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I desperately need help tapering off subs
  1. #61
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    I am so glad things are working out!
    In a year or so this all will all be a memory and you will be so much stronger because of it!
    Your roomate does sound like a piece of work!
    That is a celebration in itself to be away from him!

    Life gets better when we are doing the right thing!
    You are living proof!
    Thank you !
    Iluv2

  2. #62
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    I'm not clear yet. He went on a tirade tn when I went outside to see a sober support friend who was helping me. I messed up and took 1,5 strips. Roommate tore me down to pieces. Said I don't deserve my daughter. That I've cheated on Him n.lied to him! I'm.not his girlfriend! By any means, strictly platonic. He saw I was happy n bright today then tore me apart verbally n by text for 4hrs. I gave in. I screwed up badly. Idk what to do now. I leave for my mom's tomorrow afternoon at 330. I'm do sorry, the guilt is immense. I'm so.sorry I broke.

  3. #63
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I'm not clear yet. He went on a tirade tn when I went outside to see a sober support friend who was helping me. I messed up and took 1,5 strips. Roommate tore me down to pieces. Said I don't deserve my daughter. That I've cheated on Him n.lied to him! I'm.not his girlfriend! By any means, strictly platonic. He saw I was happy n bright today then tore me apart verbally n by text for 4hrs. I gave in. I screwed up badly. Idk what to do now. I leave for my mom's tomorrow afternoon at 330. I'm do sorry, the guilt is immense. I'm so.sorry I broke.

    Hello Bubbles - OMG, you have SOOOO many things going on right now. You have to be one of the STRONGEST people I have ever heard of. I read through your entire thread and got so PI$$ED at the people in your life. The "roomate" is a complete MONSTER in my opinion, the judge sounds like a real loser, can't believe your aunt won't let you stay there because of a DOG??? And your daughter being taken away would send most people to the edge. You're really AMAZING and deserve nothing but peace and happiness in your life.

    You're getting tremendous advice and support from Kat, Bette, and the others. I would also like to offer any suggestions I can, but more importantly offer my support to you. I'm no doctor or counselor, just experienced in addiction, and subs. I do know that you have to FIRST take care of YOU, then worry about the rest afterwards.

    You mentioned recently quitting smoking and that alone could cause some symptoms. But jumping around with your sub dose will DEFINITELY have you feeling lousy and all over the place. You MUST get on a stable dose of subs, taken each day, at the SAME TIME each day. You need to get your system stable and steady on a dose before you ever think of reducing. I know you took more sub and that's really understandable, but try not to let that happen again if you can. Try putting the subs in a place out of sight, and out of easy, quick reach. Maybe in a back room or something like that so you have to make an effort to go and get them.

    Cut the films in HALVES with a pair of scissors. You can quite easily get to 1mg pieces, even .5 or .25mg if you're very careful. Maybe try 2mg or 3mg for now and STAY at that dose for several days to level your system out. Once you get on a steady dose you should begin to feel lots better. Then you can worry about reducing and there's plenty of hep here to help you. I will also if needed.

    That's the sub, the rest is a mess and you need to get out of that house, and away from that complete IDIOT as FAST as you possibly can. If you expect trouble when leaving call the police and ask them to be there to keep the peace. Beg your aunt if you have to just to get away from him.

    All the very best to you Bubbles. Wish I could be more help. I know everyone does. I honestly believe you WILL have that happiness you deserve. And you will be the STRONGER for it based on the things you have gone through with your held held high. Take care of YOU!!!

  4. #64
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    He sounds exactly like one of these people who's very insecure and cruel, and likes to tear down everyone around them to make themselves feel better. Who is he to say anything to you?! Don't even listen to his nonsense. To hell with what he says or thinks. Delete any texts and stay away. Block him from your phone.

    Sorry to hear you took more Sub, but you can get right back on track like Randy said. Don't beat yourself up about it. It happens. Let it go.

    I absolutely agree with Randy about having the police there while you're leaving. That is a GREAT idea. That way, he can't pull anything.

    Kat
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  5. #65
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    Thank you so much. I'm.leaving this afternoon at 330 while he's at work. I haven't slept in 3 days. Let alone eat. I'm not returning until the 8th when I get my stuff. I feel physically and mentally horrible from taking a strip. I'm going to wait til tomorrow to dose again at 3 or 2mg n.get back on track. I lost my willpower. My mom is going to hold them from now on. They cannot be in front 9f me. The therapist n psych gave me Clonidine to curb the jump withdrawal. I woke up happy and bright yesterday. As soon as he saw that he made every effort to destroy it and was successful bc I was weak and broke. Thank you so much for your support. There's 2 or 3 places I'm applying to part time jobs to tomorrow morning. My mom printed my resumes. They're low stress jobs, one a bakery and the other an organic co-op I can easily walk to. Old what I'd do without all of you. Thank you so much xoxox

  6. #66
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    He is that type of person. He's jealous when others have good relationships with their parents. He destroyed his then acts like a victim. He's put Mr down, ripped me apart all for his satisfaction and control. I'm so done with it and made that clear last night. He's obsessed. He talked to me like I'm.his second class girlfriend, and I'm not his girlfriend in any respect at all. Said I.abused and used him, lied to him, cheated on Him. I'm not his girlfriend! It's so insane how he behaves. Ugh good riddance!

  7. #67
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    I know you have mentioned you can not loose your stuff again and you are going back on the 8th to get your stuff..
    I think that was the situation..
    Anyway I am just happy you are getting out of there..
    Stuff can be replaced..
    I hope once you are away for a few days you will be able to relax and take care of yourself..

    That is the BEST gift you can give your daughter is to take care of yourself!

    Now you can do it in peace.
    Just forget him and if you insist on going back to get your things please take the police with you..

    I think a low key job is a great idea..
    It will Keep you busy while you are tapering..

    Yes You took more yesterday ok just move on..
    It happens..
    The sad part is when we do that it really doesn't do anything it just prolongs the agony..
    I agree with Randy and Kat you have to get stable on a dose..
    Whatever it ends up being..
    Just dose... give it to your mom and get on with your day!

    You are one strong woman!
    It may take a little while to get used to peace and quite at your moms!

    We can become addicted to insanity and don't know what to do when it is gone..

    You are a nurse you know all that drama is adrenaline producing and that in itself is addicting!

    Just something to think about!
    Especially if you begin to feel like something is missing!
    I will check back again!

    Congratulations!
    Bette
    Last edited by Anonymous; 10-30-2014 at 12:43 PM.
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  8. #68
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Good for you getting out today! I know once you're around positive people and in positive places like a new job will bring your entire attitude will change for the better. You need to be treated with love and respect, not beat down like this creep (I won't call him a man because he isn't one) has done.

    Make sure to block him from your phone as Kat suggested because he will probably be trying to get you back with lots of calls and text messages. As I mentioned earlier, don't be afraid to get the police involved if he tries anything really stupid. They will be happy to help you if needed.

    Good job getting mom to hang onto the subs. I know it's easy to take an extra piece when things get out of control. You're gonna be ok. Same amount of sub at the same times each day ok. I can't remember where you were at dose wise, but Kat can help you with that if needed.

    You haven't lost your willpower, it's just been put on hold for a bit. Once you're out of there it will come screaming back! Your very strong, extremely strong for dealing with all this. I am very proud of you for taking a stance and getting out. So many just remain in that kind of situation and it's really sad.

    Do something nice for yourself to celebrate this victory!!!!
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  9. #69
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    I am going to two part time job interviews today. Right up the street from my mom's. I can walk there easily. One is a co-op, the other a restaurant. I'm.hoping to work at both within the next few weeks. Maybe train sooner than that. I still feel fine like I don't need any.sub at all Bc I took so much before. I'll take 2mg to not starve my body of it. I did reward myself. I.hung out with a friend I.haven't seen in.forever bc he's in NJ pretty far away. Thank you all for your help, guidance, support and understanding. Ty xoxoxox
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  10. #70
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I am going to two part time job interviews today. Right up the street from my mom's. I can walk there easily. One is a co-op, the other a restaurant. I'm.hoping to work at both within the next few weeks. Maybe train sooner than that. I still feel fine like I don't need any.sub at all Bc I took so much before. I'll take 2mg to not starve my body of it. I did reward myself. I.hung out with a friend I.haven't seen in.forever bc he's in NJ pretty far away. Thank you all for your help, guidance, support and understanding. Ty xoxoxox
    Good luck with the job interviews! I really believe that not working is one of our biggest triggers because of all the free time we have. When I was out of work (many years ago) for a few months, I damn near went cuckoo. Not a good scenario, lol. Hope you get both!!

    Kat

  11. #71
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    Kat I got the job! I'll be cooking and stuff at an Italian restaurant I can walk to from my mom's. I start at 3 days per week.for now but it's cash n better than sitting around. I still don't feel the need to take any sub. Idk how long I should wait now. Wait til withdrawal? Or dose today? I took 2mg This morning and I'll stay at 2 until I'm off. Thanks a million xoxoxox

  12. #72
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    Kat I got the job! I'll be cooking and stuff at an Italian restaurant I can walk to from my mom's. I start at 3 days per week.for now but it's cash n better than sitting around. I still don't feel the need to take any sub. Idk how long I should wait now. Wait til withdrawal? Or dose today? I took 2mg This morning and I'll stay at 2 until I'm off. Thanks a million xoxoxox
    Congrats!! That's great news! Part time work is definitely better than no work. I cant remember how much Sub you took the other day. If you think you can stabilize again at 2mg, go for it. Or, if you want to re-induct that would be fine too. You'd have to take nothing for a few days and then follow Robert's induction plan, so it's up to you.

    Either way, we're here to help! Congrats again on the new job!
    Kat
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  13. #73
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    That's awesome news about the job!! It would be my suggestion to remain on the 2mg a while. If you took it this morning then wait until tomorrow morning and take another 2mg dose. Take it at the same time each day.

    With the new job it might be best to stay at one dose for a few days until things settle in a bit. When you get comfortable then you could make a dose reduction. That's my suggestion. You decide what's best and stick with it! Congrats again, I'm happy for you!

  14. #74
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    Thank you all so much. It's 3 days a week to.start. I took a full strip 2 days ago. I'll stay on 2 to stabilize a few more days then drop when I'm feeling stable. Tapering is gonna be hard starting a job but I have to get thru it. Its my only way to get independent and get my daughter back! Things are looking up yay

  15. #75
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    Thank you all so much. It's 3 days a week to.start. I took a full strip 2 days ago. I'll stay on 2 to stabilize a few more days then drop when I'm feeling stable. Tapering is gonna be hard starting a job but I have to get thru it. Its my only way to get independent and get my daughter back! Things are looking up yay
    I just want to be clear on how much sub you're taking. I thought you were taking 2mgs (milligrams) per day?

    I went back and read where you had the 8mg strips.

    You said above about taking a FULL STRIP 2 days ago. If that's all correct then you took 8mgs and not 2mg???

    Or do you have the 2mg film strips?

    Just making sure we have the facts correct.

  16. #76
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Nevermind my last post. I got confused.

  17. #77
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Congratulations on your job!

    Things are turning around for you and no one deserves it more than you!

    I am sure being busy will help make the taper easier!
    take care
    Bet

  18. #78
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    Thank you. Its a little stressful and taxing. I haven't worked in a year. I'm starting to feel like I don't need the sub. Past two days I woke up past my regular time and felt no withdrawal. Really weird bc my withdrawal starts in 24hrs exactly. I went almost 36hrs and felt nothing at all. Why is that? Thank you xoxoxox

  19. #79
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    It's probably from that 8mg you took. The half life is like this: on the second day you'd still have 4mg in your system, 3rd day-2mg; 4th day-1mg and so on. Since you were still taking 2mg, you had more Sub built up.

    I know it's always kinda stressful to start a new job, but after a week or so you'll start to get comfortable. Don't worry yourself!

    Kat

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    My last post didn't post. Idk.why. I'll check in tomorrow. Ty

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    I took 1mg today. I feel absolutely fine. No withdrawal signs at all. I'm.excited! That means I can halve it no.problem! I can be free in 2 weeks! I got some kpin and Clonidine from.the Dr to help with the final jump week just in case now that I'm.working. I didn't sleep well last night so I'm going to get up.early tomorrow and apply to obgyn and fertility offices! I stopped the Latuda. I feel.amazing off it. I think it was making me feel terrible, I doubt I have bipolar, rather.depression only bc I've never experienced a manic high episode! On the way to sober freedom! Yay team.taper! Ty all n.take care Xoxoxox
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  22. #82
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I took 1mg today. I feel absolutely fine. No withdrawal signs at all. I'm.excited! That means I can halve it no.problem! I can be free in 2 weeks! I got some kpin and Clonidine from.the Dr to help with the final jump week just in case now that I'm.working. I didn't sleep well last night so I'm going to get up.early tomorrow and apply to obgyn and fertility offices! I stopped the Latuda. I feel.amazing off it. I think it was making me feel terrible, I doubt I have bipolar, rather.depression only bc I've never experienced a manic high episode! On the way to sober freedom! Yay team.taper! Ty all n.take care Xoxoxox
    Hey there. You sound great and I'm so happy you're doing better now that you're away from the moron, lol. Just wanted to point something out, though. If today is your first day going from 2mg to 1mg, it's not surprising that you still feel fine. The half life from the 2mg is still holding you. If symptoms crop up, it usually doesn't happen until day 3 or 4 of a drop. You made a 50% drop. That's not recommended. I know you want this over, but the best way to taper off (and have minimal symptoms) is to follow the taper plan and only reduce by 25% at a time. I urge you to take another .5mg for a total of 1.5mg and stay there for at least 4-5 days. You won't regret following the plan. People who get in a rush almost always have problems all the way down.

    Think about it. I'll check back with you later.
    Kat

  23. #83
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    Ok I will. I didn't wake up in withdrawal. My body goes into wd in 24hrs. I know taking that full strip messed it up. And now that I'm working I'll be able to get my DL back in 2 months! That means I can look for a ft RN job n get my life back on track for my daughter. I do feel so much better taking less even tho my brain tells me to take more. I fight it hard. Ty n take care.
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  24. #84
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    I took 1mg today. I feel completely fine. I actually have more energy than ever. I'm.walking to work soon. I'm just gonna stay on the 1mg til Sunday then drop again. If I feel good there's no reason to take more. I totally understand your concerns but it's working for me. If I can drop to a half mg Sunday and be good I will for another week then either jump off or skip days. I'm ready for this and super motivated to be free. Go team taper! Xoxoxox

  25. #85
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I took 1mg today. I feel completely fine. I actually have more energy than ever. I'm.walking to work soon. I'm just gonna stay on the 1mg til Sunday then drop again. If I feel good there's no reason to take more. I totally understand your concerns but it's working for me. If I can drop to a half mg Sunday and be good I will for another week then either jump off or skip days. I'm ready for this and super motivated to be free. Go team taper! Xoxoxox
    Hun, I think you're setting yourself up for a fall. Like I said before, if symptoms crop up, it's usually on day 3 or 4 of a drop. But if you have your mind made up, I understand. I really hope this method works out for you.

    Talk to you soon. Have a good day.
    Kat

  26. #86
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Just wanted to say you go for it!
    I think because sub is such a mental drug and you have so many good things going on in your life
    You may be able to overcome the issues that may happen during the taper doing it your way!
    You sound like a different person today compared to a few weeks ago!
    Isn't it true sub is a less is more drug!
    Please keep posting you give hope to others just as it wasn't given to you!
    We need each other!
    Take care
    Iluv2

  27. #87
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Bette,

    Looks like we posted at the same exact time. How funny. I hope Bubbies takes both our advice into consideration and makes the decision that's right for her. I'm sure she will.

    Kat
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  28. #88
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    I'm gonna give the 1mg a try. I'll see how I feel. My body chemistry is so different than most ppl. Most drugs have.zero.affect on me. I'm game to keep going. I feel so much better than 2 weeks ago. I couldn't have done this without all of you supporting and helping me! Have a great night! Ty xoxoxox

  29. #89
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Wow you must have a super metabolism to have Most drugs not affect you..
    Does that mean even if they don't affect you you can still suffer the consequences from taking them?
    I hope everything turns great you've come along way..
    Since you are unique it is good that you are still posting so you can inspire others who have similar thoughts and issues!

    Is this day 3 or 4 for you on 1mg ?
    You will be done before you know it!
    Are you doing any of the suggestions on the Thomas Recipe!
    If so which ones are helping do you think?
    I just wondering about all this actually I am a little envious.
    I have struggled and it is frustrating..

    So you go girl!
    Take care
    Iluv
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-05-2014 at 01:22 AM.

  30. #90
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    I am not feeling anything but good. It's day 3 on 1mg. I have no withdrawal at all aside from some minor hotflashes. Maybe 3 or 4 random ones a day. I haven't needed anything from the Thomas recipe thus far. My legs are good, I walk pretty far to and from work. So that's decent exercise. Don't be envious, everyone is different. I have high drug tolerance bc there's substance abuse on both sides of my family. Even Rx drugs barely affect me. I got some Clonidine and a few kpins from my psych for the last week's just in case. So I.don't miss work or possible interviews after I.start looking next week for RN positions. I'll go down to .5 Sunday for a few days and start skipping. See how it goes! We all got this because we're ready for it and want it that badly! Only when one is ready to move forward and change they will! Go team taper! Ty for everything xoxoxox

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