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Day 1...here we go!
  1. #91
    silverlining1 is offline Senior Member
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    Wow, bg......17 days.....what an awesome achievement......hang in there, I bet you are gonna start feeling better any day......hope this weekend brings you pleasure, and keeps your mind off days just ticking by. I found that in the moments when I wasn't dwelling on getting clean, I actually had some 'normal' times......it would just sneak up on me.....and then I'd be like....whoa, a couple hours just passed and it was good.

  2. #92
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Thanks! It's mainly been getting through work that's been hard right now. The work day just never seems to end!

  3. #93
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    You are doing great! I just want to give you a hand . I lost my post.. But it said that you are one strong woman.. AA meetings have helped me and may do the same for you.. I started my own thread so I don't keep hijacking others..

    I do hope you will read about PAWS.. It may or may not happen to you .. Being prepared will help so much .
    I wasn't the last time and went back on my DOC..

    You have been through so much! Keep doing you! ✌️

    Thank you for sharing!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 09-10-2014 at 12:25 PM.
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  4. #94
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Thanks guys! The morning was rough and gettin going was rough but once I got moving and doing stuff it got better, it was up and down through the day but that's to be expected for a while! After almost 6 years on subs and over ten years total on stuff I can't expect miracles But I can be thankful that I've made it 17 days with no extremely horrible days yet and going back to work early and really pushin myself to get through this and become the person I want to be!! I'm hopeful that eventually ill catch myself forgetting I was even on subs for moments because I feel good

  5. #95
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Thumbs up

    Excellent job for you both! I'm just a little over two years sub free and I'll tell you reading your threads really brought me back to those first few weeks. It is tough. It took me roughly about a month to feel 99.9% better and it was a very slow and agonizing process but it was a very small price to pay for freedom from the burden of addiction. You are both over the most agonizing part and it should be pretty much uphill from here. As I'm sure you've been told a million times, and obviously you've implemented; keep up that exercise. The more you exercise the quicker you will bounce back. Need to get those endorphins working. So even if you don't feel like it, DO IT.

    Good, clean eating is very important too, so great job. You want your body to detox this medicine out as fast as possible. If it's bogged down trying to digest and process junk food, it's slower. Also, junk foods lack the nutrients and vitamins necessary for the healing process. I also became very, very emotional around day 12. I had a terrible break down. It's normal. Just know that it WILL pass, and it's temporary. Even write yourself a note, or put those words on your cellphone back ground "This is temporary, it will pass". And you may struggle with this for up to a month or possibly longer. I am not a Doctor, just speaking from experience and research; the human body has AMAZING healing capabilities, so trust the process.

    # 1 BELIEVE
    # 2 GIVE THE BODY GOOD NUTRITION, VITAMINS & REST (I understand rest is hard right now)
    # 3 EXERSIZE
    # 4 SUNLIGHT
    # 5 SUPPORT
    # 6 POSITIVE ATTITUDE

    There's only one person that can stop you from succeeding, and that is YOU
    COMPLETELY CLEAN (Sub FREE) as of 7/20/12

    "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs LIKE ME" Marilyn Manson

  6. #96
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    I also meant to say, if your having trouble with sleep, look into this product called "Sleepy Time Tea". I was 8 months pregnant when I kicked sub, and I was already annoyed as heck and having trouble sleeping. I couldn't take ANYTHING except Tylenol PM, and that made the RLS worse. Sleepy time Tea was the ONLY thing that worked. And yes, it's all natural. A double cup, two bags, BANG. Out like a light. I was at least able to get four or five straight hours. Nothing else worked. That was maddening.
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.
    COMPLETELY CLEAN (Sub FREE) as of 7/20/12

    "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs LIKE ME" Marilyn Manson

  7. #97
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Thank you for taking the time to write to me I really appreciate it!! Today is day 18 for me and I made it through another work day I woke up all sweaty again which seems to be lingering on forever the body temp issues seems to be the one withdrawal symptom that really won't leave! So I hopped on my elliptical at 6:30 am even tho it was last thing I wanted to do at the time and it helped some and I got to work and got through my day now I have a three day weekend to rest up and work out some more before going back full time next week! There is this really negative lady at my job she is absolutely horrible she has the nerve to complain about me being gone in front of me and stuff and just is a very rude and negative person but I've been dealing with her for three years now and she had caused me many heart aches and even some tears throuhh the last couple years and I won't let her bring me down anymore at work she has no idea what I just went through and am accomplishing in my life! I am proud of myself and of all of you and we will get through this one day at a time!!! also my sleep has been ok.. I take an OTC sleep side or Benadryl some nights when I'm really struggling to sleep. Sleepy time tea doesn't usually work for me but I never tried two packets at once so I may have to try that thanks for the tip!! I have prepared myself for possible paws also the best I can I have eaten healthy and worked out daily throihh this and taking vitamins and supplements and seeing my therapist weekly and am just trying to keep a positive mindset as much as possible I have no desire to end up back on subs or the old drugs I used to do before subs so I will do whatever it takes in hopes of that not happening !!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 09-11-2014 at 05:13 PM.

  8. #98
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Also that is amazing that you're at 2 years sub free congrats on that and thanks for being here to help us!

  9. #99
    silverlining1 is offline Senior Member
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    Bg....

    Please think about the term....Post Acute Withdrawal Symptom......it is not a lingering problem.....note the word 'acute'.....that means it is not chronic, it happens all of a sudden. It is very rare. The lingering malaise of opiate abuse is just that. Sub is stronger, so the malaise might last longer, but it is not 'severe' or 'acute'. Don't bother yourself with something that will never likely happen. You are doing great!!!!

  10. #100
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Today is day 19 for me and I'm excited to almost reach my 3 week mark! I'm glad I didn't have to work today too! I actually got some sleep last night and slept in a little which was nice! Funny how when I had to work I can never fall asleep but when I don't work I fall asleep so much better! Today I'm going to go to the gym and then hopefully find a new book to start reading, I enjoyed reading two books while off and I'm thinking I would like to keep that goin next week will be rough working all five days but it has to happen so I will just keep on pushing! Hope everyone has a great weekend!!
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  11. #101
    silverlining1 is offline Senior Member
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    Good job on day 19! Almost 3 weeks!!!! I bet you're gonna feel a lot better than you think by Monday......hope you have a good time this weekend, and it takes your mind off the struggle....enjoy.

  12. #102
    KSinMT is offline Member
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    Just want to say congratulations on your success! How long did you end up taking off work? That is what scares me, and taking care of kids too. I have a job that probably won't allow me to take more than a week or 2 at the very most off. I'm not even close to jumping but still worry about it. Do you think you would've been able to work at all during those first 2 weeks?

  13. #103
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Hello! I originally got 3 weeks off because I had no idea what to expect after 6 years on subs.. But I did a long almost year long taper which ultimately helped my final jump I believe! The first week was for sure the worst and I definitely wouldn't have wanted to work during that time but if I absolutely had to I think I could have.. It would have been rough but doable. The second week I think I could have worked if needed also by mentally I wasnt ready to be around people yet.. Especially stressful people and things so I am thankful I was able to be off but I ended up going back three days on the third week because I started to feel more ready and started getting bored of my house. I think many people jump off and still manage to work I was just fortunate enough to be able to get the time I needed to get myself together the best I could!

  14. #104
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Day 22 for me and I feel pretty decent right now! Not looking forward to working five days this week but its just part of life right .. This weekend the boyfriend and I got to spend some time together which was nice. We're going to keep working on things and try to make this work. Our lease ends in march so I would hope by then we know what we want to do regarding living together or not beyond that point. We were best friends for years before becoming more so it is hard to imagine life without him no matter how much he drives me crazy sometimes ..lol. Regarding withdrawal symptoms the main one left is energy. We went to a park for a walk yesterday and I still wasnt able to keep up with my old pace before getting off this stuff. I had some anxiety still and cold chills but its all slowin down I think! I am trying to keep the healthy eating mixed in with some more enjoyable foods! Haven't had Mtn dew or any soda still which is good too! I just plan to keep taking my vitamins and fish oil and stuff at least until I run out! I've stabilized on half my paxil too so I know that eventually I will be all the way off that too but slow and steady wins the race right! I do notice cravings for a high sometimes and feeling weird not having that but it's normal after ten years and I have no intentions or desire to act on those moments hope everyone else's journey is going ok it's up and down but so doable to get off subs after long term use!!

  15. #105
    silverlining1 is offline Senior Member
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    All sounds good, Bg.....

    You know you are just going to get better and better from here on out!

  16. #106
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey there...

    Congrats on 22 days! I hope you and your bf are able to work things out. I've seen a lot of people on the forum get clean and then have to "re-evaluate" their relationship. Now that you're clean, you two will be able to see things more clearly and hopefully build a stronger relationship.

    You and I have the "long taper" in common, lol. Mine lasted 11 months! It was necessary to taper slowly after being on Sub for almost 8 years...and I believe it paid off in the end. I'm having energy issues too, but that's to be expected. I still get the "sweats" on and off (ew!), but it's way better than before.

    Enjoy your day! Talk to you soon.
    Kat
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  17. #107
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Hey kat I was wondering how you were doing too! Glad to hear things are getting better for you also! Honestly today I felt better than I think I did any day yet but I know it will be up and down I just wouldn't mind if more days were better I was busy all day working than ran errands and got stuff for awesome chicken salads for lunch all week! Turned out awesome! But these are things I hope to keep up! While on subs I never seemed to have energy through the last year on subs I had to force myself to do absolutely anything after work so I'm proud now when I do things even if its go get stuff to make salad and come home and put it all together lol. It's the little things sometimes right! Lets hope tomorow is another decent day! How is your anxiety and depression going?

  18. #108
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Today was day 24 for me and things have been going pretty good still! Just getting through the work days and trying to sleep at night I want to start trying to help others on here now by posting more to them now that people helped me to get this point I would like to try to do the same! I am just going to keep the exercise up as much as I can. It's hard for me to maintain that daily exercise while working and getting home late but I am aiming to make sure I fit it in 3 times a week still. I just hope every day continues to get better because so far things have just been going pretty good as far as i'm concerned the worst is over and I can't wait to reach my month mark! I do notice since going back to work about once a day I think "Oh I forgot to take my suboxone" or go to reach for it then realize it's not there...sometimes this moment makes me feel sad for a second and sometimes it doesn't bother me at all I just remind myself that's in my past and how much better I truly feel now even through the withdrawals.
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  19. #109
    silverlining1 is offline Senior Member
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    That post made me smile.....all of it!!!!

    Good job, bg

  20. #110
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Today was day 30 for me! Which is something I'm really proud of because I never thought I could do this. I had so much doubt and worry that I stayed on subs for too many years because of it. I'm here to tell anyone wondering though that this is possible and just put faith in yourself and it's amazing the strength we find sometimes! Work has been very stressful lately as I've mentioned in previous posts and I'm working over time and getting through the days even if I wish I didn't have to! I seem to find myself just exhausted and ready to rest though by the time I get home especially when I work over time in addition to the regular day that I struggle to want to get home and start exercising after all this.. It was so much easier when I had nothing else to do lol That's life though right! Right now my main concern is staying off subs and continuing on this path that I feel good about so if I miss some work outs it's really not the end of the world right!? I'm still eating much healthier than I ever did before but I do have to enjoy some not as healthy meals too sometimes of course! I been eating tons of apples and salads and bananas and still no mountain dew too! It is hard to stay off caffeine though once you go back to work...the vitamin water just doesn't wake you up quite the same lol So now that I've reached 30 days I will look forward to reaching 60 days next! I honestly can't believe that it was already 30 days ago that I started this... the first week was so slow but after that things really sped right back up!

  21. #111
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Congrats on 30 days clean!!! That is awesome! I'm so happy for you.

    You sound great. Seems like you're doing all the right things. Nope, missing a few workouts won't kill us, lol. I have to force myself to exercise still, but I'm starting to enjoy it more.

    It's pretty cool how you and I are only a few days apart as far as clean time. Keep doing "the next right thing"!

    Kat
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  22. #112
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    It's definitely cool that we're only a few days apart I enjoy the workout too once it's over I feel good about myself it's just getting myself to do it that seems to be the problem these last couple days..lol. I hope 'Iwanttobeclean' is doing okay I haven't heard from her in a while and hope to hear soon how she's doing also!
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  23. #113
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    Hi bg,
    I recently read your thread and wanted to say congratulations...it must feel awsome! I know it wasn't an easy jump for you. I see that you and Kat are close ( already sent her a big congrats ...and happy birthday!) and she's been so helpful to me.
    I'm only at 4mg in my taper so long way to go. Hope you'll lend your experience in my thread once in a while!
    Be well, a Peace.
    Beth/gratefulforfina

  24. #114
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    Well i am a bit late here so...I want to wish you a huge Congrats on days 35!!!
    You sound like your going strong and for me the exhaustion has gone.
    Time heals everything...Stay strong!
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  25. #115
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    Thanks!! So good to hear from you, and glad to see your post that you're still going strong and doing well!! Glad to hear your ear and dizziness are getting better too! Thanks for checking in Not sure exactly what day you're at but congrats!! I was going through this drawer of mine yesterday and I found an old "1 month" coin I got from meetings several years ago when I told myself being on suboxone was "clean" (it did feel like being clean at the time though), but I found it yesterday and smiled and felt like I finally earned that coin!! It was a good feeling.

  26. #116
    bg1007 is offline Member
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    I believe today is day 44 for me now and today is kind of cool for me because it's my first birthday in over ten years that I will spend free of any and all substances! i hope everyone is doing great and keep the faith that we can accomplish anything we set our minds and hearts to!

  27. #117
    KSinMT is offline Member
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    Happy Birthday to you! I hope you have a fantastic day!
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  28. #118
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bg1007 View Post
    I believe today is day 44 for me now and today is kind of cool for me because it's my first birthday in over ten years that I will spend free of any and all substances! i hope everyone is doing great and keep the faith that we can accomplish anything we set our minds and hearts to!
    Happy clean birthday!!

    Same for me. I celebrated my first clean bday in 10 years a couple weeks ago. Felt great! Congrats on 44 days! Hope you have a good day and will talk to you soon.

    Kat

  29. #119
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    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 10-07-2014 at 02:40 PM.

  30. #120
    silverlining1 is offline Senior Member
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    Happy, belated birthday, Bg!!!!

    And congrats on day 45 now!!!!!

    Your update brought a big smile to my face
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