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Longtime Sub abuser, Gettin' my taper on...rapidly..
  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckeye13 View Post
    Thanks so much for the kind words....

    One word of mine...Determination...Nothing was going to stop me from this. Nothing.

    I had my worst WDs at the beginning of the taper when I went from 32mgs/day to 4mgs/day. I wouldn't change that for anything because I prepared my body quickly for what was to come. Discomfort isn't agony. Cronic Sub use is agony..

    As I've stated before, I did have a few things working in my favor...

    I have no body pain
    I had never snorted anything or used a needle
    I had never taken any substance more hardcore than Oxy's, and that was only on a rare occasion
    I'm 30, and healthy
    And most importantly, I was READY this time


    I know those things aren't a huge deal, but it could've been worse for me, and I realize that...
    _______________________________


    Another quick tidbit that I'm proud to share...

    I met with an old buddy of mine that is a Sub user. He has quit a few times before but has went back to the dark side (I never will)...

    Anyways, I gave him EVERYTHING that I had. Instead of flushing it down the toilet, I gave it to him. About 20 mins later he called me and couldn't believe how organized the stuff I gave him was. There were little 1" bags (Like zip-lock crack bags) that were labeled at incriments of .75mgs, .50mgs, .25mgs, .125mgs...

    Each bag still had atleast 5, and up to 12 or so pieces in each of them from when I made a drop and moved on to the next dose....Plus there was about 30-40 8mg strips, and a couple 2mg strips...

    He told me that he's amazed at how an addict could muscle up the mental and physical strength to do what I did and stick to it to the end. I said to him "Drugs.com dawg. Click on the Forums and get yourself clean"

    He told me he's going to log on when he gets back to work and start a taper plan. If you're reading this John, you are a man of your word. If not, enjoy my former Subs...


    -Buck
    Nice job Buck.....
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  2. #122
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Where art thou sleep?

    I do have to admit, although I haven't slept yet, I've been laying here in bed smiling about my new life and my near future...

    Thoughts of working out, getting in shape, getting in touch with old friends, hanging out with my brother (haven't done that forever) and many other things have me just laying here smiling...

    I'm not only awake right now literally, but I'm more importantly awake from a decade long zombie ride. I was driving down the highway at 110 MPH and I didn't care who got in my way. I was running them over to get what I "needed"

    Zombie no more, speed limit is now my new normal. And I love my new speed limit...


    Rambling, but I haven't slept do what evs..

    See y'all in a couple hours when I report to work. I'm sure that's when I'll feel like sleeping...

    -Buck

  3. #123
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Whatanight last night...

    Geesh...

    I did sleep from about 6:00 to about 7:45 this morning. Getting out of bed was, well let's just say it was a challenge...

    I've been awake for over an hour now the the cobwebs are starting to shake out...

    DAY 7 though, and other than last night, it has been extremely easier than I had anticipated. I don't know if it's because I was so determined and so damn head strong, or if the Withdrawal Ease truely is a miracle, or if I had it a little easier because I stuck to my taper plan and didn't cheat myself once, no matter how bad I felt throughout the process....Probably all of the above, but who knows...

    At 3:00 this afternoon, it will officially be 7 days clean...

    Whohoo!

    -Buck
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  4. #124
    Kikker is offline Advanced Member
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    howdy Buck....i agree with ya that the reasons u have made it thru this far without too much trouble is because of the very POSITIVE attitude u have had all the way to this point, and maybe a little help from the other things, and people offering support.

    i remember way back when u were on 24-32 mg's of sub and reduced that down to 16 mg's. then u went from that down to 4 mg's. i also remember me telling u that problems could most likely be headed ur way because of those huge drops in doses. i told u it could be done, but it would take a super-human effort on ur part, or something close to that.....well super human effort is what u did....

    i think u used my posts as "rocket fuel" or sort of a challenge at times. combine that with being as head strong and positive as u have been, u are now having the results u are seeing. yep, u beat them subs down BIG TIME my friend and showed ME and everyone else that it IS POSSIBLE to get off HUGE DOSES of sub in a rather short period of time.

    kudo's to u Buck! i truly believe any issues u may have from this point on will be thouroughly beaten back just like u have done in the past. there's NOTHING stopping u now, and each day just gets better and better.

    WOW...is all i can really say right now!
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  5. #125
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikker View Post
    howdy Buck....i agree with ya that the reasons u have made it thru this far without too much trouble is because of the very POSITIVE attitude u have had all the way to this point, and maybe a little help from the other things, and people offering support.

    i remember way back when u were on 24-32 mg's of sub and reduced that down to 16 mg's. then u went from that down to 4 mg's. i also remember me telling u that problems could most likely be headed ur way because of those huge drops in doses. i told u it could be done, but it would take a super-human effort on ur part, or something close to that.....well super human effort is what u did....

    i think u used my posts as "rocket fuel" or sort of a challenge at times. combine that with being as head strong and positive as u have been, u are now having the results u are seeing. yep, u beat them subs down BIG TIME my friend and showed ME and everyone else that it IS POSSIBLE to get off HUGE DOSES of sub in a rather short period of time.

    kudo's to u Buck! i truly believe any issues u may have from this point on will be thouroughly beaten back just like u have done in the past. there's NOTHING stopping u now, and each day just gets better and better.

    WOW...is all i can really say right now!
    Thanks for the kind words Kikk. Your post really were very benificial to my sucess. Remember, I was planning on jumping on Christmas and you talked me in to slowing my role and taperring to a much lower dose to eliminate my huuuuge half-life...

    Speaking of rocket fuel, I feel like I just injested some rocket fuel because prior to logging on here I just did 70 push-ups...

    It feels so good to get my heart rate up from something other than stressing about finding my next fix...

    It's great to be back. I'm alive!


    -Buck
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  6. #126
    HarrySmooth is offline Advanced Member
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    YOOOOO Buckeroo....
    AWESOME Job Bro! I am really Proud of ya Dude....Youve come a LONG way since you 1st came here havent you ol buddy?
    Really REALLY Great Job man!
    That sleep thing will work itself out dude....have you tried Melatonin yet?? I had the same Problems, still DO occasionally, and right before bedtime I have this lil "Ritual" I do...I go around and get everything I need to do, DONE...like making the coffee Pot, Checking all the Doors/windows making sure they are locked, Brush my teeth, turn down my bed, charge my cell phone, I mean EVERYTHING i have to do before bed and get it all done!
    Next I take my Melatonin, then go to the couch, lay down and watch TV until I am falling asleep...then I go STRAIGHT to bed! No Detours...STRAIGHT to the Bed! And 9 out of 10 times I'll go right to sleep!!!
    I know, I know...sounds kinda OCD, lol....but it Works for me!!! Even just brushing my teeth right before I go to bed will wake me up sufficiently to keep me from going to sleep!
    Hey, its just a thought but if it works for you....Then what the Heck right?

    Im SOOO Glad your doing so well though Buddy, you have no idea!!! Keep it up Buck!!!

    Your ol Pal Harry
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  7. #127
    alexnt is offline Platinum Member
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    Congrads on 1 week Buck im so happy for you. Im happy for your wife and your kids to. I can tell your a wonderful dad to your kids. Your still a young man with 2 small kids and another on the way. You have given your wife and kids such a wonderful gift by getting clean. None of us can predict the future but im sure your childrens lifes and futures changed so much for the better when you made your decision to get clean. Keep on keeping buddy ill catch ya later.
    Alex
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  8. #128
    Izzyperk10 is offline Junior Member
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    Hello buckeye. That was one thing I did not like about UC is we never got to play the buckeyes. These 2 schools will not schedule each other. I think the amount of times they have played could be counted on one hand. Hey buckeye, I have followed your post, your progress from day one. You inspired me bro. I told kikker how much these post help me. Well you Harry & kikker have been my biggest motivators. Thank you
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  9. #129
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Izzyperk10 View Post
    Hello buckeye. That was one thing I did not like about UC is we never got to play the buckeyes. These 2 schools will not schedule each other. I think the amount of times they have played could be counted on one hand. Hey buckeye, I have followed your post, your progress from day one. You inspired me bro. I told kikker how much these post help me. Well you Harry & kikker have been my biggest motivators. Thank you
    That just gave me goosebumps reading that my posts have inspired you...

    It's funny, because I was in survival mode and at the time I never even thought about anybody else reading my posts except for the peeps that I was chatting with...

    I'm glad it had impact on you. If it helps just 1 person get through their own issues, than that makes me feel even better than I already do about getting clean...

    Stay strong bro...I can tell you are READY to be done with this chapter in your life and you're ready to start a new chapter, or maybe evn a new book all together...Do it for yourself, and more importantly, do it for your little girl..

    I can tell you want this. It's game time bro..Jump Ball!


    -Buck



    As for my Buckeyes not scheduling the Bearcats. I personally think they were scared to before Matta got here due to the fact that Cincy was a better program, and for recruiting reasons. I was a big Bearcat fan during your era. If K-Mart doesn't go down, it's title time in Queen City. I also don't think the Bucks want to schedule them due to the back to back losses in the National Championship Game in the early 60's with the Big-O..

    I'm also a Yancy Gates fan. Dude's a baller and I wanted him in S&G but he stayed in the SE..How about that shot at Kenny Frease! Blasted him! Ef Xavier..

  10. #130
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Da da da day nine y'all!!!!!!!!


    -Buck

  11. #131
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    you rock buck!
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  12. #132
    EgoPunch is offline Banned
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    BUCK! I've been reading your posts, and it sounds like you're doing great, bro! I know i'm no father, or brother...but i'm proud of you, man. The sleep...suuuuxxxx, dude, I know. A buddy brought me some melatonin, and i've got some sleepy-time tea. Haven't tried it yet, but I heard it helps alot. Where did you get that withdrawal ease from?
    I'm so happy for you, dude. Hang in there. It sounds like you're kicking this thing in the taint pretty good.
    Sorry it's been a min since I posted. Weird times, bro...weird times. I'm still in it with u...just got...distracted. You see the light shining over the top of that hill yet?
    Well, i'm swayze.
    Peace, brother
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  13. #133
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by EgoPunch View Post
    BUCK! I've been reading your posts, and it sounds like you're doing great, bro! I know i'm no father, or brother...but i'm proud of you, man. The sleep...suuuuxxxx, dude, I know. A buddy brought me some melatonin, and i've got some sleepy-time tea. Haven't tried it yet, but I heard it helps alot. Where did you get that withdrawal ease from?
    I'm so happy for you, dude. Hang in there. It sounds like you're kicking this thing in the taint pretty good.
    Sorry it's been a min since I posted. Weird times, bro...weird times. I'm still in it with u...just got...distracted. You see the light shining over the top of that hill yet?
    Well, i'm swayze.
    Peace, brother
    Definetley see the light, definetley kicking this in the taint...

    I'm gonna hop over and read all the posts I missed from over the weekend before the forum marks them read...I report back as soon as my hands numb out. It's 29* here at work and our furnice is acting like it's going through WDs. It's slow going this 'morn...

    Day 12...

    -Buck

  14. #134
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    It's after 3:00 today, so that means 14 days...2 weeks clean!!!!



    -Buck

  15. #135
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Congratulations, Buckeye, from wolverine territory.
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  16. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by iloerose View Post
    Congratulations, Buckeye, from wolverine territory.
    Thanks Rose...

    I wish I could say I like that state up north...Can't do it! Never! Ever!
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  17. #137
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    who's thread we hijacking today?
    ok here's a weird thing.
    tapering on this cymbalta takes me to the horror i've always felt watching those on subs.......
    every nite i take just a few pellets out of a capsule. they are soooo tiny!
    they also jump around, like mexican jumping beans!
    there's over 500 pellets in one capsule and i'm down to 20......
    now granted i went from full capsule to half for two days down to 20 pellets....
    first bit was really tough, but ok now....
    i have three capsules left so i'll play it by ear.
    every time i try and catch those jumping pellets on the fly before they hit the floor i think about all those who have dealt w/subs and know i can do this!
    tapering is really really hard to do....i admire you guys.
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  18. #138
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowwally View Post
    who's thread we hijacking today?
    ok here's a weird thing.
    tapering on this cymbalta takes me to the horror i've always felt watching those on subs.......
    every nite i take just a few pellets out of a capsule. they are soooo tiny!
    they also jump around, like mexican jumping beans!
    there's over 500 pellets in one capsule and i'm down to 20......
    now granted i went from full capsule to half for two days down to 20 pellets....
    first bit was really tough, but ok now....
    i have three capsules left so i'll play it by ear.
    every time i try and catch those jumping pellets on the fly before they hit the floor i think about all those who have dealt w/subs and know i can do this!
    tapering is really really hard to do....i admire you guys.

    Have you ever tried taking the capsule apart over top of a paper plate? Or coffee filter or something?

    That would make too much sense right!


    Yea, you are right though. Taperring isn't easy but it's all about the right mindframe. If you want to get it done, you will...

    You've done this type of thing before, so I have confidence that you can do it again...

    You got this Dorthy!

    -Buck


    As for the thread hijacking, maybe we should take over Harry's thread today?? Sound good?

  19. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckeye13 View Post
    Have you ever tried taking the capsule apart over top of a paper plate? Or coffee filter or something?

    That would make too much sense right!


    Yea, you are right though. Taperring isn't easy but it's all about the right mindframe. If you want to get it done, you will...

    You've done this type of thing before, so I have confidence that you can do it again...

    You got this Dorthy!

    -Buck


    As for the thread hijacking, maybe we should take over Harry's thread today?? Sound good?
    they jump off the plate! not kidding! coffee filter....i drink cowboy coffee kiddo!
    sure, lets hijack harry @peace

  20. #140
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowwally View Post
    they jump off the plate! not kidding! coffee filter....i drink cowboy coffee kiddo!
    sure, lets hijack harry @peace
    Sounds good....

    As for the hijacking, I'm gonna grag some lunch, and then I'll be back to stir up some shizz...

    Ego's thread could be fun too....


    -Buck
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  21. #141
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    lil pup....
    15 days btw is awesome!

    #youcanplaywiththebigdogsnow
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  22. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowwally View Post
    lil pup....
    15 days btw is awesome!

    #youcanplaywiththebigdogsnow
    Thanks Dorth!

    15 days is great...but I'm still wet behind the ears...

    #PuppyLove

  23. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckeye13 View Post
    Thanks Dorth!

    15 days is great...but I'm still wet behind the ears...

    #PuppyLove
    you're welcome lil pup.....
    i'm seriously happy for you and your family...and dogs.
    very proud of you!

    #youcan'tbeatexperiencedwomen
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  24. #144
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowwally View Post
    #youcan'tbeatexperiencedwomen
    I can beat any woman I want to!

    And I will!

  25. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckeye13 View Post
    I can beat any woman I want to!

    And I will!
    You are dizzier than I am and i have the flu.....

    #keepondreaming
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  26. #146
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowwally View Post
    You are dizzier than I am and i have the flu.....

    #keepondreaming
    Gotcha...

    You don't mind the "I've got your bone right here" comment, but I over-stepped by potentially beating you...

    I'm glad we are setting our boundries in our relationship...

    Communication is key Dorthy...

    -Buck


    By the way, thanks for helping me through another work day today...

  27. #147
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowwally View Post
    you're welcome lil pup.....
    i'm seriously happy for you and your family...and dogs.
    very proud of you!

    #youcan'tbeatexperiencedwomen
    Thank you for the kind words...

  28. #148
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckeye13 View Post
    Gotcha...

    You don't mind the "I've got your bone right here" comment, but I over-stepped by potentially beating you...

    I'm glad we are setting our boundries in our relationship...

    Communication is key Dorthy...

    -Buck


    By the way, thanks for helping me through another work day today...
    Back at ya lil pup.....
    another day, another dollar and another day clean....where's my biscuit?

    #youcan'tbeatme
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  29. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowwally View Post
    Back at ya lil pup.....
    another day, another dollar and another day clean....where's my biscuit?

    #youcan'tbeatme
    How about a bone and 2 biscuits??

    Too far that time?

    #BanMeBeforeIGoPlatinum!

  30. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckeye13 View Post
    How about a bone and 2 biscuits??

    Too far that time?

    #BanMeBeforeIGoPlatinum!
    Three bones, two biscuits.....

    #takes2andwewillbebanned
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