Results 1 to 24 of 24
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By Ricky71
Young & long oxycodone addiction
  1. #1
    Caterpillar Tech is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    8

    Default Young & long oxycodone addiction

    Hey guys, I’ve been reading these forums and everyone’s experiences for the past 4 or so years. Just wanted to give back and maybe get some help as well?
    To start off I’m 23 years old. Started messing with oxycodone 30s since I was 18. Didn’t think anything of it, used them whenever I felt like it, never had a problem taking breaks for weeks at a time. Man I miss that.
    Just like everyone else, it becomes a bottomless pit. Detoxed myself probably 6 times in the past 4 or so years, trying to get rid of my addiction. It’s always been a secret, no one close to me knows. The last year that went way overboard, taking around 10* 30mg Oxys a day just to be able to function. Not even to get high. Being a heavy equipment mechanic and having my life pretty well set up for my age, I can’t just put my life on hold.
    So here’s my last and current detox.
    August 28 was my first day of detox all over again. Took a week off work, even though I am much needed in my line of work (heavy equipment repair) But this time I want it bad. Tired of all the money I spent getting them from the streets, time wasted chasing them, not being fully involved with my family, or going on family trips because I know I won’t make it without the so called “medicine”. Which I realized is literally the devil’s pill.
    I bought a few strips of suboxone to help me get through. I cut a 8mg strip into about 8 or 9 tiny pieces and took one a day. Did that for about 11 days or so. Still had withdraws but it dampened them a little bit, which is what I wanted. Didn’t realize suboxone pretty much weakens but pushes back your withdrawls at that time. So thinking I was ‘clean’ around day 12-13. My mind started playing games saying I’m fine, and I caved in and over that weekend did about 3 30s split apart. Next day didn’t feel extreme wd but minor, so I took a tiny piece of a strip to get me through the day, and that was the last time I used suboxone (roughly day 14 on the journey). I know some of you may say, “you relapsed at day 13, starter over,” but I don’t want to look at it that way, makes me feel better that today Is Day 18 of my commitment to get my life together.

    Honestly, this is the longest And furthest I’ve made It without relying on suboxone the whole time. Working 50-60 hours a week physically, is really taking a toll on me. The withdraws are pretty much over other than light depression and anxiety through the day, and RLS at night still!. But most importantly, I have no energy. I’ve been taking supplements related to the Thomas receipt and vitamins. Eating lots of fruits and whatever I can stuff myself with that’s healthy. But I’m struggling to get through the day. I wish I could take more time off but unfortunately that’s not an option.
    Anyhow, it’s day 18 on my journey to recovery, I need this. I put so much time and effort into this, I don’t want it to all go to waste. As someone said before, one pill is too much and a thousand pills will never be enough. That stuck in my mind for some reason.

    Anyways, love reading everyone’s stories and they’ve been a big help. And to anyone on the same boat as me, you can get through this. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones.

    Just wanted to see how and when people start getting there natural energy back? Work is really taking a toll on me, I know that staying busy is key, but working full time is beating me up real bad. My mind keeps running around telling me just take one. But I’ve been strong. I actually keep one 30mg on me at all time, most will say that’s a horrible idea, but I don’t know.. it shows me that I do have the will power to get through it.

    Sorry for the long post, best community out there, love you guys

  2. #2
    Day2_Nightmare is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    1,030

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Caterpillar Tech View Post
    Hey guys, I’ve been reading these forums and everyone’s experiences for the past 4 or so years. Just wanted to give back and maybe get some help as well?
    To start off I’m 23 years old. Started messing with oxycodone 30s since I was 18. Didn’t think anything of it, used them whenever I felt like it, never had a problem taking breaks for weeks at a time. Man I miss that.
    Just like everyone else, it becomes a bottomless pit. Detoxed myself probably 6 times in the past 4 or so years, trying to get rid of my addiction. It’s always been a secret, no one close to me knows. The last year that went way overboard, taking around 10* 30mg Oxys a day just to be able to function. Not even to get high. Being a heavy equipment mechanic and having my life pretty well set up for my age, I can’t just put my life on hold.
    So here’s my last and current detox.
    August 28 was my first day of detox all over again. Took a week off work, even though I am much needed in my line of work (heavy equipment repair) But this time I want it bad. Tired of all the money I spent getting them from the streets, time wasted chasing them, not being fully involved with my family, or going on family trips because I know I won’t make it without the so called “medicine”. Which I realized is literally the devil’s pill.
    I bought a few strips of suboxone to help me get through. I cut a 8mg strip into about 8 or 9 tiny pieces and took one a day. Did that for about 11 days or so. Still had withdraws but it dampened them a little bit, which is what I wanted. Didn’t realize suboxone pretty much weakens but pushes back your withdrawls at that time. So thinking I was ‘clean’ around day 12-13. My mind started playing games saying I’m fine, and I caved in and over that weekend did about 3 30s split apart. Next day didn’t feel extreme wd but minor, so I took a tiny piece of a strip to get me through the day, and that was the last time I used suboxone (roughly day 14 on the journey). I know some of you may say, “you relapsed at day 13, starter over,” but I don’t want to look at it that way, makes me feel better that today Is Day 18 of my commitment to get my life together.

    Honestly, this is the longest And furthest I’ve made It without relying on suboxone the whole time. Working 50-60 hours a week physically, is really taking a toll on me. The withdraws are pretty much over other than light depression and anxiety through the day, and RLS at night still!. But most importantly, I have no energy. I’ve been taking supplements related to the Thomas receipt and vitamins. Eating lots of fruits and whatever I can stuff myself with that’s healthy. But I’m struggling to get through the day. I wish I could take more time off but unfortunately that’s not an option.
    Anyhow, it’s day 18 on my journey to recovery, I need this. I put so much time and effort into this, I don’t want it to all go to waste. As someone said before, one pill is too much and a thousand pills will never be enough. That stuck in my mind for some reason.

    Anyways, love reading everyone’s stories and they’ve been a big help. And to anyone on the same boat as me, you can get through this. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones.

    Just wanted to see how and when people start getting there natural energy back? Work is really taking a toll on me, I know that staying busy is key, but working full time is beating me up real bad. My mind keeps running around telling me just take one. But I’ve been strong. I actually keep one 30mg on me at all time, most will say that’s a horrible idea, but I don’t know.. it shows me that I do have the will power to get through it.

    Sorry for the long post, best community out there, love you guys
    Thanks for sharing your story with us. Talking about it helps... talking about it with those of us who lived it really helps... This place has been a godsend for me. The support that is given here is amazing. Good job for putting an end to the madness. All of us here have been in your shoes, or are currently in your shoes. I certainly understand your plight... For years I spent a lot of time and money trying to figure out where to find pills, and how could I possibly get enough to keep from running out. It's a story that most of us here are familiar with. The pills rob you of your life. They change us in ways that are hard to explain.

    The journey you have embarked upon is perhaps the best gift you could ever give yourself. Waking up each morning and never having to worry about pills is amazing. It takes time to retrain your brain. Putting the time in between your active addiction is key. Every clean day that passes is a victory. Every day that you don't go and pick up pills is a victory... in so many ways! I would strongly recommend getting rid of that pill you carry around... flush that sucker and remove the option from your life. I get it... you want to show yourself that you have the willpower... but really it is an insurance policy. Get rid of it. Get rid of those in your life who enable your active addiction. Try to remove the triggers from your life... anything that reminds you of using... gets rid of that.

    Stick around here I think you will find the support here amazing. It is a great place, to be honest about your addiction. Like you... I used for so many years in secret... the secret is like that little pill you carry around. It is insurance. I wish you well on your journey.
    D2

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    185

    Default

    Hello there Tech and welcome to the forum.

    Natural energy and good sleep are the last couple things to come back for most people but you should expect to start seeing an improvement with about 2 weeks of clean time. Then it gradually gets better for the next 2-4 weeks. It takes a time to repair the damage we’ve done to ourselves.

    Try to remind yourself how much you’ve improved. Your physical symptoms are almost gone and you can now feel comfortable in your own skin again.. the pitfall for many is the long game that withdrawals play. After a week or two you feel like you should be out of the woods and at your “normal.” But the mental part is still tearing at you, causing mood problems because the lack of sleep, cravings, and lethargy.. this is when you have to dig in the deepest!

    Keep taking those supplements and eating healthy. This will help you to recover the quickest, though it may not feel like it right now. If you get plenty of physical activity from your job, you dont need to worry as much about starting exercise/working out as most. But also know that working through withdrawals is tough because our bodies are BEAT especially in the late afternoon/evening.

    Keep updating and browsing these forums, it helps. I agree with Day2, get rid of any and all pills you have left. Delete numbers. Do the things you know you need to do to make this stick but are too scared to do because you dont want to lose your access. I was like you before i burned my own bridges.

  4. #4
    10years39days is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    NW Oregon
    Posts
    326

    Default

    Hey there Tech,

    You’re doing the right thing...just keep hanging in there. Don’t worry too much about the days. The milestone of a new day is important...but ultimately the only day that actually matter is “today”.

    Today you have a choice to be clean. You aren’t able to account for tomorrow...but once that alarm goes off in the morning you’ll need to renew your promise to be clean for another day.

    It sounds like you’re in the right headspace to be successful with this endeavor. Keep stepping in the right direction, and before you know it you’ll be in a place you’ve never thought was possible.

    I’m proud of you, and you should definitely be proud of yourself.

    -10yeara

  5. #5
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,706

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Caterpillar Tech View Post
    Hey guys, I’ve been reading these forums and everyone’s experiences for the past 4 or so years. Just wanted to give back and maybe get some help as well?
    To start off I’m 23 years old. Started messing with oxycodone 30s since I was 18. Didn’t think anything of it, used them whenever I felt like it, never had a problem taking breaks for weeks at a time. Man I miss that.
    Just like everyone else, it becomes a bottomless pit. Detoxed myself probably 6 times in the past 4 or so years, trying to get rid of my addiction. It’s always been a secret, no one close to me knows. The last year that went way overboard, taking around 10* 30mg Oxys a day just to be able to function. Not even to get high. Being a heavy equipment mechanic and having my life pretty well set up for my age, I can’t just put my life on hold.
    So here’s my last and current detox.
    August 28 was my first day of detox all over again. Took a week off work, even though I am much needed in my line of work (heavy equipment repair) But this time I want it bad. Tired of all the money I spent getting them from the streets, time wasted chasing them, not being fully involved with my family, or going on family trips because I know I won’t make it without the so called “medicine”. Which I realized is literally the devil’s pill.
    I bought a few strips of suboxone to help me get through. I cut a 8mg strip into about 8 or 9 tiny pieces and took one a day. Did that for about 11 days or so. Still had withdraws but it dampened them a little bit, which is what I wanted. Didn’t realize suboxone pretty much weakens but pushes back your withdrawls at that time. So thinking I was ‘clean’ around day 12-13. My mind started playing games saying I’m fine, and I caved in and over that weekend did about 3 30s split apart. Next day didn’t feel extreme wd but minor, so I took a tiny piece of a strip to get me through the day, and that was the last time I used suboxone (roughly day 14 on the journey). I know some of you may say, “you relapsed at day 13, starter over,” but I don’t want to look at it that way, makes me feel better that today Is Day 18 of my commitment to get my life together.

    Honestly, this is the longest And furthest I’ve made It without relying on suboxone the whole time. Working 50-60 hours a week physically, is really taking a toll on me. The withdraws are pretty much over other than light depression and anxiety through the day, and RLS at night still!. But most importantly, I have no energy. I’ve been taking supplements related to the Thomas receipt and vitamins. Eating lots of fruits and whatever I can stuff myself with that’s healthy. But I’m struggling to get through the day. I wish I could take more time off but unfortunately that’s not an option.
    Anyhow, it’s day 18 on my journey to recovery, I need this. I put so much time and effort into this, I don’t want it to all go to waste. As someone said before, one pill is too much and a thousand pills will never be enough. That stuck in my mind for some reason.

    Anyways, love reading everyone’s stories and they’ve been a big help. And to anyone on the same boat as me, you can get through this. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones.

    Just wanted to see how and when people start getting there natural energy back? Work is really taking a toll on me, I know that staying busy is key, but working full time is beating me up real bad. My mind keeps running around telling me just take one. But I’ve been strong. I actually keep one 30mg on me at all time, most will say that’s a horrible idea, but I don’t know.. it shows me that I do have the will power to get through it.

    Sorry for the long post, best community out there, love you guys

    Welcome to the forum. You mentioned that you started this last detox on August 28th but it's only August 16th so I'm assuming that you meant July 28th? Technically your first day clean is the day after your last dose, in your case, the day after that last little bit of suboxone (which by the way is a very strong partial agonist opiate) would be your day one. So if you want to call it day three clean or day 18 of your journey it's entirely up to you of course? Either way, you are clean now and that is the most important thing at the moment! For long-term sobriety it is best to get and stay involved in a twelve step program (NA/AA) and/or drug addiction counseling?

    As far as that one blue that you are carrying around, that is a relapse just waiting to happen! Remember - "One pill is too many and a thousand pills will never be enough"! If you are committed to staying clean then flush that pill ASAP!

    You've already received some great advice. There is no set time as to when all of your symptoms will go away? The acute symptoms last about a week or so, plan on a few months before you are really feeling good? It's important to eat a healthy diet, avoid processed foods, avoid refined sugar and drink lots of water! Ultimately time will be the greatest healer! You're very young, kick this habit now while you still can! Don't ever let your guard down! There may be a time that you will tell yourself that you can take one pill here and there and be fine, I promise you that will never work! You'll be in full blown relapse before you know it!

    I've seen that you have checked in several times since you made this thread but you haven't left a reply to any of the posts that you have received? Please update soon and let us know how you are doing? We are here to help and support you in any way we can? Take care... God bless us all!

    PS
    Flush that pill!
    WifeMotherSister likes this.

  6. #6
    Caterpillar Tech is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Hey guys! Thanks for all the responses, means a lot. You guys are very knowledgeable and give me hope. And I am sorry I meant to say I started my journey on July 28th. Today is day 4 since I quit taking the suboxone. It’s crazy how strong that stuff is, I felt great taking 1mg a day, but I know it’s just replacing a habit.
    Anyways, today is “day19” since I devoted myself to quit the evil pills. Today is the 4th day with no suboxone ( I was only taking maybe 1mg a day, (sometimes every other day)
    Work is rough with minimal energy, but I’m pushing through. Thank god it’s Friday. Actually felt good a few times throughout the day which Felt amazing, like being high on life... in a sense. But it comes and goes. But it gives me hope that I’m getting closer to being back to normal. I do still have the pill, been leaving it at home. Honestly I don’t have any desire for it. I just want my life back, all the years, time and money wasted. I can’t bring that back but I can make sure my future will be bright if I keep my head straight.
    Still taking supplements like tyrosine, b6, multi gummies, etc.. 5HTP pills definitely give me a little brain boost here and there as well.
    I guess it’s going good.. for doing a at home quick sub taper I think it went well.
    Biggest problem is energy, other than that still have some bowl problems throughout the day, sometimes cold chills, randomly get RLS before I fall asleep, been eating better and better everyday, sleep hasn’t really been an issue these past 4 days, sometimes hard to fall asleep but once I’m asleep, I’m out, which is great considering I have to work in the am.
    Thanks for all the input and support guys, I do plan on going to NA meetings when time allows, but for now, this definitely helps a lot hearing from you guys.
    Sorry I wasn’t active yesterday, I read some of the messages you guys sent during work but didn’t have time to type this up.
    God Bless and I hope everyone enjoys there weekends
    (Guess you guys gave me the nickname)
    - Tech

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    185

    Default

    Nice to hear that today was another clean day added to the books, awesome job!

    Dont quote me on this but i believe that vitamin b12 is the better one for energy. I think thats even found in some pre-workout supplements.

    Magnesium and potassium will help minimize the RLS. Bananas are a good source of potassium but you can get supplements if you dont want to eat 10 of those a day a longtime member (Catrina, i hope you are doing well) also suggested that every one should try using heating pads set on low wrapped around your legs to help with RLS. Hot showers/baths right before bed is also a good way to get relief from chills and RLS.

    Good news - by Monday, your concentration should be much better. Your aches and pains can begin to be managed by ibuprofen or naproxen or tylenol. You should be able to last longer in the day before hitting that energy wall. Chills will be fewer and further in between.

    Good luck and have a great weekend!

    phantom

    PS - flush the pill

  8. #8
    Caterpillar Tech is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Thanks for the reply Phantom,
    I actually have been taking magnesium supplements daily that I’ve found in the cabinet at home also been eating atleast a banana a day. Guess it was a good call! And i will give the b12 a try for some extra energy.
    Another day,
    Slowly but surely getting better, feeling a little better day by day. Planned on taking off this Saturday from work, but by 9am I was getting antsy so I can try to keep myself busy.
    Was having some cravings last night, so I flushed the pill. I was not planning on taking it but I thought to myself, what do I need it for than?
    God bless

  9. #9
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,706

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Caterpillar Tech View Post
    Thanks for the reply Phantom,
    I actually have been taking magnesium supplements daily that I’ve found in the cabinet at home also been eating atleast a banana a day. Guess it was a good call! And i will give the b12 a try for some extra energy.
    Another day,
    Slowly but surely getting better, feeling a little better day by day. Planned on taking off this Saturday from work, but by 9am I was getting antsy so I can try to keep myself busy.
    Was having some cravings last night, so I flushed the pill. I was not planning on taking it but I thought to myself, what do I need it for than?
    God bless

    Just an FYI, there are many foods that have much more potassium than bananas! One half cup of dried apricots has nearly 3x the amount of potassium than a banana! Potatoes (skin on) and spinach have over 2x the potassium than bananas! Google search "foods high in potassium" for a complete list? Any RLS related to your detox should be pretty much over by now? K

  10. #10
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,706

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ricky71 View Post
    Just an FYI, there are many foods that have much more potassium than bananas! One half cup of dried apricots has nearly 3x the amount of potassium than a banana! Potatoes (skin on) and spinach have over 2x the potassium than bananas! Google search "foods high in potassium" for a complete list? Any RLS related to your detox should be pretty much over by now? K

    Not sure why only part of my reply posted? As I was saying, any RLS that was related to your detox should be pretty gone by now?

    Besides the lack of energy how is your mental state? Are you experiencing any anxiety and/or depression, if so, how bad? Any doom and gloom feelings, crying fits, etc...? How's your sleep? Also, list all of the vitamins/supplements that you are currently taking?

    Congrats on flushing the pill, very smart move! Have you checked into any twelve step programs and/or drug addiction counseling yet? Stay the course, things will only continue to improve from here on out. Update when you can? Take care... God bless us all!

  11. #11
    Caterpillar Tech is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Hey Rocky, thanks for the post. RLS is finally coming to a halt, I believe. Sleep has been okay the last week. Been waking up sweating bad the last couple days, not sure why because I never had that happen before. Mentally I am doing okay, have anxiety every now and than. Depression has been over with around 14 days into the journey. Maybe I shouldn’t say over with, every now and then I feel depressed but not bad at all. When I started my journey I was taking such small pieces of subs that it didn’t really help much but I used it as a little crutch. I have been taking tyrosine pills, b6 supplement, 5HTP, magnesium supplement, and just a men’s multi gummy daily.
    I believe it’s day 20 since I committed myself, and day 6 without taking anymore suboxone.
    I don’t feel like myself just yet, sometimes my head feels foggy, double sneezes through the day?, still having bowl problems but atleast it’s not painful anymore, and energy levels are low but slowly improving for sure. Have been eating regularly again, sleeping pretty good, and slowly getting my life back.
    I have not done any programs or 12 steps to be honest. I started attending church again which honestly I think made me feel a little bit better mentally. Been working a lot lately and by the time I get home I’ve been going straight to bed. Mentally I don’t crave the pills that much anymore, it’s like my brain finally realized all the damage those little blues did and it’s had enough.
    It’s definitely been 20 days of hell.. but I’m looking forward to a better future and as the days go on, the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter and brighter

    Thanks for your post and I hope you have a wonderful weekend

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    185

    Default

    Heck yeah man nice update!

    I would always sweat from about day 4 or 5 through day 10 or so, I used a lot of deodorant lol.. the sneezes are sooo annoying but will hopefully get fewer and further between in a week or two. The longer someone used suboxone, the longer the sneezes persist it seems! I never had sneezing problems when only using pills but as soon as i used suboxone i started getting them every time.

    Thats a good list of supplements! At this point all i would add is a good amino acid mix. One that has the 3 BCAAs and the 9 essential aminos. This will run you ~$40 but will help to lift that brain fog and help you repair/recover physically. Amino acid supplements work best on an empty stomach!

    Just keep swimming Tech! You are doing great

  13. #13
    Caterpillar Tech is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Hey Phantom, thank you! good to hear from you. Thanks for the suggestion, will definitely shop around for an amino acid supplement!
    I’m a little confused as to if I am still suffering from the oxycodone.. or if the 2 week small suboxone taper got to me a bit.
    Either way have to stick it out,
    Had to work Saturday and Sunday, I am shot today. I feel myself slowly getting better and better but it’s getting tiring fighting through the work days.
    I guess I played with the fire for too long and burned me up pretty bad. Hopefully time will heal the wounds
    God bless
    Tech

  14. #14
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,706

    Default

    Time will be the ultimate healer! You are still having lingering symptoms from both the oxy and the subs! All of those symptoms are completely normal and par for the course at this stage of recovery!

    You listed all of the vitamins and supplements that you are taking but you didn't mention how much you are taking of each one as well as what times you are taking them? The L-Tyrosine w/ B6 (for best absorption) needs to be taken on an empty stomach as does all amino acids! You may need to adjust the times and/or amounts of the supplements to get the best results from them? How's your diet? If you can avoid processed foods and refined sugar I think you'll find yourself feeling much better faster and with more energy as well? Make sure you are drinking plenty of water throughout the day! You're doing great by the way! Update when you can? God bless us all!

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    185

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ricky71 View Post
    Time will be the ultimate healer!
    This times a million!! Unfortunately withdrawals dont work like a bell curve, where they come on fast, peak and then leave just as quick.. the front end is like a bell curve - the symptoms come on quickly and peak around 72 hours. Yet, the back half of withdrawals is a longgg, gradual slope downwards. But make no mistake, with enough time your body and mind will be healed.

    Has work been getting easier, as far as concentration goes and not clock-watching?

  16. #16
    Caterpillar Tech is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Hey Ricky, thanks for the info. I have been taking the supplements in the morning. Just one of each, I believe the tyrosine is 500mg each? I have been eating better lately, mostly home cooked meals and fruits & veggies. I figured the fast food wouldn’t do any good either. And trying to stay hydrated through the day!
    Today I am feeling down under, brains a bit foggy and hard to keep focus throughout work. Super lethargic no energy today. It’s like a roller coaster, few good days and few bad. Gotta keep swimming!
    God bless

  17. #17
    Caterpillar Tech is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Hey Phantom, thanks for the response. The good days come with the bad. Some days I feel pretty good, decent amount of energy throughout the day, able to manage and get by without staring at the clock. Today I am just exhausted, foggy mind, really don’t feel like being at work. Overall just feeling down under today. Felt like I was slowly improving but hit a wall today.
    Man I just want this over with already. Today is the 24th? day on the journey. Starting to feel beat down. Feel like my moral is starting to drop. Maybe that’s just my head messing with me. Guess I gotta keep going
    Hope your day is well
    Tech

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    185

    Default

    Yep. I dread days like today. It doesnt make sense why we can be feeling fine for so many hours and we get reminded how much of a beast this was. Im having a cruddy day as well. Luckily im a handful of days ahead of you so its easier to take it on the chin.

    It is mostly in your head. The mental roller coaster we go through in the weeks following the acute, or first week, phase is tough. This is when most relapse because we convince ourselves we can take “just one, for some sleep/energy” and we fall back into addiction. We can never have just one. Thats addiction and its important to come to terms with that. So dont let the lack of 8+ hour, restful sleeps and the lethargy get to you. Come up with some coping skills.

    The head games and any lingering physical symptoms will be over soon. The sleep and energy will come in a couple weeks. But this addiction is never really ‘over’ if you know what i mean. Take care man.

    phantom

  19. #19
    Day2_Nightmare is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    1,030

    Default

    Hey there Cat Tech... You're receiving some good support here. I can't really add much to what you have already been told. But I can wish you well. It is a fight... It is the moment that we think we are far enough away from the pills that we can deal with just one. Sadly we can't... and we likely never will. Stay on your toes. Energy will come... the fog will lift... push through it... and listen to your body. If you need a rest day... take one. It's not easy but so worth it.

  20. #20
    Day2_Nightmare is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    1,030

    Default

    How are you doing today Cat Tech?

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    185

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Caterpillar Tech View Post
    Hey Ricky, thanks for the info. I have been taking the supplements in the morning. Just one of each, I believe the tyrosine is 500mg each?
    Dont know how i missed this before but you gotta get those tyrosine numbers up! Try 2,000 mgs a day. You can split between morning and lunch but i would do all in the morning on an empty stomach. 500 mg wont give much of a boost

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    185

    Default

    How did your weekend go Tech? Did you up those tyrosine dosages? Let us know how you are doing!

    phantom

  23. #23
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,706

    Default

    Hey Tech, where are you? It's been 5 days since your last post! As a matter of fact, you haven't even logged back in to the forum since that last post? When someone is actively posting daily then just suddenly "disappears" it is usually not a good sign! We are here for you through the good as well as the bad so please leave us an update soon? Take care... God bless us all!

  24. #24
    Caterpillar Tech is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Hey everyone! Sorry I haven’t posted back in 5 days. Been extremely busy with work, problems at home, and more work. I kept on telling myself I’d check back after work but always ended up passing right out once I sit down. Can’t complain about that though, waking up at 6am feeling pretty good. Have my own garage where I work nights and weekends. Worked Saturday and Sunday until 10-12pm.. had a bunch customers work I had to get moving since I’ve been so laid back lately. the weekend was rough. Made me think about how when I was using, working everyday 7 days a week I can push till midnight and be up early no problem. Leave work at 6pm, and work from my garage another 6 hours easy. Should’ve made a lot of money but I’m sure you guys know where that extra money went towards. Now, haha my body feels like I’m 65. Not as quick on my feet anymore and it shows.

    I want to be honest with you guys, on Monday morning I slipped up and did a 1/2 of a 30 . Was exhausted from the weekend and Just had a lot going on with life in general. I really regret it, because I’ve been doing a LOT better lately. Not 100%, but i get through the days and nights without too much trouble.
    Tuesday morning felt a little foggy in my brain , but wasn’t feeling any type of WD otherwise. One and done [I guess you can say half and done ]. That’s no excuse to continue messing around obviously. Nor do I plan on using every once and a while. I did it, I’m ashamed, but that’s life and just have to keep plugging along. Honestly didn’t even enjoy it. More disappointed than anything. Atleast I didn’t even want the other Half. Mentally I think I’ve been strong. I don’t think about them often, maybe it’s because I keep myself busy? Either way, I’m happy to where I am at this point, and I’m looking forward to an even better future.

    I’m trying to catch up on all my work so I can actually rest on afternoons and weekends. Constantly working is nice because it keeps me busy and my mind clear. But the fatigue from pushing myself so much & not having time to relax is taking a toll on me. Which I guess, is Normal right? I’m no longer the machine I used to be when I was taking the stupid pills.
    But I’m okay with that for now, im still young (23).. I’m sure I’ll get more stamina as time goes on. Just trying to do my best for now

    Thanks for everyone’s replies and concerns. Feels like a second family! I will do my best to be more active on here as I really enjoy this page.
    I will start taking more Tyrosene today, didn’t realize 500mg isn’t much at all but that’s for the tip!
    Overall I’m feeling a lot better than last week.
    Today is day 30 on my journey to recovery. 16 days without suboxone. And I had that little slip up on Monday. But I’m still positive, I’m glad I made it this far without spiring back into the deep hole. Longest I have gone so far in years. And honestly, I’m feeling better and better. Feeling pretty good right now too.

    I hope everyone’s journey is going well. Hope everyone had a good weekend and are having a great week for themselves.
    God Bless all of you& I’m grateful to have you guys to lead me in the right direction. Truley Sorry if I disappointed anyone and I hope my honesty doesn’t trigger anyone with any ideas.

    Talk to you guys soon
    Tech

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22