Page 2 of 7 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 60 of 197
Like Tree73Likes
I desperately need help tapering off subs
  1. #31
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    Hi KS

    That was my.plan from 2mg to.go to 1.5 or 1.75 I'm feeling alright, I know it's not 100% painless, I can accept that. I've no way to relapse. All those ppl are out if the picture. The worst would be unending PAWS like what happened before....I was taken off 16mg abruptly and suffered for 8mos in wd until I went back to subs. Thats why I'm so glad I found thus forum and helpful ppl so I do it right, Am comfortable and confident I can do this! Ahhhh I just want it to be over! What's everyone's experience with PAWS? How long has anyone been thru it or is it temporary, few weeks or so after the final jump? Its really difficult to get 1.75 and 1.5mg out of the 8mg strips. I've a box cutter but I still think I'm gonna screw up the doses...just bc it's such a small piece of that dose (the 8mg) anyways hopefully this week is better than last bc I'll be alone at my mom's until.Thursday. thank you so much xoxox

  2. #32
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    So Calif
    Posts
    2,791

    Default

    F
    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I took 2mg just now also. Thank God I'm going to my mom's most of this week. I think I'll be alright on 2mg for 8 or 9 days then go down again. Hopefully everyone had a nice weekend so far. I'm looking forward to moving, getting better then working getting a car and getting to see my daughter more. Her >>>>>> addict father has sole custody. I see her Once or twice a month. I'm allowed 2 phone calls a week. Long story but the system here is corrupt and he's family ties to lawyers, judges etc. I'll check back later. Ty xoxoxox
    You're tapering WAY too fast. Please trust me on this. I just skimmed through your thread. You were still taking 4mg as of 10/17. Now, 2 days later, you want to drop to 2mg. That's a really bad idea. You need to follow the taper plan protocol of only dropping 25% at a time, and only when you're stable. You need to stay at each dose for AT LEAST 4 full days. However, since you've been on Sub for 3 years, you'll probably need more time at each dose. Most people in your situation stay at each dose for about a week before reducing again. People who rush through their taper always have problems and end up having to increase their dose to get stable again. I've seen it time and time again.

    Slow down. Listen to your body and be patient. You have enough Sub to do this properly. Especially with everything going on at home/emotionally, now is the time to take it easy and follow the plan that has worked for so many others. So you took 2mg today, right? You need to add another 1mg. A 25% drop from 4mg is to 3mg. Once you're stable, your next drop is to 2.25 mg.

    I'm just looking out for you. Trust the process - it works!
    Kat
    KSinMT and alexnt like this.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    Agreed. Idk why I'm rushing it. I'm scared too. I starting getting really depressed too. I know it's the wd the depression is. It's getting pretty bad. I'll add another mg today for the next few days then do the 2.25. Yes I.have about 17 or so strips less. I'll go cut them.up now. I'm.not purposely being stubborn at all Idk why I'm rushing. The person I live with makes me feel so badly about myself to begin with, this just adds to it. Thanks Kat and everyone Ty xoxoxox

  4. #34
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    So Calif
    Posts
    2,791

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    Agreed. Idk why I'm rushing it. I'm scared too. I starting getting really depressed too. I know it's the wd the depression is. It's getting pretty bad. I'll add another mg today for the next few days then do the 2.25. Yes I.have about 17 or so strips less. I'll go cut them.up now. I'm.not purposely being stubborn at all Idk why I'm rushing. The person I live with makes me feel so badly about myself to begin with, this just adds to it. Thanks Kat and everyone Ty xoxoxox
    Don't let him get to you. He obviously gets off on making you feel bad. Ignore him. Do this right - for you! To hell with what he thinks or says. As you know, the only thing that will come from rushing is unnecessary WD symptoms. Don't to that to yourself. And don't even consider dropping again until you've spent at least 5 or more days at each dose. Long-term Sub users have to take this slow. I know it's hard to be patient, but you must. Breathe. Remember why you're doing this. If you do it right, you only have to do it ONCE!

    Only cut up what you need for now. Wrap the rest in foil and label it if necessary. There's no need to go on a cutting spree..lol We're all here for you. Don't worry. Accept the fact that this is gonna take a little time, but it's so worth the wait once it's over.

    Kat
    KSinMT likes this.

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    Hi Kat. Thanks for putting it into perspective. I try my best to ignore him, but I'm afraid to set him off doing anything wrong. He does seem to get off on my feelings that are bad. I am now at my mom's for 4 dats. I took the other mg and feel better. That's true I don't remember thinking about it that way....it'll only be once. Idk how to stop worrying. I'm trying to breathe and relax Idk why I can't. I've a lot of guilt surrounding these circumstances though, which I'm working on in therapy currently. I've a psych appt tomorrow and I'm gonna tell her everything I feel and what I'm doing as well. She might be able to help too. Again thank you so much for your support and courage. I wouldn't be able to do this alone! Ttys xoxox
    Iwantoff2013 likes this.

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    Hey Kat I do have a question about the final jump...what were your experiences with getting to normal after that? How long did any PAWS or wd last for you or anyone else? I'm not sure what to.expect, I know everyone is different and it seems men get over it more quickly. I'm a ways off from that too, but more or less trying to mentally prepare for whatever. Its day by day for now until jump day right? Ty so much and take care.

  7. #37
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    So Calif
    Posts
    2,791

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    Hi Kat. Thanks for putting it into perspective. I try my best to ignore him, but I'm afraid to set him off doing anything wrong. He does seem to get off on my feelings that are bad. I am now at my mom's for 4 dats. I took the other mg and feel better. That's true I don't remember thinking about it that way....it'll only be once. Idk how to stop worrying. I'm trying to breathe and relax Idk why I can't. I've a lot of guilt surrounding these circumstances though, which I'm working on in therapy currently. I've a psych appt tomorrow and I'm gonna tell her everything I feel and what I'm doing as well. She might be able to help too. Again thank you so much for your support and courage. I wouldn't be able to do this alone! Ttys xoxox
    I'm glad to hear you have an appt with your therapist. Let it all out, don't hold back. Use that time to your advantage. Ask him/her what you should do about your living situation. Also, use this time at your Mom's to relax and get yourself together. I know it's difficult to relax when we're anxious and worried, but no amount of worrying ever solved anything. It just makes matters worse.

    I have this book called Mindfulness in Plain English. Bought it from Amazon. It's an excellent book about meditation. The author writes about meditation in such a way that makes it easy for the reader to understand. No mumbo jumbo, no mystery. There are some wonderful music arrangements on YouTube. Search "meditation music" or even "sleep music". There are hundreds of peaceful pieces you would love. Whenever I feel anxious, I put on that music and read my book. It's so relaxing. Deep breathing exercises work well, too. Give it a try! Take a nice, hot bath with bubbles and candles.

    I'll check back later. Be well.
    Kat

  8. #38
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    So Calif
    Posts
    2,791

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    Hey Kat I do have a question about the final jump...what were your experiences with getting to normal after that? How long did any PAWS or wd last for you or anyone else? I'm not sure what to.expect, I know everyone is different and it seems men get over it more quickly. I'm a ways off from that too, but more or less trying to mentally prepare for whatever. Its day by day for now until jump day right? Ty so much and take care.
    Sorry, didn't see this last post because I was replying to the other one...

    When I jumped, I had about a week of mild physical WD. Nothing unbearable and nothing like a cold turkey WD! It was mostly aches, sweating, sluggishness, and some trouble sleeping. Things got better after that first week. I had a lot of emotional ups and downs. But remember, I was on Sub for 8 years! That makes a big difference. PAWS is not as common as people think. It's normal to feel sad and anxious once we jump off because our mind and body needs time to heal. Don't overthink it. Worrying about the final jump will only drive you nuts, lol. I promise, it's nothing you can't handle!

    Kat

  9. #39
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    Ok I feel better that you told me what to expect. Honestly I do. A lot better. I'm trying to get out of there ASAP. There's no food or water there, I just ate today first time in 3 days. I do feel better now I took the other mg. Ok I'll try my best. I'm.so high strung and anxious by nature I know worrying doesn't accomplish anything. Idk why I do or get anxiety either. Stupid Vistaril does nothing for anxiety either. I might go for a walk. Thank you so much. You're so much help! Kat you really are a HUGE HELP! Everyone here is. I have my try st in you and believe you. Thank you for believing in me! Ty xoxoxox
    Iwantoff2013 likes this.

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    364

    Default BubbiesMommy

    Hi BubbiesMommy,
    I wrote to you a bit a little while back on your original thread...glad you came here. Like we all said, you would, and did, find the support you so desparately need.

    First, I am very sorry for your situation. I wish there was some more tangible help you could find here but the emotional help is just as crucial...the rest will eventually work itself out.

    Second, you cannot do ANYTHING well if you're in WD. I read this whole thread and was thinking every single thing which was suggested to you...SLOW DOWN! I went 6mg to 5, to 5.25...hit a big wall at 4.25mg. I am at 2.50 mg but had to go to .25mg drops and only when feeling ok to do so. I just went two weeks before dropping this morning and I realized that after almost 3 years on Suboxone, every one to two weeks is ok with me. Trust Kat's experience...she is the reason I finally accepted it might be a longer taper than I first intended.

    I was a Community Health RN for a couple of years and worked with women in need. I now work with special needs children. My point in telling you this is that I know for certain there are resources out there for you. I just don't know which ones are in your area. Here in PA there's a program called WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) and they supply much needed healthcare (including meds), food, and child support to those in need. They also can assist women who need shelter. I hope there is a state program where you are. You definately have my prayers and support here for your taper.

    Do you take meds for your other issues (bipolar, which you do not have to talk about if it makes you uncomfortable)? I am tapering an antidepressant because of the interactions it can cause during withdrawals. It would be best if you did everything in your power to remain stable in every other way possible while you taper. That being said, it worries me (and breaks my heart for you) to hear you say that you might have to do some unthinkable things to get the $$$ you need. Whatever IT is, you don't need it. Food, shelter, safety and support are what you need and where there's a will, there's a way. Look up local women's agencies under social services web sites. If this is overwhelming to you, get your therapist to help...that's what they're for!

    Kat is right in that your 25% drop from 3 mg would be to 2.25 mg. Do what's right for you. I just wanted to say that with all of the really hard and stressful situations you have going on in your life right now, I think you should be really gentle on yourself. You have the supply to go slower if need be. Like I said, I went from 3 to 2.50 mg and had to go back up a bit to 2.75 mg to get stable. I don't think I had been stable in a few drops at that point. After almost two weeks I knew I was feeling ok and knew I had done the right thing. I wouldn't have made it in the long run if I had kept up the 25% drops every 5 to 6 days that I had been doing. But that's me!

    Please take care of yourself. I'm so glad you're getting ready to get out of the living situation you're in as ANYTHING will be a step in the right direction from there...even a shelter. We all deserve to be safe and feel comfortable when we put our heads on our pillow at night.

    Team Taper...yup, that's us, jump on board! We're doing the same thing, letting the experience and support of these wonderful Friends guide us one day at a time. Stay put and be patient. We're not going anywhere and you would be helping us if you keep sharing this experience with us.

    Peace.
    Beth/grateful
    Last edited by Anonymous; 10-19-2014 at 07:48 PM. Reason: Typos
    Iwantoff2013 likes this.

  11. #41
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gratefulforfina View Post
    Hi BubbiesMommy,
    I wrote to you a bit a little while back on your original thread...glad you came here. Like we all said, you would, and did, find the support you so desparately need.

    First, I am very sorry for your situation. I wish there was some more tangible help you could find here but the emotional help is just as crucial...the rest will eventually work itself out.

    Second, you cannot do ANYTHING well if you're in WD. I read this whole thread and was thinking every single thing which was suggested to you...SLOW DOWN! I went 6mg to 5, to 5.25...hit a big wall at 4.25mg. I am at 2.50 mg but had to go to .25mg drops and only when feeling ok to do so. I just went two weeks before dropping this morning and I realized that after almost 3 years on Suboxone, every one to two weeks is ok with me. Trust Kat's experience...she is the reason I finally accepted it might be a longer taper than I first intended.

    I was a Community Health RN for a couple of years and worked with women in need. I now work with special needs children. My point in telling you this is that I know for certain there are resources out there for you. I just don't know which ones are in your area. Here in PA there's a program called WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) and they supply much needed healthcare (including meds), food, and child support to those in need. They also can assist women who need shelter. I hope there is a state program where you are. You definately have my prayers and support here for your taper.

    Do you take meds for your other issues (bipolar, which you do not have to talk about if it makes you uncomfortable)? I am tapering an antidepressant because of the interactions it can cause during withdrawals. It would be best if you did everything in your power to remain stable in every other way possible while you taper. That being said, it worries me (and breaks my heart for you) to hear you say that you might have to do some unthinkable things to get the $$$ you need. Whatever IT is, you don't need it. Food, shelter, safety and support are what you need and where there's a will, there's a way. Look up local women's agencies under social services web sites. If this is overwhelming to you, get your therapist to help...that's what they're for!

    Kat is right in that your 25% drop from 3 mg would be to 2.25 mg. Do what's right for you. I just wanted to say that with all of the really hard and stressful situations you have going on in your life right now, I think you should be really gentle on yourself. You have the supply to go slower if need be. Like I said, I went from 3 to 2.50 mg and had to go back up a bit to 2.75 mg to get stable. I don't think I had been stable in a few drops at that point. After almost two weeks I knew I was feeling ok and knew I had done the right thing. I wouldn't have made it in the long run if I had kept up the 25% drops every 5 to 6 days that I had been doing. But that's me!

    Please take care of yourself. I'm so glad you're getting ready to get out of the living situation you're in as ANYTHING will be a step in the right direction from there...even a shelter. We all deserve to be safe and feel comfortable when we put our heads on our pillow at night.

    Team Taper...yup, that's us, jump on board! We're doing the same thing, letting the experience and support of these wonderful Friends guide us one day at a time. Stay put and be patient. We're not going anywhere and you would be helping us if you keep sharing this experience with us.

    Peace.
    Beth/grateful
    Hi Beth. Thank you so much for reading abd answering. I really appreciate it. I'm in PA now. WIC can't help me I don't have my daughter. She was taken away from me last year by her addict father. I'm omw to a psych appt I'll check in with you later And I 've you more info. I'll let you know more. Thank you so much I really appreciate it. Ty xoxoxox

  12. #42
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    Hi Beth. I take Latuda and Vistaril now. 60mg of Latuda and 150mg Vistaril every day. I didn't have enough money to see the psych this morning. Hopefully I will this coming Monday. And for therapy too. My therapist just text me and said I should go inpt. I don't think I can right now, they'll yank me off the subs, say suck it up and get better plus I'll miss seeing my daughter. I can't do that to her. I've to move my stuff still too. That's a one day deal...moving. I found shelters online that aren't in.Philadelphia. I'm looking at Bucks County bc Montgomery county is no.good for either psych hospitals or shelters. I feel so stuck! Overwhelmed! This is way too much. I was just dx with bipolar in April of this year too, it's almost unmanageable the symptoms of it everyday, no.letting up!

  13. #43
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,537

    Default

    Hi there.
    You probably should go impatient..
    I was gonna suggest that..
    You will be safe ...you will have food..
    You will have guidance!

    You don't know that they will take you off the sub..
    Isn't that your goal anyway?
    They can keep you comforable.
    They can set you up with resources..
    Why do you take 150mg of visceral a day?

    Your daughter needs you well..

    Whatever that takes..

    If nothing changes nothing changes!

    Time away from her in treatment is time well spent..
    It will be a short time in the scheme of things..
    This chaos that you are living in ...is going to continue if you keep making all the decisions...
    Our best thinking got us Right Here!

    I get exhausted just reading about what you are going through..
    How in the hell will you succeed?

    You need some guidance from someone else who has either been where you are and or is living life on life's terms.. clean and sober!
    You have to have AA somewhere near you..

    Your daughter will be ok for a little time away from you especially when treatment can make such a huge difference in the rest of your life and your relationship with her..

    Please think about it..
    You are living in insanity!
    You may not be able to see how hard you are making this doing it this way!
    You are right it is not going to be painless but you have been asking for help and your text from the therapist was the best suggestion yet!

    The best gift you can give your daughter is to take care of yourself..

    Plus you will be setting up a paper trail in hopes of proving you can take care of your daughter when the time is right..
    Most likely they will need more than your word..

    Will check in later!
    Go Team taper!
    Bet/iluv2

  14. #44
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    I Wil think about it. Only after I've moved my abd my daughter's things. I can not lose anything else. If I miss seeing her I won't be allowed to see her. I was just recently allowed too from the past year. Going inpatient yes they will force me off sub right away. That spiral or wd is what I can't handle. Part of me wants to wait til I see her Halloween weekend, move my stuff then find a shelter. I'm ok for this week at my.mom's. This is insanity I know I won't get better staying there. Not at all but also can't risk them.taking her away again. Its killing me inside and her to be separated like this. I just feel stuck and helpless.

  15. #45
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,537

    Default

    You are doing so well on your own..
    My goal was not to make it worse..
    Take till Halloween you are safe this week..
    But you need support and help!
    This is freakin hard..
    In the best of circumstances it is hard!

    So you know your situation ..
    And you know that as long as we all do the right thing it will work out!
    I was just thinking compared to where you were going through treatment sounds like a vacation..
    A place to worry about only you !
    Ilu2

  16. #46
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    364

    Default

    Hi BubbiesMommy,
    I was thinking the same thing that lluv2 said...take the inpatient advice. But after reading your response I know this is not something you see as an option right now. I would never insist that you need to do something when I am not walking in your shoes.

    If my daughter were taken from me, I would lose my mind.
    You mentioned that your daughter's father is an addict. You'll need to stay one step closer to getting yourself well than he is so the courts will overturn that decision. The tendency is to keep a child with their mother when possible so lluv is right-on to tell you that the proof of action to get better is the best thing you can do.
    I know, easier said than done so just make good decisions one day at a time right now.

    Could you respond to your therapist's text and explain your fears. I can't believe that he/she would ignore the fact that you are in full blown crisis. There is an certain amount of liability to not respond to that...even if via the phone.

    Is your mom in a position to pay for one or two sessions...enough to have a professional help you see things clearly and come up with a plan that does work with what you are willing to do right now?

    Just throwing it out there that if all options fail, your mom won't let you stay after this week, your therapist won't respond to your crisis at hand...there's always the ER. They have social workers who would be able to get some direction for you. ANYTHING is better than going without those things I talked about in my last email.. ...food, safety, shelter. Please communicate to this therapist that you went without food and water for three days.

    You are falling through the cracks of an imperfect system but you are also responsible for making responsible and sound decisions. Your therapist should know that this isn't always possible when you're battling a duel diagnosis. STAY on your meds...tell him/her that you may not have access to them without assistance.

    Tell your mom that you want to be well and you want to be able to care for HER granddaughter. Does she know that her granddaughter's dad is an addict?

    Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY. At some point in your future it is totally possible and realistic that you will look back on this time and wonder (or thank God if you are a person of faith) how you ever made it through this time in your life.

    Please stay close to this forum since it sounds like the only guaranteed source of support you have right NOW.

    Beth/grateful
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  17. #47
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    Beth I understand. Idk if I can go inpatient. I've already lost my mind from being separated from her. I'd primary her whole life. Everyone knows he's an addict even the courts. No one cares. I miss her so much everyday. That's the main reason I'm here now. I lost completely everything after losing my daughter. Idk what else I can do besides move my stuff and go to a shelter. I can't miss her, if I do I'll never see her again, not anytime soon. I worked really hard to get to see her every couple weeks and call twice a week. I know you are all trying to help and have my best interests in mind. I do too very much so. Theses weren't issues a few weeks ago, this all changed suddenly and I'm falling apart bc of it. There's no worse feeling than having nowhere to go or call home. Thank you for all your help I really appreciate it a lot. I'll check in tomorrow here. Ty xoxox

  18. #48
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    So Calif
    Posts
    2,791

    Default

    My heart aches for you. I cannot imagine having my child taken from me. I would completely lose it. My world would go dark. I don't know how you've managed to find the strength to keep going, but you're obviously stronger than you think. I don't know if this has already been asked, but can you stay with your Mom for now? I mean, until you're able to get on your feet and get your own place? Are you close with your Mom? Does she know your living situation?

    Sorry for all the questions. I'm just worried about ya.

    Hugs,
    Kat
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  19. #49
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,537

    Default

    I am so sad for you..
    Kat had a good idea about staying with your mom..
    Is her house close to your daughter?
    You are nurse right ?
    If you can step out of the problem and consider what you would say to a pt to help them..
    It may give you some insight..
    It is so hard to see any options when we are right in the middle of something so devastating..

    You are strong and like someone said slipping through the cracks..
    If you aren't able to stay with your mom and you do go to a shelter that will most likely have resources close to your daughter..
    Do you have a social worker who is working with her dad and or you?
    I can't belief they wouldn't honor your effort to get better ...especially if he is a using addict..
    Are all these demands on you court ordered ?
    You deserve someone professional in your court... Fighting for you!
    I will check back later!
    Just try to live in the moment I know it sounds corny but it really is all any of us can do..
    Especially right now!

    God bless you , your mom and your daughter!
    Bet/ iluv2smile..

  20. #50
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    364

    Default

    Hi BubbiesMommy ,
    How are you today?

    We've all been quick to offer advice on your life issues but I haven't read anything about how your taper is going!

    Did you make that drop from 4 mg (I think you did!). If so, did it stick? You have to make sure you are making reasonable drops since you don't want to throw anything else off balance. We're all nurses here (!) so you know what I'm saying.

    Touch base when you can. I'm pulling for you.

    Beth/grateful

  21. #51
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    I'm on 3mg. I feel fine in that aspect. I can't stay with my mom she's a 1br apt there's no room. My aunt has 3 extra bedrooms but said no.bc of her dog. Idk what I think or feel half the time, I wonder how my daughter is. I've a lot of memory loss too recently. I'm not sure what else the court us aware of, we are at the hands of corruption, greed and power. I've even read the judge on our case isn't a qualified family court judge. Her father is actively using H. He was arrested this year in May, for H and public drunkenness, on probation, no jail time somehow. They have so much disposable money Its ridiculous. All I want is to feel better, get a ft job, start working towards my own place and see my daughter. I know none of that can happen without being better 100% now that I know what's wrong with me, how to deal, fight back etc. I'm living a nightmare, the worst nightmare I could think of. I'll try 2mg this Sunday or Monday. I don't think the hospital is a good move just bc I'll be stuck in there too and I won't be allowed to even call my daughter. If I mess that up even, they'll take her away again. Its all a game his mother plays for exercise of power and control. Its absolutely disgusting bc my daughter suffers no one else. Thank you all so much

  22. #52
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,537

    Default

    Hi
    I just want to tell you when I was in the hospital I could use the phone and the therapists work with patients
    To help the family reconcile..
    You have patient rights no matter what kind of hospital you are in..
    I know money helps when it comes to the court system..
    Does your daughter have a good relationship with her grandmother?(his mother)
    If you think they do then that could comfort you a little..
    Knowing she is safe and being well cared for..

    Do you think that by you getting clean and getting an apartment will be enough for them to recognize that
    You are doing what you are suppose to be doing?
    Is it going be enough for you to just tell them that?
    Sounds like they can be difficult..

    That is why I thought if you can start a paper trail of healthy actions you will have professionals on your side..
    Just a thought !
    You sound very strong and determined ...
    How old is your daughter?
    I am glad you are feeling ok physically!
    Take care
    Iluv2

  23. #53
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    364

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I'm on 3mg. I feel fine in that aspect. I can't stay with my mom she's a 1br apt there's no room. My aunt has 3 extra bedrooms but said no.bc of her dog. Idk what I think or feel half the time, I wonder how my daughter is. I've a lot of memory loss too recently. I'm not sure what else the court us aware of, we are at the hands of corruption, greed and power. I've even read the judge on our case isn't a qualified family court judge. Her father is actively using H. He was arrested this year in May, for H and public drunkenness, on probation, no jail time somehow. They have so much disposable money Its ridiculous. All I want is to feel better, get a ft job, start working towards my own place and see my daughter. I know none of that can happen without being better 100% now that I know what's wrong with me, how to deal, fight back etc. I'm living a nightmare, the worst nightmare I could think of. I'll try 2mg this Sunday or Monday. I don't think the hospital is a good move just bc I'll be stuck in there too and I won't be allowed to even call my daughter. If I mess that up even, they'll take her away again. Its all a game his mother plays for exercise of power and control. Its absolutely disgusting bc my daughter suffers no one else. Thank you all so much

    Thanks for the update. It's awesome that you're doing so well with this last drop. If you take your time and stay the course, there's no reason to think that your taper is one thing that you CAN handle and over which you DO have some control (note that I said "some"!).

    You have to hope and pray that something gives in the next week or two for you. Sometimes we have to be in so much pain before we are moved to make a change that otherwise we would resist making.

    If you were in a hospital setting (inpatient or out) you would still be able to reach out to your daughter. I'm not suggesting you commit yourself. Enough said by me about that though.

    I am just wondering, what difference does it make if your aunt has a dog? Is it the dog that has a problem with you coming there temporarily?
    Ok, I'm not making light of the situation, I just thought you might laugh...laughter helps us produce our natural endorphins...we're going to need as much of these as we can get!

    On a more serious note...
    Is difficulty with bipolar disorder the reason you're not able to work right now? I find that the busier I am, the less time I have to worry about what mg I'm taking or when my next drop will be, as well as other issues I have going on in my life. Even if you can work part-time. If not, there are so many things you can get out there and do for yourself. Go to a meeting or support group, make calls to friends who can/will be supportive of (and maybe help with) your situation.

    I don't mean to impose but I know I have gotten near paralyzed when things have been terribly difficult in my life.
    I did a search for supportive services for women in Bucks and Montgomery counties. Bucks Co has a program which sounds promising. All you need to do is google ' "A Woman's Place", Doylestown Bucks County'. Or 'Behavioral/Mental Health, Bucks county Pa' for other options as well, then click 'find services'.
    If you google 'Behavioral/Mental Health, Montgomery County Pa' and click on 'Catholic Social Services' (no, you don't have to be Catholic!) and then click on 'Find Services'...it will give you all the options for assistance you need to get started.
    The overall umbrella of assistance for both counties can be found under 'Network of Care', Supportive Services for Women in Montgomery (or type Bucks Co) County.

    Please consider taking a look. I know you came to this forum for Suboxone taper help but you have extenuating circumstances and these are going to make your transition off of Suboxone a difficult one (but by no means impossible!). I can't stand that you went 3 days without eating or that you think you might have to do "something unthinkable" to get money for therapy or medications. These problems will only make your situation worse, and more unbearable.

    Hope you check in soon. Take good care of yourself.
    Beth/grateful

  24. #54
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    I'll definitely look thank you. I hope I'm allowed in one of those places in bucks county or Montgomery I can't go to one in Philadelphia there's no way. I've to move that stuff before anything. I know I can't go back there . Nothing good will come of it. I do feel trapped. The taper is going as planned, I feel alright physically. I'm having a lot of anxiety surrounding the situation I'm mistaking this anxiety for withdrawal. If that makes sense. I promise to stick with the taper bc it's working. I'm ok with thus drop. I'll keep with it bc I have to. Any hospital will take me off regardless that's just how they work here sadly. I'll try my best Ty xoxox

  25. #55
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,537

    Default

    You are right when you said mistaking the anxiety for withdrawal..
    We have talked about wanting to blame everything that doesn't feel right on the withdrawal whether it is related or not.. Lol
    I hope all is well with you and you are finding some peace at your moms!
    Iluv2

  26. #56
    MrJones is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    61

    Default

    I know you're going through a terrible time in your life, so I thought I'd share a little inspirational message with you... I hope it helps.

    "You may write me down in history
    With your bitter, twisted lies,
    You may tread me in the very dirt
    But still, like dust, I'll rise."

    -Maya Angelou, Still I Rise
    Iwantoff2013 likes this.

  27. #57
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    That fits life perfect. This is the worst time of my life ever experienced. Being separated from my daughter is killing me. My mom asked me to come there on November 8th. I'm taking 2mg This week bc I can't measure Out .25mg I feel alright it's the depression bothering me badly, no withdrawal at all. I feel fine taking 2mg, and I'm sure I'll be alright at the next drop. After I go to my mom's I have to get a part time job to pay off fines so I get my DL back in this state. I also have to fix a mess of stuff...students loans, taxes, getting back to finish my BSN somehow bc all these places require it for a decent RN job. Working as a RN is the only way to get a car and apartment so I can get my daughter back. It's so far away, I'm struggling to even eat or sleep. Again there's nothing to drink here, He drank everything that was here from yesterday. There was milk, o.j. and water and from lady night he drank them all and didn't replace any of it. I'll check back later I'm going back to bed. Thank you

  28. #58
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    So Calif
    Posts
    2,791

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    That fits life perfect. This is the worst time of my life ever experienced. Being separated from my daughter is killing me. My mom asked me to come there on November 8th. I'm taking 2mg This week bc I can't measure Out .25mg I feel alright it's the depression bothering me badly, no withdrawal at all. I feel fine taking 2mg, and I'm sure I'll be alright at the next drop. After I go to my mom's I have to get a part time job to pay off fines so I get my DL back in this state. I also have to fix a mess of stuff...students loans, taxes, getting back to finish my BSN somehow bc all these places require it for a decent RN job. Working as a RN is the only way to get a car and apartment so I can get my daughter back. It's so far away, I'm struggling to even eat or sleep. Again there's nothing to drink here, He drank everything that was here from yesterday. There was milk, o.j. and water and from lady night he drank them all and didn't replace any of it. I'll check back later I'm going back to bed. Thank you
    I posted to you earlier but it vanished. Your "roommate" is a piece of work. Do both of you buy groceries or just him? I don't understand why he wants to be so nasty to you. What's the deal with the dog issue at your Mom's?

    Hope you're hanging in there.

    Kat

  29. #59
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    101

    Default

    The dog issue is my aunt's. My.mom said I can stay there temp til.I het back on.my feet. ,my roommate Idk.what he is besides crazy. I leave tomorrow. Move my stuff the 8th n I'm gone. I'm.fighting taking more sub. It's hard bcuz they're in front of me. I can work.at my mom's two.PT non RN.jobs. save money. Get a car etc. It'll be better once I leave no woke up feeling better today, oddly happy and hopeful almost positive. I'm.fighting not talking more sub. It's killing me. But it's getting better all around. I can feel it. Ty xoxoxox

  30. #60
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    So Calif
    Posts
    2,791

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    The dog issue is my aunt's. My.mom said I can stay there temp til.I het back on.my feet. ,my roommate Idk.what he is besides crazy. I leave tomorrow. Move my stuff the 8th n I'm gone. I'm.fighting taking more sub. It's hard bcuz they're in front of me. I can work.at my mom's two.PT non RN.jobs. save money. Get a car etc. It'll be better once I leave no woke up feeling better today, oddly happy and hopeful almost positive. I'm.fighting not talking more sub. It's killing me. But it's getting better all around. I can feel it. Ty xoxoxox
    I'm thrilled to hear that you're leaving and going to stay at your Mom's! That's wonderful. Now you don't have to deal with that idiot. I bet you'll feel so much more at peace once you get away from him.

    Fight the urge to take more Sub. It's not gonna do anything anyway. If you're stable at your current dose, taking more will just throw your taper off. Don't go there.

    Talk soon.
    Kat

Page 2 of 7 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Tapering subs
    By Ekky in forum Suboxone Treatment
    Replies: 81
    Last Post: 08-25-2016, 07:34 PM
  2. Introduction/ Tapering off subs
    By keltie67 in forum Suboxone Treatment
    Replies: 101
    Last Post: 01-20-2016, 10:44 AM
  3. I need Help tapering off subs. Please.
    By Todayistheday in forum Suboxone Treatment
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 10-30-2015, 12:11 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22