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Is this withdrawals?? Please help!!!
  1. #1
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    Unhappy Is this withdrawals?? Please help!!!

    My husband has struggled with opiate addiction for years. When we were first married, I pressured him to get clean and he was successful for almost a year. After the birth of my sons, postpartum depression hit and I started using roxis with my husband. I started seeing a psychiatrist and therapist and started on Prozac and xanax (to sleep) but was still abusing roxis and suboxone when we couldn't afford oxy. So I have basically been on at least 60mg of roxis a day or 2-3mg of sub a day for 9 months. I am ready to be done. I got my psychiatrist to switch me to Wellbutrin to help quit smoking and hoping it will help with withdrawals from oxy/sub. I'm on day 2 without opiates and day 2 of Wellbutrin. I have no appetite, chills, diarrhea, restless legs, and could only sleep maybe 2 hours even after taking 1mg of xanax. Weird thing is I'm not tired at all (guessing from the Wellbutrin). Any tips/advice would be much appreciated!! I have two little boys that I adore and I want to get through this so I can be the best mom I can be.

    My husband is still taking subs but has an appt in a couple days to hopefully start Wellbutrin as well. He works 60 hour weeks so I have no idea how he is going to get through this.

  2. #2
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello and welcome. There are a lot of great people here that can give you valuable adviceI, help and encouragement. I have received a lot of help here myself! I have one suggestion, if you don't get that much help in this forum then I would suggest you move your thread to the Need To Talk forum. Seems to have more traffic in that forum? Also, it also seems that the weekends are slower in the forums than during the week? Be patient, people will be by. Wishing the best of luck! God bless us all!

  3. #3
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    Thank you for the reply! I just managed to make my kids lunch which seems like a major accomplishment!! Husband should be home from work in a few hours. I'm already very thin so this no appetite thing is giving me anxiety. It's just hard to tell if this is withdrawals or my body adjusting to Wellbutrin. My husband always said we weren't on enough suboxone to matter (usually did that during the week and pills on the weekends).

  4. #4
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome Struggling,

    Your husband is wrong. Subs are very strong. Multiple times stronger than morphine. The symptoms you describe are classic withdrawal symptoms. Messing with roxis and taking subs to avoid withdrawals is a recipe for disaster and yes. 9 months is plenty of time to become physically addicted to both of them and most especially the sub. How much sub were you taking per day? The half life is a beast. If it were me, I'd work on tapering off the subs and leave the roxis alone.

    Folks will be along with more advice but the most important question at the moment is how many mg of sub per day were you taking and when was your last dose of sub. That will be a starting point.

    Good luck. You can get this done and there's help right here. Great people that you will soon consider your friends if you stick around.

    Peace,

    Cat

  5. #5
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    I was taking @ 2-3mg of sub a day (1/4 of an 8mg strip) usually during the week with binges on roxis @ 4-5x/month. Thank you for your support. It's just so hard being a mom while going through this (my boys are almost 3 and 1).

  6. #6
    Go-2 is offline New Member
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    Hi Struggling. Been there! You've had some good feedback. Opiate withdrawal is very, very unpleasant. Common detox for opiates are: Sleeplessness, fatigue, restless leg, cramping, diarrhea, headache, runny nose, sneezing, feelings of chest palpitations etc... A big "Good for you too in this change" If the upcoming 24 hrs. Get rough break your time down to committing to the next 10 minutes. Word of caution, do not stop benzodiazepines (Xanax) abruptly. Seizures can & do happen with that drug withdrawal. Great to get positive (no finger wagging, pointing or shaming) support. Chances are you can do that all by yourself. God bless & I wish you well

  7. #7
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    OK. Here's what I would do. Stay away from the roxis. If you are taking sub you can keep yourself out of withdrawals so you don't need them. 2-3mg of sub per day should be plenty to keep you stable once you get there. Less is more with sub so it would be a mistake to begin to take more of it. Try to be as accurate as you can in cutting the strips so that you are taking the same amount each day. I have never used subs but there are some experts here that will likely pop in to help you--Bette or Randy are the best so watch for them. Once you are stable (usually around 4 days) and feel good, the taper plan used successfully here is to cut your dose by 25% and then stay at that dose for around another 4 days. Keep cutting in that same manner and don't mess with your dose. Be consistent and don't rush things.

    I suspect you are having a hard time because you take the sub during the week and just as you begin to stabilize, you indulge on roxis on the weekend and you go right back to the beginning again on Monday. I suspect resisting those roxis on the weekend may be the hardest part for you because by now you are used to it and have created a habit both physically and mentally. If you really want to get past this, you can and it shouldn't take that long. Does your husband plan on trying to quit too? I hope so. You can be each others support and it's really hard to stay to plan, especially early on, if there's someone in the house still using.

    Check in often and read as many threads as you can. It will help you and give you a sense of community and support. Watch for Bette and Randy. Sorry Bette and Randy. I so shouldn't be giving this advice. I just feel bad when things get slow around here on the weekend. I know you'll stop in soon.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-08-2015 at 09:59 PM.
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  8. #8
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    Thank you so much for all of your replies....it means so much to have someone to talk to. I'm trying to just go cold turkey and not taper on the subs as the last time I took @ 2 mg was on Thursday morning.....I feel like I would just be going backwards to take anymore. My husband took his last sub last night and has promised he is done as well. In the past, I have had to keep the debit card and access to funds away from him and that's what I plan to do until he is tempted anymore (he is always the one who got our stuff). So Im day 4 without SUbs and I've read that days 4 and 5 can be the worst.....I just can't wait to feel better and move on with my life!! It's just so hard feeling like this while taking care of my boys.

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    Pixiepoxie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strugglingmom View Post
    Thank you so much for all of your replies....it means so much to have someone to talk to. I'm trying to just go cold turkey and not taper on the subs as the last time I took @ 2 mg was on Thursday morning.....I feel like I would just be going backwards to take anymore. My husband took his last sub last night and has promised he is done as well. In the past, I have had to keep the debit card and access to funds away from him and that's what I plan to do until he is tempted anymore (he is always the one who got our stuff). So Im day 4 without SUbs and I've read that days 4 and 5 can be the worst.....I just can't wait to feel better and move on with my life!! It's just so hard feeling like this while taking care of my boys.
    Struggling,

    Hi there...wanted to send you a belated welcome to the forum...
    You have come to a really great place for support and encouragement...
    Lots of great help and knowledge on here
    Just so I understand correctly where you are at....you are trying to Cold Turkey from 2-3mg/day of Suboxone?
    I know you mixed Roxi in on weekends is this correct?
    I'm very concerned if you are trying to jump/stop Subs at 2mg dose?
    That is really high dose to jump from
    Subs are VERY strong and those who have come off of it successfully have tapered..
    To a very tiny dose... around .25mg or even as low as .125mg because they are so powerful...

    Post often...it really does help...
    It sounds like your husband is ready to battle this beast too? That is great news!

    Let us know how you are doing....
    Cheering you on...

    Forward and Onward Troops!
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  10. #10
    Imjustnotsure is offline Member
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    Struggling,
    Just wanted to drop in and say hi!
    I wrote a reply Late last night to you but wth it didn't post!! Ugh idk what happened !
    Well I just wanted to say welcome and you have come to a wonderful place ! You will find so much support here! And great advice ! I'm fairly new here too! I started posting about a month ago about how mine and my wife's addiction to roxis was destroying everything in our lives. And from there speaking with so many wonderful ppl felt confident that I would do just fine getting off. I went to the sub dr, went thru the induction and am 10 days today with out a roxi and day 8 on 3.5 mg of suboxone and I'm feeling great! Better than I ever expected to feel with out my pills!
    It seems like you and I have a similar story. Married (basically for me almost 8 yrs together) and have 2 boys and have an addiction to opiates that at this point are just managing to not be sick. Broke and miserable and still feeling tired and sick. I feel for you! I'm by no means am "cured" or anything but I know that if my wife and I can do it so can you and your husband! We've had to change a lot so far ! Our friends and our daily routine has changed so much in just over a week ! I hope that you make the decision to take your life back! Your boys need you!! And you will be okay. I had to rearrange some things so I didn't miss work but I inducted over the weekend and felt so much h better by Monday! If your interested take a look at my thread and you will see how it went for us! I def think from reading you took the subs too soon and are experiencing symptoms bc of that. Please think about this... You can do this!!! Cat is amazing ! And she knows her stuff! She's been where you are and has a way with her words to make you feel as tho you can conquer any thing you put your mind too! I will keep checking on you and I am am rooting for you and your husband !!! Take your life back! So many things will get better so quickly ! Will check back soon!
    Megan
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  11. #11
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    Ahhh I can't even tell you how nice it is to hear other people going through or having gone through similar situations. None of my friends or family know about any of this (it's so shameful) and my husband hasn't started wding yet so I think he just doesn't get it. Imodium is helping some and I manage to get a few good chunks of sleep in last night. I think choosing to do this right when I started the Wellbutrin was maybe not the best idea. I read some experiences that Wellbutrin has helped with wds but for me it's just really increasing my anxiety and insomnia. I really don't want to get back on the subs even to taper....I feel like I've already gone through a few days of hell....why not just ride it out? I actually feel like I really want to suffer so that I won't be tempted to go back to that lifestyle. If I know that I can taper with subs without much pain, it would be so easy to slip up. Right now I wish I would have tapered (and I'm happy it's working for you and your wife!) but this is just the position I am in right now. I truly hope my husband is really on board with this (he always finds some excuse to "party" - "it's Saturday we deserve it!".... I'm going to try to get him to text all his contacts that he is done, then delete and block their numbers. I'm sure they will still call on Wednesdays when they know it's his payday....it so f-ed up. Physically - I still have bathroom issues, sweating then freezing, no appetite, sneezing, watery eyes, restless legs. I'm going to try to take my boys on a bike ride this afternoon as I have heard exercise works wonders. Need to load up on the Imodium first though!!! It's such a struggle to do the smallest tasks.

  12. #12
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    First time leaving the house in a couple days - waiting for my son at preschool pickup. Really not looking forward to going in and seeing all my mom friends - guess I will say I have the flu....sweaty hands, racing heart.....at least I don't have to poop right now lol!

  13. #13
    Imjustnotsure is offline Member
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    I hear ya! You have to do what works for you! I really hope your husband gets on board it will be so tough for you to do this alone and watch him keep it up.. We did exactly what u said about texting then deleting the contacts. Like no hard feeling but I have to do this... After so long we drift from our real friends and make pill friends. It's a shame but the truth. If the Wellbutrin is working for u then you just have to make a plan and stick to it. When we realize we are addicts then we need to understand we can't just have a fun Saturday. Because that's never the end. We have learned from the past that it's never just one. I do really hope you and your husband make a plan and run with it. Once u get past these couple bad days it will feel like a life time ago that you were feeling this terrible. And in response to your idea on you being able to slip up again bc things were easy for u with the sub. You have to make the decision and that's it. For me now in the early stages of my recovery, in just one week- one paycheck I've come to realize how stupid I've been. This week I paid bills, went food shopping and even took my son for new sneakers. Just two weeks ago I was paid Friday and broke in the same day. Barely bought food for the house and then over drafted the bank by Mondayto buy again. It's a never ending cycle and it's terrible .. That's my biggest lesson so far. What I could have done with all that money in the last several years. I know you can do this ! Keep us posted with your plan and then write as often as u feel like . I tell u it really helps ... Megan

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    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    I feel like I could have written you last post Megan. Right now our credit cards are maxed out and our checking acct is overdrawn with nothing in savings. My husband makes more than enough for us to live comfortably but has been working crazy hours and every weekend to fuel this stupid habit. I have a feeling once all of our bills are paid he will want to go back to it. He has quit before so I know he can do it again....I just really need to ride him hard about it. He thinks I'm stupid for looking stuff up online and thinks that withdrawals are all in my head....he always says we weren't doing enough to do that. Really!? 120mg of oxy a day or 2-3mg of subs. I feel slightly better today so I'm really hoping it's all downhill from here. Again - I am so thankful to have your support. I keep checking for updates bc it seems like time is crawling by.....
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    wasabisabi is offline Member
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    Hi Struggling,

    Here's an update for you.... You are awesome! You are doing really well and you WILL get through this. Good on you for powering through.
    I've got to start work now but will check back later and give you a shout out. I know exactly what you mean about checking for updates! We all do. Keep yourself busy as much as possible - it helps to pass the time and get away from your thoughts.

    Take care
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  16. #16
    Imjustnotsure is offline Member
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    Struggling,
    Sorry to say your husband is in denial. If you both can go from doing blues for the weekend or 2-3 days straight then have to take the subs. Then your bodies are addicted to them. That's only the physical part. Mentally def addicted. They play mind games with u! Believe me I know ... The wd are not in your head. If u feel like >>>> u feel like >>>>. All the symptoms you are explaining are classic wd. Maybe he has a higher tolerance than you idk. But ask him if he can go 2-3 with the oxys then not take the subs.. See how he feels ya know. It's a shame he doesn't feel the same way it's going to be so hard for u without him on board. But you have to stand your ground ! And you can do it! I'm not that knowledgable about Wellbutrin but if it works the same As the subs try it .. See how u feel with out the blues. How about your friends ? Do u have anyone u can talk to about this? Help be your strength? I feel for u I do! It's a never ending cycle. It's not going to end. These pills ruin everything. Your family, relationships, wealth, and most importantly yourself. You have to be healthy for those boys! It's no easy task but you will feel better than you think. You'll be able to think straight and see what could be. I wish you all the best and am rooting for u! I really am! Keep checking in. I hope ur starting to feel better ! One day at a time ! You are doing great so far ! The mind set you have right now is what you need !
    Megan
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  17. #17
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    I know he is in denial....he took the last of the sub we had last night so I know in 2/3 days he's gonna feel like $hit. I definitely think he does have a higher tolerance than me though from years of abuse (totally hidden from me when we were dating and first married). I'm 5'8" and only 118 and he is 6'2" 220lbs. I just really hope my appetite comes back soon bc I can't afford to lose any more weight and I know not eating is making me feel worse. I'm actually very jealous of you that you are still on subs! They do work wonders but can be abused just like the Blues. It sounds like you and your wife are so commited and in this together - I wish I had that support. I really don't have anyone to talk to about it but my husband
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  18. #18
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    Update - (not that anyone might care but it's kinda therapeutic for me to write this all out). I was super depressed as my husband was leaving for work (3pm) and then decided that I just needed to suck it up and get moving. Started straightening up the house (that looks like a disaster with me being out of commission for a few days)....got the boys to help me clean up their toys (which is counterproductive with a 1 year old following you around)...fed the boys, gave them a bubble bath.....it was the first time in awhile that I felt like I was genuinely enjoying my kids and not just smiling with numb emotion. Tomorrow I am going to try to start my day this way (we have preschool yoga at 9:15 so I don't have much of a choice) but I'm hoping getting out and moving without just laying @ moping and watching the minutes slowly tick by. Maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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  19. #19
    silverlining1 is offline Senior Member
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    Hey, Struggling.....

    We all care, cause we've all been there. I just read your thread and so much of what you are going through, I've been through.

    Just wanted to pop in and encourage you. Staying active is the key! IF you are going through sub w/d's then exercise will help. Please keep posting and updating us, as it does help to get your thoughts out into the open.

    I, also, live with an active addict...not easy....but, perhaps your hubby will see you overcoming and follow your lead.

    Most important to your health.....stay hydrated....and try to eat, even if its oatmeal or something. You can make the oatmeal real soupy, so it is easy to get down. You must keep up your health through this. Just little meals....whatever, try to find something to feed yourself.

    Okay, my 2 cents.
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  20. #20
    justmekw is offline Member
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    Strugglingmom, Im 7 weeks clean and live with an addict. He still uses right in front of me. It doesn't bother me because I know I'm done with that kind of life. I did it for myself and my kids. Stay strong and know you can do this.

  21. #21
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    Thank you! It's nice to know I'm not alone. I managed to eat half a sandwich after the kids went to bed and a few pieces of candy - and trying to drink lots of water. I don't know if it's the w/ds or the Wellbutrin but I haven't smoked a cigarette in a few days, have no desire for caffeine or alcohol (I like to have a glass of wine or a beer at night)....hopefully this is the start of a whole new lifestyle! Any tips on encouraging my husband as well?? I don't want to feel like a nag. The last time he was using heavily (before I ever started) I had to threaten to leave him and take my son away. My husbands father was a H addict and smoked weed with my husband when he was only 12. He ended up dying of aids. I know my husband wants to be the exact opposite of what his dad was so I need to keep reminding him of that.

  22. #22
    Imjustnotsure is offline Member
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    How ya feeling this morning ? Any better ? Were you able to talk with your husband ? Thinking of you today!
    Megan

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    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strugglingmom View Post
    Thank you! It's nice to know I'm not alone. I managed to eat half a sandwich after the kids went to bed and a few pieces of candy - and trying to drink lots of water. I don't know if it's the w/ds or the Wellbutrin but I haven't smoked a cigarette in a few days, have no desire for caffeine or alcohol (I like to have a glass of wine or a beer at night)....hopefully this is the start of a whole new lifestyle! Any tips on encouraging my husband as well?? I don't want to feel like a nag. The last time he was using heavily (before I ever started) I had to threaten to leave him and take my son away. My husbands father was a H addict and smoked weed with my husband when he was only 12. He ended up dying of aids. I know my husband wants to be the exact opposite of what his dad was so I need to keep reminding him of that.
    hey strugglingmom. I was in your shoes 6 months ago. I quit a 50mg or so habit if hydro of 7 years. IT WAS HELL mentally for the first 3 weeks. I could take the physical pain of wd, but the mental side is what kills me everytime. I fell into a deep depression with zero energy for while. Questioned my life several times but what saved my sanity waa knowledge. From doing lots of reading on CT wd, just told myself its temporary. In which it was. I started feeling normal again after 60 days.After 4 months, pills were a long faded memory really. 6 months later I dont crave at all and feel my old self. So yeah.... its possible to kick it. I'm still holding on. .... its been 6 months and 10 days. I did it cold turkey with no AA. What made me quit was my doc said no more and really burnt out of counting pills and monthly dr visits eating all my money. So go forward. .. the key to success here is time imo.

  24. #24
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Also.... on your hubby. Only he can decide to quit .

  25. #25
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    I'm actually feeling much better physically today - just bad insomnia, lack of appetite and a few chills but the upset stomach has subsided. I think a lot of what I'm feeling may be attributed to just starting the Wellbutrin as well. I did talk with my husband and he seems pretty committed - he had his last sub yesterday morning so we will see (and payday is tomorrow). I think he struggles with the addiction much more than me....once I'm feeling better I am fine not getting pills but he seems to always find an excuse to "party" and our use has just gotten completely out of hand. Neither of us has a rx so we have wasted soooooo much money on this stuff.

    Took the boys to yoga at the library this morning at the library and stayed for an hour hanging out with a few mom friends....no way I would have thought this was possible just two days ago. Depression and anxiety are still hanging on but I'm trying to push the thoughts away and keep myself really busy.

    Again - just want to thank you all again for all of the support through this journey! Crazy frog / it took two months to feel like yourself again!? How did you do it!?
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  26. #26
    Imjustnotsure is offline Member
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    Hey how ya feeling today?? And your husband ?
    Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you ! And rooting for u guys!
    Megan

  27. #27
    Strugglingmom is offline New Member
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    Thank you! Feeling a little better each day but still having some tummy issues and horrible insomnia. I think those may be from starting the Wellbutrin. It was payday so a big test for us. Dh texted all our old contacts that we are done and please leave him alone. He put his phone on silent so he wouldn't even hear them calling. By 3pm, he had about 10 missed calls from people trying to go get pills/sell them (one of them being his dad's ex wife). He seems commited this time - he has been sub free since Sunday and I have been since Friday (obviously no pills then either). He is already planning activities for us to do as a family this weekend and talking about paying off debt so we can put $ away for a pool membership in the summer. I really believe he is ready with me this time. He started taking Wellbutrin today too (to help quit smoking) and has cut back on his drinking dramatically as well. Thanks for checking in!! How are things going for you and your wife Megan?

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    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    [deleted - breaching forum rules]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-11-2015 at 11:08 PM.
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    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    [deleted - breaching forum rules]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-11-2015 at 11:08 PM.

  30. #30
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Well, looks like I did something wrong? I'm gonna have to find out why my last two posts were deleted? I'll get back to you soon, I'm gonna read through the rules on posting again?

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