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Feels like now or never
  1. #1
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    Default Feels like now or never

    I was on the (need to talk) forum but decided to start a thread here as well (hope that's cool)
    This is day 13 of my taper I went from 8mg some days 16mg and was up to 24mg at one point over the last three years, anyway 12 days ago I dropped to 4mg then 5 days later dropped again to 3mg and today dropped again to 2.25mg. Besides the body aches and the vicious RLS the worst of it seems to be this lack of motivation it's crippling me... I'm staying the course no matter how lethargic I feel Cuz my determination to stong to turn back, I'm taking vitamins and kava and some Hyland product, I need to get off my azz sometime somehow this is very apparent yet so distant sounding. Netflix,showers, baths, and reading others story's on here is all I have energy for
    How long does that last?
    D.
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  2. #2
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    So 16 to 24 to 2mg? Sorry- that was kinda hard for me to follow.

    Whatever you're at - stay there for 10 days if you can...then we'll talk...
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  3. #3
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    Sorry, for the incoherent message brain and body are out of sync with one another
    Let's try again... over the last three years they had me up to 24mg and over the last year I was subscribed 16mg but mostly stuck to 8mg.. hope that makes more sense, over the last 13 days I've went from 8mg to 2.25mg...
    8 to 4mg
    4 to 3mg
    3 to 2.25mg
    Fist day on 2.25
    And I have no plans to wait 10 days to drop again I'll be dropping in 4 to 5 days
    but please don't make me wait for ten days to get communication from ppl... I have noone in my life I can talk to about this my wife's the only one who knows that I'm going threw this however she has absolutely no idea about being an addict, don't get me wrong she's a sweetheart and supper supportive but she can't relate I have been compulsively checking the two forums I'm in to see if anyone's has responded.. I know I know but I'm desperate for a ppl to talk with...
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  4. #4
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    OK I got the mg what are you tapering down from.

  5. #5
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    Suboxon was on subutex but ask to switch to suboxon so it would be easier to cut them up

  6. #6
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Nowat!
    Welcome. How r u doing on the suboxone? Strips right? Are they 8 mg?
    Have u looked at the subbtaper plan? It's the first post on this forum. You don't have to wait 10 days to drop! 4 is ok. You can make 25% drops every 3-4 days.
    Let us know what u decide...
    I see you're on 2.25 mg. Good job reducing! Make ur next reduction after u stabilize at 2.25. You can also make 10% reductions. That's what some folks did. You listen to ur own body and decide accordingly. That's best!
    Stay hydrated. Drink water and Gatorade to help flush the subs out. You can do this!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-06-2017 at 06:52 PM.
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  7. #7
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    Hello ming, yes they are 8mg and yes I've read the taper plan. 4 to 5 days seems to be enough at the moment so in 3 to 4 days from now I guess I'll be dropping to 1.69 not sure how I'm going to cut that up yet... but it's definitely not as hard as I thought but not as easy as anyone would like.. so maybe I should go ask for 2mg strips maybe that would make the cutting of these things easier. Anyway thanks for asking
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  8. #8
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    OK I went two days on 2.25 And again besides the lack of motivation I feel ok so today I decided to just drop again but in stead of only dropping 25% I dropped 54.5% a giant my thought process is as long as I'm stuck here in limbo I might as well drop as much as I can handle physically then why not, it's nice out today so I'm gonna force my self to go for a walk and run a few errands, it's been about 3 hours now after taking the 1mg dose and I took my vitamins and had a hot bath. And I feel like I did yesterday on the 2.25mg I'm assuming cuz of the long half life I guess we will see as the day goes on and how tomorrow is to see if this was to much to fast...
    Thanks d.
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  9. #9
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey
    The half-life of one dose of sub can be as long as 72 hours, as u know, so u might not feel the full effect of the drop right away. You went down to 1 mg. Ok. You decide how u feel in a couple of days. Hang in there. Drink Plenty of water. Subs dehydrate the body and mimic symptoms of anxiety. Who needs that? Gatorade is good too. You can do this!

  10. #10
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    Day three, on 1 MG feels still feeling ok hopefully picking up some 2mg strips today to make the cutting of these things a bit easier.
    Ming, thanks for the incouragement. I do drink lots of water and take a ton of supplements a day and have stated yoga the last two days, my core is killing me but a good pain...feeling better then I would have expected
    Thanks d.
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    Ming just spent the morning reading your journey, all I can say is wow you're awesome I'm sure anyone who reads your pages get something good from them... Anyway thanks for sticking around and offer newbies like me some of your positive vibes.. what a story what I noticed was when you fist started you seem to have medical issues pop up and towards the end those either went away or you just didn't let them get to you anymore either way great read for this morning,
    My word being type never come out as they are in my head lately, been a little off mentally, so I hope those came out like i wanted. Thanks and glad your living a life that you are proud of
    Thanks d.
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  12. #12
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi NowWhat - sorry, I must have lost your thread when it flipped to the Need to Talk somehow.

    You'll have plenty of encouragement around here - and go at whatever rate you can handle. We'll support you no matter what Mingy and I went through everything you're going through and somehow are still standing so you can def do this.

    Don't stress about the lethargy and fatigue. It's just part of the process. Keep posting
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  13. #13
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    No worries uncleleo, I have two threads Cuz I guess I'm a little narcissistic
    Thanks for the support
    D.

  14. #14
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    The lethargy and fatigue are the body's way of telling u the drugs are leaving! I know it can suck. But it will end! And not only will u feel better but u will be changed by the experience. You will be more understanding and compassionate. Can't help it! Lol
    Hang in there...
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    Day 4 on 1mg , the doc finally got me the 2mg fI'm strips, making that process a bit easier, I think this will be my last day on 1mg, I'm pretty sure I'll drop tomorrow, but I'll do the 25% drop, instead of 50 something% I did last time, not sure I can handle that physically, what do you tell friends and family I mean it's been 18 days of my taper and most flu like things can only last so long, and by my calculations I have at least 20 to 40 days left of this taper, plus the drop which seems to be around 20 to 30 some odd days on everyone's story that I've read,
    up sides so far.... music, sweet fn music, is getting threw to me again how much I missed, not know I even missed it so dam much, emotions are back good or bad they are here again... pooping regularly that's new for the first time in a decade or more, empathy for others, what else spring and longer sunshine days are right around the corner much needed.
    Birds are chirping not new but that I'm hearing them that's good.. I went from not being able to get off the couch at all to having a few hours each day doing things can't tell you how much that means to me...
    Any way two questions if I may.
    1) GABA the supplement how much to take of it also when I drop is benzos ok if I'm using GABA supplements?
    2) what to tell friends and family about what's up with me, so far I've been saying I'm just burnt out Cuz I use to work so so much that this guy isn't what anyone reginizes I guess I can just keep saying that, but when I drop drop I'm not sure I'll be able to work like I did before all the lethargic_ness started Cuz the pills and meds helped mask that I'm not that young anymore..
    That's how my brain is now lol positive one sec the crazy nervous the next... gotta make my self get up maybe stop watching so many political news stories lots of negative images forced into the brain can't be good
    Rants and ravings by d.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-11-2017 at 08:30 AM.
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  16. #16
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by forfuksake_nowwhat View Post
    Day 4 on 1mg , the doc finally got me the 2mg fI'm strips, making that process a bit easier, I think this will be my last day on 1mg, I'm pretty sure I'll drop tomorrow, but I'll do the 25% drop, instead of 50 something% I did last time, not sure I can handle that physically, what do you tell friends and family I mean it's been 18 days of my taper and most flu like things can only last so long, and by my calculations I have at least 20 to 40 days left of this taper, plus the drop which seems to be around 20 to 30 some odd days on everyone's story that I've read,
    up sides so far.... music, sweet fn music, is getting threw to me again how much I missed, not know I even missed it so dam much, emotions are back good or bad they are here again... pooping regularly that's new for the first time in a decade or more, empathy for others, what else spring and longer sunshine days are right around the corner much needed.
    Birds are chirping not new but that I'm hearing them that's good.. I went from not being able to get off the couch at all to having a few hours each day doing things can't tell you how much that means to me...
    Any way two questions if I may.
    1) GABA the supplement how much to take of it also when I drop is benzos ok if I'm using GABA supplements?
    2) what to tell friends and family about what's up with me, so far I've been saying I'm just burnt out Cuz I use to work so so much that this guy isn't what anyone reginizes I guess I can just keep saying that, but when I drop drop I'm not sure I'll be able to work like I did before all the lethargic_ness started Cuz the pills and meds helped mask that I'm not that young anymore..
    That's how my brain is now lol positive one sec the crazy nervous the next... gotta make my self get up maybe stop watching so many political news stories lots of negative images forced into the brain can't be good
    Rants and ravings by d.
    Good Morning,

    I don't know what to tell you about the Gaba but someone will come along and answer that for you. As far as the benzo goes, those are scary and I wouldn't mess with them at all. Oh they'll help with the anxiety and with sleep but then there's a problem waiting for you around the corner. Because they will help, you're apt to find yourself very quickly getting into a routine of taking one at bedtime. I get it. We become so desperate for a good night's sleep we'll sometimes do what we need to do to get it. Dependence upon benzos happens quickly so that's a slippery slope. Please be careful.

    I know that you really want this taper to be done and it's pretty remarkable that you have dropped so quickly and dealt with the physical and emotional fall-out from that. You are down to 1mg/day and planning a drop tomorrow. Are you stable? May I make a suggestion? I would really encourage you to slow down and stick to the Plan now. Don't reduce until you are symptom free even if that takes you a few days longer than what you would like. If you take that time now, your upcoming reductions will go more smoothly and you're going to feel much better during the remainder of your taper. I'd also reduce right on down to .125mg/day and then do the skip days. The folks who have the hardest time with their jump are those who have been on high doses for a long time and those that jump at too high a dose. This solves two problems for you. You're going to feel better now and your jump will have a softer landing. Eliminating the tough symptoms will also eliminate the need to come up with excuses for being sick--because you'll feel better.

    I respect your desire to do this your way but at the same time, hope you will at least consider my suggestion.

    Peace,

    Cat

  17. #17
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    Good morning cat,
    bout the benzos, I don't have a hook up for them.. I had them laying around for along time and I only have a few not to mention I don't like them I don't like the way they make me feel theirs at least a 80 percent chance I won't even use them. That being said I'm sleeping ok with taking all these natural remedies so maybe I'll just throw them away so that they won't tempt me on the drop, and I do plan to do the rest of the taper the way it is suggested I think I just needed that jump start or something, not sure but I do feel "stable" today I guess not sure what stable means to be honest I haven't felt stable for a super long time.. if it means I'm not have withdrawal symptoms then I'd say 90% stable do you think one two days would make that be 100% stable, but then again I feel better now at 1MG then I did at any other does...
    And I know this (i have to do it my way) has been a life long issue with me it's why I'm self employed. I am definitely wired that way I don't mean to be i just am, all that being said I would really like to know what stable means, I'm not trying to sound sarcastic it's just I don't really get it I guess. My body hasn't felt stable sence the beginning of all this, however mentally I'm more like myself then I have been in years...
    Confused I guess

  18. #18
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Yeah - I think your mind/body is reacting really well to your taper. The combination of genetics and environmental factors can make everyone so unique.

    The fact that you're already appreciated music, getting a few solid hours to get stuff done, still mostly just feeling flu-ish. Those all bode well for rest of your taper and jump.

    Are you taking the OTC Gaba supplements or Gabapentin? People confuse the two.

    As far as what to tell people - you got a million options. Can rip the band-aid off and tell the closest what's really going down. Not really an option for a lot of people still sadly. But you can also just be "taking sometime for yourself." Maybe you're rethinking career direction and researching options, lots of reading, soul searching, maybe some therapy, etc.

  19. #19
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    Good morning Leo, it's the otc supplements that also has L-theanine etc in it just some capsules with all the other vitamins I've been taking a day.
    And those are great suggestions on what to tell ppl. unfortunately my company has me in people's house and I live in a smaller town if ppl new I was ever on opiates like that, the stereotype may ruin my company it's a shame that so many still don't look at it like it's a medical issue and not a morality issue, but they would assume that maybe me and my crew would cheat them steal from them to get our fix, I've seen it here before with others is sad,,, so coming clean to anyone other then my wife is not an option

  20. #20
    dsh12345 is offline Senior Member
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    Been reading your updates today. Glad to see there are people around this morning. It seems like there has been long weeks of fatigue and lethargy. I'll be starting on the subs soon and I hope sticking to the Robert regimen goes well.

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    Good morning dsh when do you plan to start? For me that was what made me want to taper and ultimately get off the subs the lethargic_ness was destroying me... but getting better as I dropped down to 1mg the Robert's plan seems to have help thousands maybe more so I'm sure it help if you want it to..
    At least you have a plan now and people to support you through it..
    Wishing you the best buddy

  22. #22
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    Sunday morning supposed to drop to .75 today at least that was the plan. Ohh
    Good morning everyone, I took .75 today .50 an hour ago just to see if that would be enough to feel ok then waited it wasn't so I took the other .25 just before typing this..
    My brain is trying to tell me I can take a break today take more like maybe 1.25 1.50 i know it's not abnormal to want a break from the decline, but I'm to worried to want to do that Cuz of 2 reasons that's bad thinking put more in you to feel better for just a little that's old thinking or at least I thought it was,, so I'm gonna stay the course but thought I'd come clean about where my head is at the moment.
    Not sure what changed in the last 24 hours, the weather is winter like again that is not good for me but I don't think that's it is slept ok, only watch and read a little news so not to put negative thoughts in their,
    Maybe the aggressive taper a few tried to warn me about has finally caught up to me, or maybe just having a bad morning and this will pass in an hour or so.
    If anyone's awake and wants to talk I'll be here
    Thanks d.

  23. #23
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    I said two reasons but that's how my brain has been lately one thought in one thought out. Left the stove on the other day and took a shower luckily nothing but a bad smell and a messed up pot happened but that's scary to know that I'm not firing on all cylinders
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    So it's half way through the day and so far I decided to stay at the .75 haven't moved out of bed yet not really had my vitamins and a protein shake, and my supplements, but that's all I got accomplished today, I read a heart breaking battle this morning makes my pain feel like I'm being a wimp, but it was also very good read the ups and downs the struggles and yet somehow this person still got clean.. it was touch an go for a little while even know I see this person post on here now I was so worried they weren't going to make it... very emotional not down playing other stories we all have our story just makes you think damn if that can be accomplished with that amount of roadblocks and detours then I should have no excuse. I don't have any real medical issues just this one couldn't imagine thing to do this on top of something like that..reading that story made me want to keep on this path even if for today....
    D.
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  25. #25
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Stay strong you got this.

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    Hope your right... I'm at this point mentally that feels like pulling off the bandaid get this over with..
    so I can start healing
    but I know from reading all these stories on here that I have to go down the flight of steps and jump of that bottom one not 3 or 4 steps up... and then the next moment it's like >>>> I can't do this anymore this waiting this misery this prolonged agony, and after those few weeks I still have till I jump I'll have 30 days after that minimally... that's draining my optimism, maybe I'll shut up now Cuz I'm pissing myself off
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-12-2017 at 11:35 AM.
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  27. #27
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by forfuksake_nowwhat View Post
    Hope your right... I'm at this point mentally that feels like pulling off the bandaid get this over with..
    so I can start healing
    but I know from reading all these stories on here that I have to go down the flight of steps and jump of that bottom one not 3 or 4 steps up... and then the next moment it's like >>>> I can't do this anymore this waiting this misery this prolonged agony, and after those few weeks I still have till I jump I'll have 30 days after that minimally... that's draining my optimism, maybe I'll shut up now Cuz I'm pissing myself off
    Good Morning!

    First I'll answer your question. "Stable" means little to no physical symptoms. RLS, aches, chills, etc. The emotional/mental stuff is what it is and the best thing you can do for that is to try to get back to some sort of your regular routine. I don't know if your work slows down in the winter months, sounds from your posts it might but that may be me making assumptions. Your energy level, I'm sure is being affected too. It can be hard to figure out how much of it is your reduction and will get better if you stay at your dose for another couple of days and how much of it is being overwhelmed by looking too far forward anticipating how much time you have left before you're done and how you're going to feel once you are done. I've forgotten, is this your first day at .75? If it is, push through this and see how you feel in a few days.

    As far as your final jump, try not to worry about that. You won't have been at high doses for a long time and if you reduce down even further than the .25 and do the skip days, you'll bounce back more quickly. I do think that your fast taper has made things harder but you've come this far to do anything about it except to allow yourself time to level out and then stick to plan. I was glad to read that you intend to do that. Allow yourself the next 4 days or so to get good and stable (no physical symptoms ) and you'll have a much easier time from here on out. Yes. Sticking to plan means that you have around 3 weeks before you should jump, but the pay-off is that your jump will be easier and it won't take you as long to feel better afterward.

    Get up! Go for a walk. Offer to cook dinner for your wife. Doing something nice for her will make you feel better.

    Peace,

    Cat

  28. #28
    dsh12345 is offline Senior Member
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    I plan on last dose of DOC in the next 12-24 hours and putting a notice on my thread about it.

  29. #29
    dsh12345 is offline Senior Member
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    You say the weather has gotten worse lately and feels like Winter... I bet you live on East Coast same here it has been FREEZING the last 2 days and it sounds like snow is expected again Tuesday. Ugh.

    From reading your last couple posts..... If you are so tired and can barely get out of bed and posting and netflix is all you have energy for.... I'm not sure if the best idea is to keep going lower on the doses. Your body isn't getting enough suboxone (you can say that's a good or a bad thing I guess), and each time your body tries to catch up (like a backwards version of building tolerance - REDUCING tolerance) it might be the case that once your body tries to catch up, you drop the dose again so your body never seems to quite catch up. I would give consideration to what Cat said, and see if you can stabilize a bit better before you keep dropping and tapering and let your body catch up with the newer and lower doses you've been taking. If you keep dropping, itll be like 2-3 weeks and you'll be on, say, 0.25mg but your body will always be a week behind so you will continue to feel bad. I think maybe just trying to stabilize yourself, or taking a bit extra to try to stabilize will do wonders for you. That's just my 2 cents. Remember, I am speaking not from experience but from a place of just being highly knowledgeable about this stuff, so what I am saying should make sense in theory. Whether that's good enough to result in making sense in real life... I do hope so.

    Hang in there buddy. I know you feel alone but you have me sitting here thinking about you and hoping you get through this OK.

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    Hey thanks for taking the time out of your days cat, & dsh,
    really appreciate that,
    I will stay at this amount. i can tough out the physical pains that's never been a big deal for me. rls sucks but nothing like this mental battle, one hour felling positive the next beating myself up for the lethargic mess I'm in. I'm afraid to take a little sliver more like they say you can do once in your taper, Cuz of two reasons I don't won't to feel good from the meds and the other if you can only use that trick once I'd rather keep for the end if needed... when I dropped to 1mg I felt pretty good and that was from 2.25mg so I would think that taking away .25 down to .75 from 1 wouldn't touch me.. I guess I was wrong and mix that with this eastcoast "re-wintering" and this is can't get out of bed feeling. Just pulled the rug out from under me.

    Cat this is day 1 on .75
    I don't have slow times really but I can not take jobs so that's good and bad....
    Dsh, glad your sticking to your plan thats awesome... and yeah it's supposed to get ugly again weather is all over the place

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