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Really need help please day 5 cold turkey
  1. #1
    Sicarius318 is offline New Member
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    Default Really need help please day 5 cold turkey

    I just joined this post because I really need some help. I have been an addict for more than 10 years and I am finally done with it. Tired of depending on it just to make through a day. My biggest issue is that I have multiple things going on right now and it's making it extremely difficult to get off and stay off. So a little back story here.... I have been on suboxone for 5 -6 years and before that pain pills. I am currently in the middle of a relocation with my company due to promotion and am not within driving distance of my previous home. My wife and daughter are still there and my wife is a user as well. I have no self control and ran out while I was here and decided just to be done with the pills. Within the last two days I found out that I am going to need surgery and am both afraid of getting medication and afraid of the pain I am in without it that the suboxone was suppressing. I have a script but will not and have not filled it. My other issue is that I am going home this weekend for my daughter's b-day and my wife is getting her script today so yet another temptation. I guess what I am getting at is my mind is really messing with me telling me it's a bad time to quit and just a little won't hurt. I feel like death and cannot take any time away from work to make it through. I am the boss and have to be sharp. I guess i am really just asking for some moral support here. Sorry for the long post.
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  2. #2
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Sicarius
    Welcome!
    You were on subs for 5 years? What dose and when did u take your last subs?
    When u say you and your wife have scripts, are they for subs?

  3. #3
    Sicarius318 is offline New Member
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    We both have them for subutex. It was suboxone at first and got switched. The docs are treating us like a money pit and criminals always saying that we have to pay extra for a better drug test because ours comes back fishy. We dont touch anything else so it seems like a scam. At the same time they have never once mentioned tapering down. Or helping us come off. They wrote it for 60 8mg so 2 per day 16mg/day total. I was down to 4mg every other day for 5 days before I stopped. I have been thinking about quiting for years and had for 6 mo. at one point back when I was on the pain pills. I have been doing nothing but maintaining for years and am done with it. I felt that getting out of town would be a great opportunity to quit. Terrible timing but a great opportunity anyway.

  4. #4
    Sicarius318 is offline New Member
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    My biggest issue at this time is that my mind is going to funny places with depression and being away from everyone is not helping. Before today I had no one to talk to and felt I might be losing it. All of my friends have died due to drug related things years ago so I really have no one to talk to. Not looking for a pity party just need some moral support. I didn't know any forums like this existed before today. Again thanks for any comments or anything anyone can provide for a time frame to feel better. Just need some light at the end of the tunnel to pull through.
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  5. #5
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Sicarius
    So for five days you've taken nothing? Just want to get your situation straight.
    You were down to 4 mg every other day and then jumped?
    At the top of the Sub Forum is a Sub Treatment plan. It would help you a lot to read that.
    It outlines a taper plan for getting off subs.
    The mind thing is quite normal during the detox. Depression haunted every one of us so you're not alone.
    Most of us also had no one we could talk to about the problem because, as u said, they're either dead or don't know.
    However, The folks on this Sub Forum are neither, fortunately, and we're here to help. We've walked this path.
    So, you're in the right place.
    Let me know the answers to those questions when u can. You might want to taper but it's your choice. You've still got a lot of sub in your system. The half-life can be 72 hours on one dose!
    Hang in there.

  6. #6
    Sicarius318 is offline New Member
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    Yes so for 5 days I've taken nothing and I had cut down to half a pill every other day so 5mg every other day for 5 days before cutting off completely. That's how I kicked pain pills years ago so thought it might work. Timing is terrible due to surgery on Thursday and I'm hesitant to fill or take what they prescribe. I do wish I could have read the sticky first about tapering off. I have no choice but to suffer through it until I go home on Friday so I guess my biggest question is will the worst be over and is there a point to going back after almost 10 days. I have read some of the other posts and drinking boost and Gatorade as well as b6 really helped for a short time today. Not a cure all but definitely made it a bit more manageable. After a couple more days of actually getting some nutrition I'm hoping to feel better.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-15-2016 at 03:39 PM.

  7. #7
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    Sicarius318

    I wish nothing but the best for you and trying to get off them subs. I think they do something to your kidneys thats not normal is why your tests are coming back fishy. I actually failed a drug sample for my job because of low creatine levels in my urine because of the subs(it had to be because i never had that problem before). Fortunately the company likes me and and let me retest and i passed by holding in half my overnight urine and did that with every test since.

    I'm on my third week of quitting 16 mg of subs cold turkey and am thankful I didn't have to work through any of it. Your situation is a hard one because of your surgery and job. You can do it and its possible to stop but if it gets to be to much because of your surgery remember that there is some successful taper plans on here you can use. I notice that there is some mixed feelings on here with the subs and how they help people. They do help people and did help me at the time to get back on track but there is a time where you have to say enough is enough. I personally had enough and just wanted to get out of the clouds and try to regain my life back. Its the hardest but most rewarding thing i ever did in my life. This site helped a lot. Hope your doing ok.
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  8. #8
    Sicarius318 is offline New Member
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    I appreciate the response and really it's the not sleeping and trying to work that's making it the worst. Blackwilliam, you said you were on week 3? Anymore detox symptoms or are you over the worst? I've thought about getting back on Friday depending on how I feel after surgery so i can taper but I've already been through so many days I really don't want to. It's a constant back and forth in my head. If I was still at home i would not have quit so I'm almost grateful for the opportunity (at times) to get clean. Biggest issue I'm going to have is going home to see my family knowing my wife has some. I've thought about filling the script the doctor gave me for 7.5 hydrocodone only to manage the pain right now due to the surgery and to make it a little more bearable. Anyone have thoughts or recommendations on this? It's a tough one I know but if they help me get off subs and due to the fact that they don't have a 72 hour lifespan and the fact that I can't get more.... It seems like a good plan right now. Might just be the 72 hours without sleep talking though. Not really in a good frame of mind to make that choice right now.

  9. #9
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    Yes the worst is over for me even though I got the flu recently it was nothing i couldn't handle after withdrawl. For me days 4, 5 and 6 were very bad and days 7 and 8 were slightly but not much better then it was all uphill for me from that point. I didn't sleep much the first couple weeks and now its like a shot in the dark, sometimes i sleep good other nights not so good and i lacked energy for a while but its slowly coming back. I feel much better now and even though i'm not 100% yet i have a much different outlook on life value things more that i took for granted before and im happier on the 3rd week of recovery than i ever was on suboxone but it may not be the same for everybody.

    Make sure to tell your anesthesiologist about your situation because he might not give you enough to put you completely out. It happened to a buddy of mine where he was out out enough that he coudn't move but was aware enough to feel the operation. Anyways i hope you make make the right choices because this is your path and your story but there is people here that will help you whatever that choice may be. I wish you nothing but the best.

  10. #10
    Sicarius318 is offline New Member
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    I woke up this morning feeling quite a bit better than i have in a while. Actually got some sleep which helped I'm sure. I appreciate the advice on telling the doctor about my higher tolerances. They said it would have made a huge difference. Well anyway, I made it through surgery just fine and am dealing with some localised pain but nothing I can't handle. I appreciate the feedback that has been given. I am supposed to be OK to fly tomorrow so I'm going home finally to see my family. Only hurdle left is the temptation of knowing my wife has some when i get there and will not stop me from getting some. She said she can't be my conscience or help me because of her own struggles which I understand. Just have to remember why I'm getting clean and to take it a day at a time. Again thanks for the support.
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  11. #11
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Sicarius
    That's right. You have to save your own life. And what good would it do to take subs? Why take the chance of putting yourself into precipitated withdrawal (that is, if there's any meds still in your system from surgery and post op treatment?)
    That would be much worse.
    Be the Light that guides your wife out of drug-prison. Have you got youngsters at home?
    Stay strong. Keep posting when tempted.
    We're here to help. We've walked the path too...

  12. #12
    Sicarius318 is offline New Member
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    Thanks ming23, I've been home for a few hours and I'm hanging tough. I asked her to at least not let me see it or her taking it. I am spending time with my daughter and its the first time I've been all there if you know what I mean. It's amazing. I'm going to hang tough and kick this monkey off my back.
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  13. #13
    ghostrc is offline Member
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    cant believe how close your story is to mine, my wife also takes the very pills i was addicted to, she s not a addict like me though, she keeps them under lock and key but i know what your saying that temptation is crazy, glad things are starting to go good, it does get better and they feeling you get playing with your kids sober is amazing, pet monkeys are messing best let him go, life will be much easier.
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  14. #14
    Sicarius318 is offline New Member
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    Day 9 is going well. Still have trouble sleeping but at least I'm getting a little. Trying to stay on the positive side of each issue that comes up. It really helps to be active even though I just want to not move at all. I can only do so much right now but things like decorating for the birthday party are really helping to get my mind off it...for the most part. Still taking nutrition aides like boost and vitamin B and its helping. It's amazing how much damage that stuff does to you that you don't even realize. I don't think I would have made it this far without the support on here. Still a struggle but keeping strong. Thanks again for your support.
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  15. #15
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Sicarius
    Proud of you! Yes, it is a constant struggle. But you can do it!
    Perhaps the wife will copy you. Perhaps not. That's part of the challenge. But you have kids who only get one chance to be kids. Addiction robs them of their parents's attention and as you know, subs etc. stifle the emotional component and that affects the children too.
    It isn't until we're off subs that we see how emotionally dead we were. I had to put my dog down during the taper and couldn't even cry.
    You'll never regret getting off the subs. And you'll really help the children to claim their childhood! There's no do-overs raising younguns, so congrats to you for making this Great Effort!
    Be strong for the family!
    Proud of you!

  16. #16
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    So? How's it going?

  17. #17
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Sicarius
    What's going on? How are you holding up?
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