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my story.. (i guess?)
  1. #1
    eazzye is offline Member
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    Default my story.. (i guess?)

    hi everyone,

    i’m new to this website, but i saw so many supportive people helping one another i had to join.

    my story: i’m 26, and have abused opiates since i first found a bottle of percocets in our medicine cabinet (around 14), they literally made me feel like i was on the moon. no troubles, no problems, i could just forget about everything and relax.
    as the years went by, i guess you could say i “graduated” into harder opiates - morphine, roxys, stuff of that nature. (only used them nasally) which i guess is why i never moved on to the main attraction most people get addicted to.

    at my worst point, i was using about 4-5 r’s a day, and one day decided that enough is enough, told my parents, and came off of them cold turkey. (around age 23)
    yes the night sweats were horrible, the nausea was bad, but it all passed in about a week and i THOUGHT i had my life back.

    now mind you, i am prescribed adderall for my adhd and klonopin for my anxiety which may have helped in some way... but now on to the real issue..

    i found suboxone.

    i don’t exactly remember how and i don’t even remember why i decided to take it, i’m pretty sure someone told me “it’s not a pain medicine, so you won’t get addicted” or something along those lines.. well a year and a half later and i was addicted. i could not function without it, and i hold a very well paying job.

    well two days ago, i decided enough is enough and i won’t be ruled by this disgusting tasting medication any longer, and flushed the last pieces i had, (i had tapered myself down to about a .5 a day) and i took the jump.

    it’s now day 3, and the night sweats have started, as well as a few other stomach issues (i’m sure y’all know), and i’m having intense cravings to go back to it but i refuse to, i will not let that little orange strip rule my life any longer.

    thank god i have my other medications (klonopin and adderall) or i fear i would lose my job because apparently this is just the beginning of the withdrawals. i go back to work tomorrow and thankfully the shifts aren’t too long this week.

    how long does this last? will i be able to work? i’m scared i’m going to lose my job that i worked so hard for. help, please!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-27-2017 at 02:34 PM.
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  2. #2
    eazzye is offline Member
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    also - i know that it seriously helps some people and i’m not trying to knock the medication for them, i simply didn’t need it and took it anyway. looking back now i would have done things so different.. i mean i was clean for almost two years! i’m full of regret and shame. i want to be better for the new year, and in general.
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  3. #3
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello eazzye welcome to the forum. Congratulations on making the jump. This too shall pass. Have you looked into getting face to face support Na AA thearpy counseling? As addicts we can not do this alone. We have a Diease. Meetings will give you the tools to deal with life clean and hold you accountable. The drugs are a symptom of our diease obsseion and compulsion we always want more, more of everything. Regret and shame know it well, lived it. No sense to beat yourself up it's in the past can't change it but you can change what you do today. You have to really want this for yourself. Keep reading and posting we are all here to support you...
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  4. #4
    eazzye is offline Member
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    i have considered it, yes. but my anxiety prevents me from doing so. i know the people there have the same issues that i have, but i’m still so scared to be judged. i keep telling myself i can do this.

    it’s day 3, when will the worst w/d’s peak? the only thing getting me through the day is my adderall, while my klonopin is helping with the rls and sleep in general. i just want to move past this.

  5. #5
    ElleNAZ is offline New Member
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    After a year and a half you will have withdrawal. I was on it for much shorter and this was my medicine chest for coping:

    I took a half of a .1 Clonidine tablet as needed to control the sweats and anxiety. I did not take more than two half tablets a day as it can lower blood pressure and result in rebound hypertension - something I already experienced. Two full Clonidine tablets at .1mg tanked my already low blood pressure to 71/50. Cutting back made it soar to 180/110 and the paramedics were called by my PT. So I am very stingy with the tablets.

    I took one tablet of methocarbamol (Robaxin) for muscle spasms per day. Taken before bed, it helped lead me into sleep.

    I took 8mg of Zofran (2 tablets) while nauseous.

    I took Bentyl for abdominal cramping.

    I took Advil or Ibuprofen daily for the muscle pain, which may very easily have been leftover pain from the Oxy withdrawal.

    I took mega doses of vitamin C (20mg 3 X day) to keep my bowels moving and to have that energy. You piss the rest away.

    Of course, you will need more than I took. Just look at the medication itself.

    Had I had Neurontin earlier I may have been able to avoid the muscle and joint pain. Neurontin and Clonidine are the best friends of opiate detox.

    Stay hydrated. Make sure you are getting your minerals because it contributes to muscle cramping when you are potassium deficient. I ate one or two bananas per day in addition to my multi-vitamin.

    Remember that your body is going through turmoil, but your brain is what needs to be cared for. Give it nutrients. Give it happy things to think about. Give it a rest in a dark, quiet room.

    I know how you are suffering. I hope these medications can help you. Please don't fall into the foolishness of Kratom or Immodium.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-27-2017 at 05:06 PM.

  6. #6
    eazzye is offline Member
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    so far all i have been taking is a natural “detoxifying supplement” and multi-vitamins in the hopes that will speed up the process. i am staying hydrated, but eating is something i find quite challenging. no imodium or anything for me yet, just what i mentioned and my adderall during the day and klonopin twice a day, as prescribed.

  7. #7
    ElleNAZ is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by eazzye View Post
    i have considered it, yes. but my anxiety prevents me from doing so. i know the people there have the same issues that i have, but i’m still so scared to be judged. i keep telling myself i can do this.

    it’s day 3, when will the worst w/d’s peak? the only thing getting me through the day is my adderall, while my klonopin is helping with the rls and sleep in general. i just want to move past this.
    I think they say 72 hours is the worst of physical symptoms, with emotional issues cropping up during the second week.

    There are so many variables in calculating the potential length of a detox, that I cannot wrap my head around them. Please just take care of yourself. If it gets worse, I would likely go back on the suboxone on your most minimal dose and use Robert's plan.

  8. #8
    eazzye is offline Member
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    i absolutely will not go back on that poison. i realize that it helps some, but i was taking it without a prescription for a year and a half, and slowly tapered myself down to .5 every other day. i figured it was time to take the jump.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-27-2017 at 05:16 PM.

  9. #9
    ElleNAZ is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by eazzye View Post
    so far all i have been taking is a natural “detoxifying supplement” and multi-vitamins in the hopes that will speed up the process. i am staying hydrated, but eating is something i find quite challenging. no imodium or anything for me yet, just what i mentioned and my adderall during the day and klonopin twice a day, as prescribed.
    If you go to ER they can set you up with a few day's worth of detox meds. I went in while detoxing from Valium and they gave me the bentyl and the zofran. My family doctor gave me the rest.

    I know that you are embarrassed. But addiction is an illness. They will not report you. They just want to stabilize you. People aren't always the best that they can be, I get that. Sometimes they betray us. But you have a need and they have the power to satisfy it. HIPAA will protect your information.

    I became addicted to Oxy because I had a terrible surgery that required a lot of pain medication and my doctor forgot about me. Not a junkie. Not a partier. Still an addict.I am no better a person than you, nor am I less of a mess. We're all in the same creek looking for paddles. Please reach out for help.

  10. #10
    eazzye is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElleNAZ View Post
    If you go to ER they can set you up with a few day's worth of detox meds. I went in while detoxing from Valium and they gave me the bentyl and the zofran. My family doctor gave me the rest.

    I know that you are embarrassed. But addiction is an illness. They will not report you. They just want to stabilize you. People aren't always the best that they can be, I get that. Sometimes they betray us. But you have a need and they have the power to satisfy it. HIPAA will protect your information.

    I became addicted to Oxy because I had a terrible surgery that required a lot of pain medication and my doctor forgot about me. Not a junkie. Not a partier. Still an addict.I am no better a person than you, nor am I less of a mess. We're all in the same creek looking for paddles. Please reach out for help.
    well so far, things haven’t been TERRIBLE enough for me to go to the ER, i think anyway. i haven’t really had much nausea, i can keep very bland foods down (crackers and such) and i am drinking fluids. so far my main issues have been the sweating constantly, and the lower stomach issues. i have my prescriptions of klonopin and adderall and found my old prescriptions of flexeril (from a bad 4 wheeler accident) and fioricet.

    like i said, i’m on day 3.. and a half now, am curious as to how much worse this will get.

  11. #11
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey eazzye, stay the course everything you are feeling and going through is all normal part of the process. We have to go through withdrawals from all the garbage we put in us. It takes time for our bodies and brain to heal. Get some liquid immoudium for the stomach issues. There's no magic pill to help you go through this it's just time. You got this.

  12. #12
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome E,

    Congratulations for making the jump and being so determined to see this through. I've read each of your posts and I know that you will get through this with flying colors because you've got the right mind set. You're off on the right foot.

    You'e done well to taper down to .5mg/day. In a suboxone world, that's still a good sized dose and therefore it's inevitable that you are going to experience a host of symptoms that are going to last a good while. The plan we use around here recommends that you taper down to .25mg/day or even less and then do a series of skip days before you make the final jump. This method makes for a much softer landing with less intense symptoms. However, I have been around this Forum for a long time and I have witnessed others who successfully jumped at .5mg and even higher so I know that you can do this too.

    Now to try and answer your questions about how long this is going to last. To be honest, it's a wild card and a bit different for everyone. Because you've been taking the subs for a year and a half, you have a significant amount built up in your system. This is because of their long half life. I'm not a bit surprised that after three days, you are just now beginning to feel some of the symptoms. Assuming you want me to be honest with you, I'm going to be and tell you that it will likely become progressively worse over the coming days. Most people who have tapered to a dose similar to your's and jumped report that the symptoms aren't as intense as going cold turkey from a short acting opiate but nonetheless they are bothersome. Restless legs, inability to sleep, anxiety, aches...all the typical stuff. When your stomach gurgling begins sending you to the bathroom frequently, use Immodium. Get the liquid kind because it works better. Don't be afraid of it because it's not dangerous so long as you take it as the bottle directs. It'll take care of that issue very nicely.

    As far as a timeline goes, your symptoms will begin to peak in another couple days and you're probably going to feel lousy for at least the next couple of weeks. Things will begin to improve but it is oh so gradual. Being able to get a good night's sleep is the one symptom that seems to be the most stubborn and will probably be the last to resolve for you too. That's typical. Resist getting and using any sleep aids that are addictive because that will become just something else you'll have to deal with later on. Instead, try Valarian Root and/or Melatonin. Both found at any grocery store, pharmacy, or health food store. Take one of those along with a strong cup of Sleepy Time Tea before bedtime and it might help you sleep. If it doesn't, it should at least relax you.

    Have you read Beefaroni's thread? He's an active member here and I think he jumped at 1mg/day. Find his thread and read it from start to finish so that you can get an idea of what you are in store for. He had the same determination as you and got through it and went to work the entire time. I think it's got to be over 3 months now since he jumped from subs and is doing quite well now. Read his thread. I think it will help you to understand what you're up against.

    No where to go but forward now so keep your eye on the prize, be prepared to have a few weeks of not feeling your best, but know that you can do this and you will do this. Make good use of this Forum by posting every day and multiple times a day when you need to. Just doing that and reporting how you're feeling and having others respond to you is of such an incredible help. Don't look too far ahead. Just get through today and then rinse and repeat.

    Welcome again. I'm ringing the bell because there's another success story here in the making. Congratulations.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  13. #13
    eazzye is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    Welcome E,

    Congratulations for making the jump and being so determined to see this through. I've read each of your posts and I know that you will get through this with flying colors because you've got the right mind set. You're off on the right foot.

    You'e done well to taper down to .5mg/day. In a suboxone world, that's still a good sized dose and therefore it's inevitable that you are going to experience a host of symptoms that are going to last a good while. The plan we use around here recommends that you taper down to .25mg/day or even less and then do a series of skip days before you make the final jump. This method makes for a much softer landing with less intense symptoms. However, I have been around this Forum for a long time and I have witnessed others who successfully jumped at .5mg and even higher so I know that you can do this too.

    Now to try and answer your questions about how long this is going to last. To be honest, it's a wild card and a bit different for everyone. Because you've been taking the subs for a year and a half, you have a significant amount built up in your system. This is because of their long half life. I'm not a bit surprised that after three days, you are just now beginning to feel some of the symptoms. Assuming you want me to be honest with you, I'm going to be and tell you that it will likely become progressively worse over the coming days. Most people who have tapered to a dose similar to your's and jumped report that the symptoms aren't as intense as going cold turkey from a short acting opiate but nonetheless they are bothersome. Restless legs, inability to sleep, anxiety, aches...all the typical stuff. When your stomach gurgling begins sending you to the bathroom frequently, use Immodium. Get the liquid kind because it works better. Don't be afraid of it because it's not dangerous so long as you take it as the bottle directs. It'll take care of that issue very nicely.

    As far as a timeline goes, your symptoms will begin to peak in another couple days and you're probably going to feel lousy for at least the next couple of weeks. Things will begin to improve but it is oh so gradual. Being able to get a good night's sleep is the one symptom that seems to be the most stubborn and will probably be the last to resolve for you too. That's typical. Resist getting and using any sleep aids that are addictive because that will become just something else you'll have to deal with later on. Instead, try Valarian Root and/or Melatonin. Both found at any grocery store, pharmacy, or health food store. Take one of those along with a strong cup of Sleepy Time Tea before bedtime and it might help you sleep. If it doesn't, it should at least relax you.

    Have you read Beefaroni's thread? He's an active member here and I think he jumped at 1mg/day. Find his thread and read it from start to finish so that you can get an idea of what you are in store for. He had the same determination as you and got through it and went to work the entire time. I think it's got to be over 3 months now since he jumped from subs and is doing quite well now. Read his thread. I think it will help you to understand what you're up against.

    No where to go but forward now so keep your eye on the prize, be prepared to have a few weeks of not feeling your best, but know that you can do this and you will do this. Make good use of this Forum by posting every day and multiple times a day when you need to. Just doing that and reporting how you're feeling and having others respond to you is of such an incredible help. Don't look too far ahead. Just get through today and then rinse and repeat.

    Welcome again. I'm ringing the bell because there's another success story here in the making. Congratulations.

    Peace,

    Cat
    thank you cat,

    honestly just reading your post gave me the biggest push i needed.
    i will do this. i can do this.

    i was JUST offered a sub about 15 minutes ago and said absolutely not.

    like i said i am legally prescribed klonopin (for crippling anxiety, i work with people all day) and adderall (i was tested by a specialist and was diagnosed with adhd).

    so far i find that the klonopin 2mg/2x a day and adderall, 30mg once a day, have seriously helped me through the withdrawals i’ve been experiencing.. although you said they haven’t really started yet..

    i have a large supply of imodium, the tablets and the liquid so i think i have that part covered.

    the main thing i am scared of is the nausea, although i have not had much yet.

    because i was not prescribed the subs legally, i cannot go to my doctor and get a note for work, i do not want him to label me as having DSB.

    on top of all of this, my father is getting a knees replacement tomorrow and is quite worried about it, which isn’t helping the way i feel at all!

    i was contemplating going to urgent care to get something for nausea if it gets to that point, but don’t want anything that makes me drowsy, but am not sure yet.

    any advice is appreciated,

    thanks again,
    - e.
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  14. #14
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by eazzye View Post
    thank you cat,

    honestly just reading your post gave me the biggest push i needed.
    i will do this. i can do this.

    i was JUST offered a sub about 15 minutes ago and said absolutely not.

    like i said i am legally prescribed klonopin (for crippling anxiety, i work with people all day) and adderall (i was tested by a specialist and was diagnosed with adhd).

    so far i find that the klonopin 2mg/2x a day and adderall, 30mg once a day, have seriously helped me through the withdrawals i’ve been experiencing.. although you said they haven’t really started yet..

    i have a large supply of imodium, the tablets and the liquid so i think i have that part covered.

    the main thing i am scared of is the nausea, although i have not had much yet.

    because i was not prescribed the subs legally, i cannot go to my doctor and get a note for work, i do not want him to label me as having DSB.

    on top of all of this, my father is getting a knees replacement tomorrow and is quite worried about it, which isn’t helping the way i feel at all!

    i was contemplating going to urgent care to get something for nausea if it gets to that point, but don’t want anything that makes me drowsy, but am not sure yet.

    any advice is appreciated,

    thanks again,
    - e.
    Try not to anticipate symptoms that may not even appear. I've followed hundreds, maybe thousands of members here and the percentage of folks who have nausea severe enough to need to treat it is very low believe it or not. Very low but there are those who do suffer that symptom too. Maybe you won't. There are some meds that help with the nausea if it does become a problem. I understand that you are fearful to go to your doctor and try to explain what's going on. Avoid the ER or Urgent Care . It's not their function to prescribe things other than to help to stabilize you until you can get into your regular doctor anyway. So, even if they gave you a couple of Zofrans, for instance you'd be right back to square one in a day or two. Instead, try a little ginger tea or get a glass of coke and stir it until the carbonation is gone. Gross. I know. But it can help settle your stomach.

    We all hate the idea of going in to see our primary care and spill the beans but if you do at some point feel like you need help, I would encourage you to go and confide in him/her. Remember that you won't be the first addict your doctor has ever met and tried to help. However, there really shouldn't be any reason to need any additional prescriptions. There are lots of things right in the vitamin aisle of your grocery store that can treat most of the symptoms. Valerian Root for anxiety and to help sleep for instance. Look for one of the Hyland products "Calm Legs" or "Restless Legs". Get ahead of this before things get worse and eat a couple of bananas a day and find one of those Hyland's products. Restless legs, if you are one of the lucky ones who is plagued by that can make you crazy. Hot baths will soothe them and I used heating pads wrapped around my legs at night. Not perfect but they sure did help.

    Keep posting and as your symptoms rear their heads, let us know and maybe someone will suggest something that might help.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  15. #15
    eazzye is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    Try not to anticipate symptoms that may not even appear. I've followed hundreds, maybe thousands of members here and the percentage of folks who have nausea severe enough to need to treat it is very low believe it or not. Very low but there are those who do suffer that symptom too. Maybe you won't. There are some meds that help with the nausea if it does become a problem. I understand that you are fearful to go to your doctor and try to explain what's going on. Avoid the ER or Urgent Care . It's not their function to prescribe things other than to help to stabilize you until you can get into your regular doctor anyway. So, even if they gave you a couple of Zofrans, for instance you'd be right back to square one in a day or two. Instead, try a little ginger tea or get a glass of coke and stir it until the carbonation is gone. Gross. I know. But it can help settle your stomach.

    We all hate the idea of going in to see our primary care and spill the beans but if you do at some point feel like you need help, I would encourage you to go and confide in him/her. Remember that you won't be the first addict your doctor has ever met and tried to help. However, there really shouldn't be any reason to need any additional prescriptions. There are lots of things right in the vitamin aisle of your grocery store that can treat most of the symptoms. Valerian Root for anxiety and to help sleep for instance. Look for one of the Hyland products "Calm Legs" or "Restless Legs". Get ahead of this before things get worse and eat a couple of bananas a day and find one of those Hyland's products. Restless legs, if you are one of the lucky ones who is plagued by that can make you crazy. Hot baths will soothe them and I used heating pads wrapped around my legs at night. Not perfect but they sure did help.

    Keep posting and as your symptoms rear their heads, let us know and maybe someone will suggest something that might help.

    Peace,

    Cat
    i have valerian root, and can make the tea, but i don’t know how much help that will be.

    hearing that nausea usually isn’t an issue is a huge relief to me, because now i feel as if i can make it through work tomorrow.

    i’ve also been taking this natural detox supplement to hopefully speed up the process and get this nastiness out of my system as soon as possible.

    they say that people with fast metabolisms get through this quicker, and at 26 it is tough for me to gain weight (due to my metabolism i’m guessing), so hopefully this hell will be over in >7 days, but who knows.

    thank you for the support, i sincerely appreciate every kind word and piece of advice i am given.
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  16. #16
    eazzye is offline Member
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    wouldn’t the valerian tea be the same as taking my klonopin?

  17. #17
    eazzye is offline Member
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    one positive thing that has come from this is that my faith in God is slowly being restored.
    i went from never praying, to praying every night and morning.
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  18. #18
    eazzye is offline Member
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    day 4 - i barely slept last night, maybe 3 hours max. i woke up with my shirt soaking wet and constant chills running through my body.
    my lower stomach is not agreeing with me at all so i will take imodium and push through work.
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  19. #19
    eazzye is offline Member
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    oh also - took an adderall to help myself get some energy, seems to be working. also took my natural “detoxify” supplement but cannot attest to its helpfulness or not. i just want this hell to be over with. not sure if tonight will be better or worse considering i couldn’t sleep and had the chills the night before as well. have work at 3:30 today and i am determined to make it through my shift.. once again, any and all advice is welcome and seriously appreciated.
    - e

  20. #20
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello eazzye, I believe you would benefit from getting Face to Face support. One Addict helping another addict going through all you are. There's no shame guilt embarrassment in it they are all there for the same reason we are addicts with a Diease. Keep up the good work this too shall pass...

  21. #21
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Eazzye pick one thread here let the other go it's easier for all here to follow you and Support you..

  22. #22
    eazzye is offline Member
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    yeah i’m going to use the other thread, sorry was new to this website and didn’t know which one to post under.
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  23. #23
    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    Def keep posting!! You're doing great... it takes a while but it's so worth it to be clean. I'm fighting for it so much I've been clean and then I threw it away for Percocet again so now I'm fighting this time so hard and I deal with a lot of pain issues but this time regardless I need to be clean and sober so I definitely feel your pain and your story but it's so worth it so keep posting.... keep pushing you can do it!!!
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