Results 1 to 21 of 21
Like Tree5Likes
  • 1 Post By Iwantoff2013
  • 1 Post By Worstdescition87
  • 1 Post By Worstdescition87
  • 1 Post By Worstdescition87
  • 1 Post By Worstdescition87
Day 5, and on the edge of giving in
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default Day 5, and on the edge of giving in

    So, as for most of is this is not my first time trying to knock this sub addition out. But this is my first time publicly announcing my troubles. I've read so many accounts of success and it is very important (for me) to know that other ppl have broken through. I am at this moment on day 5. I really didn't feel much except a lot of discomfort and anti social behaviour because of horrible I feel I look n how often I trip over my tongue when I talk because of how unsure of what I want to say. My mind is working very slow. Mostly thinking about how to get a break from this bs. But last night is what really got me. I could not sleep. I hear ppl talk about RLS. This is much more than RLS. It should b called full body restlessness. Doing push-ups in bed getting out of bed to smoke a cigarette every hour. I tried taking my only Valium last night. But it made it worse it felt like. I'm on the edge here of just getting a life saver piece. But I know that is a dumb decision. I'm actually at this moment talking to my bestfriend on messenger n he lives across the street n going threw it as well. But he has an important thing he needs to do on Saturday n he is going to give in and get one today. Of course I am thinking FML. I might as well give in too. But to b awnest I've had much worse withdraw symptoms. I have no pain. Just cannot get comfortable for the life of me. I guess I am reaching out to engage in a helpful conversation to keep my mind on the prize of freaking freedom lol. I guess this is where I tell u what mill. I took b4 the leap. Well it's complicated but lets say I thought I was free n clear a month ago. I went to rehab n checked out cuz I was full of confidence after a week n when I came home It took all of 3 or 4 days for me to become extremely discomfort n gave in n took morphine thinking well. It's not Suboxone to find I was right bk where I started so I started buying subs on the street because I cut my doctor off and I'm to embarrassed to go bk hat in hand. So any ways about 3 weeks ago I started on 2 mill worked my way down to 1 mill fairly quickly n stayed there for ohh I'd say 2 weeks n made the leap on Saturday or Sunday I can't remember because on purposes I took alot of benzos to make sure I slept through the first couple days but here we are. Just very uncomfortable and pissed I couldn't sleep. I'm not depressed yet I'm sure that will come but I am more upset with myself. Thanks for reading please reply if u have moral support or advise. 1:06 pm friday August 19th

  2. #2
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    So Calif
    Posts
    2,791

    Default

    Hi there. Welcome.

    Ok, so you jumped off at 1 mg? I'm unclear as to what you were taking before you started at 2 mg three weeks ago? You detoxed in rehab but then started taking Morphine? Were you on Sub before you went to rehab? Just need to clarify.

    I'll be back...
    Kat
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Yes I have been on Suboxone for 5 years almost I went to rehab july1st got out July 14th. Feeling confident I had it under control but as I started to hang out with my friends I started to feel like I was withdrawaling all over again so I took 60 mill of morphine for a week I'd say n I got onto Suboxone as soon as I found sum for about a week I went from 2 mill down to 1mill. I was on 1 mill for about 2 weeks

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Sorry I didn't explain why I decided on morphine. I figured it would take the edge off the withdrawal without using Suboxone. Smh it just made things worse.

  5. #5
    Gilsmom is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    178

    Default

    I know what you mean about whole body restlessness!! That was my worse symptom!! The good news is it did not last long. I am a little over a month clean from oxy so I don't really know about sub but I wanted to pop in to give you a little encouragement.
    I did take hylands restless leg and I used a heating pad.. I don't know if it did much but I did feel better doing something.. Anything to try to get the edge off. Melatonin did help me calm down.. Not necessarily sleep but I did settle a little.

    Keep pushing through this and know that it is not going to last! It is going to stop! You're doing so good! Don't give up!
    Xo
    Mary

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    I appreciate the encouragement Thank you!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Day 6, Well, last night wasn't much better.... I tossed and turned and got up n watched tv. It was sobering all the thinking I did last night. I think I finally fell asleep around 5am I'm think. I woke up around 10am. Ugh I finally got a little sleep. It felt OK. Very uncomfortable sleep but sleep. Now I can c the light if it keeps up like this. Now of course my mind is focused on the other symptoms. I'm still a little shaky to the hands. Still have no energy n still have alil stomach issues. But I have the feeling I can do this now. I bought some boost last night n I think that really helped. I wasn't eating good that is for sure. I've lost 10 pounds. I'm skinny to begin with. Can anyone give me a time line here.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 08-20-2016 at 09:39 AM.

  8. #8
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,537

    Default

    Sub is strange .
    But I am pretty sure you are on the upside.

    You have to get up and start moving around
    Exercise I know it sounds impossible
    But it is so important ..

    It does get better .

    Your body has been through a lot
    So you have to nurture it now.
    The Thomas Receipe on here minus the benzo.
    Is a list of supplements .

    I will get it for you .
    Bette



    https://www.drugs.com/forum/featured...Thomas+receipe
    Last edited by Anonymous; 08-20-2016 at 09:59 AM.

  9. #9
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    1,240

    Default

    What was your sub dose for those 5 years? And how far did you make on the taper before jumping? And how old are you? Hard to timeline without that stuff - but you're doing great. You actually got some sleep. That's a good sign you're on your way.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Update. I just got offered free Suboxone.... It threw me into a all out withdrawal because my reaction was to cuss them out. I said I'm 6 days into my withdrawals n u decide that now is the time to offer me subs. I'm pretty sure it was the right decision. But damn I can't help but think I could have cut it up into the smallest pieces n it would have helped. But I'm also thinking it would have ruined the recovery I've made. Ugggghhhhhhhhhhhhggggghhhh

  11. #11
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,537

    Default

    Yes
    You made the right decision..


    But if you find that
    You just can't continue
    You could reinduce onto less than 1 mg
    Probaly .5 mg
    And use the taper we have on her
    Dropping 25 % every 4-5 days or when stable..

    Unless you can get enough sub to do it that way
    I would say just continue on ..

    I really do think you will be feeling better each day

    But sub is strange
    And
    It is strong.,

    We will support you either way

    Bette

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Im sorry i am trying to b specific but my mind is so off right now. My sub dose b4 I jumped was one mill. I was on that does for around 14 days b4 I jumped on Sunday of this week. I am 29. The weird thing is I could sleep just fine up until not last night but the night b4. I feel like my withdrawals are in hibernation n there gonna jump out at me lol i know it's just me being paranoid. But it's playing games with my mind. But thank you uncle Leo. and I love to smile. I appreciate the support. It really does help.
    UncleLeo likes this.

  13. #13
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    1,240

    Default

    Yeah sorry BestDecision, I hadn't read your whole thread closely enough. As always Bette is right on. It sounds like you were on sub for a pretty long time? But then you got a really good chunk of clean time so that will help you a lot. You might as well keep that to your advantage and keep going. Like she said, you can reinduct but your mind and body is already working overtime to heal...if you can manage it try to keep going.

    Exercise (even if it's a short walk), movies, podcasts, audiobooks, whatever takes you out of your head when you're feeling awful...and patience. You made it 60 days...we all take diff amounts of time to heal. Hang in there.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    I wish I was on 60 days. But I'm only on 6. But I will get out there today and do some walking for sure. I feel like I can stomach a little walk. Actually Im kind of starting to crave a little activity as the moves on. I feel cramped. But I feel like I can do this. I just hope this doesn't linger to much longer.
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    I just read something extremely discouraging. Is it true that someone that's been on opiates for a long time has to wait 6 months to a year for their brain to heal? I've been pretty much consistently taking some form of opiates for 10 years. (Since my Senior yr in highschool) The last 4 I'd say has been Suboxone. I'm on day 6 going on 7 n I'm worried I have to go through a long drawn out withdrawal. If this is true what is the best way about getting clean because I know me. I will break if I have to get threw that long of a withdrawal..........,.....................
    Catrina likes this.

  16. #16
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Worstdescition87 View Post
    I just read something extremely discouraging. Is it true that someone that's been on opiates for a long time has to wait 6 months to a year for their brain to heal? I've been pretty much consistently taking some form of opiates for 10 years. (Since my Senior yr in highschool) The last 4 I'd say has been Suboxone. I'm on day 6 going on 7 n I'm worried I have to go through a long drawn out withdrawal. If this is true what is the best way about getting clean because I know me. I will break if I have to get threw that long of a withdrawal..........,.....................
    I was an active opiate addict for nearly 20 years and I was 55 when I had my last Day 1 over 6 1/2 years ago. I've read that same thing more than once and perhaps it's true. The real deal though is that you won't be in constant or acute withdrawal that entire time. It takes a bit longer for the worst of the symptoms to pass from subs than from short acting opiates but even so, you will begin to feel better much sooner than 6 months. Remember too that you jumped from 1mg/day and that's still a hefty dose of sub but you're doing it. Remember too that the half life of subs is much longer than the short acting opiates and that's why you didn't have much trouble for the first couple of days but then things began to kick up. Stay strong because you can do this. I've watched as others jumped from a much higher dose and having been on subs for far longer than you. Things should settle down and then you'll begin to see improvement. Exercise, drinking plenty of water, and healthy eating will speed things up for you. Healthy people recover from any illness quicker so it makes sense, right? This is the perfect time to become stronger and healthier both physically and mentally. Don't let that 6 month thing freak you out. You'll feel better and better gradually and have good days and bad days--just like real life. Soon you'll begin to have more good days than bad. Thinking too far into the future is too scary and will only feed into all the mental games. Don't give it the power to sabotage your recovery. You're going to be OK so long as you get through today.

    Peace,

    Cat

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Thank you cat. Appreciated. It's hard to say what's going to happen. But as for now you've strengthened my resolve. I guess I know what it means now when they say "one day at a time".

    Thank you again cat
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  18. #18
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    2,060

    Default

    Hey Bestdecision
    Just keep going. Call on your inner determination to get you through. Bette is giving you great advice. She knows her stuff so....
    You can do this! Get imodium and drink a lot of water. Uncleleo's right abt taking a walk or exercising if u can. Stay busy. It won't be long.
    Hang in there!

  19. #19
    Decadeofdirt is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    19

    Default

    I'm going onto day five sub WD. Jumped from a very high 2mg. I've been on sub for 8 years. Believe me I literally feel your pain. A couple weeks is worth our lifetime of sobriety brother. I'm turning 29 this weekend, been on opiates since I was 18. God bless

    Dj

  20. #20
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    So Calif
    Posts
    2,791

    Default

    Anyone know what happened to Worstdescition? Why banned?

  21. #21
    carloscipher is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Don't know why banned. I hope they can get back on.

    In case they do:

    1) Long-term opioid use will change your brain chemistry PERMANENTLY. There is significant healing we can do during the several months after going sober, but the mind will not be the same. Many tests and studies have shown this. It's something most of us need to accept. Usually, it's not a terrible change, but a change nonetheless.

    2) As UncleLeo said, yes, please exercise. Go for walks at minimum even if you feel bad! Start with small walks (1-2 minutes) per day if that's all you can do. I've gone through 5 detox's (my current one subs) and exercise was a HUGE factor for me but we are all different. Nonetheless, my spreadsheet of anecdotal evidence from these boards--about 100+ data points--suggest that exercise is a massive help.

    Keep at it. I hope you can log back in or get support somewhere else. It's important. You are at 6 days! That is great! Keep up with the determination.

    Cheers. Good luck,

Similar Threads

  1. Day 3.5 off oxy - looking/giving help
    By Paradice2010 in forum Pain Killer Addiction
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-23-2018, 12:06 AM
  2. my feet left the edge
    By ghostrc in forum Suboxone Treatment
    Replies: 121
    Last Post: 06-05-2016, 12:12 PM
  3. im giving up
    By craigmack in forum Need to Talk?
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 02-29-2008, 09:50 PM
  4. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-22-2007, 06:59 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22