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I desperately need help tapering off subs
  1. #121
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    Hi Beth! Thank you so much. I really appreciate the kind words and support! I do feel a lot better. Its day 3 of .375mg and the wd set in....I'm not sure if I.should take a .125mg piece and restart at .5mg again. I'm not trying to feel this bad especially at work, bc I can not take it. Thank you again so so much for helping me thru this. Most of the storm is over...its just taking baby steps towards goals now...one day at a time right? Go Team Taper! Xoxoxox
    Hey there. It's pretty common for symptoms to crop up on day 3 of a drop (because of the half-life). My advise would be to wait a couple days to see if you stabilize, which you probably will. If not, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

    Hang in there!
    Kat

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    Hi Kat. I took a .125 sliver and felt better. I'll restart at .375 again tomorrow morning for another week. I think it wasn't a full .375mg because some of the pieces were smaller than others. They are really hard to.cut correctly, the 8mg strips. It'll be ok Its only one day. Thank you a lot. Talk with you soon.
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    It's day 2 of .375mg and the wd started in pretty heavily. I'm not entirely sure why this is happening. My thoughts are the strips lost their potency from being open for so long maybe? I have my daughter this weekend so I went back up to .5mg. I waited a few hours before taking the .125mg sliver. I'm afraid to get stuck at .5mg and not being able to keep moving forward. Let me know what you all think. Thank you and take care.

  4. #124
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    It's day 2 of .375mg and the wd started in pretty heavily. I'm not entirely sure why this is happening. My thoughts are the strips lost their potency from being open for so long maybe? I have my daughter this weekend so I went back up to .5mg. I waited a few hours before taking the .125mg sliver. I'm afraid to get stuck at .5mg and not being able to keep moving forward. Let me know what you all think. Thank you and take care.
    Well, it's not the end of the world if you had to go back to .5mg. Get good and stable there before you drop again. Make sure to keep the pieces wrapped in foil and label them if necessary. Don't worry, you won't get stuck. Follow the taper and you'll be ok.

    Kat
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    Hi Kat. Yes, they are wrapped up. I'm a pretty logical person, it doesn't make sense why this is happening. I cut up another one for this week at .5 then I'll try .375 again. It was really bad. The wd came on like a storm and hit me all at once.... scary how powerful this junk is to the mind and body... I'm nervous about "not making it " in the end. Thank you again. Take care

  6. #126
    marshall1955 is offline Banned
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    I can relate,, I would wait til I got to the heeby jeeby sick stage n take one 8/2 nn wait til it hits again nkeep up stretching time intervals ,,, gotta replace stuff in body , stay hydrated bland foods like it or not, CLEANS system as an rn remember half life 101 n clean out body n mind....,,,, also get an ally to watch over you even if they dont really know, but get an ally and dont be afraid to dial 911
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-30-2014 at 08:36 PM. Reason: more 411

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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    It's day 2 of .375mg and the wd started in pretty heavily. I'm not entirely sure why this is happening. My thoughts are the strips lost their potency from being open for so long maybe? I have my daughter this weekend so I went back up to .5mg. I waited a few hours before taking the .125mg sliver. I'm afraid to get stuck at .5mg and not being able to keep moving forward. Let me know what you all think. Thank you and take care.

    You've had such a relatively smooth road with this taper. Isn't it funny how the mind of an addict thinks!
    Instead of thinking, "well, I was bound to feel SOME symptoms at SOME point!!! This is sooo doable!".......
    you're worried that you might not make it! Crazy thinking! You've come too far with too much success to let the "stinkin' thinkin' set in. Tell the self-defeating thoughts to take a hike and then do what you have to do. If that means staying at .5 mg for a bit to make is pure that you are GOOD and STABLE, so be it! If it means you have to add exercise or drink more water...so be it! If it means you have to just suck it up and bear it cause this wasn't ever meant to be easy (although you've made it seem that way so far), so be it! Know what I mean?

    It may be your addiction is looking to give it one last ditch effort to keep you on this ****! Not going to happen, right?!

    Hang tough, like you did in the beginning! Post often.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-01-2014 at 02:44 PM. Reason: Typo
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    Peace!
    Beth/grateful

    "Let our lives not be trapped by circumstances, and may love and redemption prevail"
    As shared by my good Friend, Kat!

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    Hi Beth. Thank you for the encouragement! I needed to read this. I am a little scared to be sick at work that's it really. I just don't want to mess up or anyone to know...I've been on .5 all week and im doing better. I'll try .375 again Saturday bc I'm off until Tuesday so if I get sick I have time to adjust. Yes the addict mind is a funny thing especially how it thinks and it tells me take more and more...it's a battle for sure but it us doable! Ty again xoxox. Go Team Taper!
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  9. #129
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    So it's day 4 again of .375mg and the wd started in again pretty badly. I'm not going back up again. I'll deal with it until it subsides. I might have a job offer relatively soon ft as a RN at a local inpt rehab. I've get off this junk bc if the drug test obviously. If I get the job I can start rebuilding life and that's exactly what I have to do for my daughter. Us being separated is bothering her terribly the more time goes on. I can't keep doing this to her. Recently her father got clean apparently he's on Vivitrol shots monthly after his last stint in jail and inpt rehab. I'm motivated to suck it up and keep going. My Dr gave me a good amount of Clonidine and Trazadone to help. Thus far it's been pretty bad, tolerable but bad. I know it can't be all easy so here goes...,
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  10. #130
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    So it's day 4 again of .375mg and the wd started in again pretty badly. I'm not going back up again. I'll deal with it until it subsides. I might have a job offer relatively soon ft as a RN at a local inpt rehab. I've get off this junk bc if the drug test obviously. If I get the job I can start rebuilding life and that's exactly what I have to do for my daughter. Us being separated is bothering her terribly the more time goes on. I can't keep doing this to her. Recently her father got clean apparently he's on Vivitrol shots monthly after his last stint in jail and inpt rehab. I'm motivated to suck it up and keep going. My Dr gave me a good amount of Clonidine and Trazadone to help. Thus far it's been pretty bad, tolerable but bad. I know it can't be all easy so here goes...,
    I'm sorry you're not feeling well. It's strange. You shouldn't be having so many WD symptoms, especially since you've been following the taper plan. Doesn't make a lot of sense. I hope you stay at 3.75 long enough to stabilize. Drop to .25mg from there. At that point, it's up to you whether to taper lower or go ahead and do skip days, then jump. Even if you're still having symptoms at the end, it won't be anything like going cold turkey. Don't worry. It may be uncomfortable, but nothing drastic. Most people who end up having symptoms after they jump off say that it only lasts for about a week and it's totally manageable.

    I'm so happy that you may have a full time nursing position coming. That's great news! You've come so far in a short period of time. I cannot wait until you announce that you've got your daughter back!!

    Kat
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    It really doesn't make any sense. It got a little better throughout the day until now. I'm alSo super sweaty all the time I'm not sure why. That's actually bothering me quite a bit. I'm going to go to .25mg in a day or so for a bit then do the skipping of days. Freedom is so close! Thank you for the kinds words and encouragement! I appreciate it very much.

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    The wd is even worse today. I couldn't get up for work. I'm pretty much dysfunctional right now. Idk why this is happening. I followed the taper exactly. I just hope it gets better not worse over the weekend. I'm losing a lot of money missing work. I feel stuck. Any info would be helpful. Thank you.

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    I just took a .125mg sliver like Robert plans say is possible. I mean the wd became severe. Liquid stools, shaking. Sweaty. Heart racing. No energy. Cramping gut. It all came on like a hurricane. I'm not sure why this keeps happening at .375mg. Today was day 5 on it. Before it started at day 3. I feel really stuck...this can't be in my urine if I get that interview, but I also can't be sick and not functioning either. I'm pretty upset and scared. Idk what to do here...Ty

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    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I just took a .125mg sliver like Robert plans say is possible. I mean the wd became severe. Liquid stools, shaking. Sweaty. Heart racing. No energy. Cramping gut. It all came on like a hurricane. I'm not sure why this keeps happening at .375mg. Today was day 5 on it. Before it started at day 3. I feel really stuck...this can't be in my urine if I get that interview, but I also can't be sick and not functioning either. I'm pretty upset and scared. Idk what to do here...Ty
    Hey hun. I really don't get why this is happening. It shouldn't be. Are you absolutely certain you're taking .375mg? You felt stable before you dropped to that dose, right? I'm kinda at a loss here. I would imagine the symptoms will clear up own their own. They can't last forever.

    I'll be back soon. Post again tonight if you see this.
    Kat

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    Hi Kat. Yes I'm absolutely sure it's .375mg. I took my time cutting up the strips. Its still really bad. I'm considering going to inpatient detox bc mentally I know my limits and I don't handle wd well at all after a few days. I can't keep upping the dose. I'm scared and feel stuck. Thank you for replying this evening.

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    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    Hi Kat. Yes I'm absolutely sure it's .375mg. I took my time cutting up the strips. Its still really bad. I'm considering going to inpatient detox bc mentally I know my limits and I don't handle wd well at all after a few days. I can't keep upping the dose. I'm scared and feel stuck. Thank you for replying this evening.
    Only you know what you can handle. I don't think inpatient detox is necessary at this point, but if you think it's best, then do what you need to do. How long would you be there?

    I'm really bummed for you. I don't understand why you're having WD. Let's see if Alex and Randy pop in...

    Hang in there, girl!
    Kat

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    Quote Originally Posted by Iwantoff2013 View Post
    Only you know what you can handle. I don't think inpatient detox is necessary at this point, but if you think it's best, then do what you need to do. How long would you be there?

    I'm really bummed for you. I don't understand why you're having WD. Let's see if Alex and Randy pop in...

    Hang in there, girl!
    Kat
    I have no idea what is going on. This is the third time I have tried to drop to .375mg and within 3 to 5 days some pretty heavy WD sets in. It makes 0 sense to me. I am getting really frustrated and scared. I said inpt because if this is going to keep happening or keep up I know what I cannot handle, and I cannot handle more than a few days of moderate to severe WD. Mild I can tolerate, but I have never exp mild with sbx, it has always been really bad compared to other DOCs... I really do appreciate all of your help and support, and I understand it is frustrating, very much so....

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    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I have no idea what is going on. This is the third time I have tried to drop to .375mg and within 3 to 5 days some pretty heavy WD sets in. It makes 0 sense to me. I am getting really frustrated and scared. I said inpt because if this is going to keep happening or keep up I know what I cannot handle, and I cannot handle more than a few days of moderate to severe WD. Mild I can tolerate, but I have never exp mild with sbx, it has always been really bad compared to other DOCs... I really do appreciate all of your help and support, and I understand it is frustrating, very much so....
    I wish I knew the answer. Have the symptoms lessened at all? Are they constant or do they come in waves? When exactly did this all start?

    One positive thing: you're on a VERY low dose. I'm sure this will turn around for you. It can't go on forever. Try to relax. Maybe a nice, hot bubble bath with some soft music?

    Hugs,
    Kat

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    They are not as bad after the sliver, but they are still hanging around. I am so baffled. Luckily yes a low dose, but it scares me to think what will happen after the jump... only reason why I am considering the inpt place... I missed work today bc of this, and depending how I feel in the morning... if I even sleep, which I did not last night for even an hour...I hope it turns around bc if I leave Monday I will miss Christmas with my daughter being inpt... I can try taking a shower I guess, but I am weak and have no energy. Figures my bad luck WITH EVERYTHING that this would happen....

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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    They are not as bad after the sliver, but they are still hanging around. I am so baffled. Luckily yes a low dose, but it scares me to think what will happen after the jump... only reason why I am considering the inpt place... I missed work today bc of this, and depending how I feel in the morning... if I even sleep, which I did not last night for even an hour...I hope it turns around bc if I leave Monday I will miss Christmas with my daughter being inpt... I can try taking a shower I guess, but I am weak and have no energy. Figures my bad luck WITH EVERYTHING that this would happen....
    I know you're scared and that's understandable, but ya gotta try to relax. Worrying yourself to death will only make things worse. There was a member a few months back who had been on Sub for about 3-4 years. He ran out of Sub during his taper and couldn't get more. I think he was down to about .5 or .75mg. He was terrified of what was gonna happen. Turns out, his WD was nothing like he expected. I remember he posted every day the first week after he jumped and kept saying that "he made it much worse in his head". We often build things up to the point of freaking ourselves out and that actually magnifies any symptoms we already have.

    I don't want to see you miss Christmas with your daughter. BELIEVE that this will pass. It has to.

    Do you have any sleep aids? Melatonin or any OTC meds? Do what you can to quiet your mind. Take that hot bath. Try not to fixate. We're here to help. This will pass..

    Kat

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    I really don't want to miss Christmas either, considering I did last year... her father didn't let me see her. I am so torn on what to do. Yes worrying will make it worse, but I am not sure how to get away from it either...the fear of what will happen. I hope it gets better. I see my daughter this weekend, and I have to start over from .5mg again I guess right because that is what I took today? I am trying my best not to concentrate on those feelings...they got worse today and were difficult to ignore. Maybe I should just jump now if I am already having wd symptoms? Would that make it worse? Or just get it over with? So many questions and fear of the unknown... I have Trazadone for sleep yes thankful for the Dr I see as she is doing her best to help me through the taper as much as she can. Thank you so much for the support and understanding, the guidance and encouragement .

  22. #142
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I really don't want to miss Christmas either, considering I did last year... her father didn't let me see her. I am so torn on what to do. Yes worrying will make it worse, but I am not sure how to get away from it either...the fear of what will happen. I hope it gets better. I see my daughter this weekend, and I have to start over from .5mg again I guess right because that is what I took today? I am trying my best not to concentrate on those feelings...they got worse today and were difficult to ignore. Maybe I should just jump now if I am already having wd symptoms? Would that make it worse? Or just get it over with? So many questions and fear of the unknown... I have Trazadone for sleep yes thankful for the Dr I see as she is doing her best to help me through the taper as much as she can. Thank you so much for the support and understanding, the guidance and encouragement .
    No, don't jump now. With Christmas coming, you don't want to put more on your plate. I promise, it's going to be ok. There have been others who experienced similar circumstances at the end but it ALWAYS passed.

    That's great that you have trazadone - take it and get some rest. When I'm feeling really anxious, I always make sure my room is nice and cozy before bed. I take a hot bath, use some scented lotion and climb right into bed. Sometimes I play meditation music from YouTube on low volume. Once I'm in bed, I try to quiet my mind and do deep breathing exercises. Long, deep breaths. If my mind wanders, I simply bring it back, gently. Try it. It's very soothing.

    Kat

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    OK, so then I restart at .5mg again or go back to .375mg? I will try a shower then try to rest, at this point I know I won't be up at 630 for work. I am so scared to lose that job, be sick....ugh I do need to chill out and relax. I am going to do my best, just lost my way I guess one could say. I will check back again tomorrow and see what I am supposed to do exactly. I really appreciate it a lot. Thank you so much.
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  24. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    OK, so then I restart at .5mg again or go back to .375mg? I will try a shower then try to rest, at this point I know I won't be up at 630 for work. I am so scared to lose that job, be sick....ugh I do need to chill out and relax. I am going to do my best, just lost my way I guess one could say. I will check back again tomorrow and see what I am supposed to do exactly. I really appreciate it a lot. Thank you so much.
    Ok, hun. Get some rest. It will come. Breathe.

    I'll check on you tomorrow and we'll figure things out from here...
    Kat

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    HI Kat. I was up most of the night even taking 100mg of Trazadone. I still feel bad, and I took a .5mg piece. Loose stools, shaky, sweaty, gut is cramped, no energy and weakness. I have to go food shopping and pick up my daughter for the weekend, how I will get through I have no idea... any ideas are helpful. I am seriously leaning towards the rehab bc of how bad I feel. Just don't want it to get so bad when I am alone that I get dehydrated or don't eat or shower or get really depressed ya know. Those are my fears... is that rational? Thank you and take care.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    HI Kat. I was up most of the night even taking 100mg of Trazadone. I still feel bad, and I took a .5mg piece. Loose stools, shaky, sweaty, gut is cramped, no energy and weakness. I have to go food shopping and pick up my daughter for the weekend, how I will get through I have no idea... any ideas are helpful. I am seriously leaning towards the rehab bc of how bad I feel. Just don't want it to get so bad when I am alone that I get dehydrated or don't eat or shower or get really depressed ya know. Those are my fears... is that rational? Thank you and take care.
    Well, it's hard to be "rational" when we're feeling WD symptoms. I do believe that we make it worse, though, by worrying and "what iffing" ourselves to death. I would recommend giving it another day or so. If nothing changes, I suppose you could stay at .5mg and go to inpatient after Christmas so you can be with your daughter this holiday.

    I was really hoping to hear you were feeling better. I'll check back soon. Gotta go grocery shopping.

    Hang in there my friend.
    Kat

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    So very true, it does wear on me mentally after a few days of WD. I am not getting depressed but worn out it takes a toll for sure. I am not sure how long I should wait.... especially with a job looming, which I know I am in no position to even do right now. I guess that has to wait as well.... this is really frustrating for me, I was doing so well and thus come to a roadblock... Thank you for the support. I will check in after I pick up my daughter. Take care.

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    Hi BubbiesMommy,
    I'm just catching up here so forgive me. I'm sooo sorry you've hit this wall.
    You've got to hang in there. I can't really add to what our friend Kat has said cause it's good, sound advice. Have you taken that bath? Stay in there for hours if you can (and if the hot water holds out!). Get yourself a cut of tea and do whatever make you feel most comfortable.

    I have a few thoughts/questions. I know you're a nurse too so you've probably got all these bases covered but sometimes the simple things get overlooked when you're feeling this bad.

    Have you been dosing from the same supply? I know there's no chance of you getting less than you are supposed to be unless you went from a higher Rx to a lower one (like if you were using 4 mg strips and started dosing with 2 mg strips but didn't know it). It happens...just happened in the reverse way to my friend and she ended up taking more than she thought she was taking for about the last month.

    Also, check your expiration dates. Any chance the supply you've been using is expired? It sounds like your Sub went from being completely effective and you were totally handling the taper well...then all of the sudden you are really, really sick???

    Have any other meds changed? I know you were taking other meds when you first came to this site and perhaps this reaction is from another med altogether. I know it seems unlikely but you have to consider all avenues. Especially when you're contemplating in-patient detox over Christmas and missing time with your little girl. Let's just make sure we cover your bases.

    Now let's think about your other options. Like Kat said, it doesn't seem like detox should be necessary. Hopefully, you can keep detox in the back of your mind as an option...maybe that would help you take it hour by hour if need be. Tell yourself that you will take whatever comfort measures you need to for right now and that if you don't feel any better, "there's always in-patient detox." But for now, you're not there.

    You could keep taking slivers and wait to see how much is needed to stabilize your symptoms. I know this isn't ideal with the prospect of a new job on the horizon but it's an option. You would have to let the cards fall where they may if you do this. I'm not sure how long Sub metabolites stay in your system and I also don't know how quickly you would encounter the drug testing if they offered you the job. There's lots of unknowns there.

    Think about the stories people have posted after jumping from higher doses than you are at now. Again, like Kat said, the worst of it should pass before Christmas even gets here. You WOULD be feeling well enough to have your daughter. You won't have her if you go to detox.
    This would mean posting often to get the support you will need to push through it. I know you are really scared about severe withdrawal, I get that and I would be too. I haven't experienced that but I think you have and that's why you say you can't get though this. But when you went through it before it was most likely CT. That's not what this is...these symptoms will pass as you stabilize. You WILL be dosing again, right. You hadn't decided to jump so each time you take your daily dose it will help you to feel better...eventually this will have to happen.
    Right guys? Correct me if I'm wrong.

    What about the comfort meds you have! Take a trazadone and try to rest. Better yet, how about Melatonin? Can you try some clonidine. If you combine several comfort measure at once (sleep aid, tea, bath, music) you may just be able to settle your mind. That would be the biggest help of all.

    You are one tough cookie! I have followed you since the beginning and have thought all along what an amazingly strong woman you are.
    You CAN get through this. Just give yourself the chance to overcome this before you sabotage yourself.
    Post hourly if you have to.
    We're here for you. You're here for me, right?!

    You haven't been on here since 12:30 today...hope to see a post soon so we know how you're doing.
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    Peace!
    Beth/grateful

    "Let our lives not be trapped by circumstances, and may love and redemption prevail"
    As shared by my good Friend, Kat!

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    Hi Beth, I was given Trazadone and Clonidine for at home. I have been using the same supply yes and no they are not expired. I wasn't able to use the computer earlier, my mom came home pretty early and kicks me off when she gets home.... I am hoping that inpt detox isn't necessary because of my daughter only. Otherwise I wouldn't mind it. Maybe they lose potency from being open for so long? Is that possible? I kept them wrapped up in their own wrapper and foil inside a container. When I went off before it was CT from either 8 or 16mg a day to just taking nothing and that was beyond hellish... I was in PAWS for 6+ months and went back on to just feel normal again. I will be around all night and I will keep posting. I took another sliver so I am at around .625mg and I am feeling better, but I am not sure what to do from here if I keep getting stuck at the same dose... and I take it the same time each morning when I awake between 630 and 830am each day. Thank you so much I really appreciate all of this help and support, it means the world to me and I wouldn't be here without any of you honestly. Talk with you all soon and take care.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    Hi Beth, I was given Trazadone and Clonidine for at home. I have been using the same supply yes and no they are not expired. I wasn't able to use the computer earlier, my mom came home pretty early and kicks me off when she gets home.... I am hoping that inpt detox isn't necessary because of my daughter only. Otherwise I wouldn't mind it. Maybe they lose potency from being open for so long? Is that possible? I kept them wrapped up in their own wrapper and foil inside a container. When I went off before it was CT from either 8 or 16mg a day to just taking nothing and that was beyond hellish... I was in PAWS for 6+ months and went back on to just feel normal again. I will be around all night and I will keep posting. I took another sliver so I am at around .625mg and I am feeling better, but I am not sure what to do from here if I keep getting stuck at the same dose... and I take it the same time each morning when I awake between 630 and 830am each day. Thank you so much I really appreciate all of this help and support, it means the world to me and I wouldn't be here without any of you honestly. Talk with you all soon and take care.
    Hi, I'm really glad you're feeling a little better. I really do believe you will continue to do so too!

    I keep mine in the same foil I open them from but now that I'm on 2mg strips, they don't sit around as long as when I was cutting 8 mg films into little pieces. I don't think they lose potency as long as they're in that foil and out of the light.

    I'm so glad you're feeling a little better. I really think you'll continue to do so, it may just be coming slower that you would like. Have you tried any of the comfort measures?

    I do remember now from your earlier thread that you shared about going through that terrible experience...you poor thing. It's no wonder you're so frightened by these symptoms but that will NOT happen again. You're doing this thing right this time and soooo many people have gotten off Subs before us. You've got to keep telling yourself that this is going to pass and then you'll be able to move forward again.

    I don't know if this will help but I found it really helpful...google an article by a Sub specialist named Dr. S*C*A*N*L*A*N (if I don't separate the letters his name gets deleted). It has a lot of science behind how and why he tapers his patients off Subs (I liked learning that part!) but you can skip around. Let me know what you think.

    Ive been at my dad's since I started this post and got side tracked caring for him. You may have posted since then so I'll reload your thread and see if you've given an update.
    Meanwhile, hang in there...you can do this!
    Peace!
    Beth/grateful

    "Let our lives not be trapped by circumstances, and may love and redemption prevail"
    As shared by my good Friend, Kat!

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