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my feet left the edge
  1. #1
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    Default my feet left the edge

    sorry for being so dramatic, it's been 35 hours since my last dose of that hell driven devil juice suboxone, my last dose was under .33 I can't tell exactly but it was a crumb.
    so this will be my journal of how it's going as you might be able to tell I still got my sence of humour still, I now that won't last long but the first 24 was pretty good and today I fell minor aches a very small amount of anxiety but all in all ok. I've been able to cook lunch ( easy called Chinese food place came really fast) so dishes are done lol . I'll update as I go and thanks to all who's giving me kind words of support.

  2. #2
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    wow wife told me to take a super hot bath did that ever help alot, I think I'll be living in my bathroom this week.

  3. #3
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    does any know if it's safe to take clonidine and benadryl , cause I can't stop sneezing. I already had clonidine today.

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    7fourteen is offline Member
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    I have been taking Benadryl to try and sleep. It worked a out three nights in the middle of my jump. Today is day 17. Do not know about the clonidine. Hot baths or showers are a great relief. Drink lots of water and do as much exercise as you can. How long were you on the subs? What dosage were you on ? All those will make a difference. When I jumped at .25 the first two days were not that bad. Got a little rough but I never missed work. You can do this hang tough.

  5. #5
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    I did opiates for six years, March 8th last year I stoped opiates traded for subs, I gave my self a year to Chang my life.
    in the last two months I've went from 8mg to .33 and to be honest I found it easy till 2mg then the real fight started. but I'm doing surprisingly good so far compared to what I thought and read. last time I try ed to stop oxys I was rolling around on the ground of a cold bathroom thinking of ways to die. so as long as that doesn't happen again I'm going to solider on
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  6. #6
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    sounds cheesey but I downloaded one of those clean counter apps, I check it to much but I think it's helping, I just need to keep telling myself what's a week of suffering for a life time of freedom☺
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-29-2016 at 08:28 PM.
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  7. #7
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Ghost: It's not cheesy at all! Yup and keep telling yourself that: A week of meh for a lifetime! There are some supplements you can use to help you sleep:

    Try some melatonin (has to be dark and noise-free in the room)
    Sleepy time tea: STRONG
    DRINK WATER, Lots of water
    Stay away from energy drinks and choose fruit juices, eat as well as you can.

    Get exercise in the afternoon and tire your body out

    Watch the benadryl with the clonidine. Try adding some epsom salts to your hot bath, and take one right before bed time. Whatever you do, don't fight the insomnia. When your body gets to the point where it needs rest, you will rest.

    Stay Strong!

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  8. #8
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    I've been taking a mutual vitimin and l tether can't remember how to spell it and clonidine, it's so weird I lay down all the normal things start restlessness and body jolts but as soon as I stand up it goes away, I have that melatonin I try that and I'm going back in the bath for the third time

  9. #9
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Oh, yeah, the restless leg thing. Potassium: Gatorade may help a bit, tonic water because of the quinine and maybe hyland's restful leg. This is the hard part, that's for sure. Hot bath/Epsom salts. It'll go away in a few days. Very aggravating, but don't let it get you down. Yup as many baths as you need. Oh, yeah, and I've heard of people wrapping or just using the heating pad on their legs.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  10. #10
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    I've tried to sleep three time, took the melatonin, as soon as i stand up I'm ok so guess it's going to be a long night

  11. #11
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    while 3am and more awake then during the day, I forgot how hard this is. I took so many bath which felt great but I have no hot water left.
    I've drink at least 12 glass of water.

  12. #12
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Hey ghostrc,
    I can't sleep either. It's 4:22am in Canada and instead of trying to fight the sheets, I'm hanging out with my cat I got for valentines day, with t.v in the background and my laptop near by. I am happy to keep you company if it will help get you through the night.
    I know what you mean about lots of baths... maybe leave the water in and just add hot water as you go. Boil some in a kettle or on the stove and add it to the warm bath.
    Do you have heating bags?
    Any muscle relaxers? That helped ease my RLS but nothing better than a bath.
    Lots of breathing and walking around the house. Yoga stretching helped too... well I did do a lot of child's pose on my mat.
    Hope you've fallen to sleep by now! Stopping by to show some support!
    Love and Light xxoo
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  13. #13
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ghostrc View Post
    I did opiates for six years, March 8th last year I stoped opiates traded for subs, I gave my self a year to Chang my life.
    in the last two months I've went from 8mg to .33 and to be honest I found it easy till 2mg then the real fight started. but I'm doing surprisingly good so far compared to what I thought and read. last time I try ed to stop oxys I was rolling around on the ground of a cold bathroom thinking of ways to die. so as long as that doesn't happen again I'm going to solider on
    Clonodine really helped my detox this time around but I only was on it for 5 days and weaned off each day. It helped me sleep, made me feel groggy during the day and really dizzy when I sat up too quickly but it really did help me through it.
    Congrats on making a decision to get your life back!
    Love and light xxoo

  14. #14
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    hey I fell asleep for 2 hours guess it's better then nothing, wow I really forgot how much this sucks at least I'm at 48 hours now . but I know tonight will be much the same or worse. and yes I do have heating bags they seem to help for about ten mins then I'm um again I guess i should be thankful I got some sleep . sorry for not getting back to you.

  15. #15
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    I'm very emotional today I know it's part of it, last night after my 550 th bath I think the clonidine and melatonin finnally kick in. I ended up on the couch ( I have a l shaped cough ) set up a table by my feet and slept sitting up seemed to be the only way I could sleep
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  16. #16
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    why is it during the day isnt anywhere near as bad as night, i wonder if its the metal part of knowing your not going to sleep that leads to panic which leads to muscles being tense, who knows tick tock tick tock come on friday you seem like a month away

  17. #17
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    well its 1pm still going my body as this weird hot or burn feeling, I passed out on the couch for a half a hour so that's a bonus. tick tock goes the slowest stupid clock

  18. #18
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    back again sorry helps ease my mind had another question I've been taking clonidine at night but during the day my heart hurts or my chest should I be taking in the morning too ? oh and I'm on the lowest dose 0.1mgs

  19. #19
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    I took the clonodine as prescribed to me, 4 times a day the first 2 days, 3 times a day on the 3rd day, 2 times a day on the 4th day and 1 time a day on the 5th day.
    It will help you with the anxiety and sleep issues. Did you get it from a doctor?
    How many do you have?
    I know for me, it made a huge difference this time around. I was groggy and tired but it was better than anxious and restless.
    You're doing great. 48 hours plus... it won't get much worse and then it will get so much better.
    Stay hydrated and eat what you can. I lived on smoothies for the first week.
    DO you have anyone that can help you in your house?
    Tell us more about you if you feel open to that. Talking about who you are, who you hope to be, what triggers you. Stay distracted from the symptoms?
    Ryan Donnelly has some great YouTube that helped me pass the time about addiction.
    Hang in there, I'll be back to check in!
    Love and light xxoo
    Kim

  20. #20
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    ya a doc gave it to me a long time ago I just read the bottle it's says morning and night as needed so I'll go take one now, I live in canada when I stopped using I lost everyone of my so called friends, I used to be in a band (drummer ) best times of my life. then I had a coke problem my weight got down to 115 pounds so I borrowed a car and me and a buddy moved out west best times got clean worked hard. stuff happened with a chick I moved home and found oxytocin the girl I'm with is on it the girl I've been with for 6 years. she keeps it under lock and key and she doesn't have a problem she always has extra each month and brings them back. so for triggers my whole life everyday was a trigger then one day I said I hate who I am and got help at a treatment center, went through with flying colors after detox I thought I'm fixed screw the rest of this program I'm going home. biggest mistake of my life when I got home I was cleaning and found a 80mg not even ten seconds boom up the nose , to shorten this story fast forward a bit a clinic opened in our town went and have been clean for a year just suboxone, now a year later in 8 days I'm off subs while that's the plan

  21. #21
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    I understand the struggle. It's life long, but not a sentence. You've learned a lot I assume and can help others when you begin to get better. That is the best gift you can. the gift of support and encouragement of what has helped you so that these guilts we carry can at least go to good use by helping others.
    I am also in Canada. Born in Ontario, family moved out to NB when I was young, then I moved back and then back out East and here I am back in my hometown. It is difficult to go back to the friends we fell apart with. My husband and I also had issues with other drugs but we got through it together and had 2 wonderful children and are making the most out of life.
    My relapse was finding a pill as well, although during this addiction I have only stayed with my perc prescription, it doesn't make it any better. Still have that thinking disease where my brain is my own worst enemy. Must work hard on the mental part throughout life. Come to terms that this will be a part of me and not a cloud over my head.
    I've never known anyone on subs but methadone is really popular with addiction here. My friend was on it for 10 years for a perc addiction and she wondered why doctors would let that happen to her. She doesn't trust them anymore because it should have been something they helped her wean off, not keep on.
    I'll be seeing a natural path soon to get some blood tests and see what I am lacking, to make up in natural solutions instead of chemical.
    Although as addicts our stories are similar, we all have different and unique paths. Enjoy your journey. It's the only one you'll get this life time.
    Sending healing love to you my Canadian friend!

  22. #22
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    thank you, it's so weird looking back eh, your kind words help alot. I'm trying to stay busy today like I said days are easier for me then nights and I love coffee which isn't helping me but one thing at a time. did you guys get a boat load of snow where you are?

  23. #23
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    We were suppose to have a storm but haven't seen much yet. Maybe by tonight?
    The maritimes did get a boat load last year but this year has been thankfully mild. I did use the opportunity to shovel when I was detoxing. Exercise REALLY helps! Even when I didn't feel like it. I tricked myself into JUSt doing 5 mins and then ended up doing 15 to 20 mins. HUGE DIFFERENCE.
    Try walking around, then sits ups or something. Get the blood pumping and the endorphins going.
    Are you still out west? I have friends that moved there too. What do you do for work if you don't mind me asking?
    I love coffee too but I do not find it effects my sleep. I also don't drink any past 4pm mostly.
    I used a lot of sleepy time tea. Still do. Need to go buy more tonight.
    Loved the warm water in a mug Can you get some of that?
    For me, over the counter medication like NyQuil did NOT work. Opposite effect. Made me feel gross and tweaked. Did use muscle relaxers and Hylands restful legs.
    Also muti vitamin, vitamin B complex, l-tyrosine, vitamin D and omega 3's.
    Lived on smoothies and bananas.
    I remember my first meal being swiss chalet.
    What have you been eating?

  24. #24
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    no I'm back in my home town near ottawa, I'm kinda lucky I work construction and get layed off each winter so I'm using this opportunity to the fullest I go back around March 20 or so, not alot of time left I think that's why I'm so anxious. we haven't got alot either snow wise been pretty good winter and I am using almost all those things you said. I must be honest I'm having a rough time exercising I seem to just pace around cause my feet feel like ice

  25. #25
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    55.5 hours so far longest time of my life but in a odd weird way when I look back will be the first day of the rest of my life

  26. #26
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Ottawa did get a lot of snow this year. I was visiting last weekend and al the snow was water and I had wet and cold feet all weekend.
    Great place though!
    Lie on your back and do the bicycle motion maybe? Get that blood circulating. I had cold hands and I thought it was form the clonodine.
    Clonodine made me not want to exercise either so maybe when it wears off you can walk around some more, fold laundry or get outside. Nature is the best medicine. 2 minutes of fresh air is better then being cooped up in the house.
    So no support group there? Family, friends?
    Have you considered an AA/NA meeting when you are feeling better?
    Made a world of difference for me! So warm and supportive. The hardest part is walking through the doors.
    I sat outside many meeting places for days before I went in. Nothing to fear but fear itself.
    for me the detox is the easy part... but having a support system makes the difference. This forum is great, but not enough to stay clean forever. It will get you through things but we can't really give you a hug the way we need to be hugged at times.
    Time to get the kids from school!
    Hang in there!

  27. #27
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    true I'm here now no going back. frig this sucks

  28. #28
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    59.5 hours can't wait till that's doubled I hate night time I'm panicking a bit

  29. #29
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    holy cow I feel wierd I feel like my legs are been electrocuted and someone's controlling me with strings as soon as get comfortable yank goes my arm yank goes my legs

  30. #30
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    You're doing great! Closing Day 3? Is that right? Kim is right--take the Immodium. It will get the bathroom issues under control nicely and at least that'll be one less symptom you'll have to deal with. Are you drinking plenty of water? The leg/arm thing for me was the worst! I could even deal with the little to no sleep if only I had been able to be still. It's worth trying Hyland's Restless Leg that you can find at any pharmacy or grocery store in the vitamin section. Hot baths/showers and heating pads set on low.

    I know you're determined and that's good. I hope you're able to catch a few winks tonight. If not, take a hot bath, put some comfortable clothes on and cue up some old movies. One minute at a time. You said it yourself, you've come too far to do anything but push through.

    Peace,

    Cat

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