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Trying to get free and live off sub
  1. #1
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    Default Trying to get free and live off sub

    First thanks to all here trying to help and to Randy who provided a link on Jump's thread to start my own thread!
    Quick story: I'm 56 and been a recreational drug user since I was 15 no real probs. Well did have an issue with blow back in the 80's. I'm from a university town in Florida and it was everywhere. But after grad college I cleaned up my act and just smoked weed and drank.
    I've got two great kids in college now but...a few years ago had surgery and had an IV hooked to my hand with all the opiate pain killer I needed -wanted. That was the beginning to the end. Lost my job and everything I could sell to feed my monster. Couldn't even get high just kept wd's at bay.
    I never even heard of sub until a month ago while searching for a meth clinic to start going to. I also have a cousin who got clean from opiates using sub. But I didn't know she used subs to get off until I came out as an addict a month ago. I came clean to my fam. Now living with my mom whose completely supportive. She's the best!!
    My cousin, who I love goes to NA almost everyday and stopped c/t at 8 mg sub and it was a nightmare and she has nothing positive to say about sub. But for me(and I'm guessing her) I could never wean myself off the oxy, hydro, percs. I just wanted more.
    Anyway I started sub 19 days ago at 16mg which I read was too high a dose so started going down after a couple days and now 3 days at 0.5. Also I go to NA meetings. Ugh...I hate it. I feel like I have nothing in common with any of them in this Podunk Florida town where I live. Maybe if I was in Gainesville, Tallahassee, or Miami but this redneck town -no! But when I told my cousin my reason for not going to NA she reminded me yes you do: you're all junkies! It's true. So NA I go!
    Anyway I just want off. I keep reading to stay on until you stabilize at current dose but not sure what people mean by stabilize? I can get by at 0.5 per day sub but only sleep a couple hours a night, nervous, etc but by 3am I'm awake and wanting. Should I stay at this dose a few more days and then 0.25? Then skip days?
    I also have a two mg day script Xanax but only taking 1mg per day -little pieces at a time. I want off it too but figure I need it until I'm sub clean.
    Again thanks to everyone here and hoping to hear from someone. I want to be free! And be a father to my kids. Also make my mom proud of me again. She says she is but when I look in the mirror I find it hard to believe...
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  2. #2
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Rockbottom!
    I sent u a post on another's thread. Glad u got your own.
    If u can avoid the methadone clinic--keep running! It was hell to kick!
    It's best not to make 50% drops. Going from .5mg to .25mg is a big drop. Do u dose twice a day or only take the .5mg once?
    Hang in there!
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  3. #3
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    Atrockbottom - hey sweetie. Welcome to the club lol. Subs are tricky but you sound like you are down pretty low. I tried tapering several times but have no self control so I had to go c/t. My husband did taper though and it took 4-5 days to feel better each time he went down. Crazy your dr started at 16mg. My dr started me high dose also and never once tried to get me off in 9 years. They have no idea what They are doing sometimes. It's hard to find a good sub dr. I'm on day 25 clean off and it has been very difficult and still not all the way human again but I'm so glad I did it. My story similar to yours 37 yr old 2 yr old and 9 yr old boys been doing recreational since 14-15 years old partied with hard stuff occasionally but never on regular basis. BUT then had kidney stones and got addicted to hydro/oxy that were over prescribed for too long then just cut off after 2 hrs was getting them off street after that for about 7 years. When I had my first son I knew I had to change on top of that I was scared we would go to jail chasing pills down on street or going bankrupt and losing everything because of cost of them. You are awesome for making this decision. Don't let other people's story's scare you. You are getting to an extremely low dose before stopping - that is what I think makes all difference. Please let me know how you do and I will be here if you have any questions I can answer or just here to chat. You can do this sweetie I promise!!! - Kim
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  4. #4
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    Tears,
    Wow 25 days off subs! That sounds fantastic! Hardly wait until I can say that. And, and IMO so good you and ur husband getting off while your kids are young. Mine just starting college and needing $$. I could shoot myself for getting in this situation now of all times. And i might have I was so tired of being a slave, sneaking around to score, etc. sure prison was on the horizon if I hadn't stopped the opiates. Suicide was something that crossed my Mind almost daily.
    But as bad as it is (addictive, rewires brains, etc) this sub is what got me off opiates. I could not wean myself off the junk no matter how hard I tried. But I'd have had the same story as you trying to wean myself off in 9 or 10 YEARS if people like you hadn't come on here to inform us other new (and old) users that our scripts are way too high!!
    Because of y'all I was able to understand that I needed to start my taper almost immediately! So thank you to all the people who share their SUCCESS stories. I don't read the horror stories anymore. It's not constructive to me; really they scared me into thinking I'd just traded one addictive drug for another. Which I did. Lol!, but I never expected it to be easy just doable!
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  5. #5
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    Ming, I got your posts on the other thread. Thank you! I guess the bright side of being way over prescribed is that if you REALLY want to get clean you can do it with 1 or 2 scripts. Which in my case is good because my money hungry sub doc charges $300 first visit and $200 each following visit and cash only! And that didn't include price of the suboxone itself! So I'm in for a $$1000 first month. I don't plan to see him again...EVER!
    I've got to cut my 8mg sub films down today into 0.25s which may mean I'll have to get some reading glasses on because, as you know almost microscopic. Also I want to cut some even smaller slivers in case, like you said the 50% drop is too much. If too painful I'll take a 0.125 sliver -if I can pick it up with tweezers. That's how I pick up the 0.5s. Wish me luck!
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  6. #6
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atrockbottom View Post
    Ming, I got your posts on the other thread. Thank you! I guess the bright side of being way over prescribed is that if you REALLY want to get clean you can do it with 1 or 2 scripts. Which in my case is good because my money hungry sub doc charges $300 first visit and $200 each following visit and cash only! And that didn't include price of the suboxone itself! So I'm in for a $$1000 first month. I don't plan to see him again...EVER!
    I've got to cut my 8mg sub films down today into 0.25s which may mean I'll have to get some reading glasses on because, as you know almost microscopic. Also I want to cut some even smaller slivers in case, like you said the 50% drop is too much. If too painful I'll take a 0.125 sliver -if I can pick it up with tweezers. That's how I pick up the 0.5s. Wish me luck!
    Hey Rock
    Lol. Me too. I had to wear glasses and use tweezers for the small doses! I only needed one script of 8 mg foils to taper. In fact, i have some left over! That prescription was supposed to be a 2-week dose! It lasted me 4 months!!!
    The doctors overprescribe because they're following the guidelines set by the drug manufacturers. What a conundrum!
    Thank heavens for this Forum! Saved my life--and i'm no kid; just turned 66. So, if i could do it, so can you!
    Proud of you! Post when u can...
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-21-2016 at 12:01 PM.
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  7. #7
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    Atrockbottom,

    Hello fellow Floridian. Amazing, I am 55 and grew up in South Florida so I know what you mean about the blow. And qualudes and just about everything else. Moved to NC in 2003, hurt my back in 2004. Been hooked on percs up until October 2014 when I started subtex 12mg a day. I started to taper about six months ago. 2 mg a month. When I finished my last month I asked if I could stay on 2 for a couple more weeks. I could feel the body reacting. I started to break those in half for two weeks then I broke the halves in half. Long story short, I'm on day 9. The worst part was the first four days. My main problems now are insomnia, NO energy, muscle aches including my back again and my skin is on fire. I know there is going to be freedom from all this I just need to be patient. Hang in there. Hey, at least your still in the sunshine! I wake up to go to work some mornings and it's in the single digits. I hate that!
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  8. #8
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    Ming thanks so much ur support! I'm now day 22 and apparently have successfully tapered to 0.25 sub -today's day two at that dose. Whew! Anyway plan to split that into 0.125 in a few days the skip days and jump!! ;-)) I'm both really happy and scared. And tired! Almost no sleep whatsoever. Just a couple hours a day. Tired as hell but..
    Also at 56 I'm no kid either. But, like you this site/forum saved my life. And the sub allowing me to get of the opiates.
    As far as the sub doctors and big pharma? IMO I think they know (just like the tobacco industry and their nicotine retrieval devices-cigs). They want you to get hooked. It's a for-profit business so they have no interest in you stopping. If they can get you hooked at 16 mg (like my sub doc tried on me) then you're going to be stuck way longer! Luckily, like you I found this site. And started tapering immediately. I'm still not out of the woods, but combining my taper with NA, people like you's support, and knowing there's a better life out there I'm gonna succeed!! I can already see light at the end of the tunnel! ;-))
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  9. #9
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-22-2016 at 06:25 PM.

  10. #10
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    Good God almighty! Every time I reread one of my posts I find grammatical errors! This stuff screws with the brain. Well here to get clean so whatever. Lol!
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  11. #11
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    Yes Rockbottom it ruined many a good people in the 70s- 80's. I now live about an hour from Cherokee. Love it up until about January. Anyways, today is day 10 and I'm feeling pretty bad still. I was pretty desperate to get off the opiates after the last decade of the Dr's just passing them out like candy. So when they put me at 12 mg who was I to argue. I know it's a matter of time so I just keep plugging along. Just went and got some Benadryl. See how that work. You hang tough bud. We WILL get through this!
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  12. #12
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    We're on the same path 714. And, we're both gonna get off this train! Funny though I just ran up to get some Benadryl myself! Only way I can get any sleep...and only a couple, sometimes three hours sleep using the max dose! Hey you don't live near sylva (sp?) do you? When I was married we thought about moving there when the kids were little but housing market went to hell here.
    Also are you saying 10 days free?? My schedule is taper down from 0.25 to 0.125 on Thursday! Hope you stay in touch homie!!

  13. #13
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    Sylva is probably about 45 min from me. I moved up here in 03. Started in asheville which reminded me of Coconut Grove back in the 70's. Now live in Henderson county. I took 2 Benadryl and some sleepy time tea. Slept 2 hours. Been up since midnight. The tingling and burning sensation seems to be getting better. Still no energy. Just keep telling myself this too shall pass. Today is day 11. I hope I'm getting close. Stay strong brother!
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  14. #14
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    Yeah....Coconut Grove. My GF and I drove down from G'ville when we were attending UF. Felt like there was a sign there that said "...only beautiful people allowed." Ha ended up meeting another couple we knew from UF there and we're drinking pitchers of beer at a sidewalk cafe. We were poor students and used to college bar prices (about $2.50 per pitcher) but in the grove they were 7.50. SHOCK! Prob $ 25.00 today.
    It'll pass! And I'm right behind you! So stay strong homie!! I woke up at 1:30 and fought it until 4am before I took my 0.25 sub. Tomorrow last day that dose then 4 days 0.125 and jump! Stay in touch puleeze!

  15. #15
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    Surprisingly I'm feeling a little better today. No sleep and no energy but that burning sensation all over my body has lessened quite a bit. I'm a little hesitant because last time I felt this good it came back the next day. Yeah the Grove has been yuppified over the years. Big restaurants etc. I used to hang at a place called Monty's Raw Bar. You could access it by boat so you can imagine what the boats were bringing in. Hey bud, I will hang out as long as it takes. As I said, We Will Get Through This.

  16. #16
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    Yeah last time I was in the grove about 1989. Not a good day me. Able relax a little now but severe wd's until hour ago. Still 0.25 though. And tomorrow. Gonna try cut rest of them 0.125 but now little scared. I'm gonna make it. But realized jumping gonna be worse than expected. ;-/ just gonna have to persevere!

  17. #17
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    But I'm glad it's a better day for you 714!!!

  18. #18
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    The best thing I have done is what ming23 suggested with the water. Pound as much as you can. Plus I am forcing myself to get up and walk as often as I can. Hang tough brother.
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  19. #19
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    Getting a glass right now 714 and thanks!! And to Ming..she's given me much support through this ordeal too!! ;-))
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  20. #20
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    Rockbottom,

    Just want to touch base with you. Hope your doing well. Day 11 is the best I have felt so far. Still some burning in the body but nothing like before. When do you plan on jumping off? I have WD from opiates and Benzo's in the past and I can honestly say though longer than opiates it has not been bad enough to miss work. I have been miserable and definitely not very productive, I did make it everyday. Benzo's was definitely the worst. Hang in there brother.
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  21. #21
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    Hey Rock,

    How you doing? Starting day 12 today. Actually slept 4.5 hrs straight. You can do this bud. Don't give in. I know you can do it Homie!
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  22. #22
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Rock!
    I was right there in S FL with you and 7eleven--enjoyed the 70s and 80s in the greater Miami area. I especially like the Grove and Biscayne Bay. The Mutiny Hotel. Lol. They still had spring break then in Miami unlike Daytona now.
    It was pretty wild.
    How are you feeling today? NC weather's been up and down. Hang in there.
    What's your next decrease?
    Proud of you!
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  23. #23
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    Hey Rock!! What's going on brother? Checking to see how you are doing. Hang tough, you can do this!

  24. #24
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    Ming,

    I loved the 7 eleven! Especially the Krispy Creme right next door. Get there about 4 am when the doughnuts were still hot.
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  25. #25
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 7fourteen View Post
    Ming,

    I loved the 7 eleven! Especially the Krispy Creme right next door. Get there about 4 am when the doughnuts were still hot.
    714
    Duh me! Sorry. Didn't mean 711!!

  26. #26
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Rock
    Wasup? You ok? Post when you can. Thinking of you...
    Hang in there!

  27. #27
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    714 I'm day four no sub!!! Thank God!! Can' hardly sleep but think I'm gonna make it!! Didn't respond anyone because banned a week. Broke some rule but that's ok, back now.
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  28. #28
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    Ming I'm like you I hope!! 30 days done! Still a little rough but way better. See freedom!! Ha

  29. #29
    Atrockbottom is offline Member
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    Yeah Ming south beach....the Clevelander. Prob not there anymore. But holy moly south beach Miami in the 70s/80s? If you weren't there hard to believe! Course still party central.
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  30. #30
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atrockbottom View Post
    Yeah Ming south beach....the Clevelander. Prob not there anymore. But holy moly south beach Miami in the 70s/80s? If you weren't there hard to believe! Course still party central.
    Rock
    The Mutiny on Biscayne Bay! Ooooh
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