Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 31 to 60 of 60
Like Tree37Likes
Withdrawing from hydrocodone/trying to quit and scared
  1. #31
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    3,016

    Default

    Ashley: You need to get some exercise. That is key. You want to feel better, just take a 20min. walk. You need to get your natural endorphins producing again, these also are key to your creativity. The sooner you exercise and the more you can do, the better you will feel. I promise that. What bothers me is that you haven't cut your ties. Do you WANT this? You have to WANT IT. You want your creativity back? CUT YOUR TIES TO PILLS. Delete dealers numbers, call your friends and tell them "no thanks", if you have a script: tell your doctor. Keeping any avenue open is asking for trouble. I can promise you that you will end up thinking you can take just one or you can "control" this: you CAN'T. You talk about making goals and plans, but I see nothing that tells us what you are going to differently. I can promise if you don't stop, your life will not get better, it will get worse. It is the scariest thing in the world to do this: "Getting clean is easy, staying clean is HARD." What about NA? Counseling?

    I know I'm coming on really harsh, but this is a harsh reality to face: looking at the addict in the mirror. What are you going to do so you DON'T, CAN'T use?

    I wish you all the luck in the world, but in less you put into place a plan for NOT using, you are simply going to white-knuckle this thing and that leads nowhere.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  2. #32
    timetogocold is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    43

    Default

    Ashley, I hope the day got better for you. I am just starting on my day 6 and it seems to get better and then goes back to wanting the easy way out. I honestly cannot believe how bad I still have RLS. I have yet to fell like my legs are under me. It's funny how quickly we can forget the pain of day 3 and 4 but have no problem how nice it was to pop a pill or three a year ago at a event. I have spent a lot of time on here the last week and there seems to be a common theme(other than knowing our habits lol), you can't just have one. One today leads to two next week. Then you are back to the beginning. I hope you hang in there and have the courage to propel you to the next day, even on day 364!! I have came to the conclusion that most everyone on here is lending a hand in strength. I think we are both thankful that we have found a place that we can lean on. I know it sure has helped me!

    B

  3. #33
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    1,106

    Default

    Ashley I just wanted to pop in on you and check in. I know that tomorrow will be a big hurdle for you and that you had already called the dealer and told him you don't want it. Again congrats there! Letting you know I am here for support. Hopefully you have plans tomorrow and will be keeping busy. We all will be here if you need us. You can do this!

  4. #34
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    2,731

    Default

    How are You Ashley? Hoping to hear from YOU Soon!! Lots of US rooting for YOU...Including ME!! When You get a chance....Please Post an Update....How Your feeling....Glad...mad....sad....etc!! Thanks...Stay Strong Ashley!!..xo

  5. #35
    ashleywestlock is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Thanks so much for checking in, you guys! I'm doing pretty good! Day 9 here!

    So, Wednesday night, we went for a family swim and then I spent a good 20 minutes in the hot tub and it was glorious. I think my body was thanking me for it all. :-) I seriously can't wait to go back to the pool/hot tub. Thinking I might sign up for a water aerobics class and get in some low-impact exercise, and I've always loved to swim, so that will help me stick to it!

    Thursday was even better because I received a business phone call I had been secretly waiting on for three years. It was an offer on a project I had started to give up hope on, but then, out of the blue! An offer! It felt like a sign from above, to keep pushing, to remind myself that there are good things in life without pills.

    Kept myself busy Friday, since that was the day one of my sources was getting pills. And although I had already told him I didn't want anymore, I was still worried about the anxiety creeping in. Well, it didn't! And my source stuck to his word --- he didn't mention the pills at all. I ended up spending the day with my parents and then went off to the movies by myself (Kingsman Secret Service was really good, FYI!). After the movie, I hung out at husband's work until he got out and worked on my own stuff in the breakroom, which I haven't done in a long time. I felt that little bit of a creative spark that's been missing from my life for a long time.

    So, day 9 now and I have to admit, the energy is still fleeting. Some hours I feel really great, but others I'm exhausted. And probably the worst part at this point is the sleeping and then waking up in the morning without having a few pills to get me going. Taking pills in the morning was my FAVORITE thing to do. But, all in all, I think I'm starting to feel a lot better physically, and I keep reminding myself, it's only a matter of time now! Eventually I'll start to feel more like myself! Eventually I'll have energy to do XYZ.

    The weather is >>>>>> here today, so I think I'm going to hole up and catch up on some TV. :-)

    I hope you are all well and thanks again for all your support! I feel like I never would have gotten this far without you.
    davepeerson likes this.

  6. #36
    ashleywestlock is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by iloerose View Post
    What bothers me is that you haven't cut your ties. Do you WANT this? You have to WANT IT. You want your creativity back? CUT YOUR TIES TO PILLS.
    Thanks for the post iloerose! If you'll look back a few posts, you'll see I did text my source and tell him I didn't want the pills anymore. I didn't even want to know he had them. And I'm confidant he'll stick to that. He almost seemed relieved, if I'm being totally honest. Another of my sources got cut off in December and he told me he isn't going to try to get more because he's happy to be off them, but I did make a point to tell him that if he ever had them again, I didn't want to know. Unfortunately, I can't cut these people out of my life entirely because one is a relative and the other is my best friend. I need these people in my life right now and it wouldn't be fair to cut them out of my life because of MY issues. Regardless, I know they'll stick to my wishes!

    And exercise! Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm going to try to get more of that in! I went for a swim last week and it felt good.

    Thanks again!
    davepeerson likes this.

  7. #37
    ashleywestlock is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by timetogocold View Post
    Ashley, I hope the day got better for you. I am just starting on my day 6 and it seems to get better and then goes back to wanting the easy way out. I honestly cannot believe how bad I still have RLS. I have yet to fell like my legs are under me. It's funny how quickly we can forget the pain of day 3 and 4 but have no problem how nice it was to pop a pill or three a year ago at a event. I have spent a lot of time on here the last week and there seems to be a common theme(other than knowing our habits lol), you can't just have one. One today leads to two next week. Then you are back to the beginning. I hope you hang in there and have the courage to propel you to the next day, even on day 364!! I have came to the conclusion that most everyone on here is lending a hand in strength. I think we are both thankful that we have found a place that we can lean on. I know it sure has helped me!

    B
    Hey timetogocold! I hope you're feeling better, too! I feel fortunate to have never experienced RLS. My worst WD symptoms have always been the sweating and low energy. And you're right, you can't ever just have one pill and stop. I always try to tell myself, this time I'll control it. This time I'll only have X number of pills per day. Never happened.

  8. #38
    ashleywestlock is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Ashley I just wanted to pop in on you and check in. I know that tomorrow will be a big hurdle for you and that you had already called the dealer and told him you don't want it. Again congrats there! Letting you know I am here for support. Hopefully you have plans tomorrow and will be keeping busy. We all will be here if you need us. You can do this!
    Sunshine! Where would I be without you? :-) I did keep myself busy yesterday! Good busy. And I realized that when I was on pills, all I wanted to do was hang around the house and get high. Or if I did get out and do something, the only thought on my mind was, I need to get home soon to take more pills. Getting out and just doing something for me, was good.

    Thanks again for the check-in post. You guys are my rock.
    davepeerson and Sunshine1112 like this.

  9. #39
    ashleywestlock is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by davepeerson View Post
    How are You Ashley? Hoping to hear from YOU Soon!! Lots of US rooting for YOU...Including ME!! When You get a chance....Please Post an Update....How Your feeling....Glad...mad....sad....etc!! Thanks...Stay Strong Ashley!!..xo
    DAVE! Thanks for popping in! I'm glad today. Let me tell you. Glad to never have to worry about the fear and anxiety that came with getting more pills, or running out of pills, or where would I get the money for more pills. All of that stuff compounded the habit, in the long run, and made me more depressed, which made me want more pills. Now I'm almost relieved to be free. I know the road ahead is still long, but as Winston Churchill said, "If you're going through hell, keep going." So here I go.
    davepeerson and Catrina like this.

  10. #40
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    2,731

    Default

    Thanks for the update Ashley!! Glad Your doing well!! Hope You enjoy just kicking back and watching some TV today!! Hopefully the weather gets a little better for you soon....so You can get out!! Stay Strong Ashley!!.xo

  11. #41
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,146

    Default

    Well said Ashley and Congratulations.

    Peace,

    Cat
    davepeerson likes this.

  12. #42
    timetogocold is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    43

    Default

    I'm glad you are doing better and being so active. You can even sense a little pep in your step! I started taking L-Tyro and Ginko. What a great impact it has made on my mind. I hope you enjoy the night! Here's to another day down!!
    davepeerson and Iluv2smile like this.

  13. #43
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    1,106

    Default

    Ashley I am so glad you posted I was missing you. I knew you would plow through Friday. I am so glad you had previously called them and got that out of the way and even better they will respect yor wishes. I know you have the 19th coming up but that source is from the dr and he was already cutting you anyway. But wnow you can plow thru that day as well. So congrats!!! You are keeping yourself busy and that is a very good thing!! I can tell you I am still lost without that morning pill...I drink my coffee and feel like I am missing something. I try to replace it with vitamins.....lol....I think my brain is a liitle to smart for me to really try and fool it however I say this vitamin is so much better. Mmmmmmm any minute now I am feeling good from that vitamin. Given enough time my brain won't know the difference and that vitamin will be a good habit!!! To be honest my fav was taking and cleaning my house. So now I am just learning to live with a dirty house. The kids get yelled at allot more to help.

    So glad to see your post!!!
    davepeerson likes this.

  14. #44
    Iwant2help is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    26

    Default

    It does get better but you need to get out of the house and walk.I know it's the last thing you want to do but it's a must.I was on a 10/325 Norco a month for over 5 years.The last six months I was on them I would burn through the script in 10 days and then I would end up buying roughly 250 more in order to work and get through the month.Ive been off for eight months and was running two miles a day after the first thirty days.It sucked,it was hard but a must.You have to decide who is going to be in control of your life.
    I see you're looking forward to your contact getting a refill so you're not quite ready but when you decide it's time I will help all I can

  15. #45
    Iwant2help is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    26

    Default

    Ashley I owe an apology.My last post came from reading your title without reading all of the following post.
    You obviously have the strength and determination and doing really well in your fight.Through your words I see an ambicious person as well which really helps.I have confidence you will still be here in 6 months,a year2 years mentoring others by your success.
    Your doing great

  16. #46
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    83

    Default

    Hey Ashley, hope you're doing well. Funny what you wrote about instagram, I was scrolling through mine the other day thinking how much I wanted to be clean and healthy like all the smiling people I love. I'm on day 3, though for the past 10 days I've been on / off (had 3 days last week, then messed up). Anyways, good luck and thanks for posting.

  17. #47
    Iwant2help is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    26

    Default

    Finallydoingthis
    Don't get discouraged if you slip.It may be just enough to help you get a few more days.If you do find yourself there again cut the your last slip in half or smaller and get back on that horse

  18. #48
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    83

    Default

    Thanks iwant2help! I've been feeling lousy about it but I know it's just the addict and that I can't "do just one". I'm desperate to be done with this horrible horrible addiction, so I did something I never did before this afternoon and wrote a goodbye letter to opiates. Put a lot of things into perspective actually. I'm out of town and am guaranteed to make day 7 so I'm just workin on stuff to make sure I stay good when I get back. Dealers called me 3 times already but I won't call him back when I get back to town. I'll just read the letter I wrote and come here to hear you guys' inspirational stories. much love, god bless

  19. #49
    ashleywestlock is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by finallydoingthis View Post
    Thanks iwant2help! I've been feeling lousy about it but I know it's just the addict and that I can't "do just one". I'm desperate to be done with this horrible horrible addiction, so I did something I never did before this afternoon and wrote a goodbye letter to opiates. Put a lot of things into perspective actually. I'm out of town and am guaranteed to make day 7 so I'm just workin on stuff to make sure I stay good when I get back. Dealers called me 3 times already but I won't call him back when I get back to town. I'll just read the letter I wrote and come here to hear you guys' inspirational stories. much love, god bless
    Hey finallydoingthis, don't beat yourself up too much. It's the monster in our head that tells us one pill will make everything better. The sheer strength of will it takes to get over an addiction is something not everyone has, but I have faith you DO because you're here and you're still trying!

    I also wanted to say, I totally, TOTALLY understand where you are and what you're feeling. Yesterday was my Day 12 and I had cravings so strong that if I'd had access to pills, I would have given in in a heartbeat. Pills was the first thing I thought of when I woke and I thought about them for hours after. I kept telling myself that one pill would not solve everything, that one pill would lead to two and two to five and so on. It would never be enough. I'm so glad I didn't have access to pills yesterday, because today is a new day and I'm SO GRATEFUL I'm still clean.

    Good luck and check back in soon! Did you start your own thread/post yet? Just logged in and haven't caught up with new posts yet, but I'm gonna go read soon!

  20. #50
    ashleywestlock is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by finallydoingthis View Post
    Hey Ashley, hope you're doing well. Funny what you wrote about instagram, I was scrolling through mine the other day thinking how much I wanted to be clean and healthy like all the smiling people I love. I'm on day 3, though for the past 10 days I've been on / off (had 3 days last week, then messed up). Anyways, good luck and thanks for posting.
    Oh, and wanted to add --- Instagram has been my life saver these last few weeks! Here are a few of my favs in case you need some fresh images in your >>>>>> :

    @kristinrogers
    @inthefunlane
    @bythebrush
    @joyprouty
    @abeautifulmessofficial

  21. #51
    ashleywestlock is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Day 13 here! Tomorrow will be 2 weeks! I'm still up and down. Yesterday I had cravings so strong that if I'd had access to pills, I would have given in. I had a dream about pills and it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up. Couple that with still having little energy and I was just like, "One pill will just make the day so much better." But then I thought, "Well maybe five pills, because then I'll have enough for the next day." I just tried to take a deep breath and remind myself that it wouldn't stop there. I can't control this. And once those pills were gone, I'd be depressed I didn't have more. So then I'd get more and the cycle would start all over again.

    Feeling much better today and so grateful that I'm still clean. I know I would have been 10000% disappointed in myself if I'd given in. All that work over the last two weeks would have been for nothing! I can't do that again. Trying so hard to look forward instead of back.

    Thanks again you guys for all your support.
    Sunshine1112 and davepeerson like this.

  22. #52
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    1,106

    Default

    Good. for you Ashley staying strong. Will have some good days and bad days and just like your doing just have to tell your self that it won't end with just one. It will just set things off and who really wants to start again. Glad you are staying strong!!
    davepeerson likes this.

  23. #53
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    83

    Default

    Way to be ashley, and thank you so much for your kind words of support. I'm sorry to hear you had a rough day -- I read Efil Pleh's thread (he's over 100 days) and it does sound like the cravings will get better with time, but there will be ups and downs. I'm glad to hear you're almost to 2 weeks, that's an awesome achievement.
    davepeerson likes this.

  24. #54
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    2,731

    Default

    Hey Ashley....Congrats On what will be 2 Full Weeks when you wake up!! I hope and pray You were able to get some decent sleep, with NO using dreams.....hate those!!..You are doing an awesome Job Ashley...Keep fighting the fight....and Beat Down those Cravings!! I know all to well about those....They will subside....Just Keep Posting ....Please!! It Really helps....YOU...and US!! This is a WE journey....We ALL need each other....Like One Big Family!! And You are a Big Part Of US Now!! Stay Strong Ashley!!..It does not matter how slowly You go...as long as You don't stop!..In order to succeed, we Must first believe that We can!!..xoxo
    Sunshine1112 likes this.

  25. #55
    Iwant2help is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    26

    Default

    Great words Dave.Ashley there's really nothing I can add to what Dave posted.He covered it pretty well.Ill just saw you will all be in my thoughts throughout the day and I'm proud of the hard work each of you are doing.Its hard but you're doing it.

  26. #56
    sohighSOLOW is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    4

    Default

    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-19-2015 at 11:31 PM.

  27. #57
    timetogocold is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    43

    Default

    Congrats on passing two weeks. How are you doing? I hope you check in with us soon!

  28. #58
    Brousey is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2

    Default

    Hey Ash!!! Hope alls well, I kicked a 6 yr Heavy opiate addiction cold turkey, for me once i got past day 3 clean it got easier, but after a month a major depression came into play which caused relapse, I didnt read all posts so im not sure whats been covered but because there was no taper my brain wasnt able to function properly, not enough seritonin, dopamine, endorphins released.... which brought the depression and brought it hard, I recommend seeing a dr. Or psychiatrist and talk about anti - depressants, preferably an SSRI, im on 150mg of zoloft and 100mg seroquel at night for sleep, I also suggest coming out about this to your husband, friends etc. Theres nothing to be ashamed of, we're mentally sick people without a way to cope or deal with life so we self medicate, remember addiction is a disease, there is no cure, recovery is a life long commitment but i assure you its worth it, in the past 10 years of my mining career ive made over a million dollars with nothing to show, fortunately i was able to keep my house and my family, do I regret it? No!!! This is probably the best gift ive been given in life because now I can see what life is truly about without being a slave to a pill, Im fortunate to be an addict in recovery because ive learned through the 12 steps how to clean out my closet, put a smile on my face, enjoy life again without alcohol or drugs, its great to have a natural high, just remember what goes up must come down, im not going to lie not everyday is a good day sure I can get my pills and everything will go away and ill be happy ..... as long as i keep spending $500 a day again... but thats not reality, were emotional beings we need to feel, learn and most importantly live, I just remind myself that next pill i take is basically my suicide pill, this is my final recovery because i dont have one more left in me, now by no means am i a doctor, im just sharing my experience and giving advice its up to you how you make your next move, i live day for day, as long as i get through one day, i can do another, youve got a couple weeks, do a couple more, but please let more people in on your secret its impossible to do alone, youll feel so relieved to share with your husband about your secret other life, be free of all the lies and manipulations, remove the guilt and shame, stay strong and stay clean, everyone has a bottom to hit and thats death, do whats right dont be another statistic in this polluted world of opiates, you dont need the liquid handcuffs of methadone and you dont need suboxone, the worst is over but PAWS can happen and that depression is awful just be aware, I also cancelled my cell phone, removed myself from social media, youll find your real true friends in recovery and you have an arsenal of people willing to help on here who dont even know you
    Addicts are the greatest people on earth, were just misjudged and stereotyped as junkies pill heads etc. Well guess what im glad i was that loser junkie because im now a better human because of it! If you have any questions please ask away I wish you all the best and i wont say good luck because luck is what you make, take care
    Jerry

  29. #59
    bobrien0589 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    1

    Default

    Hey everyone, so in a half hour it will be my second day without any vicodin, norco, or oxy. I feel like absolute death. I can't even remember why I even started taking something so highly addictive let alone something that changes your chemical balances. Im scared. Before I started taking them I was ALWAYS that outgoing, fun, caring, DRIVEN, and honest. I have prob lost almost all of these attributes from something so pointless. I guess I just want to know if the first two days,or I should say the 2nd because today has been a licing hell. Wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy. Anything that will lessen the vomiting, and nasusea?

  30. #60
    Brousey is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2

    Default

    Itll get easier after day 3-4, clonadine helps for restlessness and sleep, if you can get seroquel that helped me huge with sleep, not much you can do but tough it out, opiates are harsh because the body comes so dependant on them but those who are addicts is a more mental psychological problem, its a price we pay in getting clean from opiates and trust me its worth it once you get through

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Similar Threads

  1. Quit after 10 years of prescribed hydrocodone
    By Catyjo in forum Need to Talk?
    Replies: 58
    Last Post: 05-02-2018, 02:32 PM
  2. Replies: 26
    Last Post: 03-13-2015, 03:14 PM
  3. Please Help -- Scared & Alone trying to quit Oxy30. Melindau? Anyone?
    By NeedHelpInNY in forum Prescription Drug Addiction
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 09-27-2014, 07:49 PM
  4. Replies: 140
    Last Post: 06-04-2013, 08:32 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22