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I desperately need help tapering off subs
  1. #151
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    HI Beth, I just read the article. I tried to sleep and was unsuccessful even with the Trazadone. I read a few articles, and I feel even more torn now. I am just so scared of this, and I can't control it. The anxiety about jumping and feeling this way keep building. I am trying to talk myself out of it.... I did take a hot shower but was only able to stand for so long before I had to get out. I know it has to be partial acute WD because of the sweating, shaking, heart racing and hot flashes. I take the Clonidine every day sometimes 4x a day at 0.1mg and it helps with my heart racing and BP that is it. Actually I am pretty angry that I had to go back up AGAIN and restart over. I just want to be done with it. I might go inpt on Monday and just get it over with I am not sure... I did explain it to my daughter, and asked her what she thought (not directly, but about me being gone etc) and she was upset about it and cried. I feel so guilty on top of the guilt of years of abusing stuff, as well as the fact her father has been absent most of her life because of heavy drug abuse, jail, forced rehab etc...I took .5mg again today an hour or so ago, so we will see how I feel shortly. I am taking my daughter to a birthday party in an hour or so and then go food shopping because I didn't make it to get groceries yesterday I was too shaky to stand up that long in a store. Thank you and take care.

  2. #152
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    HI Beth, I just read the article. I tried to sleep and was unsuccessful even with the Trazadone. I read a few articles, and I feel even more torn now. I am just so scared of this, and I can't control it. The anxiety about jumping and feeling this way keep building. I am trying to talk myself out of it.... I did take a hot shower but was only able to stand for so long before I had to get out. I know it has to be partial acute WD because of the sweating, shaking, heart racing and hot flashes. I take the Clonidine every day sometimes 4x a day at 0.1mg and it helps with my heart racing and BP that is it. Actually I am pretty angry that I had to go back up AGAIN and restart over. I just want to be done with it. I might go inpt on Monday and just get it over with I am not sure... I did explain it to my daughter, and asked her what she thought (not directly, but about me being gone etc) and she was upset about it and cried. I feel so guilty on top of the guilt of years of abusing stuff, as well as the fact her father has been absent most of her life because of heavy drug abuse, jail, forced rehab etc...I took .5mg again today an hour or so ago, so we will see how I feel shortly. I am taking my daughter to a birthday party in an hour or so and then go food shopping because I didn't make it to get groceries yesterday I was too shaky to stand up that long in a store. Thank you and take care.

  3. #153
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    HI Beth, I just read the article. I tried to sleep and was unsuccessful even with the Trazadone. I read a few articles, and I feel even more torn now. I am just so scared of this, and I can't control it. The anxiety about jumping and feeling this way keep building. I am trying to talk myself out of it.... I did take a hot shower but was only able to stand for so long before I had to get out. I know it has to be partial acute WD because of the sweating, shaking, heart racing and hot flashes. I take the Clonidine every day sometimes 4x a day at 0.1mg and it helps with my heart racing and BP that is it. Actually I am pretty angry that I had to go back up AGAIN and restart over. I just want to be done with it. I might go inpt on Monday and just get it over with I am not sure... I did explain it to my daughter, and asked her what she thought (not directly, but about me being gone etc) and she was upset about it and cried. I feel so guilty on top of the guilt of years of abusing stuff, as well as the fact her father has been absent most of her life because of heavy drug abuse, jail, forced rehab etc...I took .5mg again today an hour or so ago, so we will see how I feel shortly. I am taking my daughter to a birthday party in an hour or so and then go food shopping because I didn't make it to get groceries yesterday I was too shaky to stand up that long in a store. Thank you and take care.
    It broke my heart that your daughter was so upset. If inpatient becomes necessary, can't you wait until after Christmas? After all, it's less than 2 weeks away.

    As far as the new nursing job, you may need to put that on hold for now - for the sake of getting this taper done and out of the way. Like you said, there's gonna be a drug test. If you jump too soon or are having symptoms, you're not gonna be very productive at a new job anyway. I'd hate to see that happen. Just a thought. What do you think?

    We're here for ya! Hang in there, hun.
    Kat

  4. #154
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    I agree about the job definitely. I guess I could wait until after Christmas. Should I keep taking.5mg? I'm not sure how to move forward past this point. I feel bad today not as bad as before. It's tearing me apart bc I'm not sure what to do.

  5. #155
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I agree about the job definitely. I guess I could wait until after Christmas. Should I keep taking.5mg? I'm not sure how to move forward past this point. I feel bad today not as bad as before. It's tearing me apart bc I'm not sure what to do.
    I would stay at .5mg for now since you took that amount yesterday too, right? Once you're stable again, we'll give .375 another shot. At some point, you'll have to get through this hurdle. You'll have to deal with whatever comes your way. It's the only way to get off this junk. I know you're scared and I completely understand. Whatever happens, just remember that you're at a very low dose. Even if you have to deal with some WD symptoms later or after you jump, it won't be anything like going cold turkey. It may be unpleasant and uncomfortable for a little while, but it WILL pass.

    Post often and let us know how you're doing. Big hugs...
    Kat
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  6. #156
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    I understand 100% and I'm going to do my best. I'll try again in a few days. Not sleeping is wearing on me too. Going on 4 days no sleep. I'm not sure why either. I feel overwhelmed and too emotional. I know it'll pass bc it us a low dose. That does help. Thank you.

  7. #157
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I understand 100% and I'm going to do my best. I'll try again in a few days. Not sleeping is wearing on me too. Going on 4 days no sleep. I'm not sure why either. I feel overwhelmed and too emotional. I know it'll pass bc it us a low dose. That does help. Thank you.
    No sleep at all in 4 days? Really? I don't get it. Can you take 2 trazadone tonight?

    Kat

  8. #158
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    I don't either. I've been taking 100mg. It worked wonders for weeks Then 4 days ago crazy insomnia. Something isn't right but I can't figure it out...frustrating!

  9. #159
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi RN
    You can go up to 3or 400mg trazadone..
    Sounds like a lot but not sleeping is awful..
    Hopefully that will pass because you are doing great..
    As a nurse you know insomnia even though it feels like it can kill you it can't..
    So take care and keep on keepin on!
    Team taper Go!
    Iluv2
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  10. #160
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    I won't have enough to last me to the next apt if I use that much. I guess I crashed and burned last night after so long I did sleep about 8 hours but the WD woke me up in a terrible way. Maybe my body is already starting to detox itself because of the low dose? My friend Andy said that....he did this on his own about 2 years ago from 24mg a day over about 6 months of a taper. He said some people start to detox below a mg and that WD sets in because the body and brain are used to high amounts and that the bupe is gone from the body within 24 hours. That is how it feels to me that I am getting rid of it in 24 hours not 72 only because the symptoms start within 24 hours... that never happened to me before either. Is there something I am doing that is making it worse? Caffeine, other Rx meds, not enough of something maybe I am not sure. Just wish this to be over and for it to go away. I don't mean in the immediate satisfaction way, but in the way of knowing what to expect even though no one knows what to expect. I am sort of rambling as I type just not thinking clearly.

  11. #161
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Bubbles - Sorry to hear about the problems you're experiencing. I like Kat's suggestion to stay at .50mg for a few days. That might make a huge difference even though you might not want to do that. If you continue reducing you can expect to have symptoms all the way most likely. Have to get real stable and feeling pretty good before trying it again. I agree with Kat's recommendations. Hope today gets better. I'll check back later.

    -Randy

  12. #162
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    HI Randy... thank you for the help and info. I don't really have a choice other than to stay at the same dose for a while. Just keep getting stuck and I am getting super frustrated with this. I know it doesn't come easy but I didn't realize this could creep on me like this and so severely either. I will keep posting and let you all know my progress. Again I thank everyone so much bc I wouldn't be here without this support. Take care everyone xoxo

  13. #163
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    Hi BubbiesMommy,
    Sorry I haven't been able to post regularly. Especially since you're struggling. I can't think of any better advice than what Kat and Randy are saying. It's your glitch and the only way to deal is to go thru it...can't get around it no matter what!

    How are you feeling now that you've stalled for a few days. Have the symptoms dissipated? That's great if they have cause you can hang for just a little longer to be sure you're nice and stable and then you'll be right back at it again.

    I reread your thread and I noticed that early on you were getting a few warnings to slow down..that big drops too quickly could come back to haunt you down the line.
    Hopefully if you slow down now, this won't continue as your pattern during low doses...you're sooo close. You will be free at some point in the NEAR future but you can't rush to put a date to it.

    Hope to hear a positive update soon. Continued well wishes.
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    Peace!
    Beth/grateful

    "Let our lives not be trapped by circumstances, and may love and redemption prevail"
    As shared by my good Friend, Kat!

  14. #164
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gratefulforfina View Post
    Hi BubbiesMommy,
    Sorry I haven't been able to post regularly. Especially since you're struggling. I can't think of any better advice than what Kat and Randy are saying. It's your glitch and the only way to deal is to go thru it...can't get around it no matter what!

    How are you feeling now that you've stalled for a few days. Have the symptoms dissipated? That's great if they have cause you can hang for just a little longer to be sure you're nice and stable and then you'll be right back at it again.

    I reread your thread and I noticed that early on you were getting a few warnings to slow down..that big drops too quickly could come back to haunt you down the line.
    Hopefully if you slow down now, this won't continue as your pattern during low doses...you're sooo close. You will be free at some point in the NEAR future but you can't rush to put a date to it.

    Hope to hear a positive update soon. Continued well wishes.
    Hi Kat, I took .5mg again today and the symptoms are still here. I did slow down before and only did 25% drops as the taper says to do. I have been on .5mg for almost a month now.... it is still moderate, it isn't as bad a few days ago but I am struggling with it. I didn't sleep again last night and I feel pretty bad today. The same symptoms are present as before. Hope it doesn't last much longer or continue the rest of the way, that would be too much to handle at this point as I am mentally wearing down fighting this all day every day. I will post again later on and let you know whats going on. I appreciate it very much, thank you and take care. TTYS

  15. #165
    hansma03 is offline New Member
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    Hi, all the wd symptoms u mentioned I too experinced and I used subs (8mg/3 tm daily) for over 5 yrs. Many around hear swear by the taper. I did not have that advantage, but along with fourm my dr said same thing, taper for as long as u can, don't drop to fast or u will feel the severe wd symptoms. I took my last dose on Thanksgiving day 2014 so Im at roughly 19 days since last dose and still have minor wd symptoms, but atleast managable. Sleeping more than 3 hrs a night does not happen yet but atleast i feel like going to gym which will hopefully help detox quicker. I still have minor depression, emotions r raw, still have bouts of chills. I have found hot showers, dry sauna, wet sauna all help much. I wish u best!!

  16. #166
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    Hi BubbiesMommy. I just wanted chime in here and offer my support! I have been reading through your thread and you have come so far and accomplished so much already! You are at the tail end of your taper and doing great. I understand how you are feeling. I just dropped from 1mg to. 75mg last week. Yesterday was the first day I was able to make it through at .75mg without any rescue doses. I usually wake up in the middle of the night with terrible restless legs and I take a sliver so I can go back to sleep. I have a 3 year old, a part-time job, and I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant so I can relate to your urgency in wanting to be done with subs asap! It has taken me 6 months to get from 3mg to where I'm at now. I was giving myself an entire month to stabilize at each dose which was working well for me. I am now in much more of a hurry because I'm pregnant and do not want to give birth while on subs. For me though, I need at least 2 weeks to feel stable on each dose even though I still feel like I'm rushing things. I have been on subs for 4 years straight now and my body tends to metabolize this stuff quickly! Anyways, I just want you to know that you are doing a good job and you've come so far already! Keep on going and don't get discouraged if it takes you longer to feel somewhat stable at each drop. You can do this! This too shall pass and we are all here for you. Keep your head up

  17. #167
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    Quote Originally Posted by rennie86 View Post
    Hi BubbiesMommy. I just wanted chime in here and offer my support! I have been reading through your thread and you have come so far and accomplished so much already! You are at the tail end of your taper and doing great. I understand how you are feeling. I just dropped from 1mg to. 75mg last week. Yesterday was the first day I was able to make it through at .75mg without any rescue doses. I usually wake up in the middle of the night with terrible restless legs and I take a sliver so I can go back to sleep. I have a 3 year old, a part-time job, and I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant so I can relate to your urgency in wanting to be done with subs asap! It has taken me 6 months to get from 3mg to where I'm at now. I was giving myself an entire month to stabilize at each dose which was working well for me. I am now in much more of a hurry because I'm pregnant and do not want to give birth while on subs. For me though, I need at least 2 weeks to feel stable on each dose even though I still feel like I'm rushing things. I have been on subs for 4 years straight now and my body tends to metabolize this stuff quickly! Anyways, I just want you to know that you are doing a good job and you've come so far already! Keep on going and don't get discouraged if it takes you longer to feel somewhat stable at each drop. You can do this! This too shall pass and we are all here for you. Keep your head up
    Thank you I appreciate the support. I am not sure what is happening, but I am probably going to detox soon in the next few days. I can't take feeling like this it has been almost 2 weeks and not getting better. If I am sick I might as well just go off it. I am missing work and just sitting at home miserable. Ill keep you all updated. That is really good and I am proud of you for doing this too!

  18. #168
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    Quote Originally Posted by hansma03 View Post
    Hi, all the wd symptoms u mentioned I too experinced and I used subs (8mg/3 tm daily) for over 5 yrs. Many around hear swear by the taper. I did not have that advantage, but along with fourm my dr said same thing, taper for as long as u can, don't drop to fast or u will feel the severe wd symptoms. I took my last dose on Thanksgiving day 2014 so Im at roughly 19 days since last dose and still have minor wd symptoms, but atleast managable. Sleeping more than 3 hrs a night does not happen yet but atleast i feel like going to gym which will hopefully help detox quicker. I still have minor depression, emotions r raw, still have bouts of chills. I have found hot showers, dry sauna, wet sauna all help much. I wish u best!!
    Thank you for the insight. What dose did you jump from? I just don't think I'm.capable of doing this alone and succeeding. I don't want to fail but being alone is proving very difficult for me. Thank you.

  19. #169
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    Jumped and made it 2 days before I gave in and took it. I know I'll have to go after Christmas day. I can't do this alone bc I'm terrified of being sick alone. The place I'm.going also offers weekly NA meetings once you leave. They put ppl on naltrexone too, any thoughts about it? I've read a lot about it and it seems to be a good option. The only reason I go back is to not be sick. No other reason. Wd is something I just can't handle anymore and I'm not sure why honestly. Thank you.

  20. #170
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    Jumped and made it 2 days before I gave in and took it. I know I'll have to go after Christmas day. I can't do this alone bc I'm terrified of being sick alone. The place I'm.going also offers weekly NA meetings once you leave. They put ppl on naltrexone too, any thoughts about it? I've read a lot about it and it seems to be a good option. The only reason I go back is to not be sick. No other reason. Wd is something I just can't handle anymore and I'm not sure why honestly. Thank you.
    Are you staying at your Mom's? Is there anyone else who can be with you through this? Friends?

    I'm sorry the jump didn't go well. How bad was the WD before you took more Sub? I don't know how beneficial Naltrexone is, but if you think it will work for you, try it.

    How ya doing now?
    Kat

  21. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iwantoff2013 View Post
    Are you staying at your Mom's? Is there anyone else who can be with you through this? Friends?

    I'm sorry the jump didn't go well. How bad was the WD before you took more Sub? I don't know how beneficial Naltrexone is, but if you think it will work for you, try it.

    How ya doing now?
    Kat
    Hi Kat, it was really bad, and I couldn't tolerate it after 2 days. I was so weak and couldn't stand up. I am going to detox either christmas night or the next day. This is not gonna happen on my own. I had to take a full mg to make it stop, so now I am even farther behind. I am going to take a half mg tomorrow and each day until I go. I feel ashamed and depressed, lonely and scared. I won't see my daughter next weekend either and I don't know how to explain it to her. It is either miss Christmas or the weekend. I waited for a ride to detox since Tuesday and no one showed up. I tried to jump twice this week and made it 2 days both times before giving in. I feel like the world's worst parent and person right now.

  22. #172
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    And yes I am at my moms house. She works during the day along with everyone else I know. I can't think of anyone who is home during the day, or who could take off.

  23. #173
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    Hi Kat, it was really bad, and I couldn't tolerate it after 2 days. I was so weak and couldn't stand up. I am going to detox either christmas night or the next day. This is not gonna happen on my own. I had to take a full mg to make it stop, so now I am even farther behind. I am going to take a half mg tomorrow and each day until I go. I feel ashamed and depressed, lonely and scared. I won't see my daughter next weekend either and I don't know how to explain it to her. It is either miss Christmas or the weekend. I waited for a ride to detox since Tuesday and no one showed up. I tried to jump twice this week and made it 2 days both times before giving in. I feel like the world's worst parent and person right now.
    I'm really sorry. Do you have to go on Christmas night? That blows. Will you get to see your daughter during the day? The whole situation with your daughter just breaks my heart. But after this you'll be better, for her. Once you're done with detox you can focus all your energy on the two of you.

    Is the detox expensive? Just curious. Hope to talk to you soon.
    Kst

  24. #174
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    This whole situation is out of hand. I am staying at half a mg. My daughter wants to see me Christmas and I have to pick her up the weekend following. I am getting a ride to detox this Sunday night after I see my daughter. I see her every other weekend, so hopefully I will be back before the next time I am scheduled to pick her up. Just feeling >>>>>> and depressed. The insurance I have will cover the detox for at least 2 weeks. Thank you and take care everyone.
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  25. #175
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    I am sorry you are going through this alone..
    You will be ok..
    Just take care of yourself right now
    That is the best long time gift you can give your daughter..
    You have come so far just a little further and you'll be done..
    Thank god you have insurance..
    I am sure they will take good care of you..
    Take care
    Iluv2
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  26. #176
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    I hope I am OK. The place I am going is where I was supposed to work; they prefer to hire recovered addicts Almost all their staff are recovered addicts, I just hope it doesn't hurt my chances for work. Being lonely sucks, not many ppl understand or know about this as I am the only addict in my family. I know getting clean is the best thing I can do for my daughter by far, but I am terrified of the detox. I know I have to do it, but it is scaring me to say the least. I appreciate your support, everyones support so much. I made it this far with all of your help and guidance. And you all go me through some really rough spots. Take care too and thanks again.
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  27. #177
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    Checking in on you...I think you said insurance would cover 2 weeks.
    I hope that when we hear from you again that you are feeling really well and ready to get living again.
    You're daughter is waiting right on the other side, Chloe.

    You are so strong. You have proven this during your time on this site.
    I admire you for being true to yourself and doing what you thought was what you needed to do.
    Trust in where you are and that will lead you to where you want to be.

    Please let us know how you're doing when you return. You've got many concerned friends here!
    Iwantoff2013 likes this.
    Peace!
    Beth/grateful

    "Let our lives not be trapped by circumstances, and may love and redemption prevail"
    As shared by my good Friend, Kat!

  28. #178
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    I'm really sorry. I got super frustrated with all of this. I jumped last Sunday. I'm.ok mentally but physically I'm not sure what's going on. I was ok most the week, really tired and crazy insomnia. Past 3 days I've been sweating and shaky. Really tired. I'm not sure what's going on now or what to expect. Thank you all for your support and encouraging words.

  29. #179
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbiesMommyRN View Post
    I'm really sorry. I got super frustrated with all of this. I jumped last Sunday. I'm.ok mentally but physically I'm not sure what's going on. I was ok most the week, really tired and crazy insomnia. Past 3 days I've been sweating and shaky. Really tired. I'm not sure what's going on now or what to expect. Thank you all for your support and encouraging words.
    Hi! Good to hear from you. So, you didn't go to detox? Maybe I misunderstood.

    I think it's great that you jumped and aren't having mental/emotional issues! The physical stuff will let up soon. You jumped from such a low dose so you should be getting better by the day. Are you treating the symptoms as best you can?

    We're here for you!
    Kat

  30. #180
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Also...

    You may want to see your doctor and ask for Clonodine or Gabapentin. They both help with WD symptoms. Clonidine is good for sweats/chills, shakiness and insomnia (makes you drowsy). Also, try Valerian or Melatonin 5mg for sleep. Both work great. GABA supplements work for anxiety, as does L-Theanine.

    Are you drinking lots of water?
    Kat

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