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Ready to end this battle
  1. #1
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    Default Ready to end this battle

    This is my first post ever..... I'll try to keep this short, not sure how successful I will be. So where do I start? Let me preface as I had dabbled in the prescription pills from time to time no serious use or addiction prior to this. I guess my story begins in June 2012, in the best shape of my life just about to turn 30 and old sports injury reared its ugly head from herniated discs in my back. Docs initial solution, lets start with the oxycodone 10/325 4x daily. My symptoms progressively worsened. I began to lose all muscle function from my knee down with tremendous nerve pain, drop foot and on my 30th birthday I got the news from my doctor that I required surgery. I was switched to 10mg oxycodone hcl and taking 6x per day. Surgery day 8/10/12, after surgery I was put on Valium 5mg, 10mg oxycodone hcl 8x a day and flexril 10 mg. This continued for a week or so then I was bumped to 15 mg oxycodone hcl progressing to about 150-180 mgs. That continued for about 1 month or so and I was a complete asshole to my wife and kids, I was like a zombie walking. I realized it was bad when I went to the Red box and dropped a movie off and went into the store, came back out and picked up the same movie I dropped off. I called the Doctor the next day and said I NEED OFF this stuff! They set up a wean plan for me and with my wife's help with the dosing each day, I was able to get off of everything in about 6 weeks. The first week was the worst as I went from about 180 mg to 75mg because i cheated my first week. After that it seemed pretty smooth sailing except for the end with the up and down emotions.

    In between that time and my current situation, I had done a pill here or there for recreational use. Never more then a day here or there not stringing together usage.

    SOOOOO.... In November 2014, my disc reherniated, and bam, the pain is back and so is the oxy! Gradually progressed to 60mg per day by March. Then started realizing my pills were running out early as I was taking more that 60 mg and was finding ways to fill the gap. I had three epidurals in that time period. I'd say I was doing around 80-100 mgs per day up(sometimes less when running low) until early October when my doctor called(he is 3 hours away) with the news that they were going stop prescribing me the medicine and refer me to a pain management doctor. Contacted the 3 pain doctors in my area only to be told we don't see patients already prescribed medication. DOOR SHUT, I called the doctor, their answer, just wean off with what you have left. I tried, didn't work! Then I found a source with 30s and 10s and was blowing through money. Doing as much as 200+ in one day. Finally got my wife involved again with my wean but I found myself taking some of what I bought and holding it aside to "taper" at my pace. What a fool. I would do so great and get down to 20 mg and then re-up and bam right back to 120 mg only to start over again. Well about 2 weeks ago i picked up again and said I will do it right, cut them in quarters and wean off.....the drug defeats me again and I am doing 120 mg- 150 mg a day.

    Through all of this, I have maintained a great career, coached my kids teams, not neglected my family so I feel like I was functioning, but that function has been altered and so have my families finances. I have never stolen for the habit. I was seeing it a physical dependence. It wasn't, I am addicted.

    Last Friday as I lay on my couch, about 150 mgs deep in an oxy haze, I said to myself enough is enough. I just started a new job with a promotion two weeks ago. I have been using my families money for my gain. I have been lying to myself and it needs to end. I started looking up Suboxone and doctors in my area. I emailed a doctor that night. I drove 3 hours one way on Wednesday night to meet my new Doctor. Just as many of the post I have read illustrated, my doctor said he wants me to start on 16mg. I said whoa, NO way, he agreed to 8, 12 if I need it. I have done tremendous research on this topic over the past few months and plan on sticking to ole ROBERTS plan. I will not be taking 8 mg. I will be inducing at the lowest possible dosage as directed in the Robert_325 plan.I have weaned my oxy use from Sunday-yesterday from 120-90-75-60- 30 knowing this was coming with my last dose being 10 mgs at 5:00 p.m. yesterday I am off today and will be letting the withdrawal kick in as I can already tell my body and brain are missing their normal doses. I plan on doing the COWS worksheet and know from prior experience, it does not take me very long for the Withdrawal to kick my butt. I need at least a 26 on that to get started and i will make sure I am there when I take my first .5 mg sliver, which I hope is at 5:00 p.m today.

    I am ready for this, this is my plan and I will stick to it. CT is not an option for me. This 6-8 week sub plan from robert seem good to me and that's what I am doing. This battle had got to end, for me and my family. I am tired of this cycle. Going to attend an NA meeting this week. Its my turn to get out of this hole. Thank you for your comments and support. I need it now more than ever!

  2. #2
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    You figured it out! Cool!

    I'm gonna re-post my reply here on this thread for future reference….




    Welcome to the forum. Sorry replies have been scarce as it gets slow around here sometimes. The weekends are notoriously slow so be prepared for that in advance.

    Your plan sounds good and you have done your research regarding how we suggest using sub here. I used Robert's plan myself and got off as painless as possible. One thing I want to suggest is to make absolutely certain you don't get in a rush and take the sub too soon. Did that myself, TWICE and went into precipitated wd's. Never been so cick in my life. Using the Cows and scoring honestly will insure a safe and smooth induction.

    Another thing is to NOT take any kind of "comfort" meds or supplements while waiting to induct. Taking things like tylenol, motrin, imodium, etc could very well delay your Cows score. Anything that would make you feel better is not advised. You only have to do this once if you do it right.

    And as you said, begin your induction with small doses until stable. Wait at least 60 minutes between doses giving the sub plenty of time to work. It works quickly for some but slower for others. Taking small doses insures you're on the lowest effective dose and not some outrageous amount like a sub doctor might place you on. Once you're stabilized remain there around 5-7 days to be sure you're feeling ok then you can begin the taper process.

    I'm sure others will be around soon so hang in there. This section you posted in receives fewer responses than the "Suboxone Forum" or the "Need to Talk" section. You may want to copy and paste this entire thread there.

    I'll check back with you later.

    Randy

    BTW - Glad to see you're planning on going to a meetings. Meetings saved my life and I attend every week multiple times. If you don't like one meeting try another until you feel comfortable. Just sit and listen at first to what's being talked about. You'll soon relate to others in the same place you are.
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  3. #3
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    Randy,

    As I mentioned in my other thread, I am planning on taking no "Helper" drugs, only thing I have taken since my last 10 mg at 5 p.m. yesterday was my previcid this morning for GERD. I will be seeking advice when I begin this induction hopefully tonight if my COWS score is where it should be. Will need it! I sure wish Robert was around he really helped some people along the way. Thanks again for your help!

    RJ

  4. #4
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    Sitting here at hour 21 since my last oxy, not thinking the 24 hour mark is going to be my induction because I don't feel I'm even close to 26 in the COWS worksheet, who know maybe the next three hours will prove different. So much going on in my mind right now.....

  5. #5
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome!

    Glad that Randy responded to you. Post tonight whenever you can and I'll try to check in on you too. I've never used subs but been around here and cheered lots of folks on as they successfully inducted and tapered. Good for you to make this smart choice.

    I detoxed cold turkey more than once and my Day 1 was never anything more than a bit bothersome. I worked through that Day and things didn't begin to kick up until the overnight hours and into the next day. My daily dose was similar to yours. Maybe that will be true for you too. Stay busy however you can. You will be done with this soon. Good luck.

    Peace,

    Cat

  6. #6
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    Hey Cat,

    Thanks for reaching out. Sitting here about 6 minutes from my 24 hour mark. Not feeling all to great but certainly not in full blown WD. Def not anywhere near the 26 number I need to reach for the suboxone induction.

    This is where my mind starts running, I was able to make a call to a recovery addict who has been clean for years that I call a close friend. It was the best move I made today. That devil in my mind says just get more pills, don't do the suboxone, you can wean yourself off.....BLAH BLAH BLAH. I can't do the CT just too many responsibilities lie ahead for me right now.

    Hopefully later tonight I can start this but if not tomorrow is a new day!

    RJ

  7. #7
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    So I am over 30 hours in to this WD and have a massive THROBBING headache but I know Randy said NO pain relievers at all before induction of the suboxone. Been on the pot a whole lot! I am not at 26 yet and don't want to induct early so is there anything I can do?!!

  8. #8
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    How you doing this morning? Sorry you had the headache last night. You're far better off not taking anything. Nothing until you reach that magic 26. I know this is terrible waiting but I'll bet you'll hit your score today. I'm getting ready for work but will check in with you a little later this morning.

    Peace,

    Cat

  9. #9
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    Hello Cat,

    Just the person I was looking for, I am about 40 hours in and not hitting that 26 score, really not sure I am even close and much like oxyblues, not even considering the suboxone and just hitting this head on CT. I was able to get out of the house went to Wally World and got some vitamins, melatonin, Imodium unisom etc. I have a bottle of clonidine from when I was going to try and CT the last time and bailed. Also have two Valium I could use for sleep. Never had any issues with the Valium. Really having trouble making this decision. I have to be back to work on Tuesday so that would be about just over 4.5 days in. Really need some advice. I want to do this so bad and know I can. Please help!

  10. #10
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    At 43 hours since my last oxy, still don't think I'm at the 26 score, considering not doing the suboxone and hitting this thing CT. Have some clonidine but haven't taken it also have a few benzos(Valium). Never really messed with except after my surgery and had no issues. I haven't taken anything yet as I was planning on the suboxone induction but at this point almost 44 hours in I am having trouble making this decision as I feel I could ride this thing out. I have to be back to work Tuesday AM which would put me on schedule for a day 5 return to life. I feel like I'm letting my son down by not possibly being able to coach his team tomorrow but that's why we have assistant coaches and I need to focus on this recovery and being a better father, coach and husband. Randy said the weekends were slow, but it's real quiet. Going to a NA meeting tonight at 8.

    RJ
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  11. #11
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Sorry. Crazy day for me. How you doing now? You're right. If you can hang tight another 24 hours, you'll almost be there. Oh I hope you try! I'll check in at least once more before I head to bed tonight. Been up and working since around 5 this morning so I'm nearing the end of it for today. Hope to hear from you.

    Peace,

    Cat

  12. #12
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    Cat,

    I just got back from my first NA meeting and boy was that a good experience for me. I am 52.5 hours in right now, I know I am counting hours but that is literally all I have to do right now and I consider that a success. I was actually quite surprised that the leader of the meeting told me that if I need the suboxone, I should use it. Weird because I expected the total opposite of what I was expecting to hear. BUT, to be totally honest with you this far in, I am not sure I will need it. I have been setting goals for myself, like if I make it to tomorrow morning at 5, i will have 2.5 days in and 5:00 p.m. tomorrow I will be on DAY 4!!!!! I am actually quite scarred of my situation because all in all it really hasn't been as bad as I was expecting and I am afraid I am one of the people I have read about that it doesn't hit me until day 4, 5, 6 etc. especially because I have to return to work and a job as a Director of a Department that I started only two short weeks ago....uhhh it is waying on me and the anxiety is killing because I keep expecting this to get way worse. Maybe God is looking out for me, I don't know, just so much in head right now as can be expected! Thanks for checking in on me. This place is a ghost town around here on the weekends, of course when I need it the most. Glad you have my back, I love how you showed so much support for Oxyblues and I feel your love! Thanks soooooo much!

  13. #13
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    Cat,

    I just got back from my first NA meeting and boy was that a good experience for me. I am 52.5 hours in right now, I know I am counting hours but that is literally all I have to do right now and I consider that a success. I was actually quite surprised that the leader of the meeting told me that if I need the suboxone, I should use it. Weird because I expected the total opposite of what I was expecting to hear. BUT, to be totally honest with you this far in, I am not sure I will need it. I have been setting goals for myself, like if I make it to tomorrow morning at 5, i will have 2.5 days in and 5:00 p.m. tomorrow I will be on DAY 4!!!!! I am actually quite scarred of my situation because all in all it really hasn't been as bad as I was expecting and I am afraid I am one of the people I have read about that it doesn't hit me until day 4, 5, 6 etc. especially because I have to return to work and a job as a Director of a Department that I started only two short weeks ago....uhhh it is waying on me and the anxiety is killing because I keep expecting this to get way worse. Maybe God is looking out for me, I don't know, just so much in head right now as can be expected! Thanks for checking in on me. This place is a ghost town around here on the weekends, of course when I need it the most. Glad you have my back, I love how you showed so much support for Oxyblues and I feel your love! Thanks soooooo much!

  14. #14
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Good Morning,

    Hope you made it though the night ok. That's wonderful that your meeting worked out so well. It's true that not all those in recovery are "snobs". We can just do the best we can do with what we got. Try to stay busy because watching the clock can be a killer. I'd set small goals too. 15 minutes at first, then an hour, then until bedtime when it was too late in the day to do anything stupid. I think you're gong to be fine by Tuesday. Probably a little weak and tired, but clear headed. Just use the good ole excuse that you had some kind of bug for the past week.

    Checking my eyes in the mirror every morning was a big motivator for me. I had forgotten how big my pupils were and how clear and sparkling my eyes really are. Made me wonder how so many people had never guessed my secret. In fact, after I went back to work and after a few weeks had passed, the owner of my company sat me down and asked me if I was dong coke. I had to laugh but honestly, she had never seen what my natural eyes looked like. Funny. Right?

    Check in later.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-07-2016 at 06:26 AM.

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    Hello Cat,

    So I took a little concoction last night around 11:00 p.m. Sleepy time(extra strength), two melatonin chews and 1 unisom. Also took a nice soak in the Epsom salts with lavender for sleep. I was watching TV and it hit me like bam! I couldn't keep my eyes open but the RLS gave me some trouble. I'd say I was out like a light at midnight and didn't wake up until 6:15, then laid in bed hoping for more. I always had trouble falling asleep with the Oxys, never felt rested in the mornings had trouble getting up etc. I am feeling okay, not super bad. Real achy and my joints are cracking when I get up to walk around and my herniated disc is flaring up. It's probably my brain playing tricks on me! Still full on with this CT, keeping this suboxone around in case Tuesday comes and the worst hasn't hit me yet but I have the feeling it's not going to be needed. Then it will be to the drug drop off box or down the toilet for them. I haven't drank any coffee since I started this, what are your thoughts on that? I had my wife lock up the remaining 8 percs and few tramadol I had. She changed the code and she won't dare tell me it. Those will be going down the drain as well. Time for me to start my day. 8.5 hours until day 4!

  16. #16
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tired_of_the_cycle View Post
    Hello Cat,

    So I took a little concoction last night around 11:00 p.m. Sleepy time(extra strength), two melatonin chews and 1 unisom. Also took a nice soak in the Epsom salts with lavender for sleep. I was watching TV and it hit me like bam! I couldn't keep my eyes open but the RLS gave me some trouble. I'd say I was out like a light at midnight and didn't wake up until 6:15, then laid in bed hoping for more. I always had trouble falling asleep with the Oxys, never felt rested in the mornings had trouble getting up etc. I am feeling okay, not super bad. Real achy and my joints are cracking when I get up to walk around and my herniated disc is flaring up. It's probably my brain playing tricks on me! Still full on with this CT, keeping this suboxone around in case Tuesday comes and the worst hasn't hit me yet but I have the feeling it's not going to be needed. Then it will be to the drug drop off box or down the toilet for them. I haven't drank any coffee since I started this, what are your thoughts on that? I had my wife lock up the remaining 8 percs and few tramadol I had. She changed the code and she won't dare tell me it. Those will be going down the drain as well. Time for me to start my day. 8.5 hours until day 4!


    Good Morning!

    Sorry I haven't posted lately just been very busy as usual. I see you've had a possible change of directions and are considering CT. I think that's Awesome and hope you can do this without the subs, and you have my FULL support! Yes, I help many get on and off subs, but I'm the first to say they should be the very last choice made to beat the BEAST. Cat guided Oxyblues through it as you know and she can certainly help you through this too.

    I promise to check back when I can. Sorry it's so slow around here when you need it.

    Have a great day!

    Randy

  17. #17
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    That's great. Many of the aches and pains you are feeling will get much better in a couple of days. Once you are committed to doing this CT, it will be OK to take the comfort meds including Ibuprofen that may help with the aches and even your back pain, It wasn't right away for me (bad back too) but over the counter stuff kept my back controllable (not perfect) for 6 years! I was pretty amazed by that because I was convinced it wouldn't help.

    Not sure why you want to keep the percs and trams around even if they're locked up. Sounds like you don't have many of them anyway and if you are committed to be done with this then be done with it. Take your wife into the bathroom and have a ceremonial flush. It makes a statement to your wife and more importantly to YOU. I can't say I blame you for hanging onto the subs for the time being but within the next day or two it will be time to be completely committed to be done. The worst of it will be done by Day 5 or 6 and after that there will be cravings (meetings!) and just rebuilding your strength. Nothing you won't have to deal with at some point, subs or not.

    Make a date with your wife in the bathroom (Nooooo. Not that kind!). Then come back here and tell us how you both felt.

    Peace,

    Cat

  18. #18
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    Randy, Thanks for checking in on me! Yeah I think and hope the SUBS are out of the question for me at this point. Unless this process gets completely 10x worse in the next day or so then I may have to. 2 Hours and I hit the beginning of Day #4 opiate free! You and Cat are true inspirations, reading these stories of success has made me more determined than ever. I did attend that NA meeting last night and it was an eye opening experience. Sure glad I took your advice on that one!

    Cat, So about the removal of the pills, after reading the post, I went to my wife and said we need to open the safe because I want to flush the Trams. She proceeded to ask me what the were, which in a moment of weakness I blew up like WHAT THE HECK DOES IT MATTER WHAT THEY ARE, I WANT TO FLUSH THEM!!! Not quite in those words but you get the point. I was like why is she asking, but really she didn't know what they were because a buddy of mine gave them to me just about a week or so ago, maybe 8 total. Regardless, when I calmed down we walked to the bathroom and flushed the trams. The Percs walked out the door with a friend of mine who is having major problems with his teeth right now, so they are gone as well.

    NO OXY, NO TRAMS in the house any more. Just the SUBS in emergency case if this thing get 10x worse because right now, I don't see them in the future. Yeah I spent $150 on the appointment and another Co-Pay on the subs but if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be sitting here today 2 hours from completing 3 DAYS CLEAN. I would have spent another $500 or more on OXY. I hope I can give other the HOPE that they have given me. They can defeat the BEAST, they can do it how they want, if that finish line is being OPIATE FREE!

    Thanks for the support, looking forward to watching the Superbowl and spending time with my family. I dragged myself out of the house, drove my son to his lacrosse game 40 minutes away and coached his team. It was good, minus the yawns, sneezing, sweating etc., That darn flu got me! LOL

    RJ
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  19. #19
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    YAY! Nicely done. Felt good. Right? You're right about the cost of the doctor's visit and co-pays. I have to kinda of snicker when I hear people complain about that. Seriously. It's such a small price to pay when we think of all the money we spent in the past but would have spent even in the first week let alone months and years from now. Chump change and worth every penny. You're right too that it was money well spent. While waiting to reach your 26 score, you began to feel strong enough to just get it done and over. Again, money well spent in my opinion.

    Keep in touch. I've got dinner on and waiting for the game too. Dare I ask which side of the field you'll be cheering on?

    Peace,

    Cat

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    Denver knocked my Steelers out but I don't have a dog in the fight. Peyton deserves another championship to shut all his haters up and they are playing mistake free football ie not turning the ball over. That wins games and that how they beat the Steelers and patriots. But, I like Cam and his energy, just hoping for a good game! Football is my passion, I still play flag competitively and to be quite honest, its one of the reason I ever even started taking this drug. The injury occurred playing football in my hayday and reared its ugly head at the age of 29.

    Ron
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    Day 3 done! Onward and upward onto Day 4 in the words of pixie!
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  22. #22
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    OK. I had to get that football thing out of the way. Denver has my Pats as spectators too but I know they got beat by simply being out-played plain and simple. Denver deserved that win. Period. I don't have a real preference either. If I had to choose, I suppose it would be Denver (can't believe I just admitted that). Not really having a preference, I would ordinarily cheer on the team with the fewer Super Bowl wins and I'm pretty sure that even though North Carolina is relatively new to the league, I don't think they've ever won. In fact, I can only remember them being here one other time but I'm not sure that's right. I'd have to check in with my grandson who has terminal diarrhea of sports statistics.

    Peace,

    Cat

    Glad you have another full day now. No turning back!!! You are doing this in a huge manner.

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    Pats beat the panthers with Jake Delholme in 2003 Super Bowl 38 32-29. My son was asking me that so I looked it up. I knew they played the pats.

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    You are awesome!!! So glad to hear you are really doing it. there are not many people that can do what you have done especially when they have the meds that can make you feel better - but you are doing it. You should be so proud of yourself!!

  25. #25
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    So I know by now that this thread possibly shouldn't be in the Suboxone Forum any longer. I truly had intentions of using the SUBS but through the inspiration I found here with so many successful CT detox examples about 48 hours into my withdrawal I decided that I was not going to use the Suboxone. So here is a little update on my situation as I turn the corner from Day #4. In about 20 minutes I will be 4 days clean and on day #5.

    Sleep has been pretty tough, mainly falling asleep. It took me well over 2-3 hours to fall asleep last night with the help of Unisom, Melatonin, and Sleepytime Extra Tea with a Epsom Salts Lavender bath. Sleep has been my biggest issue so far and my emotional state has been all over the place. Laughing hard a small stuff, getting chills when I hear songs, crying for no reason. But overall, I AM DOING FINE!!!!

    I called both my sisters this morning to discuss my predicament that I have put myself in. They both know of my opiate use for my back and that I was somewhat struggling with it but had no idea it had gotten to the point that it did. It really felt good to share with my loved ones my struggle. It was reassuring to have them both back me and show their support. Funny thing is we were all up at my sisters before Christmas and she had a bottle roxis from one of her surgeries that she had not taken. I saw it and thought hmmmm, I could use them. Well she was with me when I saw them. I at one point even opened her cabinet and looked at them but realized, I could not take them from her. I asked her about that night and she told me that after I left she actually checked to see if I did take them because she could tell I wanted them. THIS IS WHAT WE DON'T REALIZE WHEN WERE ON THIS >>>>! They both said they noticed a change in me that I have been distant over the past few months, hard to engage and in my own world! It was everything I needed to hear and I am glad they were honest with me. Reassurance that this needed to happen because I know it did!

    So the gist of it is, I am now 10 minutes from day # 4 in the books. I am glad I did not use the Suboxone. I am stronger now because of the choice I made. Let's all hope and pray I can get some sleep tonight and bring on Day #5!

    If you are out there right now questioning whether or not now is time to stop, the answer is YES, NOW IS THE TIME TO STOP! Do it for you and those you love before it is to late!

    RJ
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  26. #26
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    I'm so glad you have made it this far. Sharing is so scary but very liberating at the same time. It becomes OK to talk about it and gives us some much needed accountability. Good for you!

    Sleep. Yeah. That takes a little bit to level out but it will. How are your other symptoms? The other biggy aside from sleep for me was RLS. On Day 5, the RLS left abruptly so it made the nights much more tolerable. Not much sleep quite yet but I was happy to be able to be still. I'd spend hours reading and posting here and lots of movies, some of which were really bad! Once I just accepted that this was just going to be a part of it, it somehow made it easier. I just took another leap of faith that it would get better and of course it did. Be patient and just keep being as active as you can to try and tire yourself out even more. Don't get frustrated. I learned to love the early mornings when it's still quiet and I have some time all to myself.

    Peace,

    Cat

  27. #27
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    Cat,

    To be honest, my symptoms have decreased significantly. the only time I really feel the RLS is a night when I lay down but the weird thing about last night was that I did not have it that bad, well when I think about it I did have it and maybe that's why I was tossing and turning. I have had occasional upset stomach but only have the runs really bad the first 24-48 hours. I have been eating very healthy(lots of green shakes, protein shakes, bananas and salads with chicken. Yep that has been my diet and have forced myself to work out everyday since my last pill. It feels so good when I was done but man my legs are feeling it.

    That is the thing, I was in good shape before starting the meds, but since taking them I can't remember going to the gym once, now I did re-herniate the disc I had surgery on but there was a point after the last injection in August that I could have. I put on so much weight in the last year but the one good thing is I have lost 12 pounds since taking my last pill. I am looking forward to a more healthy lifestyle like I had before my back surgery in 2012. I need to quit chewing tabacco, been doing that on and off for the last 11 years. That needs to end too.

    My armpits are sweating like crazy! That is very annoying and doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Looking forward to this recovery and taking life by the horns again. We all have a lot to live for whether we realize it not when on these darn drugs. I hope everyone at some point that is going through it finds the strength that You myself and so many others have. What I have learned is that it has to be our choice, nobody else can make this decision for us. Thanks for all of your support. You are one of the few looking out for me and I really appreciate it!

    RJ
    ItsPossible likes this.

  28. #28
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,142

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    Good Morning,

    Sounds like things are moving in the right direction. This is the perfect time to just get healthy again in body and mind. I tried to look at my recovery that way too. Your physical stuff will begin to subside significantly now and you'll have to continue to adjust to your new sobriety. I'm glad that you've reached out for support. Keep posting here. I can't even begin to tell you how much that has helped me!

    Continue to create those new good habits to replace the bad ones. I love watching another success in the making. Congratulations!

    Peace,

    Cat

  29. #29
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    Hey there Cat and TNT,

    My two supporters out here, thanks for checking in on me! Here a little update, I am currently on day 6 as day 5 ended today at 5 p.m.!!!! Let me say this, I feel good!!! Worked a 9.5 hour day today came home had a good dinner with the family and went to play some volleyball tonight and I played the best I have in a LONG TIME! I was focused, clear headed and it felt good to put my all into it. Most of the physical symptoms have subsided with the exception of the MASSIVE sweating from my armpits!!! I was sweating through a t-shirt and pull over shirt today. If that's all I am dealing with at this point I can handle it. My brain is still a but foggy as I caught myself missing things at work and I also caught myself thinking about doing pills today. It was kind of surreal it was like I was like when do I need to take my pill today and actually had a dream last night about it too. I don't have a desire to take the pills though. Guess my brain is playing tricks on me. All and all I am on the up and up! It can be done and being on here really helps!

    How you doing TNT, hanging in there?

    RJ

  30. #30
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
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    More good news from you. That's awesome! Even though your dream was probably not one you enjoyed, it was a dream nonetheless. Someone told me here years ago that when in active addiction, we either don't dream or don't remember them. I hadn't really thought about it but for me it was true. So, when I began to dream again and/or remember them I took it as a sign that I was beginning to heal.

    Hope you have another good day and keep up the good work.

    Peace,

    Cat

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