Results 1 to 16 of 16
Like Tree3Likes
  • 1 Post By lostready2change
  • 1 Post By lostready2change
  • 1 Post By lostready2change
Need to stop again, round two
  1. #1
    lostready2change is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11

    Default Need to stop again, round two

    Hello,

    I am new here. I got clean in 2013 using subs and Roberts plan. In summer of it all started up again with a visit to a dr for back pain. I was cocky and though I just needed a pill here and there. This time I was prescribed 100//15 mg Percocets every month. The first couple months went ok, I guess. Soon was stock piling extra mess and by month three I was off to the races. Using everything I had, running short, coping on street, cold turkey and too ashamed to go back to sub dr. I average 10 15mg Perocets a day for months.

    I took my last dose on Friday the 4th at 1pm. I went cold turkey and am past the worse part. The problem is I have done this many times before and caved in week one and two. Which brings me to today. I called the sub doctor last week and the earliest appointment I could get is Thursday at 2.30. Which will be 6 days after last dose. I am on day 4 and feel like >>>>.

    My plan is to induce on Thursday. It should take 1mg at most and then I can start tapering. 4 days 25% reduction and repeat. This worked great before and I was off Vicodin in about 6 weeks on one sub script.

    I don't want the 30 days of blues that Ct offers and have decided to start subs after 6 days.

    Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    Thanks in advance for you response..

  2. #2
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,142

    Default

    Welcome!

    This is your journey, but I think that it would be a mistake to start subs again after you get past a cold turkey detox. Instead of making your mind up now, why not wait to see what happens? Working a recovery program is what is going to give you best shot at success this time. It's not really important how you get clean, relapse is always a danger. Introducing an opiate (and subs are a powerful opiate), gives you no benefit toward reaching your goal of long term recovery. The work remains no matter how we get get clean.

    The best thing you can do is to complete the last of your detox and it sounds like you're close. Then, get yourself to meetings and get yourself on a healthy diet and exercise program. You completed a sub taper before so you know that there is usually a period of time after jumping that you'll feel less than 100%.

    Stay tuned here and post, post, post. Read lots too especially long threads of others who are doing or have completed the sub taper plan. Others will be along, I'm sure to give you their opinion. I just don't think that starting subs after you've successfully detoxed is a sound decision. At least give it more thought? OK?

    Peace,

    Cat

  3. #3
    lostready2change is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Cat,
    Thanks for your quick reply. My problem is I have done Ct many times before and the only long term clean time involved sub taper, meetings and honesty with wife. My pattern is Ct, then after about a week I feel good minimize the pain and make the call.

    My using is destroying everything that's me, again. I heard about the shot every 30 days. It has a blocker and no opiates. Has anyone tried that method of prevention?

    Thanks again for your reply.....
    Catrina likes this.

  4. #4
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,142

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lostready2change View Post
    Cat,
    Thanks for your quick reply. My problem is I have done Ct many times before and the only long term clean time involved sub taper, meetings and honesty with wife. My pattern is Ct, then after about a week I feel good minimize the pain and make the call.

    My using is destroying everything that's me, again. I heard about the shot every 30 days. It has a blocker and no opiates. Has anyone tried that method of prevention?

    Thanks again for your reply.....
    Yes and that's a much better idea than restarting the subs. It's called Vivitrol and it was approved to treat alcoholism but they discovered very soon that it also blocks the effects of opiates. It's not like Antabuse that makes you sick if you drink alcohol when taking it. It just blocks all the effects of opiates so it will help deal with cravings by removing the option. It can also be prescribed in pill form that you'd have to take once a day but you would have to trust yourself to take it everyday. Much safer, especially in the beginning, to get the shot.

    The clinics around here that give the shots will first do an intake meeting to get your history, etc. Then you have to be clean and have been that way for 7-10 days before they'll give you the injection. For insurance to cover payment, your diagnosis has to be alcoholism. Not fair but it is what it is so if you need to, you might have to tell them you need help with that. This is no surprise to these clinics and they know the drill.

    Good idea!! Look into the Vivitrol. It does work and after all of the hard work to detox, don't throw it away. You can find the names of the clinics who give the shots online.

    Peace,

    Cat

  5. #5
    lostready2change is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Cat,

    Thanks for the valuable feed back. I will look online for a clinic near me and call tomorrow. I'll have 7 days on Friday so technically I need to hold on less than a week more and get the shot. I hate to admit it, but I just can't make it 30 days anymore. I am truly addicted to opiates and need some help for a while, a long while. Vivitrol could be just the help I need to end this hellish cycle.

    Thank again, I'll keep you up to date.
    Catrina likes this.

  6. #6
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,142

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lostready2change View Post
    Cat,

    Thanks for the valuable feed back. I will look online for a clinic near me and call tomorrow. I'll have 7 days on Friday so technically I need to hold on less than a week more and get the shot. I hate to admit it, but I just can't make it 30 days anymore. I am truly addicted to opiates and need some help for a while, a long while. Vivitrol could be just the help I need to end this hellish cycle.

    Thank again, I'll keep you up to date.
    Perfect! I truly hope that this is the answer for you so that you can get enough clean time behind you so that you can do your recovery work and have this one stick for good.

    Don't let the clinic frustrate you. My son was taking the Vivitrol shots for a time a few years ago. He was able to detox cold turkey at home but just like the rest of us, every minute it seemed was a major struggle to not relapse. He called the clinic and had to wait almost a week for his intake appointment. We thought that because they would give him a urine screen that would show he was clean, he'd be able to get the shot that day. Nope. They sent him on his way with his next appointment 10 days after that. A really trying time but he got through it and so will you. Hopefully, the clinics in your neck of the woods don't have a wait like this but do begin to call around tomorrow and get in for that first appointment as soon as they can take you just in case you run into the delays that we did.

    There is another option that is more costly but boy it works! You can either get a prescription for Naltrexone either in a pill form that is taken every day or better yet if you can afford it is to get an implant. The implants come in different sizes determining the length of time that they are effective. They have 90 day, 120 day, and 1 year implants. It's a small pellet that they surgically place under your skin in your groin. Set it and forget it. (?OK advertising for a different product, but it suited me) I do have personal experience with the pellet and I can tell you that for me, it removed at least 80% of cravings mostly, I think, because I knew that it would be a waste of time to try and take a pill and I knew that the pellet was there and there to stay unless I went back to have it removed. It's main purpose is to block any opiate from attaching to our receptors. In my state, insurance will not cover it. I think I paid $1,000 for the 30 day pellet and it was $3,000 for the one that works for a year. I know. That's a lot of money but I figured I was spending all of that and more on my habit so it was money well spent. Again, in my state, the doctors who place these implants are few so it took me a bit to find someone and then I had to travel a couple of hours away from home. Worth every bit. I unfortunately relapsed after the pellets had dissolved because I had failed to put any work into my recovery. My addiction was still there just waiting for me. The happy ending (so far) is that I jumped once again cold turkey early in January, 2010 and am still clean with good old fashioned work. However, either the Vivitrol or the Naltrexone will give you a little insurance just don't forget that you still need to do your work.

    Peace,

    Cat

  7. #7
    lostready2change is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Cat,

    Thanks again for the life experience and kind suggestions. Having done research on vivitrol and listening to what you have said I am going to make an appointment today.

    I must return to work today. I planned my kick by taking Monday and Tuesday off. My last dose was at 1pm Friday and I'm punching in at hour 114. So messed up I know that figure and more sickening I knew how to plan it. I'll tell you Sunday and Monday I had no faith I would make to work today and was contemplating quitting my job and even suicide.

    This recovery must work. I had 15 years from 30 thru 45, used for about 4, got 3 more after a suboxone taper and here I am again. I am tired, very tired. This time I must stay clean,

    Thank you for your kind words and caring, you'll never know how much it means to this poor suffering soul.

    But, then again, maybe you do?

    Kind regards.....

  8. #8
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,142

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lostready2change View Post
    Cat,

    Thanks again for the life experience and kind suggestions. Having done research on vivitrol and listening to what you have said I am going to make an appointment today.

    I must return to work today. I planned my kick by taking Monday and Tuesday off. My last dose was at 1pm Friday and I'm punching in at hour 114. So messed up I know that figure and more sickening I knew how to plan it. I'll tell you Sunday and Monday I had no faith I would make to work today and was contemplating quitting my job and even suicide.

    This recovery must work. I had 15 years from 30 thru 45, used for about 4, got 3 more after a suboxone taper and here I am again. I am tired, very tired. This time I must stay clean,

    Thank you for your kind words and caring, you'll never know how much it means to this poor suffering soul.

    But, then again, maybe you do?

    Kind regards.....
    Yes I do understand where you are at and how you feel. I sure do. I used from when I was 35 until my last Day 1 when I had just turned 56. Same story. Countless detoxes and just as many relapses minus one. I have over 7 1/2 years now. Just know it is possible to stay clean. The whole thing is exhausting but you will get through it. It's important that you are making a plan to stay clean and are following up with it. We always think that if we can just get thru the detox, we'll know better than to ever do it again. Then we do anyway.

    Today is your Day 5? Sure hope that some of the symptoms are passing now. They should be but if not yet, soon. Still,having to go to work when we physically feel like our buts just got whooped isn't fun. On the other hand, getting ready and out of the house can often be the hardest part of it. Once we get to work, somehow we manage to get through the day and it really is the best thing for you at this point.

    Good luck with today.

    Peace,

    Cat

  9. #9
    lostready2change is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Cat,

    Awesome, you do get it. Congratulations on your 7.5 years.

    Funny story....I went to work this morning as planned. Got in, sat down, logged in, hoping everyone would just leave me alone. A nice quiet day to get caught up on my email from the two Ct off days (3 and 4).

    All of the sudden a national system I built and am solely responsible for, a system that was built 18 months ago and has never been down. You guess it, DEAD at 7:30am! The whole system was down nation wide. 10 people gather around my desk firing questions. What's wrong? When can we get in? How much longer? I thought I was going to melt down.

    I said a very sincere silent prayer and opened my eyes and started the process of identifying what was wrong. 2 1/2 hours later I got everything back online. Another engineer turned off a security system required for my stuff to work. The resolution doesn't matter. I'm telling the story because I made through and recieved praise from my co workers.

    Afterwards, at lunch I called the vivitrol dr. The girl wanted me to come in asap. I made an appointment for Friday at 5.30 after work. The lady was funny, she said make sure you don't use because we WILL test you and you will pay for the instant pee test. I laughed and said no problem. It turns out my insurance covers the 30 day shot and I'm getting my first one on Friday.

    By the way, I asked her about subs. She scolded me and basically said what you did. Every day away from opiates vivitrol makes more sense to me. I'm at 125 hours since last dose and feel surprising good. For me this is when the trouble and cycle begins again. In the next week my brain says screw them, it wasn't that bad and I start it all again. Not this time. I'm going to have my blocker in place before I go insane again.

    Sounds nuts huh?

    Well, that's my story today. Thanks for listening.

    Kind Regards,

    I'll keep you posted.
    Catrina likes this.

  10. #10
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,142

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lostready2change View Post
    Cat,

    Awesome, you do get it. Congratulations on your 7.5 years.

    Funny story....I went to work this morning as planned. Got in, sat down, logged in, hoping everyone would just leave me alone. A nice quiet day to get caught up on my email from the two Ct off days (3 and 4).

    All of the sudden a national system I built and am solely responsible for, a system that was built 18 months ago and has never been down. You guess it, DEAD at 7:30am! The whole system was down nation wide. 10 people gather around my desk firing questions. What's wrong? When can we get in? How much longer? I thought I was going to melt down.

    I said a very sincere silent prayer and opened my eyes and started the process of identifying what was wrong. 2 1/2 hours later I got everything back online. Another engineer turned off a security system required for my stuff to work. The resolution doesn't matter. I'm telling the story because I made through and recieved praise from my co workers.

    Afterwards, at lunch I called the vivitrol dr. The girl wanted me to come in asap. I made an appointment for Friday at 5.30 after work. The lady was funny, she said make sure you don't use because we WILL test you and you will pay for the instant pee test. I laughed and said no problem. It turns out my insurance covers the 30 day shot and I'm getting my first one on Friday.

    By the way, I asked her about subs. She scolded me and basically said what you did. Every day away from opiates vivitrol makes more sense to me. I'm at 125 hours since last dose and feel surprising good. For me this is when the trouble and cycle begins again. In the next week my brain says screw them, it wasn't that bad and I start it all again. Not this time. I'm going to have my blocker in place before I go insane again.

    Sounds nuts huh?

    Well, that's my story today. Thanks for listening.

    Kind Regards,

    I'll keep you posted.
    WOW! Great news all around and what a great update. The person at the clinic told you that they'd give you the shot on Friday provided you pee clean? That would be awesome. When you're done, make the next appointment. So long as insurance is going to cover it (YAY!) may as well plan to get the shot for several months at least. The more time you can stay away from using, the stronger you're going to get and the more time you will have to begin recovery work and learn to live clean. It does seem so silly that just the fact that you'll know it will do no good to take anything, really will make the cravings easier to control. So much mental aerobics. It was always that week or two after detox that I'd fall right back into things. Every day I would have that dialog in my own head thinking about where I could get something so that I could have a brief time out while presenting the argument that it would be a really bad idea.. I guess we both know which side of that argument always won. Once you get the shot, that'll be it and by the time you're ready for another, you'll have over a month clean and things will have really begun to settle down. You'll at least be beginning to sleep, you'll have more energy, and just feeling better overall.

    Now. I do have to throw in my two cents about recovery work. Sorry. Has to happen. Are you planning on trying to get to meetings? That would be wise and you know that, I'm sure. One of the pieces of advice I got right here on this Forum was to remember that doing the same things and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. It struck home. Why would we think that all of the things we have done in the past to stay clean and failed will work this time? It won't. At that point I made the conscious decision to listen to every bit of advice that was kindly shared with me and at the very least consider it. There were some things that I knew I just couldn't buy but there were others that made sense to me. The question is what are you going to do differently this time? Step one is to get the Vivitrol shot. Good first decision. Then what?

    Consider therapy and meetings. Make a list of the things in your life that has become unmanageable. Include all of the things that keep you awake at night because you're worried about them. Then cross off the things that you can't do anything about and you'll be left with your action list. After I made my list and read it, I realized that many, if not most, of the things on my list were things that could be solved if I had just tackled them instead of putting them off. Of course, not everything can be fixed so we do the best we can with those things and then put it up into the universe because your job is done. It's sometimes a relief to just admit that our hands are tied and the chips are going to have to just fall where they may. Worrying about them won't change a thing. Begin by choosing one thing that you can address without it being overwhelming. It's not important what it is just become an active participant in your life as an adult. One by one as those things drop off your list, you'll begin to gain more confidence to address the tough stuff. Think about your triggers and your habits. We all have them and usually lots of them. Most of us reach for our first pills of the day as soon as we wake up. Keep your vitamins out in the open and near by and take them instead. Rearrange your bedroom, sleep on the other side of the bed. Begin to create new healthy habits to replace the old ones. Many times people take this opportunity to just begin to live a healthier life style by eating right and a regular exercise program. It's a way to begin to feel better about yourself and it doesn't take long. Start your day by getting up a little earlier in the morning and go for a walk. In the beginning, you might have to force yourself but that habit will take hold. You get the picture.

    Keep updating. I'm anxious to follow your journey. You are not only willing to try different things this time, you are actually doing them. It's easier to make the plans than to implement them. Continue to be willing to at least consider every bit of advice you get here and other places. What works for me may not work for you but your recovery is important enough that it's worth considering. Be mindful of what you're doing and who you were with when a craving hits. Is there a reason? Sometimes there's not. The two most dangerous times for me were at bedtime when I couldn't turn my head off and when I was alone driving. Being alone early on just wasn't a good thing for me. There were times that I'd find myself pacing around the house for no apparent reason except that I didn't know where to put myself. When this would happen, I'd get out and get anywhere to be around people. That would break the cycle and by the time I got home, I was refueled with determination and I'd have made it thru that event. Don't under estimate these seemingly tiny victories. Any moment that we can be proud of ourselves is huge and they are cumulative so long as you take the time to be sure they happen and to take the time to acknowledge them. Nothing wrong with giving yourself a sound pat on the back. I could tell from your post how good you felt at work today. That's the way to turn a negative into a positive. You could have allowed the messed up program to ruin your entire day but instead, you met the challenge and became the hero. Felt good. Right?

    Peace,

    Cat

  11. #11
    lostready2change is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Can't sleep, it's 1am and my alarm is set for 5.

    Will respond in detail in the morning. Just wanted to thank you for your kind words. Even though I have planned the appoint there is still doubt. Thanks for pointing that out.

    Yes, I have very much change ahead if this plan is to work.

    Kind Regards,

  12. #12
    lostready2change is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Wow - only 1 hr sleep last night. I was not expecting that.

    Too tired to write anything meaningful. Getting ready for work.

    Will not use today no matter what!

  13. #13
    lostready2change is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Made through work, did not use. Going to take nap.

    Whew!

  14. #14
    lostready2change is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Went to work on Friday and all was well. I was past the 150 hour mark s had a great day, Officially over the hump.

    If I'm honest I must say this is where the trouble starts. I usually make it another 1 to 10 days from that point. This time would be different. I had appointment with pretty strict vivitrol doctor at 5:30. You see, I want to stay clean, but my mind goes INSANE in the 2nd or 3rd week of cold turkey.

    Friday 5pm, I'm late picking up my wife to go to the doctor. She is very supportive of me and wants to help, but irritated that I had to work 30 minutes late and with construction around our house we may be late to the dr. Office.

    We make to dr. On time. The place is kind of methadone clinic looking and that's a bit concerning. The dr. Comes right up to me and starts an aggressive line of questioning which I was amused by. I played along and really enjoyed the process.

    The office does vivitrol, naltrexone, suboxone, counseling, psychiatric and physiological work. I was rather impressed they did not have a one size fits all. The dr. Spent two hours talking to my wife and I. We hit the jackpot! I told her my last dose was 173 hours ago and of my literally over 100 cold turkey kicks in recent years. I explain each phase of the kick and she listened patiently. Then, she jumped on my behind, why would you pick up in week two or three? Look at your wife! Does she deserve this pain? I explained that's why I'm here, I want to prevent that component and stop the cycle. I also shared with in great detail my love toward my wife and her extrodinary support.

    Next next stage was why? She wanted to know why I used at all. Well,......I don't like talking about this.......because.......I was set adrift at 19. My family of origin was 5 strong I was born in the 60s middle child of three and they were all dead by age 19. Yes, all of them? I have have a depression that nobody will ever understand. I can't go to a public place and see families without pain. I have seen counsels, pastors, social workers, NA, AA, wrote goodbye letters and prayed my butt off. Nothing worked for more than a month or so, until......

    When I first took opiates I was clean, Heavy into NA and had mouth surgery. The dentist gave my 150 10 mg Vic's to take home. Not only did those little pills help the mouth pain I wasn't feeling "my mental pain" anymore. My life has been a struggle and getting worse ever since. I was a little surprised by how puzzled she looked.

    We then moved onto treatment. My urine test results were back and she pointed out traces of OxyContin. I explained the last pills were last Friday at 1pm (100%) and that I hadn't dosed in 173 hours. I did however take two immodium tablets Wednesday and 1 on Thursday. The dr. Suggested vivtrol onc e a month, my insurance did not cover the shot and she had a 500 dollar coupon. My end would be 700 a month. I laughed and told her I would rather take the 50mg naltrexone pills every day. I also explained my wife would give them to me. My insurance does cover the pills, my copay is two dollars a month saving me 698 a month. She was also concerned I had not slept a full night in over a week and wanted to help with meds. Yes, I thought wow! This could be a freebie. She prescribed 150 trazodone to be taken before bed. A ten day supply that will not be refilled. She explained this was only to help me sleep during the transformation into a naltrexone state. She also wants me to come in for discussion and urine test every two weeks until further notice and I'm ok with that. We left dr. And went to drug store to get pills.

    Last night took the trazodone as prescribed under wife supervision and slept hard for about 6 hours. Up and down a bit, but best sleep in a week. Saturday (this) morning took 50mg naltrexone at 8am.

    9am horrible stomach cramps
    10am horrible stomach cramps and diarrhea
    11am bad headache and tons of energy
    11:30 tons of energy and really bad shakes
    1pm what felt like full withdrawal was back, went to bed
    3pm woke up, can't decide what's going on. I'm not in full withdrawal because I'm typing this and being decent to my wife. Headache is back and I'm just kind of drained.

    I'm unsure if I'm going to take 50 tomorrow. Maybe half dose? I may have started to early because this is not what I was told would happen and there were still traces of opiates in my urine.

    Any suggestions?

    Thanks in advance, you guys are the best!

  15. #15
    lostready2change is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11

    Default

    I understand my thread has morphed from a suboxone taper to a naltrexone tale. I figured it is still relevant to this forum because of the fact I was on subs for a long time and was intending to start tapering again until it was suggested I try naltrexone because I was over the hump of a cold turkey kick.

    If the moderated or any member wants me to move I would be happy to oblige them.

    Thank you.

  16. #16
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    615

    Default

    Get Ready2Change-

    I've been following you're story. I was unaware of this kind of treatment option & interested to see how it was going for you.

    Update us when you can. Praying all is good.

    Luv & Light,

    ~CC

Similar Threads

  1. please help me STOP !
    By sissylala2827 in forum Benzodiazepine Withdrawal
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-03-2016, 07:43 AM
  2. Did he really stop using?
    By shan65 in forum Need to Talk?
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-27-2014, 11:57 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22