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Finally jumping after 11 years on Suboxone/Subutex
  1. #1
    MooningTheMan is offline New Member
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    Default Finally jumping after 11 years on Suboxone/Subutex

    Hi everyone, this is my first time posting. I've been reading people's stories of tapering and jumping for years and have been to afraid to do it. I started suboxone 11 years ago after a 20+ Norco a day habit, along with OC, Percs, etc.

    A friend told me about Suboxone and I started taking it 11 years ago. My doc first prescriped me 16mg/day but he didn't really care how much I took. He just said, let me know when you need more. After 4 years I was up to 32mgs+/day (which I know now, wasn't doing anything besides draining my wallet). I stayed at 32mgs for 4 years and then decided enough was enough. I was nodding off while driving, couldn't really focus on anything, could stay awake while working and didn't have much interest in anything or anyone anymore.

    3.5 years ago, we went on vacation to visit my in-laws for 2 weeks and I decided I was going to cut my dose in half and it was a cake-walk. Going from 32mg to 16mg was easy. 1.5 years later I decide to go down again and dropped to 8mg, which again was easy.

    My family and I made a big move almost 2 years ago and I decided I was going to be done by the end of that year. (That didn't work out as planned. It's been 2 years and I'm finally making the jump.)

    During the first year of those 2 years I tapered from 8mg to 1mg and then again down to .6mg. I stayed on .6mg for about a year.

    About a month ago I started my final descent. BTW, the whole time I was taking suboxone I was dosing 4-5 times a day. So, I when I decided to quit I tapered to .25mg and started taking 2 doses ( of .125mgs ) a day, which was hard. I did that for almost 2 weeks then tapered to .06mg 1 time a day for a week.

    I started skipping days 5 days ago. I'm using the Skip 1 days, Skip 2 Days, Skip 3 days, plan. Today is my 2nd day of the Skip 2 days. I think I'm just done though.

    The last 2 years tapering from 8mg to .06mg has been rocky. I had a lot of mood swings and unfortunately made a lot of dosing adjustments. I was bouncing between 1mg and .5mg for a few months until I landed on .6mg.

    The biggest problem I'm having with all of this is the restless sleep. Since I started skipping I've been getting 2-4 hours of sleep. Last night I actually got 6 somehow. The depression and lack of motivation isn't so bad because I got used to it during my taper. So, this just feels like more of the same but better. It's like I can finally see the end of this thing that has consumed my life for the last 11 years. I have 2 daughters 7 and 13 and for most of there child-hood I have been a slave to suboxone. I am looking forward to feeling human again.

    Thanks for reading. I hope that some of my story can help ease peoples minds about the taper and long-term use.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-05-2018 at 07:54 PM.

  2. #2
    MooningTheMan is offline New Member
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    I'm on day 4, since my last dose of .06mg. Sleep has been fine, the last couple days. I got about 5 hours of sleep. The fog is starting to clear and life is starting to look better. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think because I spent all year tapering I got accustom to feeling $h1tty for long periods of time.

    This feeling is different though. I still have a little sweating and some chills but nothing like the first couple days and throughout my taper from .60mg to .06mg. It's a little nerve racking because during my taper I always knew I would have my next dose coming up but now, there is nothing waiting for me, which is one of the hardest parts especially after depending on my subs to make me feel better for the last 11 years. It's a terrifying and exhilarating.

    I have been taking 8mg pills the whole time but I was able to break it up to tiny little crumbs which I estimated to be +/- .06mg. I had a reaction to the strips when they first came out. They burned my tongue and turned it white. When I moved here, 2 years ago, I came prepared with a bottle of 120, 8mg pills. As of today I have 2 left, which is part of the reason I decided it was time to jump. I think I'm going to flush them.

    If you are reading this because you are scared about tapering, jumping etc. I was on a monster dose of 32mgs for 4 of the 11 years I've been on subs and tapered down to .06mg and it was scary. I know some people think if you are on a high dose for a long period of time that tapering down low enough to jump comfortably is near impossible but it's not.

    I know I was on it way too long but the good news is, I don't remember what it felt like to be high, so I have absolutely no desire to take anything else. That's the plus side of long-term sub maintenance.
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  3. #3
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey mooningtheman. Welcome!! First off congratulations on tapering from 32mg/day down to .06!! That's quite a feat in itself. Don't worry about the sleep. It will balance out in time. I think as low as you tapered you'll rebound faster than the norm.

    I too was on a high dose of subs 16mg/day for 5 years. And about a year and a half ago I tapered down and jumped from 1mg/day. I really didn't know much about the drug at that point in time and had no idea what I was in for. My sub doc was like yours, ignorant. Never talked about getting off, and just wanted my $$$. And that's ok. Like you said being on the subs for a long time allowed me to curb my addictive thoughts and adjust to a life without the oxy running my daily thought process. But getting off subs is another monster. Today I'm a little over 6.5 months clean and feeling better every day. Not every day is perfect but that's life, and I couldn't be happier!! So much better than I could have ever hoped for.

    Just keep taking it a day at a time. That fog will lift. Everything will seem brighter, better, more vibrant. Food tastes better. Sights, sounds, smells. It's amazing on how much we missed while we were numb. I was worried if I'd be the same off the junk, if I could function. Etc. But you can, and you will!!!

    Have you seen the Thomas recipe for opiate withdrawal? Everything there will help get you back to "normal" minus the benzos unless you're already taking them under a doctor's supervision. They're highly addictive and you don't want to trade one for the other. One thing that really helped my mental clarity was DLPA. It's an amino acid that repairs the brain after years of opiate abuse. I can't speak highly enough about it!! It's amazing. Give them both a google.

    As for the rls, and sleep. I know wav mentioned to you on his thread about the Hylands restful legs product. And heating pads work wonders too. Sleep wise I fought that battle for a month and a half. I tried everything possible. Some things work great for some people and others not at all. What worked best for me was a long hot shower, and then 2 valerian root capsules washed down with a strong cup of sleepy time tea. Some nights I was able to sleep, others it relaxed me but it was better than flip flopping all night. You just gotta train yourself to take the sleep as it comes. Stop watching the clock. It'll drive you insane. There's otc sleep aids you can try. Unisom and products like it. Melatonin, I'd try 5mg. Less is more with melatonin, (make sure you're in a completely dark room, no tv, no phone. Certain kinds of light can negate it's effects) I also tried Tylenol pm. But not often, didn't want to trade one for the other and didn't want to have to rely on it. Same thought process with benadryl.

    Whoo. That went a little longer than I planned. Lol. I guess I'll wrap it up here. You couldn't have found a better place than this!! Congratulations and welcome again!!

    Keep posting and reading it helps so much!!!
    You're doing great. Keep racking up the clean days!!
    Beef

  4. #4
    MooningTheMan is offline New Member
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    Beefaroni, thanks for the positive words of encouragement. That stuff really does help. Congratulations to you for being 6.5 months clean. You jumped from a high dose. I noticed that almost everyone who jumped from that or higher had an awful time. I'm glad I read those stories and pushed myself to taper as low as I did. I know things get better, there are just times when it's hard to see that.

    Like you, one of my biggest worries was if I'd be the same person, when I got off and if my wife and girls will like who I am. But the truth is I think they'll probably like me more. My wife and I have been together 16 years and throughout most of that I've been on subs. I'm sure I'll be more fun to be around and I'm hoping my mood swings subside, etc.

    I do have Valium that I was prescribed for anxiety years ago but I don't want to take it. I tried when I first jumped from .6mg to .25mg but I didn't like how it made me feel and I didn't want to be slave to anything else, so I roughed it out. I do think I will try the DLPA and Melatonin but sleep does seem to be getting better everyday.

    I really appreciate you taking the time to right back and I plan to post everyday with my progress. I know before I started my taper I was scared and there were a lot of stories that weren't very positive and they added to the anxiety rather that helping to subside it. That's why I wanted to share my story. Because, getting down this low it really hasn't been that bad. The symptoms I'm feeling are mostly mild and are not hindering me from do what I need to everyday.
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  5. #5
    MooningTheMan is offline New Member
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    Today is day 5 and sleep was great last night, well not the getting to sleep part. But, once I fell asleep I was able to sleep for 7 hours, without much flip flopping. Still have some stomach issues but that is understandable as I've been constipated for the last 10 years. Sneezing and runny nose picked up a little today but overall everything is very mild. I'm able to get up and do what I need to do. I'm getting out of the house my wife and girls.

    The fog slowly seems to be clearing.
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  6. #6
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Grab some Imodium. Liquid form works best. Take it as directed as needed. One dose of it would last me for 2-3 days, calm my stomach and make for less frequent bathroom visits. Total lifesaver!!!
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  7. #7
    thefigurehead is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MooningTheMan View Post
    Today is day 5 and sleep was great last night, well not the getting to sleep part. But, once I fell asleep I was able to sleep for 7 hours, without much flip flopping. Still have some stomach issues but that is understandable as I've been constipated for the last 10 years. Sneezing and runny nose picked up a little today but overall everything is very mild. I'm able to get up and do what I need to do. I'm getting out of the house my wife and girls.

    The fog slowly seems to be clearing.
    Hey, congrats on 5 days off those subs. And able to get some sleep, too! That is outstanding. When I jumped off sub, my number one fear was not being able to sleep. But I managed to sleep every night. I do what Beef recommends, no tv, no phone, dark and cool room to sleep. I also took 6 mg's of meletonin, too.

    You have a lot to be proud of... you were on a huge dose of subs and were able to taper down to nothing and jump. Major props to you for being able to see it through.

    I tapered down to .25 mg's and jumped from there. Today is day 66 since I quit. I used gabapentin as my main comfort med. I was already on a dose of clonazapam, too.

    Are you planning any aftercare, like a therapist or meetings?

  8. #8
    MooningTheMan is offline New Member
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    Hey figurehead. Thanks for the reply and the positive words. 66 days is awesome. Do you feel better? Do you have any lingering issues?

    I don't plan on any aftercare or meetings right now. I have a good support system at home with my wife and kids and even my dad who lives with us. Also, like I mentioned in an earlier post I have absolutely no desire to use, I moved far away from people that I used with and I don't even remember what it felt like to be high, so I think the long-term sub treatment did it's job in that regard.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-07-2018 at 03:52 PM.

  9. #9
    thefigurehead is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MooningTheMan View Post
    Hey figurehead. Thanks for the reply and the positive words. 66 days is awesome. Do you feel better? Do you have any lingering issues?

    I don't plan on any aftercare or meetings right now. I have a good support system at home with my wife and kids and even my dad who lives with us. Also, like I mentioned in an earlier post I have absolutely no desire to use, I moved far away from people that I used with and I don't even remember what it felt like to be high, so I think the long-term sub treatment did it's job in that regard.
    The only real issues I still have are pretty minor... rapid fire yawning, watery eyes, stuffy nose. Stuff that could be just the new normal for me. Early on, I had some nasty restlessness and boredom... and some anxiety, too. I have been fortunate to have a relatively smooth WD so far.

    That is great that you have such good support at home. It really means a lot to be able to have face to face accountability. And I know what you mean about not wanting to get high. I only spent 11 months on subs, but that was enough to make me never to want to have to use again.

    Are you having any of the restlessness and not knowing what to do with yourself? That was a big thing for me that first week. I didn't stay busy enough.
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  10. #10
    MooningTheMan is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thefigurehead View Post
    The only real issues I still have are pretty minor... rapid fire yawning, watery eyes, stuffy nose. Stuff that could be just the new normal for me. Early on, I had some nasty restlessness and boredom... and some anxiety, too. I have been fortunate to have a relatively smooth WD so far.

    That is great that you have such good support at home. It really means a lot to be able to have face to face accountability. And I know what you mean about not wanting to get high. I only spent 11 months on subs, but that was enough to make me never to want to have to use again.

    Are you having any of the restlessness and not knowing what to do with yourself? That was a big thing for me that first week. I didn't stay busy enough.
    Yeah, my nose has been running like crazy today and I've had some yawning but not the normal WD yawns, they were real yawns and they felt good.

    I had the restlessness for the first couple days just wanting, waiting to get past the 4-5 day mark but it's subsided. Luckily I'm taking on a new project for work and it's keeping me pretty focused. I try to get out of the house with the wife and girls at least once a day or every couple days. Whether it's just to go to the store or to fishing at the river or whatever. Also, my wife and I go to the gym almost every night which was hard at first but helpful.
    Ming23 likes this.

  11. #11
    David256 is offline Member
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    Great work and some great posts that I see a lot of your story in mind.
    -Dave
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  12. #12
    MooningTheMan is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    Grab some Imodium. Liquid form works best. Take it as directed as needed. One dose of it would last me for 2-3 days, calm my stomach and make for less frequent bathroom visits. Total lifesaver!!!
    Thanks Beef, I did pick some of this up but I think my stomach issues have subsided mostly.
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  13. #13
    MooningTheMan is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by David256 View Post
    Great work and some great posts that I see a lot of your story in mind.
    -Dave
    Thanks David. I just wanted to share my story so people can see that hope is not lost. They can get off of subs no matter how high of a dose they've been on and how long they've been taking it.
    Ming23 likes this.

  14. #14
    MooningTheMan is offline New Member
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    Day 6: I was a little sluggish today but I think it's because I didn't sleep much last night. I had a little bit of a rough time getting to sleep and then I had to wake up early. I've noticed that the more sleep I get, the better I feel that day. Stomach issues are almost gone, runny nose wasn't as bad today and the fog seemed a little thicker today but I think it's because I didn't get a lot of sleep.

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