanced flew of brain chemical. Then that's when I have ended this horrendous journey. Lol.

    sweetbecky... excellent job on holding on! I was wondering if you were going to cave in. I'm glad you didn't! I think the 2nd week hits the mind very hard. So hard many relapse due to the hopeless feeling they get. And convince themselves in any way to use again. Good job sweet Becky! This rush you have today will carry you the whole day, you'll see what i mean. Now. . Tomorrow be careful and understand the stage. You won't feel this good bit you will feel ok. It will carry on for close to 4 to 6 days. Then you will get your 2nd rush of happiness and that 2nd rush will be soo amazing and that will be your defense for not using again. Im no doctor but very observant. Soo enjoy your day becky...... thats what is waiting for you in the future! Even though you kids don't know what's going on, they would agree with me in you continuing this clean path!

  8. #158
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Futurem View Post
    I really can't wait to be there.
    ohhh.... yo will. Trust me and the other hundreds of recovered users. Its time that holds the key! So keep holding on futurem! You are deep into being clean now. ... go deeper! Soon you will be on our same boat! Time is key! And dont take anything but food! Fastest route is to stay clean iff all meds! Even loperamide . At this stage even that should be avoided. Hold on... ill be counting on you!

  9. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBecky View Post
    You CAN and you WILL!!! Theseit had last two weeks dragged and flew by at the same time! Weird!!! I was actually looking online for sub docs and pain management clinics in the area not even 48 hrs ago. Now I'm slapping myself for even thinking about it bc I cannot believe how great I feel today. It came out of nowhere. Just when I thought the cravings and dreams of being all hyped up on pills would never end, the waves of anxiety and hopelessness... Heck, I still had goose skin as I was falling asleep last night!! I think that one big dose of loperamide helped...might be TMI, but within about 6hrs, I noticed a big decrease in my w/d symptoms. I know others have said to "get it on" for endorphins...well, with the stomach issues and overall blah feeling, I've been avoiding my hubby like the plague for last two weeks. I'd either wait for him to fall asleep before going to bed, or making sure I was fast asleep on the nights he worked and came home late. Last night, out of habit, I went to bed when he did... Without even thinking I gave him "the eyes"... Holy wow. I used to think alcohol and pills made everything better. Nope. Wrong.

    Get the endorphins going no matter what you have to do!!! The more you make your own natural dopamine and serotonin start flowing naturally, the more they will begin to regenerate themselves!!! If you would've told me this as little as yesterday when I woke up and absolutely did not want to get out of bed or work and cried for te first hour... I would've thrown something at you and told you to take your giddy happiness somewhere else. But you need to know it's THAT close, right around the corner, a few short strides away!!! Do NOT give up or give in!!! You're almost there!!!
    lol! Thst was the huge dose of lope mosy likely. Trust me on that, when i was in wd hell a while back i took 100mg of lopermide because i almost lost my mind. I was in full blown withdrawals around 10am. Dosed 100mg and waited. It was my first time using it as a cure since many people swear by it. I was dissapointed at first because it was 1 hour later and all i felt my my neck shoulder area tense up. But omg.. 3 hours later it was like i was totally normal and happy. Not a high opiate type but a normal happy type. Then i realized that the loperamide actually freaking worked! I was so happy to have found a solution for opiate wd. Not only did it remove the body symptoms but also the minds. I was 99.99% cured.

    Now. .. be careful. These are high dosages and are not meant to be used very long term. I never used more than 3 days on a row. Mainly because nobody knows if loperamide actually prolongs the withdrawals. Some day yes and other have no clue. From my short experience, i think it does but very slightly. Because when i got off the loperamide i ended up getting nights sweats the next following night. And i was already over the nights sweats before starting the lopermide dosages. That's why i think it might prolong it. And that's another reason I think it should be only used when in the beggining stages of wd or if you are about to give up and use again. Its a saver. Oh yeah.... it also made me sleep like a baby. Lol

    Oh yeah... getting the mind back in balance brings back the sexual drive. Haha! Good for you, same as you i already eye balled my wife at night. Hehe
    its weird... sex does seem more pleasurable for sure. It has to be the natural increase of production of endorphines and dopamine , giving you a extra boost of feel good. Weird how the mind works. I tend to think deep on these matters and understand them so i can work with them. I'm no Doc, my field is I.T but i have learned lots of the mind process. Hence I keep saying time is key.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-21-2015 at 02:47 PM.

  10. #160
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBecky View Post
    Good feeling staying strong all day! Even got into a normal screaming match with the hubby over house cleaning and I just shrugged it off and walked away! Normally I'd cry and think about numbing. Nope. Just kept cleaning and beeeotching to myself. LoL. My "mega dose" of loperamide was 40mgs and I did it in two doses. First I took 15, then about 8hrs later I took 10 more. Didn't even really notice anything until I woke up and the goosies were gone. I was energized and hopeful and happy! Motivated, most of all. So much motivation to clean up the messes around me. Still feel like a completely normal person and absolutely no cravings. Even if I still get some mild w/d, I now know that my body has the ability to feel great on its own and NOTHING will jeopardize that! I was even friendly and polite to people at the grocery store earlier. Normally I just keep my head down and hope no one looks at me or talks to me. Just an overall peaceful feeling, happy to be a living breathing part of the society organism! Nothing's gonna bring me down!!! Not even grouchy man friend! As long as he smokes his cheech, he's fine. I'm high on life!!!
    lol. "Beeeotching". Too funny! Haha! Good Becky ! You are doing amazing!

  11. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBecky View Post
    Doesn't matter what the field of study... Drug addicts have an empathetic understanding that some others will not ever be able to fully understand. I truly believe that! My care and concern for humans, especially those close to my heart, is exploding with empathy and understanding! Negativity is gone bc positivity is the true cure. Timing is everything and we all serve a great purpose. Some of us have to struggle and suffer to really grasp it, but I now know mine is to help others through the madness and give back the gifts that those who came before me graciously gave me, you included!! This forum saved my life, my sanity, my future and my family!!! No amount of thanks and gratuity could even begin to express what I truly feel inside and what I plan to do with all of it. I'm just getting started!!! Rather, we've only just begun
    Ahhhh..... [sitting back enjoying a cigar]. Yup, im actually enjoying a cigar. Haven't had one in a long time. It was a above average good day for me again. I don't drink so my next poison of choice is a cigar. Well....... as you can see, time is such a critical mechanism in this process. Now that you are days into it, taste your new freedom. Its mighty enjoyable. Even for me my mood is so different. I was always cranky, little things woyld get me upset with the wifey. Now she says something that bothers me, it doesn't phase me. It just goes through one ear and it the other. Weird how opiates change moods and perception. Now instead of going to sleep annoyed, i head to bed normal and sexually interested. Fascinating results. This the first time I have gone clean so long. Almost like entering a new world. And i like it indeed. Well Becky, its a long journey for sure. I thanked Rhodesy for his responses towards me so it's your turn. Thank you very much. Any input from anyone is so helpful when going through this. Even if the input is towards grief of their discomfort, responding with good intentions does something to the other party. It helped me tremendously. Sleep well! I'm off to bed.
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    DAY 16--- I. Feel. AWESOME. Like a distant memory... As if I was never a drug addict, but it's still there in my mind. I just know to never go back. Nothing can beat this natural high I feel. Making up for lost time!! I'm up every morning ready to conquer the day, catch up with my kids. It's the best feeling ever!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mayflower14 View Post
    DAY 16--- I. Feel. AWESOME. Like a distant memory... As if I was never a drug addict, but it's still there in my mind. I just know to never go back. Nothing can beat this natural high I feel. Making up for lost time!! I'm up every morning ready to conquer the day, catch up with my kids. It's the best feeling ever!!!
    nice! Once you feel that one good rush day, it just reinforces the will power. The lady hellish days become like dreams, its word but the memories are little. Time is key along with complete rx and otc abstinence. Everyone just needs to keep holding off until they get to that magical day. It's so worth it!
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    I'm beginning to feel BETTER than normal, like a super hero or something!! Playing Just Dance with the kids and I think I'M more into it than they are! All of the numb times and missed memories can be retrieved by making new and more quality and meaningful memories!! Never expected it to be this easy!!!

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    Don't get me wrong, I still feel physical waves... Like that sweaty feeling and my hair smells funky? Like when you wake up after w/d-ing in your sleep? Hard to explain. I've felt that all day...and I even showered and everything.. But the fun far out-weighs the not-so-fun. Maybe I just have enough to distract me. My little boys went to sleep and I'm still playing Just Dance...with purpose, I might add! Supposed to go out and join the hubby at a gig. He even has his sister coming over to babysit. But I'm really enjoying the Kinect endorphins. I could've left hours ago. I guess maybe we trade our old addictions for new ones? As long as they're healthy ones, I'm game! (Pun intended, and it wasn't even intended)

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    Hi mayflower! Good for you. Just remember about paws. Its real and lengthy. Agree on the smell, kinda like a mettalic smell. Weird , many report the same thing. It always happens to be l me aswell. Stay clean.

  17. #167
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    Hmm... I've felt great last several days. Minor little things but certainly nothing to cry about. Tons of energy and sleeping great. Went out to my husband's gig. Got my normal drink. (This is typical... Nothing out of the ordinary.)
    So anyway, I barely even had a few sips. All of the sudden, I was completely overwhelmed with nausea and extremely dizzy. Actually had to go out to my car bc I thought I was going to get sick. Turned completely pale and broke out in an all over sweat. Kind of like a diabetic attack... Now I just feel extremely dizzy and having a difficult time keeping my eyes open in a loud, crowded bar. I'd be first to say that my drink got ruphed, but I had it the entire time. After the sweat, I got chills. I feel completely drugged and it's not subsiding, however the nausea went away. I did do big doses of immodium last couple days but I made sure to taper down and haven't had any in about 14hrs? and last dose was smallest. Could this be a result of the high doses of immodium mixed with alcohol? Just feels very strange...

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    Better now. I feel a little "off kilter", like I rode a spinny carnival ride... But nothing like I was feeling earlier. Still feels a little like I was drugged, but that's just impossible. My drink was never unattended! My husband actually ran off stage and threw up about 45mins after me feeling that way. My daughter was sent home from school two days ago after tossing her cookies in class. She also did the same several times in our short ride home. But she never actually felt "sick", no fever or anything. She was actually laughing about it. Maybe it was just some mild bug? Just wanted to document in case it was a result of too much immodium, just in case. Even though my stomach feels a little weak at the moment, it's nothing that's going to bother me too much. It was scary in the moment, but not really worried as of now. Sorry for hijacking the thread!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-24-2015 at 02:25 AM.

  19. #169
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    @crazyfrog.. YESSS, metallic smell and feeling, if that makes any sense at all! Great description ! So weird.

  20. #170
    junderwood312 is offline New Member
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    Hello brothers, I can relate to you as I am on day 7 of dilaudid withdrawls. I am not right in the head at all, I am very emotional and depressed-more like I isolate myself all day and night. I am struggling hard and am contemplating that methadone maintenance program as I have a messed up lower back. I have been through withdrawals before but always go back to the meds. I want off this rollercoaster, but if I am going to do this program I am committed for life. I am sick of feeling like *****and just want to feel somewhat normal again. I was on subutex for a few months and then went right back to pain meds through a pain doc.

  21. #171
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mayflower14 View Post
    @crazyfrog.. YESSS, metallic smell and feeling, if that makes any sense at all! Great description ! So weird.
    hi mayflower. Sorry for the late reply, didn't think to much of the recovery. My mind is almost at 80 to 85% normal. So im being normal mental days now. As for the reaction to immodium and a drink, its odd. Haven't heard of that. Since your family also threw up, could have been a bug. Wouldn't worry since you are better. But yes. .. taper off loperamide. Its not long term. It can be dangerous with severe compact stool. So I'd taper off and go 100% clean. Loperamide does a great job masking the symptoms and should be used for a short periods of the worst spots in recocery.

    But I'm glad you are doing good, life being clean now looks and feels didn't. Is not bad at all. I'm feeling like my old self and is hair are coming back strong! Been very happy getting home every day to get done some of my stopped cgi rendering projects . Is a hobby but i love it. Under pills, i lost interest. Weird . Well... start clean!

  22. #172
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    Quote Originally Posted by junderwood312 View Post
    Hello brothers, I can relate to you as I am on day 7 of dilaudid withdrawls. I am not right in the head at all, I am very emotional and depressed-more like I isolate myself all day and night. I am struggling hard and am contemplating that methadone maintenance program as I have a messed up lower back. I have been through withdrawals before but always go back to the meds. I want off this rollercoaster, but if I am going to do this program I am committed for life. I am sick of feeling like *****and just want to feel somewhat normal again. I was on subutex for a few months and then went right back to pain meds through a pain doc.
    hi there . Yeah.... these pills rob your life. For the momentary euphoria it once have us, it stoled everything else. Even the euphoria was gone or weak. Sucks to be in that cycle. You got 1 week clean, i highly suggest to stay clean for a minimum of 2 weeks. So your half. Then give our a good thought on the methadone road . That drug is worst than any other opiate to get off. That's what i hear and read. It's equal to suboxone in the severe wd and lengthy recovery. I'd you truly want to stay clean, you have to go full cold turkey and no excuses. And bare the next 2 weeks. The mind will be so off balance, after 2 weeks you notice mind leveling slightly. So hold on brother. Do it for your old self. These pills are not worry the money and time. It just leads to a very bad outcome .

  23. #173
    Mayflower14 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazyfrog View Post
    hi mayflower. Sorry for the late reply, didn't think to much of the recovery. My mind is almost at 80 to 85% normal. So im being normal mental days now. As for the reaction to immodium and a drink, its odd. Haven't heard of that. Since your family also threw up, could have been a bug. Wouldn't worry since you are better. But yes. .. taper off loperamide. Its not long term. It can be dangerous with severe compact stool. So I'd taper off and go 100% clean. Loperamide does a great job masking the symptoms and should be used for a short periods of the worst spots in recocery.

    But I'm glad you are doing good, life being clean now looks and feels didn't. Is not bad at all. I'm feeling like my old self and is hair are coming back strong! Been very happy getting home every day to get done some of my stopped cgi rendering projects . Is a hobby but i love it. Under pills, i lost interest. Weird . Well... start clean!
    Yeah... Haven't had the loperamide since earlier that day. Took a nap this evening after running around with kids all day. Woke up with the most severe abdominal cramping I've ever had before, and I've experienced plenty in that region before. Not sure if I'm severely impacted or what. But the pain I had usually only lasts a few mins and I've had that problem since I was a kid. This was 3hrs of dying. It hurt and cramped so badly I was crying and almost vomited from the pain. I'm in the ER now. I feel like I have a spiked metal ball in my intestines. I seriously thought I was going to die. Not worried about pain pills bc that would be the last thing I want right now anyway. I have no desire to take the loperamide either. The only reason I did the other day is bc I had tapered down over 2 days. So I had a total of 4 doses... 1st one was 36mg, then 10mg 8hrs after that. Next day I did 30mg then final day I did 20mg. Something is seriously wrong with my stomach right now. Just had some X-rays done.

  24. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mayflower14 View Post
    Yeah... Haven't had the loperamide since earlier that day. Took a nap this evening after running around with kids all day. Woke up with the most severe abdominal cramping I've ever had before, and I've experienced plenty in that region before. Not sure if I'm severely impacted or what. But the pain I had usually only lasts a few mins and I've had that problem since I was a kid. This was 3hrs of dying. It hurt and cramped so badly I was crying and almost vomited from the pain. I'm in the ER now. I feel like I have a spiked metal ball in my intestines. I seriously thought I was going to die. Not worried about pain pills bc that would be the last thing I want right now anyway. I have no desire to take the loperamide either. The only reason I did the other day is bc I had tapered down over 2 days. So I had a total of 4 doses... 1st one was 36mg, then 10mg 8hrs after that. Next day I did 30mg then final day I did 20mg. Something is seriously wrong with my stomach right now. Just had some X-rays done.
    let us know how you are doing. And if they offer you pain pills, lol..... resist! Remember...... you will have to go back to day 1.

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    They didn't offer me pain pills. That would only make everything worse! But they gave me a medication that knocks me on my ass...for, ahem, the OPPOSITE of constipation. So I'm still in a lot of pain. Couldn't go to work yesterday bc I couldn't even keep my eyes open. Not helping my back pain either. I feel like I'm being punished.

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    Odd..... wonder what caused it. Best thing now is to take it easy and recover. By the time you get over this. . You will have more clean days.

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    Mayflower... how you holding up?

    Sweetbecky... you disappeared ! You still on track?

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    Havent,had any responses on my thread so I figured this one was still pretty active...I'm on 38 hours since my last dose... I was only at about 30mg a day of blue roxys. I went almost 3 days last week before I gave in and got some to get me through the weekwnd. But I am sooooo ready to be done with this stuff. Just need a little you can do it and this too shall pass. Will I maybe get through this a little sooner seeing the dose was pretty small compared to others that I have read about. Thanks for reading...I have no one else to go to...oh yeah, and I have to work tonight at a restaurant. Yay

  29. #179
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwillgetthroughthis View Post
    Havent,had any responses on my thread so I figured this one was still pretty active...I'm on 38 hours since my last dose... I was only at about 30mg a day of blue roxys. I went almost 3 days last week before I gave in and got some to get me through the weekwnd. But I am sooooo ready to be done with this stuff. Just need a little you can do it and this too shall pass. Will I maybe get through this a little sooner seeing the dose was pretty small compared to others that I have read about. Thanks for reading...I have no one else to go to...oh yeah, and I have to work tonight at a restaurant. Yay
    Hey you! That's considered a low dose. But. .. you will go through hell still.lol. i was on 10-15mg hydro every 4 hours steady for 8 years. Im on day 30 clean. I think our dosages are very similar so this is what you should expect.

    Its a 1 month deal.
    1week: extreme body symptoms
    2nd week: Extreme mental symptoms
    3rd week : bad but not extreme menral symptoms
    4th week: Magic happens, good days show up.

    I'm 90%- mentally recovered. I am almost having back to back good days. They key? Time. And how to make time recovery shortest? Full cold turkey. Just eating good souls be the meds. Good luck! You will have a monkey on your back nagging and whispering to get more pills. Just ignore it, it will leave once it gets bored.

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    Haven't been on in awhile, but feel like I needed to get on. I've been home almost a day, I had a seizure during my w/d needless to say I had the chance to medically detox. I got lucky. don't know how may days I've been clean but I can say I haven't "ate" any pain meds or opiates since May 1! Still adjusting, seems like it was easier being away from life. I know one things for sure, I'm never going back! I still feel like my body temp hasn't regulated but things are much better. opted out on the maintance meds. I've had mixed feelings about it off and on,but I don't wanna be in the cycle again.

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