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My story - subs (16 mg) 1 year, life is BLAH, where to go from here?
  1. #1
    SoberMom3177 is offline New Member
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    Unhappy My story - subs (16 mg) 1 year, life is BLAH, where to go from here?

    Hi guys, I am newly registered to the forum but have been reading your posts for a year. You all are a true Godsend and have helped me through so much without even knowing it. I want to share my story and ask for any experience you would want to share.

    I'm 35 years old, married with 3 kids. My hubby and I run a small business... long hours and lots of stress. I developed a percocet addiction after a surgery, which lasted about a year. Up to that point I had 13 years of sobriety!! (Rehab in my early twenties for alcohol). The pills made all my stress disappear. I would have energy and feel great - until I would run out. It got so bad I was ordering them online with Bitcoin, spending thousands a month and taking up to 85 mg of perc a day.

    One day my supplier sent something that wasn't perc, I don't know what it was, just blue pills. I got so sick. When it wore off I felt awful in every way, and was DONE. I told my hubby everything and he was so loving and supportive. He found a sub doctor and drove me there the next day. Neither of us had even heard of it before, he found out about it through online research. The sub doc put me on 16 mgs plus counseling. It was a miracle! The "honeymoon" lasted about six weeks - it was an awesome, healing, and empowering time.

    Fast forward to TODAY, a year later. Still taking 16 mgs. Most days I take 12 mgs around noon, and another 4 mgs at night probably every third day. It's my way of "trying to taper" but I've been doing that for a few months and have never actually made the official drop to 12 mgs. I always take the full 16 mg on the weekends.

    For a while I have just felt BLAH. Not depressed, just "vacant," unmotivated, and emotionless. I don't laugh much, and it takes me hours in the morning to shake off that "cloudy" feeling. On the weekends I just want to stay in bed. Not sad or depressed, just tired and wanting to be alone, easily irritated. I've been taking Celexa (20 mgs) for 3 months now, I honestly can't tell a difference. I have 4-6 good hours immediately following my Sub dose, then I'm back to feeling vacant and irritable. Sometimes my brain vibrates and my whole body shakes, and when I'm trying to fall asleep I have racing thoughts and can't seem to concentrate. I'll be in the middle of my prayers then realize I'm fixated on the color of the mini-blinds or something, I have to keep forcing myself to re-focus. During the day I am about half as motivated as I was before the pill addiction, I just don't get that "reward" from a job well done, I just want to "get through the day" where I used to want to really make things happen. Sometimes I just sit in my office and watch Hulu on my computer because I can't or don't want to concentrate on work.

    I want to feel better, but I am VERY fearful of going off suboxone, for the withdrawal but also I'm worried my receptors are permanently damaged and I may never be normal again. I can't imagine life where I don't take something to energize myself.

    Has anyone experienced this? Any wisdom and experience would be greatly appreciated!!

    - C.

  2. #2
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome!

    Oh this makes me so angry to hear once again that a sub doctor has prescribed such an insane dose of sub. There is no way. Do you hear me? NO way that you or anyone else needs 16mg of sub a day and to make matters worse, you were only using at highest around 85mg of a short acting opiate per day. Insane!! I have helped and watched people coming off of 300mg of percs a day or H addicts inducting on subs and they became stable at around 4 and 6mg/day respectively. Subs have a ceiling effect at around 8mg meaning anything higher than that has no value whatsoever.

    If you go with me here and have some faith, believe me when I tell you that the reason you feel so lousy is because you are taking such a high dose. You could immediately reduce to 8mg and shouldn't even feel it but I know that's scary. Maybe you can reduce to that 12mg right away and after around 4 days and you see that you aren't in withdrawal, you'll be willing to drop another 2mg to 10mg/day and after another 4 or 5 days down to 8mg/day. Even that is a huge dose and in fact even a fraction of a mg makes a huge difference.

    We have a taper plan used here for years and has helped thousands of folks taper off of subs and believe me, they were all scared. It's Robert's Sub Taper Plan. Have you seen it and read it? Are you game? We can help you do a slow taper and put this behind you. You will feel much, much better once you get your daily dose down to a reasonable amount.

    What do you think?

    Peace,

    Cat

  3. #3
    SoberMom3177 is offline New Member
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    Thumbs up Eye opener - thanks Cat

    Thanks for replying Cat - wow I really though 16 mg was like the normal dose. I have read about people taking even up to 32 mg so what are these docs thinking?? Maybe they get more money from writing higher doses?

    I am definitely game for the taper plan, I just think my fear is the biggest inhibitor. I will try getting down to 8 mg within a month and then maybe that will give me the confidence to begin tapering down to a very small dose, and then maybe I will be ready to jump off completely. I want my LIFE back!!! I thought I wasn't feeling well because I developed a tolerance, and I needed to up my dose, which would be going the opposite direction as I want off this stuff altogether. I didn't realize it could be due to just prolonged use of higher dose. I will stay at 12 mg this week then go to 10, then 8 by the end of the month and let you know how it's going.

    Where is Robert's Sub Taper Plan? Is it here in the forum or is there a link you can share?

    Thanks again, you are so awesome!

  4. #4
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    Completely agree with Cat and wanted to lend my support. I couldn't tolerate 2 mgs myself. 16 mg would have killed me - not kidding! I initially felt okay but as time wore on, a year, I got sicker and sicker. I believe it builds in your system - especially histamine.
    Beefaroni7272 and Catrina like this.

  5. #5
    thefigurehead is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoberMom3177 View Post
    Thanks for replying Cat - wow I really though 16 mg was like the normal dose. I have read about people taking even up to 32 mg so what are these docs thinking?? Maybe they get more money from writing higher doses?

    I am definitely game for the taper plan, I just think my fear is the biggest inhibitor. I will try getting down to 8 mg within a month and then maybe that will give me the confidence to begin tapering down to a very small dose, and then maybe I will be ready to jump off completely. I want my LIFE back!!! I thought I wasn't feeling well because I developed a tolerance, and I needed to up my dose, which would be going the opposite direction as I want off this stuff altogether. I didn't realize it could be due to just prolonged use of higher dose. I will stay at 12 mg this week then go to 10, then 8 by the end of the month and let you know how it's going.

    Where is Robert's Sub Taper Plan? Is it here in the forum or is there a link you can share?

    Thanks again, you are so awesome!
    Hi C -

    You can find Robert's Taper Plan at the top of the Suboxone Treatment page in the Stickied area. Go to the middle where it says Taper and read up on the protocol. Basically, it calls for a 25% reduction in dose every 4-7 days or until you are totally stable at the lower dose.

    I followed the plan and jumped at .25 mg's per day sub. I have been clean for 57 days now. The plan really works. Countless people have followed it successfully.

    Take Cat's advice and get that huge dose down to a manageable amount. I was on 70mg oxyper day before turning to subs and I never went above 4 mg's of sub. The stuff is scary powerful and has a very long half-life, too.

    Good luck, and keep posting!

    Tim

  6. #6
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoberMom3177 View Post
    Thanks for replying Cat - wow I really though 16 mg was like the normal dose. I have read about people taking even up to 32 mg so what are these docs thinking?? Maybe they get more money from writing higher doses?

    I am definitely game for the taper plan, I just think my fear is the biggest inhibitor. I will try getting down to 8 mg within a month and then maybe that will give me the confidence to begin tapering down to a very small dose, and then maybe I will be ready to jump off completely. I want my LIFE back!!! I thought I wasn't feeling well because I developed a tolerance, and I needed to up my dose, which would be going the opposite direction as I want off this stuff altogether. I didn't realize it could be due to just prolonged use of higher dose. I will stay at 12 mg this week then go to 10, then 8 by the end of the month and let you know how it's going.

    Where is Robert's Sub Taper Plan? Is it here in the forum or is there a link you can share?

    Thanks again, you are so awesome!
    Aha. That's great and you're going to do great, Beef posted on how to find the Taper Plan. it's a simple process but I can't emphasize the importance of following it exactly.

    Beginning right away, split your daily dose exactly in half and take 6mg in the morning and the other 6mg 8-10 hours later. Dose at the same times every day. It's important to get a consistent level of sub in your system and you can't do that by taking a larger dose in the morning and less later. To get this dose, cut that 8mg tablet (or flim if that's what you have) into 4 equal pieces and so each piece will be 2mg. Take three of them and put the last in foil or an old pill bottle to use later. Due that again for your second dose and toss that extra piece into the bottle with the other. The next day, cut an 8mg tablet/film in half and take one of the halves PLUS one of the 2mg pieces you've saved. Take the other half the same way in the afternoon. When you begin to make other reductions you're going to end up with odd sized pieces so you'll have to store same sized pieces together and clearly mark them so you'll be able to get the correct dose. Soooo important. Don't just break a piece off but instead do your very best to get equal sizes. You shouldn't have trouble with that just yet but it begins to get tricky when you get down to really tiny doses. We'll deal with that later.

    You won't be sorry or disappointment by following this taper plan. Don't let your head get in the way because any symptoms you might feel until you get much, MUCH lower will likely be in your head. Don't worry or be afraid. There's thousands of folks who have walked this road ahead of you and we wouldn't lie to you. Go ahead and make that reduction and you won't even feel a difference and once you get your dose down much further you're going to feel much better.

    Peace,

    Cat

  7. #7
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hello C. Just wanted to poke my head in and say welcome as well. I was on oxy for 2-3 years around 300mg/day at the worst. Got put on 16mg of subs like you for about 5 years. Tapered my way down to 1mg/day and jumped. I've been clean for a little over 6 months. I jumped before I found this amazing place with all these great people before I ever knee about the taper plan. I will tell you that even 1mg/day of subs is crazy powerful!! It was a rough month and a half, but I made it!! Follow that taper plan!! It works. There are 2 members now, one who jumped today, and another who is about to start the skip days process. And of course Tim who was leading the way and is now 57 days clean.

    You can do this!!! And I promise you that being off the subs is soooo much better than I could have ever hoped for!!!

    Keep posting, it really helps. Ask as many questions as you want or need to. Read others threads and take their experience strength and hope!!!

    We're here for you!!! Welcome to the forum!!
    Beef
    thefigurehead and UncleLeo like this.

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